As Time Doesn't Go By

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Two things this morn, dear worst-reader.

  1. There are the many who don’t know the Interwebnets.
  2. There are the few who don’t know the Interwebnet.

Let’s begin w/ the first, shall we? As a consume-to-survivor I made a major end of the year purchase on 29.12.14. It took worst-moi a few weeks to finally make the product choice but get there I did. I broke down and w/ a bit of Xmas and birthday funding I bought a new-fangled SSD for my rockin’ home server and all-around do-greater, my MacPro5,1. For those not in the know here on what an SSD is; here for a MacPro5,1.

As is the norm w/ most of today’s irrevocable consumption, choice is relative. That is, under the guise of “choice” we are made to believe that we can buy either A or B or C but in reality we can only buy A1 or A2 or A3. And that’s all fine & dandy. So. Once I made my “choice” there was that other hurdle to overcome in this, our new world order realm of digital delight: delivery time. This is where Amazon must join the ranks of one of those… don’t know the Interwebnets but thinks it does companies. Oh! Go the way of the dinosaur already sweet king-queen of digital shopping. And so.

The product I wanted to buy had a delivery date, due to ambiguous supply issues, of two weeks. And then there was the product Amazon was pushing that could have been delivered overnight. Indeed. According to test reports there was little to differentiate the two products. The only real difference was a $15 price and around 15 GB of storage space. Oddly, the one with more space was also the one that was cheaper. But. Again. It had a delivery time of two weeks. Since these products were already marked down, I didn’t want the one that was just cheaper. I wanted a brand and the extra disk space. But two weeks delivery?! Come on Amazon! Nomatter.

Worst-writer ordered the two week delivery–and in a way I did it both out of spite and stubbornness. Something inside me said that it’s not possible that Amazon requires two weeks delivery for a product like this. So what was up? In short, Amazon was pushing product A1 above A2, which is the one I wanted. How do I know this? Well, w/ in hours of my order I received an email that changed the delivery date of two weeks to two days. Which makes me question: how can it be that a company like Amazon, that is literally at the top of its game, push a product to a savvy customer that it must know knows better? The delivery date meant nothing to me. So why post a product with a delivery date that is obviously untrue and thereby give advantage to another product? Indeed. To a product I didn’t want anywho!

Again. Nomatter. For I am both worst-tickled and worst-excited to get my consumption faster than it was advertised. Yet I can’t help but pity the likes of Amazon. As far as I’m concerned, Amazon joins the rest of companies that can be categorized along side many other companies that… just doesn’t get what the Interwebnets is all about. Amazon is actually not as sophisticated as I once thought it should be. That may or may not be due to its inability to control the shipping process. But that’s neither here nor there. Which brings me (again) to the pic above–a screenshot from a website of a German grocery store chain. While promoting a happy new year the company is also telling its audience that it is incapable of displaying its open & close times on its website (for New Years aka Silvester). You see, dear worst-writer, in centralized, pseudo-socialized Germania, working hours during holiday season is a bitch. Not only do the Teutonic hordes enthrall and engorge themselves w/ consumption but they must do so with reduced (shopping) hours which only adds to the already stretched nervous system of worker-automatons jilted to the point of mind-thought annihilation. Which means, we have a bit of a quagmire regarding how the corporate over-lords should be using the Interwebnets. Obviously.

And so. Let us continue with the banality of everyday life that is a/our/the disease. I have provided these two examples today, dear worst-reader, of the grand digital over-lord Amazon and the not-so grand under-lord, Hit (another krappy German grocery retailer; and trust me, all retail chains in Germania are krappy!) in order that I may share first hand how my beloved Interwebnets is misunderstood. And mis-used! I mean, seriously, I can expect this krapp from Hit but not from Amazon.

Firworks Of The Sense

Unserer Öffnungszeiten an Silvester entnehmen Sie bitte dem Aushang ihrem Hit Markt

To Our Offering

Besides. The pic above wishes customers a Happy New Year and also commands that in order for worker-bees to find out what complicated business hours are available customers should first proceed to the individual stores where said hours will be posted–in analog. Wow! This, dear worst-reader, is how far the Interwebnet has come. They need (this) technology to do this krapp? To tell Das Volk to go to the store’s front door to get informed? Add to that Amazon’s inability to manage not so much the actual delivery process but more importantly the information pertaining to that process… Well. What can I/we say?

