Brat Bier Und Witz

“Die Behauptung kommt in die erste Zeile. Der Journalismus in der letzten Satz.”

Translation of above text: The statement comes in the first line. Journalism is in the last sentence. The moment the sketch (below) goes black and white I started to worry. For you see, dear worst-reader, there are things to be afraid of in this world–and one of them is most certainly Germans making fun of themselves (or in this case German news reporting) regarding yet another Eurowasteland crisis that no one seems to understand but obviously stems out of a not so distant history. Oh my. This is what happens when you take the funny out of Monty Python and feed it too much Bratwurst, Bier and these oh-so great days of absolute functional social market economics. (Sarcasm off.) Or something like that. Rant on.

Getting Old Is A Bitch

Started The Atlantic article but was quickly bored of it. Set it virtually aside in a to-read-later pouch on my iPad. But then was listening to a podcast while walking Groger, my half Doberman, half Pug killer puppy. The podcast reawakened my interest in The Atlantic article because, well, the podcaster was able to break through the stuff that originally bored me. So I started it again and realized, especially since I recently experienced someone close to me who died at 76, that there is a lot to be said about someone writing about wanting to die at 75. Obviously the arthur of this article makes a lot of scientific sense but ultimately generalizes about his premise, which is basically about how human beings should know when to call it quits after you’ve long passed your prime. But there is something else in the subtext of what is being addressed here. Turning 75 and surpassing the ability to be a creative and productive part of society is just another way of avoiding the reality that not only as a society but also as a culture the America experiment has failed. The reality is, getting old in America is now officially a BITCH. In other words, you wanna die old and comfortable in America? Then all you have to do is afford it! That worst-said, the one thing that bugs me about making such a scientific claim and thereby justifying a call to death outside of the realm of morality and ethics, is that the arthur of the Die At 75 article denies the choice of euthanasia as an alternative to old age and disease. I, for one, find that strange and reason enough to discount the arthur’s argument or, at best, consider it weak and biased. Or something like that. Just check out the links below for the point-counter-point of wanting to die at 75. And remember. It’s time to start thinking about death. Because it’s not only inevitable it’s now a part of (y)our consume-to-survive American’t dream. Yeah, baby.

Why I Hope to Die at 75 – The Atlantic.

Someone Is Wrong About Aging – Obviously?

Puzzled By Creation

“I think that I might have done well at banking had I not been so carefully trained to be either a priest nor a warrior. Although I have the Persian noble’s contempt for trade, I lack his passion for war and hunting and drinking to excess. Although I have a priest’s deep knowledge of religion, I am not certain what is true. Although I once heard the voice of the Wise Lord, I confess now in my old age that to hear and to listen are two different things. I am puzzled by creation.” -Gore Vidal, Creation – Book Six – The Passing of the Awesome Royal Glory.

The Bums Lost

man of the year.png

Can’t get a particular scene from the movie The Big Lebowski out of my head today. When The Dude confronts Lebowski about his carpet for the first time, at the end of the conversation, while The Dude is walking out of his office, Lebowski yells: “Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski. Condolences. The bums lost.” What Lebowski is referring to is the fact that he thinks (knows?) The Dude is a hippy and/or a liberal–at the least, The Dude is not a republican. Of course, what Lebowski thinks of The Dude is irrelevant. And. The Dude ends up scamming him anyway of one of his carpets. Of course, in the movie, it’s not real clear if The Dude is one of those bums. And this is where I’m confused today. What is the difference between the two parties that make up American’t these days? Is there clarity in trying to find a difference? Is the question even worth asking? The only thing that is clear from how the movie The Big Lebowski opens is that The Dude, according to the cowboy narrator at the beginning, is a lazy man. Are there lazy men in our political system? Nomatter. The scene described above rings in my head today because I might be a bit obsessed with American’t conservatism and how to explain that conservatism–and how it and it alone has put American’t in the situation it is currently in–to a three year old, i.e. the American’t population or the three people that read this worst-blog. Please keep in mind, when I say “conservative” I’m not picking political sides. They do not matter to me. Instead I wish to fully understand the ideology of conservatism because it is in that ideology all answers can be found. I’m sure of it. But how does one explain it? With the scene of a movie? Is there another analogy? I’m sure there are plenty of both but will I find one today before the bee struggling to get through my closed window either dies or succeeds? Or something like that.

