Transform This!

Meanwhile, farther up the literacy scale, many thousands of would-be writers display their tragically unrecognized wit and insight as movie critics, using mass distributed blogging software and mass produced computer hardware to illuminate mass distributed films (the prevailing assumption being that an audience, however small, is proof enough of authenticity and individuality.) -Deer Hunting For Jesus, Joe Bageant

With the above quote in mind, dear worst-reader, I saw the new Transformer (2014) movie last night. And to prepare for worst-writing something about it, I just googled “transformer girls”. Ok. I’m good now. Onward. What an awful movie. I mean it was really bad. How can someone like the guy staring in it even be called an actor? Just get anybody to wake up in the morn, give him/her this script and start filming. I’m afraid to even say his name. It was like watching a movie that was written and directed by a three year old who can program action scenes as though he just made them up in the room his nut-bag parents grounded him in. Unbelievable. But I paid so I guess I deserved it. Still. Hats off to the honest people who worked hard to make it–even the other actors who obviously gave all they have. I guess one or two Bay movies out of four ain’t bad. That’s right. Not afraid to admit it. I liked some of the other Transformers, especially the the first one.

Rant on.