With that in mind. Let’s end 2014 with this post. And. Let’s also end it with an idear: there truly is no progress. And. Thanks Amazon. Thanks also to all other companies that will forever remain in the comfort realm of amateur websites. For I am with you’all. As worst-writer is also forever destined to remain in the realm of the/a/our amateur(ism).

Rant on.

-Tommi

Roller Rink of Mind

Heavens GateBack in the day, dear worst-reader. Back in the day. I’m referring mostly to the 80s and 90s when I still had it in me. In fact it was so in-me that I couldn’t get the idears out of me. It was truly all I could do at the time for I knew that the end was near. The career end, that is. Yes, indeed, it ended with the millennium. Yeah, like you, I was working for the man thinking I had a career but reality dictated that it was all just another hire and fire job. Even though these “jobs” had served me well, unlike you, I wouldn’t give up on that other thing in the front (as opposed to the back) of my head, that thing that lead me down every road born of imagination and lingering of a thick pudding-like ether of dreams. And. The only way to express it ALL was through something written, usually dialogue. And so. Sit down, Tommi, worst-write another play. Which I did. But I never did it enough. Because there are those plays that I didn’t right. Oddly, some of them are still with me. Of course, as we all know, being a failed playwright has it’s advantages. But I won’t get into that here. For what I want to get into has to do with a movie that I recently (re)saw but for the life of me can’t remember when I first saw it. Or can I? Certainly I did see it. I know I did. More than twenty-five years ago I saw this movie. Even though it was very controversial–because of its costs and criticism. Is Heaven’s Gate in hind-sight a film before its time? Or. Is this (worst-post) an example of losing one’s mind, as is the case when getting old? Nomatter.

The movie I recently (re)saw is called Heaven’s Gate. This movie is embedded in my mind’s eye because it contained something that I new was a seed. The seed, aka an idear for a play, was supposed to be about Feuds. Feuds in my beloved #americant. I wanted to write something about Hatfield and McCoy, Earp and Clanton, and the grand fight between Mr. Rich and Mr. Poor, etc. For moi, there was always something singular about these feuds, something that bound them all together. Right or wrong. Left and right. Conservative, Liberal. And, yes, Poor and Rich. The film Heaven’s Gate is about all those things, especially the last one. And I know I saw it at a screening at State University of So-n-so sometime between 1984-88. The for-profit-state-institution had a huge auditorium that served, depending on requirements, as a lecture hall, theatre or cinema and it was a grand convenience. One of the things I often attended there were lectures given by the prominent. Various elites would appear at this place. I saw actors (Richard Dryfuss, Graham Chapman, etc.), TV personalities (numerous famous journalist who need not be named) and sometimes politicians (Jessie Jackson, Michael Dukakis, etc.) But one time there was supposed to be a prominent personality there but he didn’t show. It was either Kris Kristofferson or Jeff Bridges. (I think it was Bridges that we were supposed to see because he was less of a star.) The prominent was supposed to give a short speech about… Gee, I don’t know. Being #americant or something like that and then his/her movie would be shown. Well, like I said. The prominent one didn’t show. But the movie did. And I remember it because it was like four or five hours long. I remember enjoying the movie but also taking a lot of breaks. I remember standing in the isle-ways of the seats in order to rest my butt from sitting for so long. And I remember half the audience leaving the hall to never return. And then I remember the seed. The seed this movie planted in my head. This seed would be planted from other films, as well. I’m referring to Dances With Wolves, Dr. Strangelove, etc. These were films that questioned the #americant ideal. The ideal of greed, authority, subjugation, etc. Oh yeah! It was a great movie.