Rant on.


The Few Who Would Not Play The Game

“Then these are the basic rules of a government in a free society: to provide a means whereby we can modify the rules, mediate differences among us on the meaning of the rules, and to enforce compliance with the rules on the part of those few who would otherwise not play the game.” -Milton Friedman, Government As Rule Maker and Umpire, Capitalism and Freedom Fortieth Anniversary Edition

The Art of Getting It Wrong

Nice try sassy-brit-boy. I mean. Seriously. When are people gonna wake up to all these British accents on American’t TV? Are they cute accents? Does the way this guy talk sound more convincing somehow? Nomatter. The thing to worst-remember about the vid-link below is how sassy-brit-boy gets only part of it right. For example. It’s not an issue of student debt being bigger than credit card debt and awwtoe-loan debt. Those debts would be higher if the consume part of consume-to-survive wasn’t put on hold in order to allow Empire to absorb the massive debts created by a country of greedy war mongers. That’s right, baby. American’t hasn’t even begun to pay for the Dubya war years (on account it has to first deal with the new century depression that he caused) which means the economy is pretty much on hold for the foreseeable future. So where is there still a chance to make money by lending money? Student loans, baby. So I guess that’s where sassy-brit-boy gets something right in his rant. Yet.  Maybe he should say more about the parents that elected the greedy war mongers and borrowed so much to buy their second or third house and pseudo yacht and, of course, co-signed for their prodigy’s higher education, etc. Oh well. It’s not about student loans surpassing other forms of atypical American’t debt. It’s also not about for-profit colleges that have found a way to take advantage of the system. (For that is the American’t way, baby!) Sassy-brit-boy’s rant should be: what will all these young people who graduate from colleges with diplomas and IOUs really bring to the world? And there is a precedent to answer that question. Just look at all the college grads running the show now. Good luck suckers. Rant on.

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Student Debt HBO – YouTube.

Is You Stupid

pug couchSecurity, security, security, privacy. Security, security, security, privacy. Selfies! And don’t forget the pictures your loving boyfriend took of you while you were preparing for a modeling gig or a movie and you just happened to be in the buff at that moment and not that sexy underwear from the company that should be paying you for what is about to happen and then forgetting to turn off automatic backup of your iCloud photos. Cause you’re about to be… Hacked. And so. Let me put this as best I can. Celebrities please get your shit together and realize that understanding the Cloud isn’t all that difficult. Also. Celebrities stop competing with all the other gurls cause your famous selfies take all the clicks away.

The good news? The hack of recent images of naked celebrities isn’t very sophisticated. The bad news? This probably won’t change the behavior of people who get their rocks off with vanity, narcissism, self-promotion and an undying need to fulfill basic male (also female) desires to see those we put on pedestals naked. But that’s neither here nor there. The thing that gets to me about this new “scandal” is the fact that no one can come up with an explanation of how the hack happened. Other than, as previously stated, it wasn’t very sophisticated. That is, the hacker didn’t pull all these photos with one dump, nor did he break any encryption code. Instead, it seems to have been done over time and by accessing the files of iCloud backups from iPhones which are automated by Apple and thereby taking advantage of something as simple as “did you forgot your password?”

