As Time Doesn't Go By

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Two things this morn, dear worst-reader.

  1. There are the many who don’t know the Interwebnets.
  2. There are the few who don’t know the Interwebnet.

Let’s begin w/ the first, shall we? As a consume-to-survivor I made a major end of the year purchase on 29.12.14. It took worst-moi a few weeks to finally make the product choice but get there I did. I broke down and w/ a bit of Xmas and birthday funding I bought a new-fangled SSD for my rockin’ home server and all-around do-greater, my MacPro5,1. For those not in the know here on what an SSD is; here for a MacPro5,1.

As is the norm w/ most of today’s irrevocable consumption, choice is relative. That is, under the guise of “choice” we are made to believe that we can buy either A or B or C but in reality we can only buy A1 or A2 or A3. And that’s all fine & dandy. So. Once I made my “choice” there was that other hurdle to overcome in this, our new world order realm of digital delight: delivery time. This is where Amazon must join the ranks of one of those… don’t know the Interwebnets but thinks it does companies. Oh! Go the way of the dinosaur already sweet king-queen of digital shopping. And so.

The product I wanted to buy had a delivery date, due to ambiguous supply issues, of two weeks. And then there was the product Amazon was pushing that could have been delivered overnight. Indeed. According to test reports there was little to differentiate the two products. The only real difference was a $15 price and around 15 GB of storage space. Oddly, the one with more space was also the one that was cheaper. But. Again. It had a delivery time of two weeks. Since these products were already marked down, I didn’t want the one that was just cheaper. I wanted a brand and the extra disk space. But two weeks delivery?! Come on Amazon! Nomatter.

Worst-writer ordered the two week delivery–and in a way I did it both out of spite and stubbornness. Something inside me said that it’s not possible that Amazon requires two weeks delivery for a product like this. So what was up? In short, Amazon was pushing product A1 above A2, which is the one I wanted. How do I know this? Well, w/ in hours of my order I received an email that changed the delivery date of two weeks to two days. Which makes me question: how can it be that a company like Amazon, that is literally at the top of its game, push a product to a savvy customer that it must know knows better? The delivery date meant nothing to me. So why post a product with a delivery date that is obviously untrue and thereby give advantage to another product? Indeed. To a product I didn’t want anywho!

Again. Nomatter. For I am both worst-tickled and worst-excited to get my consumption faster than it was advertised. Yet I can’t help but pity the likes of Amazon. As far as I’m concerned, Amazon joins the rest of companies that can be categorized along side many other companies that… just doesn’t get what the Interwebnets is all about. Amazon is actually not as sophisticated as I once thought it should be. That may or may not be due to its inability to control the shipping process. But that’s neither here nor there. Which brings me (again) to the pic above–a screenshot from a website of a German grocery store chain. While promoting a happy new year the company is also telling its audience that it is incapable of displaying its open & close times on its website (for New Years aka Silvester). You see, dear worst-writer, in centralized, pseudo-socialized Germania, working hours during holiday season is a bitch. Not only do the Teutonic hordes enthrall and engorge themselves w/ consumption but they must do so with reduced (shopping) hours which only adds to the already stretched nervous system of worker-automatons jilted to the point of mind-thought annihilation. Which means, we have a bit of a quagmire regarding how the corporate over-lords should be using the Interwebnets. Obviously.

And so. Let us continue with the banality of everyday life that is a/our/the disease. I have provided these two examples today, dear worst-reader, of the grand digital over-lord Amazon and the not-so grand under-lord, Hit (another krappy German grocery retailer; and trust me, all retail chains in Germania are krappy!) in order that I may share first hand how my beloved Interwebnets is misunderstood. And mis-used! I mean, seriously, I can expect this krapp from Hit but not from Amazon.

Firworks Of The Sense

Unserer Öffnungszeiten an Silvester entnehmen Sie bitte dem Aushang ihrem Hit Markt

To Our Offering

Besides. The pic above wishes customers a Happy New Year and also commands that in order for worker-bees to find out what complicated business hours are available customers should first proceed to the individual stores where said hours will be posted–in analog. Wow! This, dear worst-reader, is how far the Interwebnet has come. They need (this) technology to do this krapp? To tell Das Volk to go to the store’s front door to get informed? Add to that Amazon’s inability to manage not so much the actual delivery process but more importantly the information pertaining to that process… Well. What can I/we say?

With that in mind. Let’s end 2014 with this post. And. Let’s also end it with an idear: there truly is no progress. And. Thanks Amazon. Thanks also to all other companies that will forever remain in the comfort realm of amateur websites. For I am with you’all. As worst-writer is also forever destined to remain in the realm of the/a/our amateur(ism).

Rant on.

-Tommi