What's The Big Deal

apple tax evasionIn a parallel universe far, far away there is a parallel Marie Antoinette, who is both a grand queen and a successful HR executive in a parallel corporation, yelling at the voter-pawns below her Chateau balcony made of mahogany, gold and Apple iPad aluminium scraps. While simultaneously practicing the skill of sucking golf balls thru a garden hose–you know, the skill required to keep a king as husband–she yells:

“Oh!” She waves her free hand in the air, lifting her swollen lips from the end of the hose. “I say… (short pause) to my human resources below…. (long pause), let them… (shorter pause than before), let them pay taxes and forget the cake.”

Of course, the italics is interpreted different ways in the parallel universe scholar circles. But most agree that she is referring to voter-pawns in a very condescending way. Go figure.

But seriously. What’s the big deal? A CEO has appeared before you. And not long ago another CEO appeared before you. Indeed. Wasn’t the whole BS a few years back about GE (2010?) not paying taxes enough? Or is the real issue that the united mistakes congress has to somehow show its voting-pawns that it’s actually doing something. To a voting-pawn it doesn’t matter here or there if what they are being shown is big crock of dodo pellets. But then again, the freak show the congress put up this month, licking the shaved mini coconuts of Steve Jobs Heir-Apparent and pseudo CEO Tim Cook, was embarrassing. It wasn’t embarrassing for Apple or the Mr. Rogers look-alike that Cook is (has become). No. It was yet again embarrassing for the voter-pawns. That’s right. Das dysfunctional Volk that believes to the core of its over stuffed bellies and lazy-boyz that it’s #1 has yet to actually realise that what Apple is doing, along with all the other globalised entities of the New World Silly Putty Order, is what voter-pawns have been voting for all their lives. The American’t political and economic machine is well greased these days. It is a well tuned V-8 that rolls on the fuel of laurels and it is perfect at taking advantage of idiotic voter-pawns. Yes. The machine told those voter-pawns things that made eyes cry, chests get pumped and emotions driven to new highs. The voter-pawns fell for it all hook-line-sinker and to this day no one has a clue about what has happened. But socialism and communism has been deflated… I mean: defeated. And so, bring mister metro-male, mister perfectly manicured CEO to the floor of the House of Representatives. Let him be praised, given a few tech service questions and then some more praise before the after hour party-worship begins. For it is the after-hour congressional party and only that party where any congressional dunce can make a direct inquiry regarding the keys and whereabouts of John Galt’s Gulch. Rule and govern on, suckers.

All worst-kidding aside. The big deal about Apple and any other corporation’s ability to off-shore money is that it achieves more than paying fewer taxes. It achieves putting the burden, i.e. the cost of a country on the shoulders of someone else. And so I wonder/think about the wars supposedly fought to protect Apple (and fucking Steve Jobs) so it can do what it does. And now the country sits around lavishing in austerity, a middle-class has been purged and will never again have what has been stolen from it. But does anyone care about that complexity? Hell no, mothafucka. Now get yo dirty stickin paws off my iPhone.

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Rant on.