Conversation In The Mead Hall

There is a horde of people all in the same place, all saying the same things, all wearing the same stuff, all eating equivalence, etc. Equivalence tastes good, btw. But there are also levels of good. More on that in a sec. For most this place of samethingeverything would be the ultimate collective paradise or perhaps utopia. For expats, like worst-moi, this is a German resort club. It is one of many resort clubs that fill the Fernweh need of Das Volk and also provide an adequate amount of entertainment that an otherwise diligent/assiduous/hardworking people could not get back home. This offering of relaxation-industry, btw, comes from the fact that Germans don’t really have a country where they can just kick back, pop open a can and head down to the local Disney World. No. Indeed. Germanin need to get out from underneath the machine of the country they have built. They need to expose their organs, a few times a year, to the other workings of this planet that isn’t about chemical factories, auto industry, Autobahn mismanagement, etc. And so. I feel obliged every so often to come to these artificial places that fulfill such a collective need so that I may sit in collective dinner halls, perhaps not unlike, as the Romans would have put it back in 67.5 B.C., with the teutonic barbarians of the past who did the same thing in their mead halls, and get me fill of–having gone native. Going native, btw, is a termed used by nationalists of whatever nation to describe expats who have turned, who have jumped ship, who have left the nest for another nest, etc. Going native is not as simple a concept as it once was, though. Back in the day, don’t you know, when Henry Miller did it, and before globalization turned the western world into a milling shop where most humans are scrap wood, going native meant just taking a wife from the country you went to. Ok. Maybe it also meant learning the language. But today, again, due to globalization, it can’t mean that anymore. For one thing, it can’t mean that because there are so many people that are forced to leave their countries because those countries have so perfectly commoditized opportunity. Yes. Good old-fashioned opportunity. What happened to it dear worst-reader? Did it leave me or did I leave it? Did it go to that great relaxation resort in the sky where “good” doesn’t have levels anymore? You know, where good is simply as good as it gets–because excellent just isn’t in the cards at this price category? Obviously I don’t know the answer to any of that. But I do know that good cooking at these Germanin resorts differs greatly and with this visit, in this little corner of a Spanish island, this level of good is hard to beat. I have completely fallen for the olives here. I can’t stop eating them. The oranges too. They’re both like fruits of the gods–compared to the stuff we can get back in Colonia. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know where to get good stuff. It’s always a drive or three away but get I can. Yet when we come to a place like this and all I want to do is eat the olives and devour the oranges… Nomatter. I have gone native and that’s ok. There is no turning back for me after this past quarter of a century. I have learned to live with my decisions. But something always happens when I’m exposed to those natives in an intensive way. Something clicks in me and suddenly everything in the dinner hall starts to turn, romp and rumble. 

Conversations in the Germanin mead hall on a Spanish island in the Mediterranean while taking a quick, extended weekend from industrialized hell that is the Colonia Bay.

Scene: Dinner (in the mead hall). Hundreds of real natives gather to fill their bellies with all-included chow and drink. There are no seat assignments so it’s come early, first serve. Who sits with you at these tables is left up to the Thor god or any other Germanic deity or the amount of seating made available. Two middle-aged women decide to join us after having broke the ice the day before at lunch in the same hall. One of the ladies brings a part of the newspaper she was reading before dinner. The article in the newspaper obviously caught her attention. Conversation ensues. 

Germanin 1: I just finished this article.

Tommi: What’s it about.

Germanin 1: That guy who murdered a hundred people while he worked at a hospital.

Tommi: Oh yeah. I heard about that guy. Why would he do something like that?

Germanin 1: That’s the thing, isn’t it? Why would anyone do something like that? For the the heavens I do not know. But this reminds me of why people with any sort of power need to be checked. 

Tommi: Power? He was a nurse. Didn’t he think he was putting people out of their misery?

Germanin 1: You see, that’s it. People believed that. But I just finished reading that this guy did it because he wanted the attention. 

Tommi: The attention?

Germanin 2: Yeah. And there is a power a person like that has over a whole family. 

Germanin 1: The people get sick and are made to think that the system will make them well, or at least make them healthy, and what happens? A nurse comes around who sees how these families react to the staff that work at these hospitals and thinks that he can do more than just help the sick. 

Germanin 2: Can you believe that?

Tommi: He’s nutbag. We have them all over the place in the US. There was this guy called Doctor Death. Kevorkian was his name. He got his kicks helping people die. 

Germanin 2: Yes. I heard of him. But he was assisting people that wanted to die.

Tommi: Oh yeah. I guess you’re right.

Germanin 1: There is a big difference, you know. This guy was about power, I tell you. He was after something else. Something else. 

Tommi: What something else?

Germanin 1: It reminds of the power priests have. You know. The priest pedophiles. They have a power over the powerless, don’t they? 

Germanin 2: And that’s where this guy was heading. He wanted to be powerful over others. 

Tommi: Are you sure about that? Sounds like a just another nutbag to me. Remember those two guys in Germany a few years back when the one guy wanted to be eaten by the other? And it really happened? 

Germanin 2: Yes. I remember that.

Tommi: I mean, that really happened. Nutbags, I tell you.

Full stop for now.

Long story short. Three other people got up and left us. We thought they were refilling their plates with food. But they never returned. I wonder why. 

Good conversation. 

