Reality. Whatever that is. Nomatter. It’s too exhausting. Obviously. That’s why so many have bit and can stop biting in the meat of GRIEVENCE SENTIMENT and BELONGING. The new mantra. But it’s still exhausting. No wonder so many fall for it. It shouldn’t be that way. Stop.
A (in)famous (extreme) approaches the finish line ahead of all trailers. But at the moment he is about to cross the line he stops. He refuses to cross. What to do in a world where everyone only wants to cross that line. More people on the planet need to be just like (in)famous (extreme). Stop.
There is survival but there are no survivors. Gravity. What is it? It is something to grab on to. You can touch it. Gravity. Particle or wave? Who cares? What is it that can oppose gravity? Or, better, if gravity causes us all, always, to full down, what then can cause us to fall up? Answer: water. Why does water cause us to counter gravity? We being the counter? What is the counter? Stop.
What is the difference between invention and creation? Scratch that. Have something “better” to do. I have once again returned to the Ausländerbehörde. Waiting. What to do about things summarized in a word but only explainable by demonstration? Example? Get examples of words for happiness. -Need to get three month Gehaltsabrechnung for the civil servants not serving me.
Practice makes perfect. But what about history? Haven’t we been practicing long enough? What’s really gong on? I feel physically deprived most likely due to the fact my organism is kaputt. Nothing to do with history, though… Still I must find a way to practice. My heart is so heavy right now. It’s never felt like this. My heart is playing back what’s going on in my head. Sonically. I mean what’s going on in my soul. I am the egg in a wok of fried… I am disgusted with the things I say but at least not with the things I do. Unlike the mother’s, sisters, wives.
Each day passes the past. The fight hangs-on and gets tougher. Life (fails) to weed-out the riff-raff. It’s weeding me out. What I cannot understand is the acceptance. The pure and unadulterated indifference that existence is set in this track, path, and there is no shoulder. But is there enough connection out there today to wish (my) death. I mean, really wish, (my) (un)death. Or at trip to the pub paid for by advert sponsors or old women who haven’t lost everything. Not some silly hate or loathing, btw. A real wish. Just like the one from the old lady. The perfection (of the imperfectin) of the audience questioned by Pilate. The damage I have done becomes becomes more and more clear. It’s as though I have caused my future to crumble before my eyes. When the crumbling begins you don’t notice it. You only notice the crumble. It goes on for years. Then, one day, you start to look at your self–usually caused by a reflection or a child–and you see the nakedness appearing from behind what has been chipped away. There are those who see this and those who do not. The artist, I fear to admit, is the only one to really grasp this. S/He lays well with friends or foes in an attempt to over this duel.
Have not yet found a way to dance (romance) my/the sorrow. And so. Vulcanisation is amazing and so too are fries, cool, but are both and thrice reversible? Cherub Rock, the Smashing Pumpkins have left me. Heard that song too much. Confused. Made me thing of plastic plus polymer plus sulphur. Then burn something without charring it. Burn it without destroying it.
The greatest artist ever was the guy who drew the first stick-man.
America is manufactured by the lowest bidder.
LOP. Again. Anonymous. One of the rules (character name here) tells (character name here) is to not ask personal questions because there is no personal, there is literally no life. The whole shebang is a joke stuck in a lie that is the ether. Otherwise. (Character) tells (other character) to go fuck off and to find his names and addresses from some other schmuck.
A (man) should only improve
from on his mistake. A woman, on the other hand… When a man makes a mistake he can and should improve on it. But what of a woman? Is this the pay-back men get from so many (insert time here) of feminine frustration? And so I ask: are we the cause of their frustration? It can only be something bigger, something with more meaning. The (modern) woman certainly proves the theory (mythology or theology) that woman stems from a man’s rib. That’s why she’s a burden. Must be carried. But I’m proven wrong everyday with my Neanderthal mind, that my Neanderthal mind is just that. Ate too many ribs, I guess. I am now my only last (german word). For. Feigning ignorance I am. The assumptions I make. When is meaning canceled? When is what is spoken null and void? When is irony the norm and the norm obsolete?
