Speaking mind from some side street off of Geary Street, SF. Breakfast at Lou’s Diner. Drive-in made to look like it was out of a movie. Movie no one ever saw. But it has all the makings like the rest of US. To be more than it is. Ordered a big breakfast to cur4b the knot in my throat. The coffee wasn’t enough and now I have to have more. Spending money that isn’t mine. And my sweet Suzi is so giving. Spoke last night about life and nothing.
Eating sausage and bacon. Tasting my American air with it. How perfect. So far from me. How did I get this far away? Growing up on the stuff and other nonsense. Twenty years later they make it ready to serve as though someone peaked into or onto the counter on which I ate. I loved dipping the sausage and bacon into the pancake syrup. Now (they) actually have the gaul to manufacture and package the stuff with real syrup (flavor) already included. It’s all so ridiculous. I live in ridicule. Of myself for the choices I’ve made. It’s everywhere and so dominant. Perpetuate. That’s the new buzzword.
I don’t know if this feeling is jetlag or chronic disgust. As though my body is finally starting to leave and the long process to death is just like this. What would Bukowski do? Kick his girlfriend? He’d have a drink or hit of his mescaline. Which is more important? I need to go somewhere–where I can find myself and finally become one with this (inner) poverty (I’ve made for myself). Suzi, my little savior, will not understand. But she is my Tennesse Williams’ “Stranger” that I so rely on. She is too sweet, maybe, to be Blanche, and certainly deserving of better. Have I led her to the wrong place?
Ask crazy man, what are the events or actions that will prevent the collapse of civilization? Let’s see the list, shall we?
- severe cutbacks of human population
- the cessation or retardation of technological and economic growth (on purpose, dontcha know).
- the elimination of meat in the human diet (seriously?)
- strict control of future human reproduction
- a total (complete) commitment to preserving the environment
- colonial-isation (?) of space
- a paradigm shift in the evolutionary consciousness of men
Look up: MK-NAOMI, a CIA project about AIDS. Cooper writes that Dr. Timothy Leary worked for CIA introducing drugs to American youth culture.