Now, so many years later, while reading a über-winded tech-book on #americant business and technology, the film Heaven’s Gate was mentioned because of the triviality of having brought down a Hollywood studio, United Artists. This in turn distracted my reading and I immediately took advantage of modernity and streamed the film via iTunes. Supposedly this is a new release of the film, hence it was only just over three hours. But enjoy it I did. In fact, it reminded me of a seed that still remains–perhaps waiting for its code to click-on so the germination process that has been so dormant in worst-writer’s mind can give it a go once again. Or maybe not. Nomatter. The thing I wish to worst-convey today is nothing more than elation regarding a wonderful film. A film that depicts the true heart and spirit of #americant–as negative and positive as that heart and spirit can be. And after seeing it again and realising what has become of my home, the place that raised me, I laugh. Indeed. #americant is in ruin because of empire, war-mongering, greed-society and our inability to transcend feud(alism). Heaven’s Gate is a movie that depicts #americant at the turn of the century. Or should I say that Michael Cimino depicts it all? In a way, during that turn of the century, a seed was also planted. A seed that would lead to the #americant century–the 20th century. Heaven’s Gate is a film that every #americant should see and then be required to write a short essay on and turn that essay into shit-for-brains teacher at bat-out-of-hell school for the mind-blind. Perhaps then, after all the worst-writing, enough Volk will realise the ills of our ways. Or maybe they’ll just see the beauty of something that has been misunderstood for so long.

Rant on.

-Tommi

The Masters of the Switches

master switch cover

Why is it, dear worst-reader, that the older I get the easier it is to distract me? I mean, it happens all the time. When I’m walking Beckett, the killer pug, I lose focus of the little guy whenever any female passes by in a pair of jeans. When I’m putting up a Xmas tree, hanging those obnoxious bells and whistles, I think more about the Mustang I’ll never afford myself. And then there are the moments, while reading what should be a great book, that has been on my reading list for a long time, I’m taken away from it because the author references an old movie that I swear I saw once but according to the distracting research I do regarding that movie, I suddenly can’t remember if I actually did see it. This was so distracting in fact, that I took a break from the book and found the movie on iTunes to watch (again). And while watching this three hour piece of movie making magic I was totally distracted by the thought that, even though, according to Wiki and various other sources, which all claim that the movie was only recently made available to the public on DVD, I thought: but I saw this movie way back in the mid 80s. Didn’t I?

Distraction.

The movie is called Heaven’s Gate. According to Tim Wu, the author of the book The Master Switch, which, after numerous interruptions and distractions I just finished, the movie is the reason for one of Hollywood’s greatest film studio failures. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m just perturbed by the fact that I can’t remember with enough exactitude where and when I saw this movie. For after (re)watching it the other night I’m sure more than ever I saw it before. And allow me to say this distracting thing about that movie: this second viewing left me more in awe than the first. But when did I first see it? Come on. Come on. Think! It was either a screening at my University cinema in 1985 or on VHS in the early nineties while researching a subject for a play that I would never write. So I broke away from the book that couldn’t keep my attention anyway and very much enjoyed watching a movie that everyone should see. A few more worst-thoughts on Heaven’s Gate here.

Back to the book.

Tim Wu uses the United Artist debacle of the 80s as an example of how and why vertically integrated industries fail. And I take issue with that. United Artist didn’t fail because of vertical integration. It failed because #americant hadn’t yet established the standard of credit/debt as the sole means of consuming to survive. Obviously that’s a bold statement and I’m too lazy to provide enough ammunition in this worst-post to battle Mr. Wu on the subject–because I actually do want to say a nice thing or three about his book. But allow me this: There is one very important thing that Wu misses while explaining how some companies die and/or fade away because of whatever strategies they employ to earn more money than god. If United Artist had access to credit in the 80s like film studios do today then the measly sum spent on Heaven’s Gate would have been a drop in the bucket. In other words, at the time the collusion of government and, let’s say the Federal Reserve and Wall Street banking, hadn’t yet been established. It took till the end of the nineties to get to that point–I suppose.