Human emotions. The indian (India) have numerous ways to describe happiness, whereas we, western civilisation, have (very) few ways. Find the ways. Write them down. Promote them as a competitor to the Bible. Use language. Unusual language. Un-understandable language. Make up new bloody words. Shyexcitment. Disdantdrone. Presblackanance. If not, so not. The word can pink. Find other English phrases or words that we have to use to describe excitement and/or happiness. Reverse them. Rid them. Ooduck. without the G L.
Love not without passion. Should? German women, men? Know no passion?
And so the character differences in humanity stem from love? Today another odd one. Burial of Karl Heinz. Husband to better-halves sister. Schwager. Watching, observing, as usual, the Germanins and their rituals. They are all one. One for all. How should I join such a club? Even if it were allowed?
LOP. Letter of Proposal. A silly title for a book, I know. Nomatter. The premise of (main character) meeting (another character) at (random airport) to change. The other (main) motivating factor for him to go to (another random airport) with (another character) is the “job” offer to drive car from coast to coast. (Main character) has no clue what waits him. The anonymous people! This is where/how the issue of good & evil melt. (Other character)’s family is also split, like the whole of American’t, but they have recognised the enemy. The civil servants and the politicians. Anonymous as they get. Put them on a pedestal and watch them fly. Or the one making the drive-car request. Stop
Are you bored enough now, Tommi? You’ve got to be kidding. Because you have nothing to say about a book you’ve been working on for years doesn’t mean you have to write shit like this down. The above is krapp. Scrap it. And scrap the compulsion to write if that’s all you can come up with.
Another solution? LOP. The reason (character) drives across US (from San Fran) is NOT to just bring car somewhere but also to pick up someone. The anonymous people who live in America. Either those born there but never registered or those smuggled in and never registered. (Character) (Stone) is given directions where to pick up who and when. The people will be waiting.
America has invented repressed civility. In this context is repressed unfree? Or do we have “free”, “mostly free”, “mostly unfree”? Repressed. The titles of modern life as opposed to un-modern life.
From some of my recordings or otherwise known as transcripts from/of my voice:
- two lanes is not a choice when you need ten
- the problem with advertising is that it’s become like or taken on a presence such as that of the human voice; the problem is, unlike a human, an ad voice cannot be deadened
- inherent in a woman’s truth of the lives she’s lived and therefore she could never tell another woman a truth–for example getting married, marriage, what women would ever tell another if that woman were married and divorced and in a miserable relationship what it really is/was that she went through–there is no way she could tell that truth–but I am not saying they (women) are born liars
- examples of dysfunction in society–if you watch traffic, how cars move and flow, one can easily see why, how the function or dysfunction of mobility was created first
- traffic in USA moves just like traffic in Germany; how come no one has ever used traffic as a metaphor for showing how/why things are as bad as they are?
- every-time I see/read advertising it’s pushed to me–what can I do about it? I guess I just have to wait. It can’t keep going on like this. Until others finally realise that it ain’t worth a shit
- the film (ineligible text)–mediocre but good German film
- I never had the pleasure of hitting a woman–probably because I’ve learned so often of the pleasure of hitting a man–and the pleasure factor is nothing if not something real, as in reality, but it’s is far from any truth or consequence of violence–mitigate your pleasure and … (keep it to yourself)
- about the (ineligible film)–good idear but boring and atypical umsetzung–what could have been about a boy was instead turned into being about a girl–that’s not special as is immaculate–what is interesting is the punishment dished out for the young woman’s–I mean girl’s–crime–she has to give service–and what service and does so at a home for the mentally impaired (retards)–I think the ineligible film is “Krokos”–but I’ve forgotten–does that say everything about the film from this critics perspective?
If there were only a way for the soul to find the body. What is the process? The process is there. Right there. Right in front of yours, dear worst-audience. It’s transcendental–or something like that. Metaphysical. It is a process. Not unlike… finding yourself. Or the quantum to the (what is it’s opposite–a word for relativity theory?) big picture world. Jaybe that’ll be the answer physicists eventually find. That things really aren’t as complicated as they seem. As science make them to be. (And) By understanding, going through the (a) process of acquiring knowledge, we (humanity) will eventually learn that the soul finding the body isn’t just a theory. It can be done if man tries, however minimally, to learn–because inherent in learning is the process.
