Two Minutes Hate

“The horrible thing about the Two Minutes Hate was not that one was obliged to act a part, but, on the contrary, that it was impossible to avoid joining in. Within thirty seconds any pretence was always unnecessary. A hideous ecstasy of fear and vindictiveness, a desire to kill, to torture, to smash faces in with a sledge-hammer, seemed to flow through the whole group of people like an electric current, turning one even against one’s will into a grimacing, screaming lunatic. And yet the rage that one felt was an abstract, undirected emotion which could be switched from one object to another like the flame of a blow-lamp. Thus, at one moment Winston’s hatred was not turned against Goldstein at all, but, on the contrary, against Big Brother, the Party, and the Thought Police; and at such moments his heart went out to the lonely, derided heretic on the screen, sole guardian of truth and sanity in a world of lies. And yet the very next instant he was at one with the people about him, and all that was said of Goldstein seemed to him to be true. At those moments his secret loathing of Big Brother changed into adoration, and Big Brother seemed to tower up, an invincible, fearless protector, standing like a rock against the hordes of Asia, and Goldstein, in spite of his isolation, his helplessness, and the doubt that hung about his very existence, seemed like some sinister enchanter, capable by the mere power of his voice of wrecking the structure of civilisation.” -George Orwell, 1984

The Soap Opera

Crying Girl

Maybe it’s getting to be too much, dear worst-reader. I really thought I could breeze through this little (personal) experiment without any damage. If so many others can do it, I thought, so can I. Or? Binge-viewing TV though isn’t turning out to be what I thought (it would be). But it is better than that binge-drinking experiment I tried so many years ago. Perhaps the reason for that is the TV day-time soap opera repackaged as a night-time pop TV series Mad Men. Is it starting to clog my mind? Or is it mixing well with what I find? Or is it the other way-round-round? Although I’m trying to keep it to no more than two shows a day, I’ve been at this experiment for about six weeks now and I just finished the fourth season. I know. Don’t bother with the math. Even when there are days I don’t watch it, it seems as though I did watch it. Wait. Am I preoccupied? Is my binge where I am? Or maybe it’s not that it’s there but instead it’s everywhere–the mentality that is the Soap Opera. Oh my. For worst-moi this is indeed binge-viewing–and I think I might be drunk on it. Or lost. Nomatter. The damage has been done. I mean, you know that things aren’t going well when you start associating other things like articles read on the Interwebnets that are supposed to be about real-life politics with what you saw an hour ago on a TV show. Which brings me to the article linked below. It seems that The Intercept/Greenwald has decided to merge with the centre of my binge-viewing confusion. And something tells me this (mis)merging isn’t my fault. That is. While reading the below linked article I couldn’t help but think about the re-invention (for millennial viewers) of the television soap opera. Seriously. The new & improved soap opera. For a whole culture of new viewers. And this is all that The Intercept/Greenwald has to offer? Oh wait. It has all the stolen documents by Edward Snowden–and I’m still waiting for something significant to come out of what the dream team of Snowden/Greenwald has sold the world. Until then–AS THE WORLD TURNS–I guess we wait and languish in our/the (soap opera) confusion. That said, this recent article by Greenwald is a real hum-dinger. And it’s no wonder that one (who is bingeing on Mad Men) could compare it to a TV soap. And so. Did you know, dear worst-reader, according to Greenwald/The Intercept that #americant is now angry with #germania because the one (or the other) is gawking at another’s wife? Wait. There’s more. Angela Merkel is having the illegitimate baby of a Venezuelan oil oligarch named Montoya de Schluckmann who was born in Illinois but migrated to Köln-Deutz via a love affair with a US Diplomat after a Bayer-Leverkusen executive, who was a spy for the NSA, died from an overdose of Tylenol given to him by Putin. And get this. President Obama has finally come out of the closet and declared a national day of mourning over the death of John Kerry’s love child that could have been the hope-chest of political relations between Berlin and Washington and a small island that was the inspiration for its name: Diego Garcia. Oh. And let’s not forget the new fangled conspiracy that was hatched recently between the UK and a bunch of drag queens in Brazil that would enable the mass media to ride with a scandalous news story where it would be revealed that the US government is in the business of spying on the (whole) world because a simpleton, misguided by his fail-upward parents, thought it cute to reveal all those silly power-points whereby telling us, again!, that the US government spies. Full stop (of the silliness). I guess. I can’t wait for the day when Greenwald/The Intercept does something more than just hosting a two-hundred-fifty million dollar wordpress website. Come on Greenwald. Give us something to run with. Finally. Please. Or maybe not. Rant on. -Tommi

When Dan Draper Meets His Girlfriend’s Boyfriend’s Husband After Giving Birth To Another Bastard Child He Loves Dearly* | The Intercept

*The real title of the article is: “US THREATENED GERMANY OVER SNOWDEN, VICE CHANCELLOR SAYS”, and maybe that’s even better than my above re-interpretation. Yeah, baby.

The Perpetual Childhood

Maher nails it again. And boy do I remember frat-houses. In fact, I lived in one for a whole freakin’ semester once. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made–other than deciding to try college at all. But there was one thing I learned about #americant after that experience. It’s not so much that these organisations serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever besides teaching young adults how to never really grow up. No. What frats (and sororities) do is simply prolong the inevitable. In fact, frats are the tip of the iceberg in this arena. The whole college industry is part of it, too. You can simply go from the room your parents provided you to another room they provide you and yet you stay in the mentality of being that same child–forever!–and all thanks to the profit centres of Americant (mis)education institutions. Hence, the college grads running the the show today know this all too well. I’m worst-writing, of course, about the Obamas and all of his staff, the Dubyas and all of his staff (and they were all older), probably all congressman and most certainly anyone that has a half-decently paid living standard working for a corporation. In fact, I’m not saying that people don’t learn anything in college. Obviously they do. And now most of the world can see clearly exactly what it is they’ve learned. I mean. What it is all these grads have done. Or? Nomatter. The cogs of the machine will continue on with: Greed. Empire. Terrorism. Belonging. Sentiment. Etc. And. Just look at the US government, American industry and corporations, banks, local communities, etc. Everybody is a child with a gun or too much money or too many houses or or or. Where do people learn this behaviour? Yeah. Infantilism is still far off in the future to being recognised as a disease. But that day will come eventually. And frat-boys will be the first to be treated. Or maybe not. Rant on. -t

