Victim

Victimisation. Who has it? Where does it come from? A pillar of society it is not, yet we weave like small children at play through various forms of it/them, not knowing or even questioning their history. And for what? When all is guided by the emotions that come from it then it is no wonder it has mutated to become what it is. In the eye of the beholder lies the source of reciprocity and sovereignty. But to actually SEE the ills of one’s ways is not the solution. As we travel through life to our ultimate end, we never really admit that our end justifies the means. So I must ask: Is the means worthy of discussion when all it entails is dying? And so…

While summarising in the means it becomes impossible to perceive the big picture (which is the simple fact that no matter what we do or say or produce all leads to… lights out.) This leaves us with a (sort of) void, which needs to be filled. Hence, victimisation.

I am amazed that after one year of OFFICIAL separation  my (ex)wife could do what she did. But am I a victim? How easy it is to quit something. No. That’s not right. How difficult it is to quit something. Its so much easier than acquiring something. (Like a career that suits a wife.) I say that because… stuck in this mind is not just one world but six and they’re all brilliant and shinny and full of dreams and trees. No one should ever accuse me of quitting. Losing, maybe. Yeah, losing is good. Better. No. To be separated from what is really important someone else must take the initiative. I feel bad for my (ex)wife. She is such a fool–for letting me love her. Not once did she swallow her pride. I guess that what the females do (or don’t do in their “giving” of themselves). Then to top it all off, she acquires the power to demolish–and she uses it. Or is it I? What was being asked of her? To let me live as I wanted to live and not (only) as she dictated that I live? Again. Why did she marry me? To change me, obviously. And what did she ever give in the whole deal? Shame on me.

I must look into the future and write what happens when out of all this mess…

What is the only human trait worth mentioning? I say, to those aliens asking, it is the resilience of children. Perhaps a distant second, an enormous distance, worth mentioning to our three-fingered genetic parent, is the absorption capability of adult single women. It’s also so much easier to describe. The prerequisite for understanding a child’s resilience is to have them–which isn’t difficult. (But.) The absorption issue of a woman is quite something else. As noted, this is about adult women–to be more clear, women between the years of twenty and death. Or forty. Which ever comes first. The basis of such an assumption is my experience in–you guessed it–experience in… forget it. More importantly love without condition. Unconditional love. Where is it. Oh look! It’s on that frisbee a dog is about to jump at. It is the natural feeding the natural with children. It is the natural feeding the unnatural with women. The basis of such hypothesis is condition. The love of a woman is conditional, for good reason, I might add. But when her love is unattainable, like a German chick, she becomes blind of it. She can see everything else–especially new love. But the rest she is blind to. Oh, the wrath of the grand SHE falling out of love. This is the unnatural and its origin rests in, just like time, an invention of…

Nuff.

Rant on.

-Tommi