To help you with this post, dear worst-reader, just keep this worst-thought in mind about protecting your data: If you have data that you want to keep private then don’t put it on a network. As of 2014 the Cloud is the network–and USB storage drives are dirt cheap at your local tech store. But here’s the real thing about the recent barrage of celebrity nakedness that has been presented to the world: so the fuck what! I mean, come on. Paris Hilton makes a vid jerking her boyfriend off and he cums in her face. And who’s the chick with the huge butt who also made amateur porn and now she’s all over every tabloid you can buy at every grocery store check-out counter where you have to fight off your kid’s desire for a snickers bar. The Pam and Tommi video? Oh heck, what about all the porn on the Internet? I have to admit, being male, I’ve seen some of that porn. The thing I quickly realized after seeing it, though, is that not only am I getting too old for that sort of thing, but the imagery distresses me, it makes me cringe what boys and girls are doing these days. What ever happened to a good old fashion fuck in bed, under the covers, lights out, good night? Oh. Wait. That’s not porn, is it? No. Now it’s all BDSM or DP or Cumpilation, etc. Wow!

Still. I am truly surprised at how the objectification of the human female could get any worse than super-8 films of the 70s. But I guess we need to thank networks or the grand Interwebnets for that. Indeed. Female objects are every where, they are at every click, every search, every search result–and the effect they have–just as porn effects–is now commonplace. I guess it’s as commonplace as the pharmaceuticals that keep the masses going. And what about the debt everyone seems to live for? And so. If you ask me, in these days of extremes, a privacy breach of celeb nakedness or not, something feels different about this throw-down of self-promotion that is working as well as the previous one. For that’s truly what this is all about, right worst-reader? It’s not about privacy. It’s not about Jennifer Lawrence and all her gorgeous glory. And it’s most certainly not about morality and ethical behavior.

But what the hell do I know. The most significant thing about this hack is the fact that no one really knows how the hacker pulled it off. Yet I’m sure they’ll eventually find him and he’ll get some jail time. Until then there are still some PCs and tablets out there that haven’t seen Jennifer Lawrence in all her gorgeous glory. But I think I already said that. Wow!


Actually We Know Nothing So Far | TechCrunch

Security Experts Are Gonna Give Us The Answer. Not. | The Guardian

Time For The World To Put Hand In Candy Jar | The Verge

Where Are The Answers | LA Times

If We Knew Anything | The Verge

Rant on.


Security Data Ukraine

black_redAnother contribution to the Interwebnets containing an email exchange with an old friend. At times this friend brings the best out of me but other times s/he does not. Nomatter. The point is to think, express those thoughts, get them down for re-reading and then figure out what drove worst-moi to write/contribute in the first place. Or something like that. Don’t forget, for proper chronology, start at the bottom. Good luck. Rant on.

Dear Old Friend,

The reason there cannot be a completely different/separate Interwebnet for, as you put it, B2B, is because the Interwebnet protocol is not there. Could someone invent it anew? Maybe. But at this point it’s irrelevant. The reason for that is the environment that gave way to the Interwebnet is gone. No one will take the financial risk to actually try to (re)invent it or duplicate it. And why should they? And don’t forget, the reason the Interwebnet is what it is–is because it is open, it is decentralized. Which also means, no one will ever be able to close it down, either. You might be able to shut parts of it down, by turning off electrical switches and servers, but that will only effect compartments (i.e. countries, phone networks, etc.) Like everybody else using it, businesses have been on a free-ride from the get-go if they use Interwebnet protocols and now that they are being called-out on it, by hackers, it’s too late for them to do anything about it. Hence, all the fear mongering for security is not about you and me being afraid–which is what I’ve never talked about–but about scaring the companies to either invest or buy into the security scam. That’s why the articles and graphs you read are all on sites like MarketWatch and WSJ–fear is the only thing keeping the “markets” going. Which brings me to your point about encryption. Encryption is not the answer. They’ve tried that. They tried it with DVDs, CDs, DRM, etc., and even the credit card swipe devices at Target and Wal-Mart. Encryption will work for the individual and things like email (remember I offered that we try it?) but for the data exchange that is required by the whole Interwebnet, encryption will be too complex to employ at the scale the Interwebnet operates. And get this! The powers-that-be DO NOT want total encryption. Government must ride the slippery slope of ideology and politics dictated by dollars, my friend. As I’m sure you’re aware. Full encryption would mean that government couldn’t monitor everything. And, yes, they (govt.) even monitor and spy on bank transactions. Remember, it’s not only about encrypting the data but also enabling encryption in both software and hardware for the entire Interwebnet. To do that you’re talking about a huge cost, mostly made up of man-hours–and with the level of globalization that we live in, there is no way people would be hired to fulfill the level of man-hours required to make it all happen. Just consider what all — ALLLLLLLL — router/modem manufacturers will have to do to put hardware encryption into their devices. Dude, it is so NOT going to happen. Not to mention the fact that hardware encryption is probably easier to break than software–just ask the the NSA about that. The way we use technology today was not invented by any one person or company–it has grown out of the magic of open-ness and decentralization. That cannot be cracked or broken or controlled.