There’s actually a whole Wiki page on the issue of Film Finance. And keep in mind, the word “finance” today is synonymous with debt. Go figure.

mci cardBut I’m off subject. Again. Distracted. And so. Let’s worst-write further on Mr. Wu’s idear of Net Neutrality and the less coined Separation Principle, two nuggets that Wu does a great job addressing but I think fails to ram home. First. Let me say this about Net Neutrality: Bullshit. That’s what Net Neutrality has become in the short time since its coinage. And I’m really sorry for that.That there is a debate regarding how information flows through the Interwebnets is both disgusting and astonishing. I remember vividly the monopolistic abuse of AT&T in the 70s and 80s. I don’t know what I would have done in college without my MCI card that allowed me to use practically any phone anywhere at rates I could afford–all on lines provided by the previous evil Bell monopoly. That #americant allowed a company like MCI to be gobbled up by the very system that it broke up is, well… #AMERICANT. On top of that, it feels like, because of the complexity of technology, politicians and dysfunctional corporates elites have easily confused the debate by turning Net Neutrality into a stump when it could be a majestic tree. Not only that, #americant has murdered people because of the underlying truth that is Net Neutrality as a whole. One only has to look at what happened to Aaron Schwartz. As far as the Separation Principle goes, well, again, sounds great, makes sense, but how do you get stuff like this across to a public that uses the Interwebnets like it used to use girly magazines in teen-age tree houses?

With that bit of worst-non-sense, I digress. The Master Switch is a great read even though I was often taken aback with the amount of text Wu wastes on certain topics. That is not a criticism of his writing, though. He really does a great job of holding together what is essentially a huge and disparate amount of information. I say disparate because I do not believe that the telephone industry in anyway has anything to do with the advent of what the Interwebnets has become (is becoming). The technology behind this stuff is irrelevant because worst-writer believes that content will always be at least one step ahead of context. Put another worst-way, a sculpture or painter already knows her/his great work of art is in that block of rock or bare canvas. And so. I could have done without Wu’s narrative of #americant early 20th century monopolies–although the bit about how Hollywood was founded is a nugget I’ll keep with me forever. That said, I guess I wish Wu would have spent more time ramming more stuff down the throats of the powers-that-be who are re-monopolising everything and who are also currently lavishing in their ability to ruin life for the rest of us in the name of greed-limiting access to what should be free: information.

Rant on.

-Tommi

Amenities

“We are all civilised people, which means that we are all savages at heart but observing a few amenities of civilised behaviour. I am afraid that I observe fewer of these amenities than you do. Reason? My back is to the wall and has been to the wall for so long that the pressure of my back on the wall has started to crumble the plaster that covers the bricks and mortar.” -Forward to Sweet Birth of Youth, NYT, March 8, 1959, Tennessee Williams

Ms. Santa, Baby

ms santaLet us go there, dear worst-reader. Let us go the humbug way. For it is that time of year where gluttonous consumption can take a break from filling guts and oversized clothes via fast food counters. That gluttony can be replaced with children accidentally eating cheaply sewn button eyes of dolls and figurines and thereby helping the planet with over population. Or maybe not. My point in this worst-post and the ridiculous news that I read every day is this: have you ever heard of native-advertising? Well, don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it because here it is first hand. So if you believe that there is a woman in Massachusetts that paid-off Xmas lay-away items amounting to about $20k, then I bet you’ll soon be moving to your new waterfront property in south FL. Just keep in mind, $20k is a drop in the bucket compared to the advertising value this toy store gets from this kind of exposure. Just imagine how many of the gullibles and the suckers out there, hoping and preying, preying and hoping, that Ms. Santa Claus will give them something for nothing. Ah. The #americant way. Yeah, baby. Rant on.

A mystery woman paid off everyone’s layaway accounts at a Toys R Us – The Washington Post.

Hack-chu Gesundheit

“If everyone doesn’t see this movie, the terrorists win.” -from a shameless Hollywood promotional article here.