Democracy Abortion

It never ceases to amaze (worst-moi), dear worst-reader. Examples abound in my grand and well-missed united mistakes. Sometimes finding them, though, can be difficult. That is, finding the mistakes that really stand out. Well–today we have a doozy. But is it a mistake? Here’s how it goes: in the great state of NH someone had the idear to allow fourth graders to see first hand how the legislative process works. This entailed drafting a bill that would be put up in the legislation for a vote. What the bill was about doesn’t matter–since it was put up by fourth graders. But here’s the thing. One of the many nutbag, batshit politicians that make up most state legislatures got up to say something about the bill. And what did he say? Of course this is what he said–because he is a nutbag, batshit politician. He said… Abortion. He said it in the face of fourth graders trying to learn a little civics. Indeed. The bill put forth by fourth graders was about making a bird a state emblem. But the nutbag, batshit politician saw it as an opportunity to turn it into a platform whereby he can promote his anti-abortion agenda. He even took the time to compare the bird that was being considered, which happens to be a raptor (a hunter), to being the same thing as an abortion. You know, a bird with claws and a sharp beak tears and rips its prey to pieces in order to eat it. And that’s the same as ripping a zygote, embryo or foetus from a womb. Right? Yeah. And. As usual. Only in #americant, baby. Good luck suckers. -t

New Hampshire Fourth-Graders Learn Vital Lesson In Cynicism From State Legislature.

Herr Cheap Customer

When do you know when you miss something? I assure you, dear worst-reader, you do not know you miss something when you no longer have it. Consumerism has raised me and I’ve learned to live with that. But there are things that become part of life even if they stem out of the triviality of consumerism. And so. This isn’t about not having access to all the colours of lego blocks. This is about the inalienable. Sell me your computers and tablets, smart phones and networking devices. I’ve proven I’ll buy them. When the profits from my purchase make you rich hold tight to your future. I want no part of you as long as you keep (you) to yourself. Stay in your golden cage of greed-monger and lust-lies. And look below you as we, the meek, traverse this/your world going about our bidness. It was proven long ago that the automobile didn’t just replace the horse & buggy. Instead. The car proved that mass mobility was/is something that we can not live without. Is that then by definition inalienable? Should there be roads even though nothing dictates GM make them? Oh. Inalienable. Let’s see.

not subject to being taken away from or given away by the possessor

Well, it happened to me. Not only did I buy a car where there are no roads but that car was delivered to me without wheels. What to do, eh? Reconsider? Move abroad? (Well, I guess I did that already.) It’s just that, when they take something away from you that is (should be) inalienable, how does that effect you? I know. Too many unanswered questions. Like where did that Malaysian plane go? And when I tried to work with the powers-that-be to get back what should be inalienable, this is all I got. A bunch of messages telling me to wait my turn because–just because–even though I’m a paying customer it doesn’t matter that I don’t get what I pay for. Your inalienable is directed by someone else, Dr. Sucker. Nomatter.

Below the daily bombardment of incompetence. Is it overwhelming? To think that this world could be annihilated by nuclear war really should pale compared to the level of ignorance that works and runs all the corporations of the world. Remember: all corporations are filled with automatons that believe they are where they are because of merit. Yet, who asks the question regarding the differences between having studied this or that or gotten an A or a D which then determines your position in life? For you see, dear worst-reader, this is how THEY get you. You actually believe that there is a difference between an A and a D as handed out by professor/teacher so-n-so and that there is merit behind what you do. Yet, like taxes where government do take a bite, these corpos control everything that should not be controlled. It should simply be. But what am I saying? Yes. Worst-what? Worst-service galore.

If you ever move to Germany and decide to get some Internet don’t use the company called 1&1. They really suck bat-balls. At least three times a year their service, out of the blue, just turns off and I’m stuck in nowhereland without Internet for days. When you call them to inquire as to why they aren’t holding up to their side of the bargain this all they can provided: NOTHING and a few SMSs that don’t make a bit of sense. Yeah. Five days without Internet is a bitch. And. Again. 1&1 sucks.

Wow. I am so pissed-off that I could go nuclear on the people that work at this useless, piece of krapp company. And to think that in Germania, centralised economy Germania, one has to sign a multi-year contract with a company in order to get Internet, well, I guess I’ve said it once or twice in this blog: Germany is the last bastion of communism in the west. This country is run by the worst sort of bureaucrat there is. And that’s not the worst of it. Unlike other western countries, there is no alternative to be a bureaucrat in Germania. Even if you are a high-paid executive at Mercedes, Lufthansa, Siemens, you are nothing but a cog in the wheel of a centralised nation-state. You are where you are because you happened to be in the right place at the right time. A hundred people could do what you do yet you got some place in this wheel/cog. And the rest of us get BS like SMSs telling us to wait our turn while Big Brother takes care of everything.

Did I mention I’m pissed? Did I mention that I hate centralised nation-states? Wow. This really sucks. But after five days of no service the cogs in the wheel gave me back my Internet connection. They gave me back my inalienable. And to them I still say: fuck you!

SMSs from 1&1 Germany:

(English translation: Dear cheap customer, we have received your service request regarding Internet outage. First. Sorry about that. Second. Wait your turn. Even though you have a contract with us that doesn’t mean we have to fulfil it. It only means you have to pay us. That’s what contracts are for in this pseudo social market communist state that you’ve been living in for the past twenty-five years. So just shut the fuck up and wait for us to turn your service back on when we’re ready. Your 1 & 1 team. Transaction # C520566445)

Donnerstag: Sehr geehrte cheap customer, wir haben Ihre Störungsmeldung erhalten. Zur Terminabsprache oder bei Neuigkeiten informieren wir/unsere Partner Sie. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)

Donnerstag: DSL funktioniert wieder. Hätte gern etwas Info über die Ursache dieses Problem. Bitte melden. Danke.