Rant on. -Tommi

Tossing Crumpled Up Bills

crumpled currencyThe simple things that give pleasure. Fresh air. New pair of sneakers. The first sips of red wine. Convinced just the tip is in. Working on an old swiss typewriter. Crumpling currency and throwing it at people. Etc. Yeah. That’s about where worst-writer is these days. Pleasures beyond comprehension abound. In fact, these pleasures are so few and far between that I’ve not found the time or motivation to worst-write about them. Does that then make them über-great? Or does it diminish them to where they really belong? At the side of my broken sword? To the left of my jaundice teeth? Atop the skilled skillet of the Japanese cook inside me who can never come out because he’s afraid of eating the fresh worms that are inside us all because we are designated to spending eternity rotting in a casket? Which brings me to this worst-point: that’s why I’m getting cremated. ¶As usual, I’ve lost my way. But that’s what happens when writers for the famed The New Yorker write too many words about too little. The idear behind recent article where a reporter was able to get inside Apple’s design studio (and report on it) thrilled me. Who-ha! Even though I’m clueless to the innards of industrial design–and for the most part could careless about it–because it really should be the unspoken and hidden part of industry (just like no one needs to know how sausage is made)–I was looking forward to this article. The worst-fact is, dear worst-reader, ever since reading that silly book that was supposed to be a biography about Steve Jobs, I’ve been hoping and waiting for someone to come out with the definitive work about something other than distortion fields. Behold! I’m still waiting. ¶That said. What an article this one is (see below). It reads like a friggin book–is almost as long as one, too. And after the first few paragraphs I knew that I was in for… a disappointing treat. The only thing this article did for me was remind how Apple really makes me feel. The richest, most successful company this side of Neptune, makes me feel no different then when I’m standing next to a cow on a Nordfriesische Inseln and she takes a huge grass laden dump and all I can think about is that I forgot to put on my Burberry galoshes. I mean. Come on. Let’s stop waxing distortion field here. Obviously there is little to be said about Apple’s success. All one has to do is count the money. The company is so friggin’ successful, in fact, that it’s boring to talk about it. And not only that–but the company itself is a bore. And you must trust me here–I know what I’m talking about. Just check out this post. ¶Obviously I’m an Apple-fan-boy. Other than a short stint ten years ago where I worked for the man and had to use a PC, I’ve been using Apple equipment most of my personal and professional life. But don’t misunderstand. I do not choose to use Apple because a PC is a lesser device. I use Apple because, of all the krapp technology that we have to live with, it’s simply the best of the worst. To me, that’s a pretty low bar and should put Apple’s current success in perspective. If that doesn’t put it in perspective then allow me to offer this. ¶Apple’s real success, which is based on financials only, has less to do with its hardware and software than its ability to make the digital age accessible to everybody who wants and can afford it. This is exactly where Microsoft & Co. failed. This is exactly where Nokia failed. And it is also where Samsung, along with Google/Android, are also struggling. Simply put, iOS and the hardware it runs on is the only magic that’s happened in the tech world since the advent of the Internet itself. The PC world was never going to get more users than it had because of the inaccessibility, stubbornness and greed of the Intel/Microsoft cabal. Steve Jobs, either knowingly or unknowingly, saw through this. And that is his only true genius. The iPhone and the iPad and the corresponding closed eco-system that feeds practically every digital wish one could have and thereby providing Apple at the same time a thirty-percent cut on every purchase, is without doubt an f’n tech-age miracle. Because of this little twist that Jobs’ was able to pull-off in the tech world–i.e. making hardware and software irrelevant, instead making the user experience at a reasonable price the focus–Apple today could buy Microsoft and Intel outright and still have plenty left in its offshore bank accounts. Wow. ¶With that in mind, who gives a tinkers shit about Jonathan Ive! Seriously. What a pretentious little brit shit-bag this guy must be. And the whole friggin’ world is swooning over him because he knows how to round corners on a smart phone? Or is it because he knows the real way to say alew-minimum? No. It’s none of the above. Everybody is swooning over him because Apple has figured out a way to get gullible and deep pocketed buyers of iPhones–who usually only pay a fraction of the price of that device upon purchase because they buy them on subsidised contracts with cell phone carriers–to pay at least $350 more to attach a watch to it? Which this guy designed? Are you friggin’ serious? The iPhone is the reason I haven’t worn a watch in five years. And this pretentious shit is gonna make me want one again? ¶I stopped reading the article around part III–but wanted to stop mid Part II. Just like most stuff written about a company that has the financial means to control the solar system, this article is full of all the nothingness that only a fancy-pants from New York can write. Nothing new. Nothing real. Nothing worth reading. But then again, maybe it is interesting to hear about a Brit living in the US who still drives shitty British cars. ¶Which brings me to the premise of this worst-post, dear worst-reader. There are some simple pleasures in life that are worth worst-writing about. One of them is the desire motivated by others who consider themselves to be part of greatness when in reality they are nothing but riders on the storm. As I said, I’m an Apple fanboy. But that doesn’t mean I love this company. For one thing, I never buy Apple products new; the best way to buy them is used or refurbished. Second, their OS upgrade policies are horrific and there should be a law against making perfectly good hardware obsolete before its time (not to mention what an environmental waste such corporate policies are). In fact, I never thought I’d wish Apple would go back to charging money for its OS because at least that way we (users) could hold them responsible. And last but not least. I hate Apple Stores. I have yet to go into one and actually get some help. These stores are full of the worst form of high-nosed tech incompetence there is. And so. With this type of arrogance and corporate frivolity, more often than I should, I think about what I would do if I were to actually meet a rider of the storm. Like Jonathan Ive. Well. This is what I would do. I would take whatever currency I have in my wallet, crumple it up into a little ball, and throw it tauntingly at him. “Here! Take my money, bitch!” Ive’s and everyone that works at Apple can go fuck themselves. They are not part of anything great they are only the best of the worst where consumers must play second fiddle to the whims of corporatists, wanna-bees and automatons. The only thing Apple can claim as being worthwhile
right now is that the laurels established by Steve Jobs haven’t run out yet. Or something like that.

Link that motivate this post:

Jonathan Ive and the Future of Apple – The New Yorker.

Rant on. -Tommi

Children Of The Sandbox

A sandbox is also a sandpit.

The image today is of an unlimited number of children playing in an unlimited sandbox. It used to be called a sandpit but that name had to be changed because of the minds that prefer mysticism over science, the irrational over reality, propaganda over fact. For you see, the word ‘pit’ is to reminiscent of the pits of hell, or the like. And so. It is, indeed, quite a large sandbox that we’re dealing with and truly reminiscent of things unwanted. It is also a very fancy sandbox. A sandbox of modern civilisation where the goings-on of humanity are centre stage of time, space, bodily secretions and nasty bedsheets. And what is it exactly that is going on in this sanbox? That’s right, dear worst-reader. In it are the children of today. And they play harmoniously, joyously and their lives are relevant and respected by all. Or? Maybe not. For we are believers in the mysticism, are we not? I know. Tommi’s worst-readers aren’t all as stupid as they look. All (three) of you know well enough that something else is going on in that sandbox but the bliss of ignorance is too great to combat–at least not as easy to combat as ISIL or ISIS or fighting that urge to eat… Nomatter. The point today in this worst-post is to try and figure out how we know that something else is going on in, around and underneath our sandbox. Does the bludgeoning (of nature) give it away? Does the regular beatings (of our environment) atop another child’s head with the green bucket give it away? And how ’bout the jamming of the pink shovel up the nose of johnny-come-lately where to repair the damage johnny’s entire skull must be put in a plaster cast to 1) hold his spongy brain in and 2) allow the fractured skull to repair itself. Yes. That’s the reality of the/our sandbox. The children in the form of money hungry, greedy (corporate) bastards ride the laurels of the past, have living standards at the expense of others and thereby occupy and bully the whole damn sandbox. One only need look at the behaviour of the children inside it. Or read about it here and here. And so. What better represents the truth of the sandbox we are all forced to live in these days than the reality behind using a hair dryer, filling up your car with petrol, pressing HI on your microwave, ruling the planet, etc.? I suppose one could also look at the banking industry and not just the energy industry–but where’s the fun in that? Do banks blow up in a mushroom cloud of flames and black smoke? Do we see nitty-gritty worker-bees struggling in their HAZMAT suits fending off toxins when banks fuck us over? No. Of course not. The energy industry, post technology boom of the nineties, has rum amok in the sandbox. And while Apple assumes the reign of corporate money terror over us all (and history) the has-beens of the boomer generation secure their ways & means. And no one really cares. The whole shebang passes us by even when it crashes into some rednecks house in god-knows-where W. VA. And redneck here or there complaining that an energy company blew up his house while his wife is in the hospital getting open heart surgery… None of that matters. Look at the plume of fire rising above the sweets ashes we live in.