No. Seriously. This is a joke, right? I mean, this hack on Sony Pictures is a joke. If it’s not a joke, then it must be the weirdest promotion of a film ever. Right? (See link above.) Ok. If none of that is the case, then worst-writer is still gonna laugh his ass off about all this. Hi-larry-us doesn’t get much better, dear worst-reader. But let me move on now that I’ve wiped those laughing tears from my eyes. Sony is and has been a dinosaur corporation for as long as I can remember. What holds this company together is what holds all the world’s dinosaur companies together: the collusion of government and capital. If this company, like so many other companies, was left to compete in a free market, it would be long gone. The simple truth is, going back to the 1980s when Sony did its best to maintain a hold on its business, during a period when the Asian Tigers were on the march, it panicked. And I’ll go as far as to say that it never stopped panicking. Part of that panic was to diversify into things that ran counter to that which made it such a great post war company. Sony’s greatness came out of its unique and quintessentially Japanese culture. Unlike American and some (but not most) European companies, Japanese culture simply doesn’t adapt well to the Western mindset. Say what you will about the militant, stoic persona of the Japanese–and their history says enough about them as well. But when Sony, in its panic, diversified the way it did, it lost something that made it unique. Obviously Japanese ur-culture doesn’t mix well with speculative and manipulative minds that are in real-estate development, Hollywood studios and the insurance business. (Btw, insurance is one of Sony Corporations only profitable units today.) And so. What we are dealing with, dear worst-reader, is nothing more than a silly computer hack of a dysfunctional corporation–that can’t find a way to die. Plus this sort of hacking is starting to be grand trend. A gambling casino mogul was also hacked recently. And to be really, really honest. These hacks–like all hacks–reveal nothing more than what most rational, skeptical people already know–except, of course, without all the gritty details. Let the banality hack-gameshow begin. Now. Time to get back to tear-ridden laughter. Rant on.

Sheldon Adelson Hacked | Bloomberg Businessweek

Try To Disrupt The Downloads. Good luck! | re/code

Beg For Your Privacy | Gizmodo

Grovelling Weeny Gets Out Threatening Lawyers | Washington Post

Success Equals Failure

“In these times Success should be more appreciative of Fail. Unlike previous times, today, without the latter there can be no former. Or something like that.”

-Tommi

Swap Your En-Tities

debt freedomWorst-words of the day, dear worst-reader…

Prohibition Against Federal Government Bailout of Swap Entities

As stated here, Elizabeth Warren is a maverick. She is indeed doing her best to do something about something. But what is that something, dear worst-reader? Well, let’s give it a shot and try to tell what that something is. In short, it’s debt. #americant is awash–not unlike its awash in oil right now–in debt. It is the single most important thing that all #americants should be direly concerned about. I mean, it’s really, really, really kinda important. In fact, it’s so important that #americants should start thinking about who they are going to sell their children to when the debt-reaper comes calling. Have I made that clear? Hope so. Now. With that said, what the hell are “swap entities“? As you can tell from the links below, it’s pretty easy to say the words, but to explain what it is is a whole other story. But I’m going to try, only as worst-writer can, to do just that. A worst-simpler way. Ready? Here we go.

You are fucked!

How’s that? Simple enough? Does that about sum it up? I think it does. But incase you still don’t get it, I’ll just go ahead and worst-write about it a little more. Because I’m actually enjoying watching all this from 30k feet. Yeah, that’s about where I am. Way up there in the sky and there’s no clouds blocking this worst-view below me. And, dear worst-reader, it’s all quite entertaining–especially Elizabeth Warren. Now don’t get me wrong. I vote Democrat. I’m a liberal. I do not like the current iteration of Republicanism and I particularly despise political conservatism. Conservatism is the root of #americant. Also, to me, so-called libertarianism is just another word for coward. And as far as krapp like the tea-party is concerned… wow. Now. With that cleared up, why am I worst-laughing at Warren’s efforts?

The answer is simple. #americants are stupid. And the best thing about being stupid, you don’t even know it. #americants are so stupid that we can’t see through the bullshit a good-meaning senator spews forth. (And bless her humble soul for trying.) But I guess that’s all a-given–because #americants are destined to live out the remaining days of a waning empire in that grand old saying: ignorance is bliss. For you see, a swap entity is nothing more than debt. It could, under other circumstances, be somethings else. But right now, it’s just good old fashioned debt. The reason Wall Street and Jamie Dimon have pushed this new poison-pill–i.e. Prohibition Against Federal Government Bailout of Swap Entities–into the current spending bill, which basically finances the military for 2015, is that if it doesn’t, the stupid people that are just as much the cause of all problems as the banks, will go bust. It’s really that simple. But let me try and put it another way.

