Today’s prediction, dear worst-reader, has to do with the extinct Germania snow leopard, spies and Germany finally stepping up to face the worldly role it has so gallantly been avoiding for the past twenty years. The Germania snow leopard was an animal that for a brief time in its history stalked the grounds between Kölnia and Düsseldorfia. This animal was used and abused by the Plebija–an elite group of assassin slash custom agents working for various corrupt customs officials–as a means of controlling the Rhine River. A very small cat-like creature, it was hidden in the dresses of desirable daughters so that when custom officials would demand a peek at what is hidden in those dresses, the docile animal, that sleeps nomatter what goes on around it, would cause such a shriek by the corrupt customs agent, that the daughter would be let go immediately–and most importantly she would be let go unchecked. It is rumored that some of the agents tried to question contents of well-off Germania girls but the issue was eventually let go because most of the officials were beheaded with a crude prototype guillotine-like device that would eventually find its glory in other revolutionary activity in Eurowasteland pre-twentieth century pre-world-wars. Which brings me to the (un)joke of this post. I, dear worst-reader, sincerely do get a kick out of what’s been going on between my beloved American’t and my host expat country Germania. You know, the silly spying thing. For you see, there is a well-endowed paranoia in Germania these days. Where that paranoia comes from can be seen with any brief look into recent Germania history. So I won’t bother with that here. Just let it be worst-said, spying in modern-day Germania is something not to be frowned upon. That is, it is taken very seriously. So serious, in fact, that spying is one of the unspoken laws of the guttural nation state and practical annexed business center for The West. In fact, spying is required by all Germanin citizens that have a soluble bank account. I mean. Come on. If Germanins couldn’t spy on one another where would the country be today? At the least, where would lawyers and government bureaucrats be today? Without every Germanin telling on other Germanins the society would be torn to shreds within seconds, resorting back to its hedonistic, neanderthal founding. Hence the old saying, In Deutschland ist jeder Deutsche ein Polizist aber gibts nicht weiter. But. Please. Allow me to get on to my prediction of the day. I predict, dear worst-reader, according to the public display of Germanias so-called elected officials, all of whom are trying to save face or be exposed as the puppets of American’t that they all are, will utilize the current “spy” scandals as a means to grant Edward Snowden asylum in the near future. The Germanins, again, trying to save face because it has come to light that all they do and say is being watched and recorded, will require not only that all American’t CIA spies leave but that America garantee Snowden that when he arrives in Berlin it will not be required to extradite him. For you see, here is the part where Germania tries to step-up and face its worldly responsibilities. Germania has its own spying problem which is best understood if one can understand the implications of incest on biology. The spying that makes Germania exist has to thin-out (or is it thick-up) its weakened blood supply. It needs ingenuity in its spying. It needs new spying blood. Snowden would be perfect for that. So. What do you say to that for a prediction? Nicht schlecht, na Schatz. Rant on.
Expulsion of Top Spy | DW English News
Wake Up Washington | DW English News
Germans Offer Olive Branch | DW English News