How ’bout a story about men and women. Now that would be something new. A country is experiencing negative birthrate to the point of implosion. If things don’t change within only one generation the demise of the society (life) will be inevitable. So the society decides it must finally take matters into it’s own hands and promote… wait for it. Promote sex. (As opposed to the suppression of it.) How would society go about actually doing this? Import women. Reduce the amount of men so fewer men can spread more seed? Promote propagation. Annexing poor neighbour countries. And what to do when the women rebel? But what can they rebel against. It’ll never be a woman’s world. Why then are all the countries women not having enough children? According to studies there is enough promiscuity going on. You know, that hold hat trick. The answer also is not in having children at a later age. Gotta be young, a vibrant. Able to fuck. Able to promote the fuck. It’s the attitude that must be addressed. The bureaucrats. The B’s. Even the female B’s. Who is for the “import” of women? Annexing neighbours?
When did it start? The loss of romancing her. Must I conclude? The idear that is springing around in my head. It started with the film (ineligible). See previous note. My idear is that someone, somehow, get’s caught up in a crazy house. A place where retards are thought, considered to be… This place is also recognised, although it is privately funded, by the state–that is, it is considered to be experimental. Get it. Exper. I. Mental. A person has to go there as part of their payment to society for crimes committed. Part of rehabilitation. Is that the word? As the criminal is doing his/her requirement a certain reality sets in. The person, acting cocky and arrogant, meets his7her match. One, two, more, of the so-called crazies, turns the tide by
show revealing their truth to the person. They return the cocky and arrogant–give it back*. A PLAY about who is crazy in this world. What is crazy? What is normal, what is abnormal? Suddenly the two-bit hoodlum is caught up in a world that controls him, owns him, the stuff that turned him into a hoodlum. What a thing to suddenly wake up to. AND GET THIS. *They give it back when someone, form the institute, leaves the room. The petty thief (hoodlum) becomes one of them! And was he a thief? Perhaps the leader of the institute has one rule which he lives by. What is that rule if someone is put into his institute unfairly, unjustly? What if the tides are also turned on the evil, the founder of the institute? Where will it all lead? The crazy leading the crazy. Take turns at crazy. Where will it all end? Is there a speck of originality?
Stop. Move on.
Speaking of which.
Is a beautiful woman original? Of course not. Beauty is never original. Just like ugliness. Which one is there more of? Not in this constellation. The stars are aligned because of the dark matter. What is the dark matter? Consider the solar system. Sun is our star and around it go blindly ten (yes, as of 2005 it’s ten) planets which are, unless reflected upon with light, dark. That’s a ratio of 9 to 1. What about all the aother stuff? Asteroid systems, comets, moons, etc.? Considering that, what does a constellation mean? “It’s not in the stars,” goes the saying. Oh yes, it is. You’re (I am) just a bumbling idiot. nature choice was never in the (a) constellation. Take that and blow out your pipe. And try, for gods sake, to move on.
Here some words from (I think) 2/03 on a lineless three by five card of which I do not know the origin. My only little reprint.
Rust of winter peeling from the tusk
It’s beginning, a leaf, buried still under Pale moments not convincing the wise man
Beyond his grasp he believes, like all others, what he sees
It is you that sends my winter away
You that I place a hope of somber wanting
I place the finger between us ascending to your command
Oh wise man
Let her be by me, let her in, I can let her in, I can love, and winter will pass
And she (you) will dance till summer ends
Our (this) somber wanting
What about products for mature people? The products whose producers laugh at customer service. What about those who cannot give in to the ultimate paradigm shift in this lie called capitalism? When the consumer takes over. Theoretically it must be possible. Like the Stones waiting till the end of the century to come out with a best of album. When all their music was a best of. I guess. Yet another trick in the capital bagsters rucksack. The consumer realises that to get ahead you have to be either one sloppy step ahead or one elegant step behind. Just ask the CEOs or Keith Richard. You know, nothing against the Stones, but what a great example of how the west can begin over-coming its ills. The consumer takes control by making the producer pay up–not just profit. So the world figures it should start with a Stones concert. Boycott it. Why? Because the follower (the gatherers) have organised and they’re going to start with the marketing. What better example of marketing than Mick and Keith and their world tours.