When the US government was called by Wall Street to bail out the entire system that crashed in 2007, basically what it did was cover all the debt-bets Wall Street had been doing for umpteen years. 2007 was just the culmination of #americants voting their idiocy since, gee, Ronald Reagan–the actor!–sold the country for a peanut to the elites–which of course the idiots loved him for. Of course, the grand savior, Bill Clinton, didn’t help the situation by NOT vetoing the conservative agenda that lead to the repeal of Glass-Steagall. But that’s neither here nor there. The point is, Wall Street, along with #americants, especially those who are perpetually in debt in order to consume-to-survive, are in this boat together. The question then is, when will it sink?

No. It won’t sink. Well. At least it won’t sink if Jamie Dimon gets his way. And this is where I have to go against Dems and Warren. Again, what is a swap entity? Yes, it is debt. But what kind of debt? Here’s where things get complicated. Let me try to put it this way. You have a container, something like a purse or bag or a box. This container is capable of holding parts of a financial balance sheet, you know, the asset and liability sides of doing business. Now. The business we’re worst-writing about here is the business of running a country. A country, for reasons well documented, that has lost most of what it used to be, i.e. manufacturing, productivity, innovation, etc. Since it lost so much it had to find other things to replace those losses. Since we already know that #americant is full of really, really stupid people, it’s then not difficult to understand that in order for #americant to replace its losses with something else, it would choose replacements not out of innovation but out of the past. Specifically, #americant has chosen to repeat history. More specifically, as of 2007, #americant is basically–financially speaking–where it was just prior to the Great Depression. Ironically this is where Glass-Steagall came from, which has since been repealed because of that which makes #americants so stupid: political conservatism. But I digress.

If your business is running a country that is based on financial speculation (real estate, stock market, interest rates, etc.) and everybody–EVERYBODY– has bought into the game, well, it’s then no wonder that when the debt-reaper comes calling, like it did in 2007, someone has to pay. Elizabeth Warren & Friends seem to think that Wall Street and the likes of Jamie Dimon should be the ones to pay. But the problem is, other than the amount of money they have, Wall Streeters are no different than Joe-Blow who owes on his second or third house and the yacht he bought with an equity loan or the numerous credit cards he has that are tapped out in revolving accounts s/he never pays off. Indeed, dear worst-reader. Everybody has to pay their debts. Now. Back to swap entities.

Most of #americants debt problems come from the fact that the only part of the balance sheet that is used today is the liability side. Hence, using some tricky-dicky-trickery, banks have been breaking up those liabilities and putting them into fancy containers, i.e. purses, boxes or “entities”. These containers are then bought and sold, traded and “swapped” among the financial go-getters–you know, all the fancy-pants nut-jobs that work for Wall Street who should really be used-car salesmen. For umpteen years now this level of debt trickery is what has held #americant together. It is the basis on which everything–EVERYTHING–functions. All the productivity that remains in the country functions because of debt trickery. For example. The only way big-budget, $100+m movies can get made is if a bond (another word for debt) is sold. The only way GM can pay its employees and suppliers is if it takes a loan, i.e. debt, to do so. And the list goes on. Of course, the saddest part about all this debt trickery, which Wall Street maintains, is that the debt #americants have accumulated for fighting wars of lies isn’t even on the debt charts yet. Go figure.

With all that in worst-mind. Good luck suckers.

Rant on.

-Tommi

Links:

What’s At Stake in Swaps Market | WSJ

E. Warren Rips Citigroup | HuffPost

Comedy, Ether and Cosby

mask comedy

Subtitle: The Opposite of Comedy Is Sexual Repression

There’s this thing about comedy that has lingered with me for a long time. I’ve often wasted a thought or three trying to figure out what it is. With some recent realizations/rationalisations, there might be worst-progress. For example. Is there something behind comedy? You know, something more than just laughter? Well, dear worst-reader, I hate to disappoint you. The answer is: there is not. I’ve reached this conclusion 1) because of the political satire shows on US television and 2) the recent inhuman and male debacle that Bill Cosby exemplifies. First. Let’s have a worst-glance at the political shows.