Freitag: Sehr geehrte cheap customer, in Ihrem Anschlussbereich haben wir einen Ausfall festgestellt, von dem mehrere Kunden betroffen sind. Bitte haben Sie etwas Geduld, wir arbeiten bereits an einer Lösung. Vielen Dank für Ihr Verständnis. Ihre 1&1

Samstag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), aktuell bearbeiten wir Ihre gemeldete DSL-Störung. Wir kontaktieren Sie umgehend, sobald wir neue Informationen für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)

Sonntag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), wir arbeiten weiterhin mit Hochdruck an der Entstörung Ihres 1&1 DSL-Anschlusses. Wir informieren Sie erneut, sobald wir Neuigkeiten für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)

Montag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), wir arbeiten weiterhin vorrangig an der Entstörung Ihres DSL-Anschlusses. Bitte entschuldigen Sie die Verzögerung. Wir kontaktieren Sie erneut, sobald wir Neuigkeiten für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)

Rant on. -tommi

Mutant Heroin

happy mutant baby pills coverToday something new, dear worst-reader. I started this book about two weeks ago. I managed to read the first fifty pages, which, according to the on my iPad, is 20% of the book. I know. That’s not much. Which also means I shouldn’t write anything about this book. But. Again. This is why having a blog no one reads is a privilege in itself–and worst-writing practice like no other. And so. I stopped reading Happy Mutant Baby Pills for one reason and one reason only. On about page forty-six I said to myself,

Self, If I read the word heroin one more time…

And I read it about twenty more times until page fifty. That was last Sunday. Haven’t opened the book since. Even though I’ve heard this and that about it, read a few reviews about it, and finally broke down to put it on my reading list after hearing a tech blog mention it (, I decided last Sunday to give it up. Of course, it’ll remain in my Kindle library and maybe someday, when I feel like reading something from someone that obviously has no idear what he/she’s writing about (heroin) I’ll give it another go. Till then, gee, Jerry Stahl read Burroughs and from that he figured out what drugs are about and also how to integrate that “knowledge” in a book. I guess. And to think I, worst-writer, figured out long ago that even Burroughs was bullshitting about drugs. And so. My silly attempt at worst-writing something Burroughs-see, where a character playing cupid with his girlfriend got mixed-up and instead played William Tell, thereby shooting her in the face with a modified .32 caliber Luger when he was aiming for an apple on her head, well, this is that and that is this. I will hand it to Jerry Stahl about one thing. The man can write. This is obviously some serious writing. Writing for an audience that hasn’t already read Burroughs foray into glorifying heroin. I guess. Whatever.

Rant on. -t

Limit Your Exposure

There is some seriously good writing going on in TV these days. More worst-writing on that here. But like all good writing, it seems it takes me longer than most to get to it. Or maybe not. Nomatter. My better half watched six seasons of Mad Men last year. When we got the DVDs the plan was to watch it together. For reasons that I won’t go in to, I wasn’t able to get through the first show of the first season. Let’s just say that a TV show about the origin of #americant and our consume-to-survive, winner take all, fascist society… plus my connection to advertising (in a past life), was a bit much. And. Yeah. I got that out of the first fifteen minutes of S01E01 of Mad Men. That said. I didn’t give up on the show. I mean, come on, I ripped six seaons of it to our media library. And so. It has lingered with me all the while–because it’s obvious there is some level of quality here. Oh well. Better late than never. Or?

I started binge watching Mad Men about three weeks ago. Depending on the weather, the drinks the night before, the performance required by my better-half, I’ve been able to get through two or three shows a day. And guess what? I’m ok with this show. Seriously. In fact, this is one heck of a TV show. I mean. Come on. How are THEY doing it? How is it that ambitious producers, seeing the opportunity of too many channels on TVs across America are able to come up with of this sort of show? The answer, dear wrost-reader, is quite simple.

First, let’s start with what this show really is. Mad Men, in essence, is nothing original. It is, in fact, a regurgitated soap opera from day-time television. I suppose this would be the right moment to say that when I was a kid I watched day-time TV. I remember Days Of Our Lives, As The World Turns or Young And The Resless. Well, I didn’t really watch those shows. What I did was, when I came home from middle school, I watched my mom watch her “story” while I had my after-school milk and cookies and my mom smoked her Marlboro reds chased with a glass of coke and a nip of rum. In fact, to this day, my mom takes an hour every afternoon to watch her story–although she’s long since quit Marlboro. Now. With that in mind, and with the knowledge that day-time television is the worst of the worst of TV broadcasting, how is that producers are able to put together shows like this that do nothing more than copy the past?

I have no f’n clue!

But I will say this. As unoriginal as this stuff is–heck, add some violence to it, Mad Men is the same as The Sopranos or Game of Thrones–the thing that makes this shows worth (binge) watching is one thing and one thing only. The writing. And I’m not talking about the writing of what the characters/actors say. But the whole production is so well put together that there are moments I pause in the middle to grab a hammer to close my open mouth. I sit there in awe at how some scenes evolve, how they are so beautifully crafted that I stop breathing so that nothing interupts what I just experienced. Take for example the following scene.

Setup: Mad Men S03E01 “Out of Town”. Dan Draper and Sal Romano are on a business trip to (I think) Baltimore. Dan is womanizing a stewardess in his hotel room. A bus boy has come up to Sal’s room to fix the air conditioner. I believe this is the first time in the show Sal’s “coming out” breaks the forth wall. But here’s where the fun begins. These encounters are interupted by a hotel fire alarm. Dan and the stewardess immediately head down the outer fire-escape and thereby pass Sal’s room below. Dan sees Sal sqirmishing to get his pants on while the bus boy also dresses. Sal and Dan’s eyes meet. I guess in a day-time soap some silly drama music would play here. But the writers leave it at that until the two men are on the plane home.

Scene: Airplane in flight. Sal, preoccupied, reaches over and pushes up the sun screen of the window revealing a blue sky. Dan is leaning back, asleep in his chair next to Sal. Dan wakes up.

Dan: What time is it?

Sal: (Looking at his watch.) One-fifteen.

Dan: (Still leaning back.) We should be back in the office by three.

Sal: (Preoccupied, concerned.) You going back to the office? (Dan nods.)

Dan: (Pause. Moves his seat back-rest forward and leans over toward Sal. Sal looks worried at Dan.) I’m gonna ask you something. And I want you to be completely honest with me. (Sal, still worried, nods.) London Fog. It’s a subway car. And there’s a commuter… looking up. And there’s a girl with her back to us. She’s wearing one of those short tan ones but it’s open. We know what he sees. (Pause.) Limit your exposure.