List of recent examples of how we play in the sandbox of life where the children beat the living krapp out of each other and the sandbox because of energy resources. This is only a list from 2010 up to a few days ago and only accidents that occurred in the US. I purposely left out all the sandbox accidents on the Canadian side of things but if you’re interesting in reading about those you’ll have to go through the whole train derailment list which is at the source hyperlinked below.

  • 30 September 2010 – United States – Two Canadian National ore trains collide head on twelve miles north of Two Harbors, Minnesota, injuring all five crew members.
  • 17 April 2011 – United States – A Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway train hauling 130-cars of coal from Wyoming to Chicago rear-ends another train hauling maintenance equipment near Red Oak, Iowa about 07.00 (local time) on Sunday 17 April 2011. The lead locomotive on the coal train derails and fire engulfs the cab. The crew of two, the conductor and engineer, on the coal train are killed. Ten cars on the maintenance train derail. The two crew members on the maintenance train are not injured. The line is heavily trafficked and is shut down for 24 hours, with trains re-routed. An investigation is conducted by the NTSB.
  • 7 October 2011 – United States – 26 cars of a 131-car freight train derail and explode near Tiskilwa in Bureau County, Illinois, approximately 160 kilometres (99 mi) west of Chicago. No injuries are reported; 800 people are evacuated.
  • 6 January 2012 – United States – Three CSX freight trains collide in a remote section of Porter County, Indiana resulting in a fire and possible HAZMAT situation. Two injuries are reported.
  • 1 February 2012 – United States – The Amtrak Wolverine train from Pontiac, Michigan to Chicago, carrying 71 passengers and 5 crew, strikes a stalled tractor trailer (carrying equipment for oil production) on tracks in Leoni Township, Michigan. The lead engine and at least two cars derail. There are no fatalities, and six people suffer non-life-threatening injuries, according to the Jackson Citizen Patriot and the Blackman-Leoni Public Safety Department.
  • 4 July 2012 – United States – A Union Pacific coal train heading to Wisconsin derails, collapsing an overpass on Shermer Road in Glenview, Illinois at about 13.45. A day later, a couple, having been crushed by the falling coal and cars, are found dead in their car buried beneath the rubble.
  • 11 July 2012 – United States – A Norfolk Southern train with 2 locomotives and 98 cars derails in Columbus, Ohio, near the Ohio State Fairgrounds at 02.05 CDT. The resulting explosion, caused in part due to the burning of 76,000 litres (17,000 imperial gallons) of ethanol, causes a mile-wide evacuation. At the time of the explosion, two nearby individuals are injured; they drive themselves to hospital.
  • 21 July 2012 – United States – A Kansas City Southern freight train collides with a BNSF coal train and derails in Barton County, MO, injuring two railway workers.
  • 21 August 2012 – United States – Two women celebrating the night before their return to university on a railway bridge die shortly after midnight when a CSX coal train derails on the bridge in downtown Ellicott City, Maryland, burying the women under coal.[145] The NTSB investigation attributed the probable cause of the derailment to a broken rail.
  • 29 October 2012 – United States – Thirteen cars of a 57-car Paducah & Louisville (P&L) freight train derail near West Point, Kentucky. A tank car loaded with butadiene leaked and later caught fire while workers were repairing the track. No deaths, 5 injured. On 31 October, the train derailment exploded at 13:30 causing evacuations to be ordered in a 2 kilometre radius and an 8 kilometre radius to stay indoors. 3 were seriously burned in the explosion.
  • 8 November 2013 – United States – A 90-car freight train carrying crude oil from the Bakken shale patch in North Dakota (possibly similar to the type carried in the July 2013 Lac-Mégantic derailment in Quebec, Canada), from Amory, Mississippi to a refinery in Walnut Hill, Florida, derails and explodes in the morning in Pickens County, Alabama (west AL); the flames, which shot upward 300 feet high, were left to burn themselves out, which may take up to 24 hours. There were no fatalities or injuries.
  • 30 December 2013 – United States – Casselton train derailment – Several grain cars from a westbound train derail and strike an eastbound train carrying crude oil on an adjoining track near Casselton, North Dakota. Several crude oil cars explode, resulting in large clouds of black smoke which forced an evacuation of the area. No casualties were reported.
  • 17 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying coal derails near Dunnellon, Florida. Twelve cars of the 100-car train derailed in a rural area. The train was transporting the coal to the Duke Energy Crystal River Energy Complex. No injuries were reported.
  • 19 January 2014 – United States – A Union Pacific train carrying coal derails near Caledonia, Wisconsin. Nineteen cars of the 135-car train derailed. The cause is believed to be cracked rails caused by unusually cold winter conditions. No injuries were reported.
  • 20 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying crude oil derails in Philladelphia, Pennsylvania. Seven cars of a 101-car train derailed on a bridge over the Schuylkill Expressway, causing the road to be shut down for brief periods of time as emergency crews drained the tankers. No injuries were reported.
  • 28 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying phosphoric acid derails near McDavid, Florida. 23 of the 69 cars derailed, resulting in the destruction of the tracks and bridge over Fletcher Creek, and chemicals leaking into the water. No injuries were reported.
  • 30 January 2014 – United States – A NS train transporting 179 empty coal cars derailed near Jewell Ridge, Virginia. No injuries were reported, and the accident was cleared on the same day.
  • 31 January 2014 – United States – A CN train carrying crude oil, methane and liquid fertilizer derails near New Augusta, Mississippi. 18 to 24 cars of the 85-car train derailed and began leaking. The derailment occurred in a rural area, but resulted in 12 families being evacuated and four lanes of U.S. 98 closed as emergency responders began to clean up the spill. No injuries were reported.
  • 30 April 2014 – United States – CSX derailment: 15 tankers carrying crude oil derail and catch fire in Lynchburg, Virginia, striking fears of water contamination in the local area and beyond.
  • 1 May 2014 – United States – CSX coal train derailed three locomotives and 10 cars in Bowie, MD.
  • 10 May 2014 – United States – a train traveling in Colorado derails and spills 6,500 US gallons (25,000 l; 5,400 imp gal) of oil west of LaSalle, Colorado.
  • 5 October 2014 – United States – a Union Pacific freight train slams into a lowboy trailer in Mer Rouge, LA, seriously injuring both railroad crew and causing two engines along with 17 cars to derail. 50 homes are evacuated for about two hours due to the leakage of argon gas from the tank car.
  • 16 February – United States – A CSX freight train derails in West Virginia. At least 7 tank cars catch fire, with over 60 people evacuated from their homes nearby.

List source here.

Another link here worth reading on the subject, maybe.

Good luck suckers.

