2004 12 17
Dear worst-reader. My dear little wrost-(note)book (Moleskine) full of whatnot, it has a fancy but dull hard black cover. What is the sense of it all if it all has been done? No. If it all has no sense. (Yeah, that’s the ticket.) Even the question must have been asked a thousand times. At least a short trip to Rome left me wondering about wealth–among other earthly things. And if there really can be a city within a city. Nothing matters. Nomatter. Certainly not fallen heroes. Or perhaps those not fallen. Bricks in the huge wall of man’s mistake(s) that make up the barrier of life. Life that is really something else. Not just existing or surviving. I wonder if Milton tried this. Turn the tide and make someone see white where there was always black. But how? We artists. The lost artists who earn and live for nothing. (This is done by wanting to find truth which everyone wants to avoid.) We soak up the want of more. What? Cars. SUVs. The acceptance of Milton’s possible apotheosis. Satan. How? (Don’t ask.) We must look to Byron and his hero: rebellious, antisocial (especially when it comes to institutions) not being adherent to something (national, organizational, etc.), anti-authority, smart and (humanly) functional, having a past that you don’t let run you down, an emotional wreck, capable, like Nero (ok, bad example; so you pick something dear worst-black-book), of sticking a knife in your own neck.
The human legislative has once again been separated. But who sits on which side of what?
What is good, what is Evil? If Evil at some point in time created and nurtured the world as we know it today than that means we have NO way of realizing our misdirection. Evil has systematically purged our intellects and subsequent institutions of any pathway to truth. This has been done by careful planning, I’d worst-say, to somehow counter the occultism. The idear of mysticism was taken to new levels. Enter the inquisition, communism, the crusades… Not in that order, of course.