Sal: (Pause. Nodding, relieved.) That’s it.

(Pause. Sal cracks a smile. Then Dan cracks the same smile. Both men are relieved.)

Dan: (Upbeat.) Good. (Dan leans back in his seat.) -end-

“Limit your exposure” of course is Dan’s way of telling Sal to stay in the closet but also, the way this scene pans out, shows that Dan’s OK with what he saw the night before. Sal also knows he has nothing to worry about by going back to the office when their plane arrives. Obviously Sal doesn’t want his sexual orientation to get back to the macho office environment–which up to now has only been exposed to homosexualitly in the form of a heavy accented character from Russia that had no qualms admitting that he likes “the sex with the men”. Without a doubt this scene is on my list of scenes I wish I could talk to the authors about how it was put together. But I reckon that’ll never happen.

And one final thought. As I praise the writing of TV shows like Mad Men, etc. I also want to be clear that I am very critical of them, too. One of the things that really bothers me about Mad Men is that there is only one accredited author in the show. It is obvious that the secret to writing anything half-way decent for TV is dependent solely on the number of talented but obviously starving writers that have to turn to this type of work to sustain their consume-to-survive lives. With that in mind, I’m very proud and content to be a failed writer who resorts to binge watching the worst of the best of TV after ripping it to my media library and only writes for a blog read by three people a day. At least I will always be able to claim that I worst-wrote all my own stuff–and it would be true. But I guess that’s the world we all live in, eh? Money talks for the writer of Mad Men, bullshit walks for the rest of us. The world and I would be fine, if not better-off, if shows like this didn’t exist. Oh well. So much for the fight. Smoke if you got ’em. And. I’m all for limiting exposure.

Rant on. -Tommi

Kings or Churches

Ever wonder how a king is made? I mean, how does a monarchy come to be? How does it get its power? Who makes those gold calf crowns? I know. I know. History tells us that monarchs usually are rich, have even more rich friends, including lots of wannabe rich people–and then there are the rest who simply can’t get enough of the lure of The Kennedys, Diana, royal weddings. Hence monarchies exist. Poof! Seriously, dear worst-reader. I’ve been living in #eurowasteland for too long. You wanna know the thing that really gets under my skin after living in this place so long? The answer, btw, is the one thing that makes Europeans so relatable to Americans, hence Americans inventing monarchies in the form of deformed families aka The Kennedys. The thing that gets under my skin are Euro monarchies–even though I live in a Euro-Borough that supposedly doesn’t have a monarchy. Accentuate the supposedly. I’m almost sure, if given the chance/opportunity, the Huns would find themselves a monarch toot-suite. That said. Come on. It’s twenty-fucking-fifteen. Monarchies still strap Europe to the waste-heap of history like nothing else. If you look long and hard at these jovial houses of inbreeding, it’s a wonder that Europe has lasted this long while trying to assume its new role as alternative #1 consume-heaven (to #americant). And do you know why these monarchies have lasted this long? The answer lies somewhere between the Jungian monarchial archetype and the yellow press with page three big tits. That’s basically it. The plebes need something above and beyond their measly lives that give them at least some form of meaning. And now that the Euro is practically a failure, at least a failure in the Burroughs with monarchies (gee, where’s that irony come from) what’s left for Europe–and its plebes? The people in Europe and America are nothing more than working stiffs day-in and day-out. Other than the work done, the money earned, people today are nothing more than Automatons–they are the blue-dressed Winston Smiths. What is there for these people to do above and beyond breathing, peeing, procreating? Indeed, dear worst-reader. The females justifies their existence by perfectly surfing a juxtaposition between lust object and breeder. The male justifies his existence by keeping his mouth shut and doing what his job tells him what to do so that he can maintain a license for putting that damn penis somewhere every once-a-once. And so. What does all this have to do with the article linked below–which motivated this post? Everything and nothing, dear worst-reader. For you were warned on my About page. This site is maintained by compulsion. And not just the compulsion to write as though I hate every teacher that tried to teach me (to write). No. Indeed. The compulsion is something very different. It is, perhaps, something Jungian. But not as Jungian as Eurowasteland monarchies. That said, it’s always been a question lingering in the back of my head regarding the conflict in Northern Ireland. How is it that this conflict can go on for hundreds of years and yet so few people must face it? We all face the conflicts in the middle-east. Heck, we all face the conflicts of the cold-war. We’re even facing the conflicts in Ukraine. And we do all this more than we face Northern Ireland. Why is that? Could it be because all the conflicts mentioned here ultimately have nothing to do with monarchies–but Northern Ireland does? Down with all monarchies. Humanity, please, get over yourself. Move on. Get rid of these inbreds and freaks. Find your own meaning. Or maybe not. But I digress. Rant on.

Where the Bodies Are Buried – The New Yorker.

Learn How Not Write

kings deception cover

What be a secret if it cannot be revealed? -Steve Berry, The King’s Deception

The reading list is long, dear worst-reader. So long, in fact, that I’l probably never get through all the books listed on it. I found myself recently trying to weasel out of some reads because I’m either no longer interested in the subject matter or I’m lazying-out in my old age. I also noticed last fall after reviewing the list that there were more non-fiction books than fiction. Or is it the other-way ’round? I’m (obviously) confused. Nomatter. I’ve been reading too many historical novels lately. Or maybe not.

Finished The King’s Deception last night. Luckily it took me only few days to get through it. Other than the sometimes silly attempt at following a formula and/or fulfilling a genre’s requirements, this was a pretty slick read. On the other hand, unbeknownst to moi, it is the perfect read for showing worst-writer how NOT to write. And NOT writing (finishing) novels is my speciality. Not that I could write like this anyway. It’s just that, whether at the beginning, middle or end, there was never a moment in the book where I didn’t feel as though one could superimpose the pages of a John Grisham or (Aghast!) Dan Brown on top of it and the reader would never know the difference. Hence, pop-lit, eh worst-reader? And that’s saying a lot since I try to steer away from this kinda krapp.

“But Tommi, aka worst-writer, if you don’t like this type of novel why you read it?” 

 Good question grasshopper. The answer to that is simple. I read it because I heard somewhere that Steve Berry was very good at history-telling and story-telling. Indeed. Mr. Berry is obviously very good–and he can spell, too. As far as the thriller part of the novel goes, well–to be honest–I skimmed through most of that. What really stands out in this book is the history-telling. In fact, the history telling is the real thrill. And since I now know how to read Berry’s Cotton Malone books, I might even considering skimming through another one or two. Or maybe not.