Rant on. -Tommi

Jokes Not Got

I’ll tell you what your reaction will be to my next story. When I get to the punch line there will be silence, giggles, snickers, then laughs. Watch. These two girls are walking down the street. The one girl says to the other, “Hey girl, isn’t that your husband coming out of the florist?” She says, “Yes dammit, and he’s got two dozen roses.” She says, “I’m gonna have to keep my legs up in the air for three days.” Her girlfriend looks at her and says, “Well, why don’t you get her face?” -Redd Foxx

Explain Money

“About a year ago, upon reading Tropic of Cancer, Ezra Pound wrote me a postcard in his usual Cabalistic style, asking me if I had ever thought about money, what makes it and how it gets that way. The truth is that until Mr. Pound put the question to me I had never really thought about the subject. Since then, however, I have thought about it night and day. The result of my meditations and lucubrations I now offer to the world in the shape of this little treatise which, if it does not settle the problem once and for all, may at least unsettle it.” -Henry Miller, Forward to Money and How It Gets That Way, Paris, November 1, 1936

Less Better

apple wifi router bs.png

That’s his name, btw. Less Better. Almost an ornery type from the ‘burbs. Moved to the city because he wanted to be hip. But you know what they say? You can take the hipster out of the suburbs but you can’t oil him up enough to make him go that way. Or something like that. Nomatter. I had to pull Less into my realm because my tech was acting up again. Damn routers! How is it that they make these devices with WinXP-like operating systems? Who wants to get into the innards of these devices in the first place? So I switched to something new. Simpler? Yes. Access to the device through an application. No more accessing it through some cryptic 192.168.1.x URL and a browser. Who came up with that krapp? Oh yeah. Win-XP. You know, I never liked Bill Gates. But then again. I hated Steve Jobs more. These fake industrialists think they can get away with anything. Gates with his dumb-ass operating system and Jobs with his closed world monopoly. (Say, is that last one redundant?) Alright. Enough already. Here’s the issue that Less Better solved for me. I don’t know who engrained/instilled it in me but the remembrance of more is better is quite wrong. More is less–unless Less Better is only a SIP-call away. And this time he was quicker than the last.

“You can’t have three routers set up like that, dude,” Less said.

“Where does it say that? It doesn’t say that anywhere,” I countered.

“Stop being a jerk, Tommi. Every time I come over here and fix something for you, you think that there was never a problem in the first place. Why is that?”

“You know as well as I do, Less, that I have tech issues,” I said, continuing to poor us rooibos tea, his favourite.

Less whipped out one of his fancy slate-like computers and showed me (the above) pic. Diagrams always help. He then sipped his tea and proceeded to walk around the labyrinth of halls in my house and took out one of the three routers. He then restarted the primary router. After a few seconds it was back online and I looked at my network printer settings–the cause of the whole ordeal. It had now switched over to the extended router.

“But Less,” I said. “I don’t want my printer on that router. I want it on the other router.”

Less finished his rooibos. He snickered at me. He winked. He then inquired as to what gadget I would buy next and promised to be over in the morning after he had a few drinks in the night and fell asleep with two tylenols.

Rant on. -Tommi

Feminism vs Emancipation

eat cherries
“You can leave your hat on.” -Randy Newman

Today a few thoughts on another movie (Fifty Shades of Grey) I won’t see. This post is NSFW. Or maybe not. Good luck.

Every generation has to have its own mainstream how-to fuck film. I say mainstream because the porn industry isn’t really a how-to fuck industry, although that’s probably a shame on account it does provide a lot of obviously needed information on The Carnal. (Seriously. Where would #americant be without porn? Childless? Fewer lost boys? Women walking around with donut glaze on their faces? Etc.) But then the question becomes: since so much porn is being consumed why is it that most young people still don’t know how to fuck and thereby, for all practical purposes, require how-to films? Could the answer have anything to do with misconstrued morality? Puritanical shame? Or how ’bout this:

Romantic-love should die?

Indeed, dear worst-reader. The reality is, romantic-love has run its course and it’s time to move on. Seriously. It would help humanity a great deal. Just drop it. Get rid of it. Be done!

That said. I have nothing against romance (and sex) as a transaction–which is all love is these days as defined by its culmination: marriage. But I do have a problem with going against nature. And. Fucking is nature. Making love is… anti nature. Or maybe not.

Which brings me to this part of this attempt at opening a can of worms: What’s with the debate on marriage rights? You know. We shouldn’t be debating whether or not one group can marry and another can’t. What we should be doing is getting rid of the institution of marriage outright. Obviously, in the wake of the past hundred or so years, as an institution, it is an utter failure. Get ride of it. By doing so, we can kill two birds with one stone. Offing marriage’s head could finally save the children. It could also save females from themselves. Be done!

Oh yeah. I was worst-writing about romantic-love in the context of feminism vs emancipation vs porn all motivated by silly films. Wait. Or was I…? Nomatter. The how-to fuck film of my day was called 9 1/2 Weeks. A silly bourgeois cinematic romp where a female couldn’t decide what to do with the confusion that arises between (her) biology and the inevitability of husband hunting–which often gets confused when the libido takes the first step off the cliff (great job Kim Basinger). And when I think back on that movie the only thing I can remember is the confused look on my then girlfriend’s face regarding her puritanical upbringing juxtaposed with being raised in the wake of 1960s flower-power and being fed cherries on the kitchen floor while wearing fancy pyjamas (or the like).

Did you know that romantic-love has no purpose? It used to have a purpose. Back in the day when Das Volk loved feudalism, birth entitlement, aristocracy, monarchs. Oh wait. We still live in those times. Nomatter (again.) Something about getting daughters from wealthy houses to marry into other wealthy houses where the groom wasn’t the best match or vice-versa was the only way to play the patriarchs game. Today that game is the same but played in the vein of the same-difference. Marriage, and by default romantic-love, as an institution, still provides the patriarch rulers the mother teat. And he sucks joyously upon it. So go and fight about your silly marriage vows. When you give-in to institutions it doesn’t matter what you suck on. Doom is neigh.

Ok. I’m confused. And I’m way off subject. The subject is how-to fuck films and why they are so stupid. It has nothing to do with porn and exploitation as Chris Hedges so rightfully points out (see link below). What it is about is what Mr. Hedges misses. The reality is how-to fuck films are about something much deeper. They are about the mindset of the indoctrinated human female who is either Barbie or August Ames*. The confusion the female, the child bearer, the mother faces today, now that porn is mainstream, must be horrendous. Yet so few females voice anything above and beyond what they themselves have trivialised by exploiting romantic-love which can only lead to the transaction of marriage which ultimately leads to the mass silliness we have today–half of which all end in expensive and child ruining divorce. And so. Maybe there needs to be an alternative to the fiction that we are forced to make real that is romantic-love and maybe that alternative is buried deep in the subtext of how-to fuck films. Or maybe not. Whatever.

And on a side note. Even though worst-writer doesn’t believe in much, you know, as in gods and mysticism, there is something in me that does believe in nature which means that there is a slight thought or three regarding the validity and/or possibility of reincarnation which in-turn makes me shudder at the thought that I could come back as a female. Aghast!porn cheap


Chris Hedges: ‘Pornography Is What the End of the World Looks Like’ – Chris Hedges – Truthdig.

Oh Look! People Are Going To See It Because They Don’t Know How To… | HuffPost

Rant on. -Tommi

*For kicks I googled something like “popular porn star” and her name came up. Seriously. I’ve never heard of her or seen her before. Really. Wow.