Believe it or not, shows like The Daily Show have supplanted real news in my beloved & missed #Americant. And that is worrisome. But here’s what really gets me about these shows and subsequently the(ir) comedy. What happens to comedy when the laughter is over? After the first few Daily Shows, which ultimately only mimicks European political satire, I thought: Ok; now what? In other worst-words, it bothers me that if I hear something funny and I know the humour was derived out of something profound, once the laughing stops, what happens to the profundity? (Wait. Forget that fact that such a question doesn’t even make sense.) I have to admit, the only comedy that has ever stayed with me is the stuff from George Carlin and Bill Hicks. Which brings me to the academia of the word “comedy”. Old Greek plays were called comedies yet they weren’t exactly funny. Ok. Nomatter. I won’t bore you with my lack of etymological knowledge. A better source for that is here. I guess what I’m not getting at is the idear that I think we need to find a new word for comedy. Or at least find a better word for the stuff that makes us laugh–that is also meaningless. Or maybe not. Either way, something gets lost in the world of comedy. I think that’s a shame. Moving on.

The second thing I want to cover today, dear worst-reader, is Bill Cosby. And how about a little bit of praise to get us started. I mean, I kinda grew-up with the man. I remember I SpyThe Bill Cosby Show and even various appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And then there’s Fat Albert. Fat Albert was the only show on US television in the 1970s that represented more or less exactly what I saw in the hell of suburban #ameircant along side with public schooling. Even though I never really liked his comedy–I preferred George Carlin, Richard Pryor and eventually Bill Hicks–I admired the simple fact that Cosby refused to resort to what was then termed “dirty language” just to get a laugh. Heck, even Eddie Murphy made fun of Cosby when Cosby tried to question Murphy’s use of language. But that’s neither here nor there. I mean. What the fcuk! That said. By the time the 1980s came around and his infamous The Cosby Show, Cosby was long lost to me. Again. Once the joke has been heard, the laugh is over, what’s left? I guess, for Cosby, like so many other Hollywood careerists, you gotta find a wave to ride on. Which Cosby obviously did. But there was something seriously disingenuous about The Cosby Show. That show truly gave me the creeps simply because it was so unreal. And I don’t mean it was unreal because of the race issue. That level of family life was just waaaaaaay out of touch, man. Again. Waaaaaaay to much. Indeed, dear worst-reader, it’s obviously not hard to put the lie of the #Americant dream in the boob-tube. This is proven by the wave of animated shows like The Simpsons and South Park–that only emulate what Cosby did and what All In The Family did before that. And so. For worst-moi, two questions remain: 1) Is there something more to comedy and 2) if there is something more does it have more redeemable value?

Speaking of value. (Or was I speaking of profundity?) Isn’t Bill Cosby one of the first TV producers to earn something like a billion dollars for a TV show? (Seinfeld being the second?) The thing about Cosby is this, as successful as The Cosby Show was–and it was very, very financially successful–I hate anything that propagates a lie. And here’s where I have to return to the idear that we need to find a new word for people who make a living being funny. Because humour, more than ever, is now based on a situation (aka situation comedy) that is no longer (intrinsically) funny. Is it possible that the modern industrial world is suffering from a kind of comedy burnout? (Or maybe I’ve just heard to much of it.) So I guess there’s a reason that comedy no longer has anything profound to say–but enough profitability to make fun (of everything). For one thing, turning something profound into something comedic probably takes a bit more effort–at the least it diminishes the issue at hand. Political satire shows, including family sitcoms–especially since the likes of All In The Family is inherently political–need to stop hiding their politics. I suppose that’s why, perhaps, they’ve all become something akin to slapstick. Indeed. Conservatism ain’t funny, eh! Or. Perhaps they would be just as good if put in silent picture mode. But don’t get me wrong. To me it’s rather transparent that most comedy is highly intelligent–it’s just not an intelligence that wants/needs to make people smarter–it only need to make money. Take the likes of CK Louis or Louis CK. Whatever his name is. Talk about products of an assembly line of comedy, don’t you know. What a waste of brain power, too. He’s like a one after the other comedian. For if, when, he falls, he need not be replaced because, well, there are thousands others waiting in the wings–just like him. Does this remind anyone (worst-reader) of what became of pop-music? Anywho. That’s why Bill Hicks is on my list of great comics? The assembly line hasn’t replaced him yet. Am I wrong. (Btw, here’s a list of comics that is kind of mind-boggling.)