Hey Worst-Writer,

The only thing I can say about the data on the Internet thing is that since I ran my company back in the 1990’s all business was moving that way. All B to B transactions have been on networks for much longer then the average consumer’s interaction with networks. Even if a completely separate network were established for BtoB channels, there are still hacks. There are hacks everywhere but there is no turning back. Everyone expects everything to be accessible. From travel to buying a scarf to looking up tax data or bank accounts. The access is expected and there.

From my perspective, the real technology would be in encryption. I may be wrong but I don’t think it would be hard for companies to pull from networks all but immediately necessary data. Then you massively encrypt all of it. Every log in would have to run algorithms to very or authenticate every “user” access. If someone wants to use a proxy etc. they don’t get access, plain and simple. The only people who get access are the ones that pass a set of protocols and after that, what they can access is limited. Archive data can be obtained but only through a series of proper protocols, which can all be automated… I mean everyone has processing power in their computers that would allow all of this. Internet connections would have to be more robust so places like developing countries and much of the US people would complain and have to find other solutions. But for the most part, It seems to me security should not be the problem it is but till now the approach to security has just not been taken a seriously as it should and what is called “security” is actually just “prevention of access” not true security. Anyway, that is my 2 cents.

I still don’t see the fear mongering cause I don’t know anybody, anybody, anybody who fears anything when it comes to credit card data etc. There is no privacy any more, everything everyone does is monitored and every savvy marketing company knows everything about you, your habits, health, location etc and I don’t know many complaining. There is no fear in security from a consumer perspective. Corporate’s need to do a better job but please tell me WHO benefits from SOME UNNAMED person spreading “fear” about security?

Your Friend

Dear Old Friend,

I can only continuing saying that the whole data-thing is a hoax. I don’t believe a word of it. Do with it what you will. What’s really going on is fear mongering. Fear-mongering to support an industry that thrives and earns on that fear because it’s easy to earn from. The first article I ever published, which was almost fifteen years ago, began with: if your business needs security don’t put your data on open networks. That might be a far cry away from the closed world of credit card fraud but the gist is the same. When I stopped working back in 2002 the only industry that could have potentially hired me was data security. Since then the whole idea of “risk management” has exploded, whether it’s about managing the risk of investment or the risk of a data security breach, the operation of such activity is the same. This is simply what happens when there’s no creativity left in the market, when all business runs on laurels, when everything has been marginalized to the hilt. Game over — so you better at least be secure. It’s all bullshit.