Warning: spoiler alert! Double warning: time to get real! 

The story evolves around a conspiracy-theory regarding Queen Elizabeth I. It goes something like this: she was a man. Ok. That’s all fine and good. But this conspiracy is revealed fairly early in the book. That’s when I realised there’s something more to Berry than meats his ka-ching pages. Indeed. Something really neat-o-torpedo happens in this piece of genre krapp. Berry, while fiddling around with British history, finds a way to provide the reader–that’s interested–in one of the best and concise narrations I’ve ever read that explains the origin of the conflict in Northern Ireland. And Berry does that while shooting up, blowing up and trying to tell a soap-opera-like family values story. Seriously. There are nuggets of historical information trapped inside this banal thriller that really threw me for a loop. You know what else threw me for a loop, dear worst-reader? There wasn’t one sex scene in the whole book. If anyone were ever to ask me to explain why Northern Ireland is so screwed up, I could do it in a few sentences thanks to Steve Berry. And if anyone were ever to ask me how someone can write a novel, you know a piece of writing that tries to develop human characters in the readers mind, and thereby not having an iota of sex in it… Jezz. What’s the point?

But I digress. 

I know what you’re saying, dear worst-reader. But it’s not true. I do not dislike this book. Ok. I do dislike this book. Just like I dislike the mindless krapp written by other genre, write a book to make money selling pages, publisher-books. But hey: ka-ching, right? I mean, if I actually sat down and tried to write something like this I would throw up before getting to the second page. In every word written in this book there is nothingness. Yet it is a book–like so many before it. The only thing that makes the the book worthwhile is that it probably helps readers get through a vacation or full-fills a compulsion to read one’s self to sleep. And I’m not criticising that. If this is what readers want, so be it. (Oh no–I’m finally the failed writer critic that I never wanted to be.) Heck, even I got through it–and read most of it during the day. And I’m better-off having done it. Seriously. I like learning stuff–even if it hurts in the process. Yeah, baby. As of last night I read another publisher’s book. I read a book that fits perfectly into an industry. A piece of work that has absolutely zero literary value–but at least help me NOT have to read through lots of books on history. So I guess that makes me a reader-gangsta, eh. Yeah. It’s good to fail like I do and be reminded by the likes of Steve Berry what the publishing world is really about. But then again, if only I could…

tom dick harry saw a blue sky above and then came sally with her big tits

May failed worst-writer’s everywhere get some Ka-ching someday. Or maybe not (in this life).

Rant on. -Tommi

Über Reaction Sloth

The new Clinton scandal is winding down, dear worst-reader. (Sarcasm on.) Are you as disappointed as I how this has turned out? I mean, if you’re a republican and/or US government hater, then this has to be a disappointment on a grand scale. Or? (Sarcasm almost off.) Nomatter. I’m sure the ideological nut-bags that have turned #americant politics into the freak show it has become by seeking scandal for political gain will find something new soon enough. Until then, of course, let’s continue to worst-write about this scandal because it’s about Hillary just like we did here and here and thereby hope that the end is neigh or not. First. Below are the articles that in part motivated this post. Second. The other part that motivated this post is/was trying to find a comparison between what supposedly Hillary Clinton had done and how others might have done something similar. I mean, come on, this scandal does smell familiar, doesn’t it? Highly classified government information, although not leaked, might be leaked–(sarcasm still on)–in an alternate universe and someone needs to pay for their heresy… I mean disloyalty… I mean treason. Full stop. Breath. ¶There isn’t all that much originality in scandal hunting these days, dear worst-reader. But if you look you will find. For example. While considering the idear that Hillary Clinton was running her own email server while Secretary of State, which isn’t necessarily and insecure thing to do, has there been any other example of government insecurity run amok? Gee. I don’t know. How ’bout Edward Snowden? No? I guess the US has dealt with him by forcing him into exile–in Russia. (Stop me from laughing, please.) Wait. No. Snowden ain’t good enough. Thank goodness there’s something much better than Edward Snowden when it comes to comparing Hillary’s evil deed to other perpetrators. Yeah. ¶The real comparison is with former Army commander turned head of the CIA David Petraeus. Smell the hypocrisy yet? For all practical purpose, Petraeus was literally caught with his pants down. The man handed over passwords to his CIA email account to his hot-body biographer with whom he also had an affair. And for doing that, what will happen to him? Will he be persecuted in the media? No. Will he be sent hate email and hate tweets? No. Will there be a huge hoopla over his congressional subpoenas? No. Will he be called a bitch? Of course not. Just regular media coverage about how the man is actually a hero and how he served his country well but has fallen from grace. Well. I worst-guess that’s what life is all about when you’re part of an alternate universe. Either that or you get a slap on the hand and go ’bout your bidness. ¶But. Yet. What if you’re Hillary Rodham Clinton? What happens then (other than evil tweets and being called a bitch)? I mean. Seriously. Consider it. David Petraeus has been found guilty of a federal crime because he made highly classified information available while his zipper was down. The man’s not even going to jail. And what will happen to Hillary Clinton–who hasn’t actually broken any laws or given out any highly classified material? Yeah, baby. American hypocrisy at his best. But I digress. Rant on. -Tommi

Links of potential interest:

Why Clinton’s Private Email Server Was Such a Security Fail | WIRED.