And so. Once the joke is over, once you’ve stopped laughing, everything the comedian said fades into the ether. Unless, of course, said comedian can break thru the/his/her veneer. Again. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying in any way to promote my bitterness (about life) by just hacking away at great and financially successful person(as). One thing I’ve learned having failed as a writer is to respect those that pull it or anything off that entertains people. Great comedians, to me, are writers, dear worst-reader, but they are also writers whose work, due to chosen circumstance, sadly gets lost in the ether (of giggles galore). And for that I’m kinda sorry. Luckily I have a few examples of comedians that were able to break thru the ether. Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and my all time favourite George Carlin. To me, these writers… sorry. These comedians have been able to break thru that ether. And here’s the kicker of this worst-post. Bill Cosby, even though I don’t want to do it, must also be put on a great ether breaking list. The reason for that has nothing to do with his comedy, though. It has to do with the fact that this man is the embodiment of generations of sexually repressed American males who can only giggle but never really, truly laugh. And even though there is obviously nothing funny about Cosby’s demise, give credit where credit is due. At least, maybe, someone, somewhere, will learn something profound from Bill Cosby.

Rant on.

-Tommi

House of (Discrepancy) Cards

What do you do, dear worst-reader, when the only choice you have is to not sneeze in a house of cards where the air is filled with feathers and pepper dust? Yeah, baby. With that in mind, let’s worst-write today–after such a long hiatus of nothingnesss–about discrepancy and derivative trading. What is discrepancy? How ’bout this: An illogical or surprising lack of compatibility or similarity between two or more facts. What is derivative trading? For that I’ll just point you here. Ok. But all rational thought aside. Elizabeth Warren is a maverick–as opposed to false mavericks from places that can see Russia from backyards. And I admire her efforts in trying to do something about the run-amok banking system in my grand united mistakes of #americant. But there is a discrepancy that I must make note of regarding her efforts. While her intentions should/could be considered noble when it comes to reigning-in-the-banks and their abuses, for sometime now I’ve been advocating almost the polar opposite. That is, as she blames the banks for #americant ills, I blame Das Volk. And not just any Das Volk. We’re worst-talking about Das Volk that have practically perfected the false living standard of consuming-to-survive and doing so purely on credit and debt. Consume-to-survive has permeated every aspect of #americant life in the past 30(+) years–this, btw, is the sole difference to previous generations. Credit, debt and consumption has provided Das Volk everything it has today, i.e. living in a house of cards. Indeed. Das Volk have lapped it up since Reaganomics and the demonization of The Left. So here’s the turd for your blossom. In a way, or at least in a way that I worst-understand the financial trickery stemming out of Wall Street, Das Volk should be thankful that there are so many–dare I say–masterminds in lower Manhattan who are able to cope, albeit through trickery and deviousness, with the financial mess of consuming-to-survive that coincides with living beyond means. That said, dear worst-reader, I’m not against what Warren is doing. I’m just entertained–as you should be–by the frivolity of it all. For the only way to derive some kind of lifeline out of the death-debt that #americant has gotten itself into, is to NOT hinder derivative trading. Only in derivatives can the truth be hidden and thereby protect Das Volk from reality. And #americant loves that sort of thing. You know. Avoiding reality. So I guess the question is NOT about how much banks will earn through this type of trading but how long will they be able to continue this regressive depression that is really the only way of holding up a house of cards. Or something like that. Rant on. -tgs-

Stop the Republicans’ Wall Street giveaway | Elizabeth Warren for Senate

Interview With The Maverick |Rachel Maddow MSNBC