As far as the Ukraine… I think this is a test for Germany. I believe that Merkel has cut a deal with Russia/Putin that leaves the Ukrainians hanging but energy flowing–and the US has approved that deal (because internationally Obama is a few shy of a six-pack). The EU press, the German press and the pacified anti-war hippies are blowing this way out of proportion. Sure, people are dying, but when was that not the case in these countries since the collapse of the Soviet Union (or even before that)? Remember Yugoslavia or Hungary or Georgia? Those in the Ukraine that are “western” oriented have screwed themselves. They have chosen as their leaders people who are probably as brutal if not more-so than Putin. The oligarchs of Ukraine are gorillas, man. I read recently that it was probably one of those gorillas that shot down the Malaysian plane, he was the one who owned the Russian-made missiles capable of doing it–and the nutbags serving him actually thought they were shooting down a Russian spy plane because the pilots of that flight diverted their course to avoid flying over water (Malaysian airlines hasn’t had much luck recently flying over water!) and the guys running the missiles weren’t told that. Also, Ukrainians should have known that Putin wouldn’t allow their country to side with NATO–which is the ultimate threat to Russia, ain’t it? Just look at what happened to Georgia. I think the situation is dire for Ukraine but I don’t think this will turn Europe into pre-ww1 situation. Putin will probably contain this, probably with brute force, but in the end it will be contained. The EU is not going to war over this. Of course, it doesn’t help that the only significant contribution of Ukraine to EU are its ports for energy distribution from Russia.


Hey Worst-Writer,

Bloomberg is not fear mongering. This is not MSNBC or FOX this is Bloomberg and corporate america is literally under attack for data. The fact that card data is so prevalent that criminals only get a few cents to at most a couple dollars for every “live” card number shows that. The damage is to merchants not the consumer so this is not fear mongering. Nobody, I mean no individual I know is really afraid of it cause the banks and merchants take a hit not the consumer.

Anyway, my barrage of info on the subject is just to indicate how prevalent it is and how versatile the criminals are.

What the Fuck is up in Ukraine? They are up to like 3,000 dead. There is a fucking war going on there… The markets keep going higher and nobody seems to give a damn. It is real man, this is not Syria or Iraq or Lybia or Yemen… These are Ukrainians, people with real weapons, who know how to make them, not some fuckers who live in mud huts and have no technological means to product a damn microwave let alone weapons. These guys are part of the race of people who can do some real fucking damage when they go to war… It’s got to stop.

Your Friend

Dear Old Friend,

It is an interesting graph… if you like red on black.

So, do you think, because I’m a registered user of Evernote (but I never use the krapp), that that’s how the crooks got my German credit card number this summer and used it to try to buy stuff at a Canadian Target store when I was in Virginia, USA? Numbers that indicate that what-ever million user information was stolen means nothing in the context of these two graphs. If they listed what damage was done to individual card holders I might be interested. Otherwise, again, this is only fear mongering.


Hey Worst-Writer,

Look at this graphic:

Pretty amazing eh?

Your Friend

Examples Of Ignorance

It’s 2014–if you’ve forgotten. Or maybe you avoid the clock all the same. Nomatter, dear worst-reader. For today we have yet another example of American’t ignorance and how that ignorance rules/governs everything. Or maybe not. First. The situation. Or should I call it: Reality? Either way, in 2014 a huge chunk of America still has no decent Interwebnet connectivity. The fact that an even bigger chunk has inadequate connectivity we won’t address here. Yet who would have guessed that it takes a conservative politician–in this case a politician in the form of one of them republicans–to bring the good news (and I don’t mean religious) to someone’s ears. The politician is potentially seeing the light regarding the anti-competitive nature that is the US economy. Or maybe she only sees all the nutjob constituents who elected her and who might have woken up to the fact that the Interwebnets is important and it’s about time they get some. Or maybe not. The thing to keep in mind about this post and the link below is that if you look beyond the lines, get informed about what’s going on, etc., this is as good as it gets in 2014 as far as technology goes in America. Add to that the fact that there were and still are millions upon millions of Americans who would have gladly voted for the likes of Mitt Romney & Co.–who carries the conservative mantra that corporations are people and therefore should have the same inalienable rights as people–nomatter what the consequence–and that is exactly how the telecom company who is fighting the idear that a state municipality should supply its citizens Interwebnet connectivity because the corporation won’t… Well. Nuff said. Good luck suckers. Rant on.

How big telecom smothers city-run broadband | Center for Public Integrity.