How To Firmware

Note: this is NOT an advert. Could careless which product you buy. Moving on. ¶Wouldn’t you know it. Wait for the right moment and it never comes. Unexpect that moment and it does come. Recent debacle with planetary über-corporation Samsung lead to a firmware update (almost) debacle. As worst-stated in this post, Samsung’s IT Volk need to seriously reconsider how they update their printers. In short, Samsung thinks that in order to update a printer you must first have a windows PC, preferably something XP or better. If you don’t have a WinXP device then you are shit out of luck or you have to get your silly new-school ass to some rinky-dink retailer’s support window so they can do the update for you. Luckily I’m as resourceful if not more resourceful than the global IT Volk at Samsung–and I happened to know someone who could lend me an old WinXP device so that I could update the printer myself. (It was actually kinda cool cause the situation gave me a chance to look over a laptop that still had a serial port on it. ;-)) The problem is, Samsung’s IT Volk seem to think you have to update their products with a .exe file. To prove that that’s not the case, I just did a firmware update for my new DSL modem from D-Link. All I had to do was download the firmware update, which is in a .zip file, unpack it, read the “how-to” .pdf file, then access the update file, which is a .rar file, using any browser and… Boom baby! Update done. And it was done using a 2010 MacBook Pro running Snow Leopard (cause SL is the way I roll). ¶And so. You see goliath Samsung. It’s totally do-able. Bet you guys did’t know that. Now go learn something and update the outdated innards of your IT departments and your laser printers. Rant on. -t

Kopf In Honey

Shout-out of the evening: Dieter Hallervorden. Just watched the German tragic-comedy “Honig Im Kopf” (Honey In My Head). When I first heard about the movie I didn’t give it much attention. Up until the passing of my stepfather last August, I had seen two other films about Alzheimer’s, “Mein Vater” and “Away From Her” and I had had enough of it. All of these movies though are very good. But the one that will forever stand out is the one written and directed by Till Schweiger–who also happens to star in the movie. That said, Hallervorden steels the show. He delivered not only some incredible acting but one of the best portrayals I have ever seen… of my stepfather and the whole reality of Dementia and Alzheimers that my family went through for almost a decade. Even though I haven’t seen anything from Till Schweiger in a while, I also have to say that he nailed this film with his directing and story telling which is co-written by Hilly Martinek. And let me not forget the young grandchild played by Schweiger’s real-life daughter, who also deserves credit for some serious work. Her screen presence is at times mesmerizing and she really drew me in to every scene where I couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say or do next. There is also an interesting comic-relief element in this film which is portrayed by Till and his on-screen wife. I’m not sure if Till was really going for the comic-relief thing, though, but if anything took away from the movie, it was that part. I don’t say that to diminish the actors and their struggle–because I think they did struggle to incorporate that element of the story (which is a good thing). They did a fine job. But it is not clear if they are supposed to be the comedy or some other element, e.g. family drama. If they are the latter than there is something missing in the movie. If they are the former then Till has to work on his comedic delivery. But none of that matters because, again, and it can’t be said enough: Hallervorden is brilliant. The man deserves a friggin’ Oscar! Great movie.

A Eulogy.

Rant on. -t

Go Away All

Compulsive Behaviour: doing something to the point of an obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or other condition leading to self mutilating behaviour.

Yeah. I’m a fuddy-duddy. I stopped laughing at Jon Stewart years ago. I might have even lost touch with comedy on account I hate comedy that only nit-picks, makes fun and relies solely on parody. (Which is why I prefer Bill Maher when it comes to making fun of the idiocy of #americant politics.) Or, maybe, I lost touch with comedy because I’ve gone native in the #eurowasteland borough of Germania. I mean, you know what they say about Europe? The Italians make things pretty and useless, the French make things taste good but ugly and the British will never accept the fact that they squandered their empire and… And… The Germans have Ordnung. Or something like that.

Two things have happened this week worth briefly worst-chronicling, dear worst-reader. First, the Brian Williams saga, which I mentioned here last night. Second, Jon Stewart announced that he’s been bored out of his mind for the past decade or so playing the Shakespearean Fool. Wait. Or is it his audience that’s been playing the fool? Nay. It’s probably a little bit of both. Nomatter. What’s clear is both these men are a dime a dozen and it would be a great thing if, by their departure from the rat race, a new consciousness emerges regarding the rotting soul that is an ongoing fail-upwards experiment.

What Jon Stewart fails to realise in his pseudo-defence of Brian Williams is that the lie Williams told isn’t the issue. “Media hypocrisy” or “infotainment confusion syndrome” isn’t the issue either–although both are very fitting contextual buzzwords. The issue here, dear worst-reader–and listen very closely to this as your inner ear speaks what you read–is the compulsive behaviourism that is the foundation of the FUFCS of America–fail upward fascist corporate society. Hence we live in a world of unoriginality galore. Which means, in the parlay of the The Dream, making fun of stuff can also be an industry. And so. Unfortunately. The whole idear of parodying politics is nothing new. I was introduced to the krapp when I moved to #eurowasteland a quarter century ago. (The French are the best at it, btw.) Which also means, like most #americants today, Stewart didn’t create anything by starting The Daily Show. What he did create, though, and I mean this sincerely, is a venue where an already lost, written-off generation can laugh at the misery it has done to itself.

What’s more important to think about here is the irony of Stewart announcing his departure and at the same time Brian Williams is facing the wrath of his fellow corporatists who smell the blood sewn by scrapping the walls of hell to get to the top. In other words. The only reason Brian Williams and ALL others working in the media are where they are today is not based on merit. That is how/why a fib can be turned into a federal case. In fact, anyone today who makes even a half decent living working for a corporation is where they are NOT because of merit. The reason for it is the automaton corporate state we have created and live for without questioning it. And. No. Laughing at it ain’t questioning the system. Indeed. You have to have a people that will go along with this game. What an astonishing thought–if you think about it. Hence everything–EVERYTHING–has a dollar value. Material is the only way of showing if you can cope with your environment. Cronyism is how you get to scrape them walls of hell. And. Jon Stewart makes you laugh at it–at yourself!

So. Once again. Because of parody, because of squeezing out another giggle, America can keep sweeping its ugly truths under the carpet and Jon Stewart can finally sit back and watch the keystone cop future that is The Dream wither away into the sunset of milking an empty cow. Either that or he can take the millions he has earned from causing minions to laugh so hard they forget where their standing and go off to Hollywood and produce movies. Ain’t that his plan? Ain’t that everyone’s plan? Yeah. He was on the air for (insert number of years) and faux newz is still alive and kicking. And. The next Brian Williams is waiting in the wings with his lies, frothing at the mouth. Go careerists of nothingness. Go. Go Away. All of you.


Diagnosis Of What Is Wrong–Not. | HuffPost

Let The Funnies Cover The Lying Forever | BuzzFeed

Another Article That Is The Same As The Two Above | TheDailyBeast

Update link: Maybe, Just Maybe, Here’s A Different Article | Crooks & Liars

Rant on. -Tommi

Suicide Eyes

“‘The only freedom that an American has is to conform, as you’ve already discovered.’ Caroline did not in the least mind the disparity between the country’s shining image of itself and the crude reality. She was entirely on the side of the rulers, ridiculous and unpleasant as so many of them were. She felt a certain generalised pity for the people at large, but there was nothing she could do for them except report murders in the press, and commit suicide on the screen–with her eyes wide open.” -Gore Vidal (Caroline Sanford), Hollywood

The Disingenuity

A cartoon of a chickenhawk squawking to a listening audience.