The reason the neo-cons do not want evolution, as opposed to creationism, is because evolution, to understand it, would cause people to (have to) think. Goodness forbid. How could they do that? People thinking.
It’s the everything or nothing game. Life, that is. That is, life. But I think mostly of the corporate world and their job adverts. And their jobs. The actual doing of the(ir) jobs. They want everything or nothing. Das Volk hide behind meaninglessness of “a career”. What they end up getting is the best they can make out of nothing.
The modern (German?) woman has industrialised love. She’s done so like her brethren have industrialised everything else. But love? Why love.
I could feel something softening in or around us as we kissed but I couldn’t quite tell what it was. Was it her or was it her IT? Yeah. That thing which has become the disenfranchised part of all women. They’ve lost connection with it due to all the mixed signals. Like wales running astray, their sonar stirred by the thousands of tracking devices and submarines pillaging the ocean with the wantonness of greed culture defending the(ir) lust for oil and such. Poor whales.
Youth is not about finding out who you are but covering up who you will become. I suppose it’s because it’s easier to lie when never thinking about the fact you’re gonna die.
What stars say when the marriage breaks. The Hollywood nightmare. “Am I lonely?” Yes. “Am I upset?” Yes. “Am I confused?” Yes. “Do I have days when I’ve thrown a little pity party for myself?” Absolutely. “But I’m also doing really well.”
Really? Really. What
an idiot mind would put this krapp in public? -Jennifer Aniston
See insert for more of stupid female bumblings of krapp from worst-writer. Jennifer Aniston would never talk about why she can’t keep a man. But she does say something about her (HER) not wanting children when her career is red hot. Wait. That’s not it. Try again.
There are so many things to remember. Some call it multi-tasking. Others say it’s about diversity. I say it’s nothing but confusion. But what else is there supposed to be? Walking charlie on a misty night ca make up for a lot of loss, or perhaps, losing those pounds I’ve been talking about for the past three years. None of it makes any sense because I can’t seem to handle so many things at once.
Girlfriends, for example. What a nightmare. I’ve concluded that they’ve developed some kind of system which enables them to cheat nature. It might be even a physical phenomenon. Men, ultimately, cannot cheat nature. That’s probably the reason we do war and rape and all the carnage that has made the world what it is today. But women. They can cheat nature because, and this hurts the most, they are nature.
The question is: is love a means or an end? In the context of the feminine (which I of course know nothing about) this is a fucking doozy. And since I do not know the answer to the question I have concluded that it doesn’t matter. What is important is to realise that there is a contrast to the singularity that is known as love. I must, in order to achieve anything with these common and unharmonious words, take a risk and assume that love, for women, is an end and for men it is a means.
Having said that. What then makes up the ‘means’? It is, conclusively, womanhood. Or the feminine. Hooters, will do. Pussy, a bit vulgar. Wet t-shirt contests. Confucius said a few years ago that it is the means that leads to an end. Confucius acquired such knowledge from a woman, I am sure. She is quite unaware of her powers–such ignorance is intentional. Set up by the… creator. Stop!
How to possess something. Let’s worst-write of the act. As is with the ills of matrimony. Especially of women. Wife. The female. What makes a man turn vicious to his wife? Are there cases that only make the husband look good? Cases where the wife has been abusive to him? See Nancy and Robert Kissel. Hong Kong. She said when questioned about data found where she was searching for info on the Interwebnets that she was searching for how to find info and not be found searching for info of how to kill someone. No. To kill herself. As the world turns.
See Genesis 9:27 (turns out this passage is totally irrelevant.
Must find something about the psycology of possessing. The ultimate possessing. -t
That’s what the sign said.
The artist as mafia crime killer! Doesn’t make sense. Yes, he really wanted to be an “artist” (paint, sculpt, write, etc.) but was too caught up in mafia kram. His name is not Guido. His “saying” is, you guessed it… F U. The playbill will tell the whole story. The movie poster will hang high. Higher. But what of the personality behind it? Nomatter.
Can an author give a pseudonym to his son?