House Committee Subpoenas Clinton Emails In Benghazi Probe | AP

Double Standard On Government Secrets | LA Times

America’s Injustice Nightmare Between Petraeus And Ferguson | Salon

Petraeus Reaches Plea Deal Over Giving Classified Data To His Lover | NYT

Female Quota

I know. It’s not right of me to go around (these Interwebnets) claiming I’ve been able to semi-retire before fifty all on my own. I’ve had a little help in this deed in the form of my better half. Although we both agreed that she wouldn’t be my benefactor, since I still pursue worst-writing as a career (especially as a worst ghost writer), she certainly does make my other pseudo keep-me-busy careers worthwhile. That’s right, dear worst-reader. I’m not only a semi-retired (from working for the man!) worst-(ghost-)writer but, as supplement to this life of pseudo-luxury, I’m also a part-time luggage carrier, pug sitter and all-around husband-of-the-house. Where would my better half and moi be if I didn’t carry her luggage to all those wonderful destinations we travel to three or four times a year? Where would her pug be if I didn’t wipe the beasts nose and clean the snot out of its eyes three times a day? Still. That said. I truly believe that in order to solve ninety-nine percent of the world’s problems, all that must be done is to fully empower the human female so that the law protects her just as ignorance and force has protected males throughout history. But how would such a “law” be? Would it have to be a written, nation-state sanctioned law? Would it have to be a moral law–one that counters all the religious nut-baggery that we have today? Or should it be a law, mostly established by shaming men, that simply establishes a quota? Well, dear worst-reader, I suppose the answer to that can now be found in Germania. Indeed. In Germania, the place where intolerance is a well hidden core of society, the males that run the show think they have found the solution to centuries of wrong-doing. They have set a quota to help human females find some form of equality at the boardroom level of the corporate mega-state. Wow. That sounds so… unglaublich und fortgeschritten. Or maybe not. Good luck anyways, baby. Rant on. -t

German parliament to vote on quotas for women on company boards | News | DW.DE | 06.03.2015.

Mudfish Misdirected

While so many freaked-out over the recent revelations that Hillary Rodham Clinton, former US Secretary of State and possible 2016 presidential candidate (Dem), might have bent the law regarding her private ownership of government emails, worst-writer was sitting on the banks of a muddy river contemplating what need be done. Indeed. Worst-writer tends to take a different path when it comes to criticising and analysing government dysfunction. And so. Before it could even be established if Clinton did anything wrong, all the same folk that tried to noose her for Benghazi hoped they hit gold with the fact that she was tech savvy enough to run her own secure email servers. Now that their hopeful schadenfreude has been misdirected, where should one look for real and true examples of government dysfunction? Obviously the halls of Congress is a great place to start. But somehow, the way those halls are plastered in the faces of the clueless minions through talking heads and corporate media, how should one break out from the rigamarole? The obvious but trivial answer is: have no fear, worst-writer is here. The more profound fascist question is: get off your ass and throw your arm under the surface of the muddy water. Seek out with your hand the resting hole of that mudfish that is your life. Once you find a hole stick your arm so far down into it that the beast doesn’t know what’s hit it. And then stick your arm down its throat till its lips can latch on to your bicep. Yeah. Deeper. Grab it by its innards and then start to yank till your arm with a mudfish attached to it emerges for all your redneck reactionaries to see. And when you stand there with your front and back stained trousers, watching your little missy dance on the shore line, proud of her man, all you can think to do is cross your heart, hope to die, and start that prayer of allegiance to the dangling titties underneath American flags. And when your done, after you’ve cleaned yourself up, get out there and try, for the first time in your life, to think for yourself. Cause you are the mudfish catcher, motherfucker. Then, only then, might you come across something that actually reveals who and what you are once you step away from those muddy waters. Yeah, baby. It’s out there, dear worst-reader. It really is. More than the mudfish, more than the muddy water, more than those luscious titties. The information that might help you find answers to all those questions that you’ve allowed pundits to answer for you. The answers that made America the place it is today. Fail upwards. Race to the bottom. This is the end. Hence, check out the article below if you want to see the true face of what’s wrong with everything–and what stands in natural opposition to the fancy of more Clinton heresy. In fact, when you put the effort into it, the information you may find can be so compelling that you might shed a tear or three once you realise you’ve done something worthwhile on your own. You know what I found out recently after catching my mudfish? I found out that the man-boys are starting to eat themselves. Or have they started that long ago? Nomatter. The republican ranks, the political party that is the mostest responsible for facilitating political conservatism that is today’s #americant, kills itself because of childish name-calling. Can you believe it? I can. And so. These people are running the show and I bet not one of them could actually run their own email server–even if they paid someone to do it. But they could catch mudfish for all the wrong reasons. Rant on. And good luck suckers. -t

‘Politics Gone Hideously Wrong’: Anti-Semitic Bullying Said to Contribute to a Missouri Official’s Recent Suicide | Alternet.

Slap In The Face

hillary for president top gear

Warning: This post is NSFW. For more on the current Hillary scandal winding down go here. ¶Recent email exchange with an Old Friend got a bit heated, dear worst-reader. Thought I’d share it with you as I tried to do with similar posts here and here. The subject at hand is the recent revelation that Hillary Rodham Clinton, the speculative current front-runner for the 2016 presidential election and former Secretary of State, might have broken some laws/rules regarding her use of emails. Yeah, baby. This scandal is starting to emerge as another Clinton doozy. Which is cool. I find almost any type of scandal involving the Clintons to be hi-larry-us. It’s not so much what the scandals are about but more who the people are that try to turn these scandals into something they are not. Seriously. What really turned me into a Clinton fanboy is the scandal-doozy of them all. The blowjob, the stained blue dress, the cigar! Mr. Bullet-Proof himself pulled that one off like nobody could. Hat’s off to ya Bubba Clinton. Alone the money spent on trying to convict Bill Clinton for perjuring himself for a personal transgression that took place between consenting adults should be the ultimate message as to how low a nation-state can sink. Or? Or let me put it another way. I think Bill Clinton is one of the greatest professional politicians ever (accentuate the word professional, please). At the 2012 democratic convention he gave one of the greatest political endorsement speeches ever! Does that mean I love this guy? Does that mean I think the Clinton’s are perfect? Of course not. These people are (accentuate) professional politicians. As far as their policies go, I hate the fact that Bill was unable to prevent the incorporation of the US government–that is, prevent the merging of big corporations and government. Nor was I a fan of Bill’s foreign policy. Yet if one considers the record, that is, comparably speaking, considering economic and domestic policy, Bill really wasn’t all that bad. Without Bill Clinton there probably would not have been a tech revolution. And while everyone bitches and moans about government, is it anywhere noted that the largest government expansion since FDR happened after Bubba–thanks to a republican nutjob prez? Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want Bill or his wife on a pedestal. But within the context of where America has been and is projecting to go, and how complacent US voters are, seems to me there should be a lot of Das Volk out there thanking there lucky stars there’s still a Clinton around. Or maybe not. Whatever. But I digress.