Have to go serious cynical this morn, dear worst-reader. Here it goes. While watching the below linked interview on Democracy Now, about half-way through it, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of disingenuity. Amy Goodman was interviewing a so-called whistleblower named John Kiriakou and for the first time, after years of watching her, I actually thought that Amy was having the wool pulled over her eyes. In fact, the disingenuity was becoming so intense I wanted to reach out and try to save Amy. Say what you will about journalists these days. They are, for the most part, nothing but scum-corporatists. Yet, in my view, Amy holds a special position among the pack of broadcast squawks because she is probably one of the only remaining old school journalists with a legitimate venue. Her sincerity is rock solid, she oozes do-goodness, and if I had to bet on anyone never telling a lie, I’d bet on Amy. (Ok, I might bet on Bill Moyers, too.) And that’s saying a lot in the wake of Brian Williams–who represents the epitome of what corporate journalism is today. So if I had to criticise Amy I would do it this way: in her heart she is a young girl that refuses to wake up to the realities of this world and so she rides what’s left of the dying wave of beautiful naive integrity and I look forward to listening to her everyday. So it goes without saying, she would never knowingly misguide her audience–which cannot be said of CNN, faux newz, ABC, NBC, CBS, etc. And that makes me kinda sad because, allow me to repeat: Amy has had the wool pulled over her eyes. For the first time I think she’s given us a really, really bad interview because she is unable to see through the lie that is her interviewee.

Let’s begin with what I consider the most important part of the interview (bold text and links are from me).

AMY GOODMAN: What are your thoughts today on NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden? What would you advise him?

JOHN KIRIAKOU: I think Ed Snowden is a national hero. I think Ed Snowden gave us information on government illegality that we otherwise would never have had. I regret that the federal government has revoked his passport and has caused him to be stuck in Russia, but I think that he did a very courageous thing. I’m not sure I would have released all of the information that he released, because, in some cases, I want NSA to be spying on foreign governments and foreign leaders. That’s what NSA does; that’s what they’re supposed to do. I want the U.S. government to have a leg up, for example, in trade negotiations or defense contracting or whatever it is. But in terms of the illegality that Ed Snowden revealed, I think he did a great national service.

AMY GOODMAN: In 2013, Edward Snowden commented on the Obama administration’s treatment of whistleblowers who preceded him. He said, quote, “Binney, Drake, Kiriakou, and Manning are all examples of how overly-harsh responses to public-interest whistle-blowing only escalate the scale, scope, and skill involved in future disclosures. Citizens with a conscience are not going to ignore wrong-doing simply because they’ll be destroyed for it: the conscience forbids it. Instead, these draconian responses simply build better whistleblowers. If the Obama administration responds with an even harsher hand against me, they can be assured that they’ll soon find themselves facing an equally harsh public response.” Again, those the words of Ed Snowden. Do you think Edward Snowden should come back to the United States, John Kiriakou?

JOHN KIRIAKOU: I do not, not under any circumstances. And I’ve said that both publicly and privately to him in a letter. I do not believe that he will get a fair trial in the United States, especially in the Eastern District of Virginia, where he’s being charged or where he has been charged. I think the deck is stacked against him, as it is against any whistleblower, and if the government has its way, Ed Snowden will never see the light of day.

I suggest watching the entire interview. And I’m sure most won’t get the feeling of disingenuity like I got. But the thing is this: I do not believe a word John Kiriakou is saying. Where Amy oozes truth and sincerity, the other guy oozes and oozes the exact vulgar and slimy opposite. Is that because he is, obviously, a corporatist? Is it because he worked for the CIA–where the word intelligence means the opposite of what it is supposed to mean? Ok. Ok. I’m probably over doing it here. But listening to this man talk just gives me the creeps. And that’s not all. The creeps this guy gives off is just like the creeps I get from another guy. That’s right. You guessed it, dear worst-reader. John Kiriakou is the same creep that Edward Snowden is. Or am I the only one that gets this feeling when ever people like this open their mouths? (Oh no, am I projecting?) But I suppose none of that matters because, (sarcasm on) Edward Snowden is a hero.

As I’ve tried to worst-write here and maybe here, the book will remain forever open regarding the sincerity of people like Edward Snowden. For starters, I’m still waiting for anything significant to come from his leaks. All I’ve heard from those leaks so far pertains only to the fact that the US Govt. spies. What has come from that spying is not revealed. And so. There were a few people in the right place at the right time, who also understand the workings of making money off of confusion, and they supplanted a new conspiracy in the minds of the masses that is already drunk on conspiracy. Seriously. Is it a surprise to you that the US Govt. is spying on other countries, people and the Interwebnets? Is that new? If you didn’t know already, here’s bit of novelty for you. The Interwebnets is mostly just an extension of telephony, i.e. mass communication that goes back to the telegraph and maybe even the pony-express. With that reality in mind, is it really a surprise that the US is spying? If, on the other hand, Snowden would have released a transcript of Angela Merkel calling Osama Bin Laden and talking to him about moving Al-Qaeda to Leipzig, then, maybe, I’d say that Snowden provided us some significant info. Instead. He reveals to us the NSA has a program called PRISM. He also reveals the NSA has captured every SMS sent in the past x number of years. Oh. And let’s not forget the big news he gave us. Did you know that the US government can read your phone records without a warrant?

But I digress.

Or maybe not.

As far as I can tell, there has been only one significant release of unauthorised information that has come out of this fake war on terror that we all are required to live in. That information was delivered to us by a guy who wants to be woman and s/he is serving 35 years in military prison, Chelsea Manning. As far as the other whistleblowers go (focusing on Snowden and Kiriakou), it seems that they are only part of the how and not the what regarding spying. And if that’s the case, if these people are less significant than the media has made them, who the fuck are they then? I’ll tell you who they are. These two men are nothing more than pissed off corporatists who, like the rest of the children in the sandbox where they play, are throwing a tantrum. These people–and this is what oozes out of Kiriakou in Amy Goodman’s interview (and the same oozes out of Snowden in interviews)–are the children raised by a privileged fail-upwards society. Their parents instilled in them an anti-social behaviour that borderlines on the psychotic–and there are multi-millions of them (most of which get all their information about the world thru the likes of faux news, i.e. these people are clueless to original thought). And let’s not forget that the society that has reared these men is two handed. On the one hand, you can see and hear their craziness in the whacky conspiracy-theory world propagated by the likes of Alex Jones. On the other hand, there’s the whacky world of libertarianism and Ayn Rand-ism–just listen to the sophomoric minds of politicians like Paul Ryan. Indeed, dear worst-reader. We live in a world of weak minds and even weaker intellects which are all so easily preyed upon.

Link: Democracy Now

Good luck.

Rant on.


Forced Obsolescence

Forced ObsolescenceRant about corporate goliath Apple, dear worst-reader. Yeah, I’m sitting by the fire and my better-half is sewing, my pug is snooring and the MBP on my lap is roaring. While trying to get some work done I get this strange notice from Apple while trying to access their/my iCloud data. Yeah. Talk about a tried and true monopoly nemesis. I know. I know. It’s my own fault that I have all this reason to bitch about Apple. That’s because, at last count, I have thrown enough mulla at Apple that they should come by my house and shine my friggin’ shoes. How much mulla, you ask. Well, let’s run it down, shall we? For tonight is a night of wannabe bragging rights and for praising how I know why Apple is so rich. Tommi’s computer fruit hardware includes:

  • 2010 Mac Pro
  • 2010 MacBook Pro
  • 2011 Mac Mini
  • iPad Air and iPad 4
  • iPhone 5s and iPhone 4s
  • AppleTV2 and Apple TV3.
  • Airport Extreme (5th Gen), Airport Express (1st Gen)

Needless to say, we are an Apple household. And to be quite honest, I’m not proud of it. Ok. Maybe for a short time there, let’s say back in 2012, I might have been proud of it. But after the death of Steve Jobs things changed. Buying or owning Apple just ain’t the same anymore. And to make matters worse, Apple’s really going overboard with making their products obsolete by pushing all these updates down user’s throats that cut us off from a very functioning past. My 2010 MBP, with an SSD I installed last year, runs fantastic–because I am still running Snow Leopard on it. Seriously. I even got a new battery installed in it in 2013. The thing runs for eight hours without a charge, more if I turn off wifi. When I upgraded it to Mountain Lion it ran for like two hours. But I digress. The things is, I use all this stuff to the hilt. Seriously. Here’s why:

  1. We don’t use regular phones anymore.
  2. When communicating with family and friends, we use FaceTime or Skype or, of course, email.
  3. We don’t watch TV. We watch everything using iTunes, AppleTV and iPads.
  4. I haven’t bought a physical book in years. Read everything on iPad and iPhone using Kindle.
  5. Of course, I stopped using DVD players about four years ago and instead run quite a large media library in iTunes which serves all our devices.
  6. Just recently threw out the modem/router that our ISP gave us. That thing was the bottle-neck to our whole network. There were times when I could feel that device fishing around for IP address and DHCP issues and subnet mask confusion, etc. Now with just a DSL modem, my network is managed by a single Airport Extreme and extended by Airport Express.

All in all, this Apple household works great. But, like I said, there is something lingering because of the rotting mother teat that is the Apple monopoly. Just the other day, after I pulled off the feat of disconnecting our ISPs krappy modem/router, I went into an Apple store to ask a blueshirt if he knew how I could get SIP running on my iPhone. (The ISP modem/router was also the hub for landline telephony. But since our ISP offers SIP calling, I thought I could just start using an iPhone for that.) Lo and behold. The blueshirt at the Apple store is clueless. And I’m thinking, what the hell does this company do with selling all this fancy, pretty equipment to the masses and when we need a little help with it all all they can say is:

  1. Sorry, we’re clueless
  2. Pay me thirty-five Euros and I’ll call a technician for ya.

F*#k you, Apple. And F*#k your efforts to MAKE me upgrade to krapp that I or anyone else doesn’t need.

Link: Planned Obsolescence | Wiki

Rant on. -Tommi

Whoa! History

And now, dear worst-reader, let’s take a moment and give a listen to how the other part of the western world’s pseudo-democracies are viewing z’Germans.

“For the German people and their leader to work out a political strategy that has them encouraging people to think of southern Europeans as lazy and not working and somehow deserving of a different way of being handled as people in the north… Whoa! That is a very dangerous game to be playing. And for a politician who is smart–and Merkel is–this must be a sign of… Whoa! Have I got problems. There is austerity in Germany. The working class is not happy. It has prided itself on being better off than the southern Europeans. Not the least little factoid: If Syriza raises the minimum wage–to 750/month–it will mean that the German working class will earn less than them. And that’s going to be very difficult to understand and to process.” -Prof. Richard Wolff, 1:18 of vid.

Well, I suppose one thing has come from the recent Greek elections. The (main) issue has been shifted, avoided, weaselled around once again. Off the table is the fact that there are simply a few bad apples in the barrel–and a few countries that exist in meritless, unjustifiable living standards that have been financed by corruption, greed and old-money for far too long. Basically, what that’s saying is: nothing has changed in #eurowasteland. Obviously Prof. Wolff thinks the situation is worth watching–closely! Good for him. I’ll just keep living in it. Rant on. -Tom

More Money Than

Say what you will about success and failure, dear worst-reader–because none of what is said matters anymore. As far as business and making money goes, Apple seems to transcend it all. The only question I have is, as Apple prances around the globe with more money than most nations and potentially even more cash than the US treasury (at last count it has only $60b), what can a company do with so much? Seriously. Am I the only one to think about this? Apple has been sitting on a mountain of cash for years now. Obviously that won’t last forever. What goes up, must come down. But in the mean time you would think that something spectacular could come out of this. Or maybe it doesn’t have to be spectacular. I mean, we don’t need Apple colonising the moon or mars. We obviously don’t need it to re-invent the PC industry–as it seems content to live within the confines of that cabal, albeit the iPhone and iPad is somewhat of a break from that. What then should Apple do with all its money? For starters, it should buy the friggin’ Internet. No. I mean it. And if it can’t buy the whole thing it should at least make a major contribution to freeing up at least some part of the data-super-highway. Or how ’bout this. Why not buy a cell phone carrier? It’s perfectly positioned to do so, especially with its iPhone/iPad and retail stores. No? Not good enough? Ok. Why doesn’t it invest somewhere to improve America’s Internet infrastructure? Ain’t that what Google’s doing with its gazillions? Seriously. Internet in the US sucks batballs. Wait. That brings me to this thought. Apple should do something about the Internet being controlled by monopoly ISPs. Wait. Am I getting too idealistic now? Ok, back to business–back to basics. How ’bout this. Why doesn’t Apple stop screwing around with monopoly pricing of its own products and really break the back of the Intel/Microsoft cabal? Yeah. I think I like that last one best. On the other hand. I’ll just take a free t-shirt next time I’m in a Apple store so I can wear it in the near future when I switch back to Windows. Yeah. What goes up must come down. Rant on. -t

Apple Q1 2014 Numbers: $158.8 Billion in Cash, 65 Billion Apps Downloaded, and 420 Total Retail Stores – Mac Rumors.

When Credit Really Doesn’t Matter – Zero Zedge

Skittles Is Newspeak

Another fantastic piece of journalism? Indeed. And it doesn’t matter that mindless television spectacle should remind people of the last efforts to stall the fall of the Roman empire. You know, like they did with those coliseum games way back when. Just watch the vid, dear worst-reader. Three issues of #americant neo-fascism and corporatism are addressed.

  1. Wife beating
  2. Controlling history
  3. Newspeak

Even though the corporation (NFL) behind the television spectacle claim to be against wife beating their only effort in combating it is a bit of commercial air-time with a so-called PSA. That we are presented with a corporation taking responsibility for this dire issue is absurd. There should be adequate laws, if not a constitutional amendment not just protecting but also empowering women. Now. How many jokes have been made in the fraternity halls of #americant about women using the code of ordering pizza when they dial 911 to get help?