Rant on. -t


Hillary Clinton Used Personal Email Account at State Dept., Possibly Breaking Rules –

NYT Drops Bombshell On Clinton’s Use of Private Email |

Hillary Clinton Ran Homebrew Computer System For Emails | HuffPost

Note: The email exchange below took place within the last few days. My dear old friend no longer lives in the US–like me, albeit a bit late, he’s found a way out of the nuthouse–and now he lives somewhere wonderful in Asia. The timeline of this exchange starts at the bottom and moves up. Good luck.


Yea, right dude, I think every government head of every department should also get a slush fund to farm out their own little fiefdoms, server farms, private plane, and why not make sure they have a few “non-profits” on the side run by their family members to take in the slush money coming from the corporate sector for favours coming from their inside connections and little clans and oh, yea, why not give them private communications devises and why stop there, they should have their own private security, I mean yea, we should pay for that to, fuck the secret service… they can’t be trusted, small armies are better… And why stop there…

Your Old Friend

Dear Old Friend, 

The Clinton email scandal has already taken a turn, old friend. Can’t wait to hear your… reaction to this one. Clinton set up her own personal email servers at her friggin house! The only thing holding me back from doing the same thing is the fact that my current internet connection’s upload speed is too slow. When my better-half and I finally move, though, and we can get a connection that’s fast enough, I’m hosting my own email servers and my own website servers. 

I want a prez and an elitist that is this ontop of technology, dude! No laws broke. Smarts prevailed. This is badass man. Clinton rocks!



So, like, what are we talking about now? Ok. Whatever. Since you ran a business you should know best how America is a business. It’s not a country. Why would you expect politicians to do anything on your behalf? ( Assuming that’s what you want?) The constitution protects money-interests (period). You do know that, right? Are you part of those interests, Old Friend? What fight do you think you’re fighting with FUCK HATE FUCK and complaining about library donations? Clinton pulled the wool over conservatives and I hope she continues. Yeah. Hillary for prez! May The Clinton family reign–until your bitchin’ has something better to offer.



I HATE to think that H. Clinton would ever be president!!  What the FUCK.  Bush, Clinton, Bush, Clinton (Oh yea the obligatory minority thrown in there).  Do you hear what you are saying, Dude?  What the FUCK?  Besides, I am not about the politics behind this email thing.  I ran a company, I run organizations, I understand how many levels what she did was crazy and I would fire dozens of people over this and basically put her in jail.  The $500,000 “gift” from an African nation to the Clinton “library” or whatever is just a tip of the iceberg.  This is one corrupted family. Remember, Bush Sr. said Mr. President Clinton was “like another son” to him.  Yea, you go for that complete bitch and the legacy of 1/2 of our adult lives run by a couple families and look in the mirror and tell yourself that there is any kind of democracy left in that country.

Whatever man,  I don’t need a chill pill, this is not politics, it’s real BS and it is a blanket representation of what is totally wrong with the US government at every level.

Your Old Friend

Dear Old Friend, 

Ok. Things are getting heated. Just like old times. Right. Btw, I read the article. I understand the seriousness of the allegations. But that is all they are right now. I will not over-react to them. Complaining about the ruling “elites” is also a bit whacked out for me at this point. I will wait to see, like the Benghazi conspiracy before it—and, btw, just like those same nut-bags tried to stir back in the 90s with “Whitewater”–who and what is trying to turn a mouse into an elephant. The way the article is written is suspicious at best and is most-likely one of those typical NYT reports made by moles from ideologue pundits. The article even mentions that private email use is allowed but is not supposed to be used for work because that prevents curators of history from codifying what government officials do. Gee, who would think about looking into Clinton’s private email use as a political tool? I wouldn’t be surprised if Clinton comes out and defends herself on that basic premise plus the fact that she felt this private email account would be safer for her while swimming in a shark-infested neocon government post dipshit Dubya pool! My prediction is this will turn into just another attempt by the rightwing to slander Clinton because she is the democratic front-runner. FYI. I want Clinton for Prez for the simple reason that she would represent a major slap in the face to post Reagan, religious nutbaggery, neocon idiocy that has caused America to be the lead in the race to the bottom of the twenty-first century. Failing upwards, man. There’s not stopping it. Yeah. Fail upwards. And. When was there a time without minions being ruled by elites? When was there a time when power didn’t corrupt? Come to this part of the world. Got a chill-pill for ya. 


If you read the article, questions have been asked for a long time about why she was using a private email.  Dude, this issue is all there is to “overreact” to.  This is absolutely crazy, irresponsible and shows at the core how the Clinton’s think of themselves part of the global elite and above even the most basic security rationale and that they have no sense of responsibility to the public they supposedly represent.  I mean there are so many layers of how this is bad there is no place to even start!!  Dude, the total irresponsibility of this alone, let alone the total incomprehensible privacy when dealing with de US foreign policy and corruption all of the world.  You have no idea of the level of self enrichment that can happen with someone in that power being able to communicate completely out of the reigns of public accountability and on top of that, this also suggest Clinton did not want her email to be “read” by the multiple spy agencies that monitor everything.  I mean, the US government is not even able to create firewall’s between departments and to keep political policy out of the reach of idiots in spy or defence?  Dude, I could write a dissertation on how wrong this is, how many levels this kind of behavior speaks to the attitude of Clinton, the attitude of the other people running the country to allow it to happen and the sheer ignorance of allowing something like this to happen in the United States!!  This kind of behavior is expected in ex Colonial countries where the elites run and live in a separate world with complete disdane for their population at large… This is not expected from the Sec of State of the US… Dude, for you to even suggest this is not wrong on every level humanly conscientiously imaginable makes me very concerned indeed.  Maybe a year in a place like (insert place outside US here) will wake up someone to what abuse of power, utter corruption at every level and elitism by those with access to power really is.  I am awake man, and this should be punished at every level and the idiots that run security and who are responsible for the security of the US should figure out this should never happen again!!!

This is NOT about politics.. I have to repeat this a million times… This is about total irresponsibility, elitism, complete lack of control/oversight/accountability…

Your Old Friend

Dear Old Friend,

No need to over-react. There seems to be a lot of that lately. Be patient and wait and see who takes the reins that will politicise this. If she exposed sensitive material and that can be proven then she might be toast. But here’s the rational question at hand: who, how and why was this info given to NYT?