The days leading up to the game were full of news about a guy from Oakland named Marshawn. Once again the corporation (NFL) was able to extract a character from their story that millions upon millions could identify with. Or did they, perhaps, extract the wrong character? I’ll let others be the judge of that. But here’s what got under worst-writer’s skin. If you haven’t seen it, check out Marshawn’s Skittles promo. The moment I saw that and then listened to him rebel against corporate authority–by finding a brilliant way to not break his contract and still “talk” to the press–I thought of Trayvon Martin. Wasn’t Trayvon getting Skittles when he was shot by a wannabe-nazi for 1) wearing a hoody, 2) not taking any shit from wannabe-nazi, 3) and telling wannabe-nazi to f-off? Then comes the speculation (from journalist in vid, not mine) that the corporation (NFL) punished Marshawn for his rebellious ways by telling the Seahawks coach not to make him a hero at the end of the game. Yeah, talk about controlling history.

What does the voice of corporatism say? Here a few examples of what it says: Hits to defenceless players; Unnecessary risk; Concussions were down twenty-five percent.Well, as we see in the vid above, the last portion of it featuring the corporations spokesmen, aka the CEO, it speaks in the voice of well positioned PSA’s, contracts for controlling minions and blood letting. Indeed. It says what it knows Das Volk needs to hear. Sometimes the voice uses big words and sometimes it uses fancy words, not that there’s much of a difference between the two for those who can’t understand anyway. In defending what is truly a lust for violence–which the corporation (NFL) knows is all its audiences wants to consume and provides it the foundation for such outrageous profits–it exudes both interest and compassion as though it really cares. Yeah, right. We know what it really cares about. And so. Will the NFL simply outlaw helmet spearing? How about shortening the regular season back down to ten games? How about providing players with medical care after they retire? Oh well. When you’re the authority and you have the power to determine when the sun rises, newspeak is the least of your problems.

Rant on.


WindowsXP Stuck

Screen Shot 2015-02-02 at 10.08.07
File path designation on a Mac using Chrome browser. Even a tech laymen like me understands that in order to have this type of error in 2015 it can only mean that much of the tech world is still stuck in WindowsXP.

–Update–see below.

Better half bought a new printer recently to replace the bloated HP device we bought only a short while ago. Even though worst-writer is the family system administrator, I don’t print anymore so I gladly turned the task of print-media over to the head of household. Which meant that every other month there was a frustrated voice around the house complaining that she’s run out of ink–again! After failing to convince her that, if she was going to be printing so much, it was time to stop throwing money at the print ink industry, the life of our krappy HP device gave out. The print-head didn’t last two years which meant that we were yet another victim of corporate obsoletism. Putting my cynicism about the corporate tech world aside, our problem is wifey prints everything. She prints design patterns for sewing her skirts. She prints instructions for quilting. She prints mock-ups of pug winter coats. So after the HP krapp died and I was unable to convince her otherwise, she called me up and said, “Ok, I’m buying a new printer whether you like it or not.”

“Oh really,” I said.

“Yeah. I NEEEEEED a printer,” she says.

“No. You don’t. You only think you do because our generation was raised on paper. Come on. Times have changed, honey. And you have all these devices. You have a Mac, you have an iPad Air, you have an iPhone. You don’t need to print anything anymore.”

There was a short, intense pause. I could hear dogs barking. I could feel the rumbling of the bats in a cave. I could smell sulphur as Hell’s vengeance was starting to brew.

“We’re not having this conversation again. I understand your point of view but that doesn’t mean I have to answer to you. Now. I’m getting a printer whether you like it or not. Just tell me which one to get!”

“Ok. Fine. Geez. Get a laser printer,” I said, beaten.

“I know that! Which one!”

Enough about males trying to change the minds of females. And. Long story short. I told her if she couldn’t wait for me to research which product to buy then to get the Samsung. Which she did. She came home with it and lots of smiles. But by the look of the packaging I knew that trouble was inside. At first the printer worked great. Full compatibility with our Macs. But then, the other day, I noticed that wifey’s iPad was hooked up to her Mac. Which meant that she was updating to iOS8. Oh well, I thought. There is only so much we men and masters of this tech universe can expect from our wives. The update was gonna come eventually. And so. After the update she can no longer print to her new, fancy laser printer using her iPad. Kaboom!

Which brings me to the pic above. After an initial “I told you so” discussion with wifey, I grabbed the printer and took it to my office. I began the process of trying to find the problem. My iPad4, which was and will remain on iOS7 for as long as possible, printed fine. After reinitialising the printer, setting it up using the included software CD and a USB connection, there was nothing to be done. The iOS8 update is the problem. Ok. Google it. Lo and behold. The printer needs a firmware update. Great. Found the firmware update and downloaded it. It’s a .zip file. Unzip it. (Pause. Breath. Stop the presses.) What gets unzipped? Wait for it… A friggin’ .exe file. What? Are you f’n kiddin’ me. Samsung releases a firmware update for a €300,- laser printer and that update is windows ONLY? Wow. After continuing to search the Interwebnets for a Mac compatible file, nothing is to be found. The whole time I kept thinking of the moment I got rid of all my old Windows stuff back in 2011. And don’t get me wrong here. I’m a windows fan. I love Windows 7 and 8. My problem is I can’t afford both OSs. So we’re an Apple only home. Oh my!

This is a moment when I’m convinced there is no progress in this world. Seriously. How is it that a company like Samsung can pull this off? Oh yeah. It’s Samsung. And it’s not just the fact that they make a firmware update for windows only. It actually gets worse because I didn’t want to give up on the fact that I could solve this problem. I kept thinking about how I could get this update installed without a windows machine. What about a USB stick? The printer has a USB slot. So I tried it. There is no interface to allow the printer to access the USB stick that way. Ok. What about something online, provided by Samsung? There is nothing. Then I thought, hey, what about my network access? As is the case with most networked devices, the printer has a setup page one can access using a browser and your internal network. Just find out what the printer’s IP address is and put that in a browser. The printer even has a “maintenance” section that includes a firmware update protocol. All one has to do is tell the browser where the update file is located. But then the browser update protocol cannot recognise the file path on a Mac. And that’s the straw that broke the camel’s back. Wow! This is such a bummer in 2015, man.

So now we wait for a response from Samsung support on whether or not they will bring the fruit of update joy.


Luckily I only had to spend a few hours on this whole printer problem. Also, hats off to @SamsungSupport USA for quickly responding via twitter. (And since this was my first Twitter Direct Message (DM), I finally learned what that is all about.) The only problem is, Samsung didn’t help much. After atypically asking the customer for further info about the product–which they really didn’t need since this was about their firmware update being windows only–I finally starting asking neighbours if they had an old PC/laptop that I could borrow in order to update my printer. The second neighbour I asked obliged and handed me a really, really old Compaq pentium laptop. It was neat to start the thing up, it booted right quickly (for its age) into XP and after waiting here and there for the old machine to perform, I was connected via USB to the printer. The firmware update took about ten minutes during which time I couldn’t help but look at that piece of ancient tech history. It had a 1,4mb diskette slot. Even the wifi pcmcia card worked. More hats off (than to Samsung) to old PC equipment for making this happen. Now better-half, using her iPad Air running iOS8 can print to her new laser printer.

Rant on.