Dude, this is absolutely amazing.  This is not politics.  This is real issue!  To have the Sec of State using private email like that is absolutely criminal, allows self enrichment, exposes policies to hackers and criminals etc.  You have not idea how crazy this is.

Your Old Friend

Dear Old Friend,

We’ll see what comes of this but my guess is it’s nothing. Or at best another attempt to smear Clinton because she’s gonna run for prez. Remember they couldn’t get her on Benghazi.


Hi Tom,

Talk about everything that’s wrong with everything that’s wrong with everything that’s wrong with a secretary of state of the US using a private email account exclusively for 4 years!!! Dude, there is like everything that’s wrong with everything that’s wrong with everything that’s wrong with this!!!

I mean, Snowden? He is an angel compared to this!!! Shit, so is Wikileak’s Assange. I mean this is sanctioned by the US government? The same one that is spying on every damn person in the world? Who the FUCK allowed this and WHO the FUCK will get fired or put in jail for it?

If not, the US is totally FUCKED and the government is WORTHLESS at every imaginable level one could imagine!!

Your Old Friend


Spock's Eden

My all-time favourite Star Trek is from the original series, S03E20, The Way To Eden. In it, the Enterprise picks up a group of space hippies looking for a place they call Eden. While the crew deal with the dramas of space travel, this is the first show where certain realities of Federation life are questioned. Seriously. I used to ask all the time, Tommi, what is earth like when space and time can be traversed at will? What does replicated food taste like? If there’s no money, how then do people consume or keep Apple so rich? How much does the crew of Enterprise, all four-hundred or so, get it on with each other? I mean, do they date, flirt and have lots of mixed one-night stands? I was so disappointed in the TNG series where they all seemed to live on a ship like they would live in suburban hell #americant that I almost lost all my space cookies. But I digress. The thing about The Way To Eden was that the twenty-third century wasn’t as ideal as Roddenberry had made it out to be. That is, these hippies weren’t just out looking for a new place to hang-out and dance naked, but instead were looking for a way out of The Federation. Which meant, it wasn’t so perfect after all. But. Again. I digress. For this post, dear worst-reader, isn’t about not finding utopia. Instead it is about how the recent death of Leonard Nimoy reminded me of the black & white 13″ TV that was in my childhood room. I was also reminded of the clay and sticks I used to play with where I made a Phaser that really worked, pointy ears that I could never get to stick, a strange mix of wood and clay that I used to make a fully functional communicator and I even tried to staple together some cardboard and string to recreate that strange harp Spock plays in S03E20. Hey! I even had a blue t-shirt that I wore when I went outside to explore new worlds and seek out new civilisations. I knew all the kids in middle-school that couldn’t make the Vulcan #LLAP hand sign. And years later, after I had long forgotten those wonderful TV shows, I found myself back in the realm of The Federation with all the fantastic movies–except for Star Trek V – The Final Frontier, which was mis-directed by W. Shatner. Heck! I watched every TNG show, too. It took me a few years but I finally warmed up to Voyager. In each of these re-starts of the wonderful original, I loved it every time a new character mentioned Admiral Spock or Über-Admiral James T. Kirk and their well-studied manoeuvres or learned strategies and tactics. I thoroughly enjoyed all the TNG movies, too, and am still disappointed that there will be no Voyager film. And then came the re-start of Star Trek directed by J.J. Abrams. Boy was I skeptical when I heard about this. How can they make it any better than The Voyage Home or First Contact or, my all-time favourite, The Wrath of Khan? Yet there I sat in a cinema with my son who was always bored when I tried to get him to watch at least some of the original series. But that’s neither here nor there. I cried my eyes out at how Abrams made the connection between Kirk and Spock in his re-start. Even though the rest of the movie followed the atypical re-start formula of action above all else, the relationship between these two characters grabbed me. I was truly devastated when Spock died in The Wrath of Khan. I can’t write enough about how touched I was during that dying moment at the end of the movie. Such a banal scene yet so profound for anyone that admires this level of masterful entertainment and the way Shatner and Nimoy pulled it off. I also have to admit, the way they brought Spock back was über-cheesy in The Search For Spock. But in 2010, when I finally saw the re-start of Star Trek, I forgot everything that was cheesy, including William Shatner’s sometimes ridiculous acting. My only hope is that Spock in the re-starts will continue on as an equal to Kirk or, even better, set above him. Spock was/is everything Star Trek. I think even Gene Roddenberry once said that Spock is the soul of Star Trek. I couldn’t agree more. Nor can it be said enough that Leonard Nimoy did more than just play this character. Any decent actor can play a character. What Nimoy did was more. He created, embodied, facilitated this character and he did so by saying to hell with typecasting. The imagination of millions of people is better off because of Leonard Nimoy. RIP. Rant on. -t

Old Days New Days

Go ‘head. Spot me. Why? Because I’m not afraid to admit something. Here it goes. I watch Rachel Maddow. As far as political pundits and prognosticators go, I actually find her quite info-taining to watch. Looks like now, though, I’ll only be able to listen to her. The powers that be–and I feel safe in assuming that those powers are the NBC powers–have removed her video feed. What? Buying her book wasn’t enough to give me the right(s) to view her video feed? Nomatter. I didn’t think much of her book anyway. Which brings me to the following question: why is it that creators of content from the olden days will never understand how content should be managed in these new days? All that’s left of Maddow is her audio podcast on iTunes. What? The video feed too much work? Can’t fit it in your budget? Cost cutting got the best of you? Oh. Sure. We can now view her video feed on her website only. Which means… Eeck! Ads. Plus. I’m in #eurowasteland. Like the dumb-asses at SNL or the Daily Show, I probably won’t be able to view the video feed because I’m not in any advertising zone of the lower-fifty. And that makes this kind of a bummer. Maddow is actually part of my weekly morning routine–because that’s when iTunes downloads her on this side of the pond. And so. I usually start my days between 5-6am. While my first cup of Earl Grey is brewing I proceed to check if three or two people have viewed my blog, emails and a few other RSS feeds. Then it’s off to the Interwebnet print news. During this, though, Maddow is usually whining in the background and every once-a-once I could look up and wonder at her lovely tom-boyish-ness. But that’s neither here nor there. The thing that gets me about this is the reason the powers-that-be do this sort of thing. Obviously money is at play–either that or laziness. When one considers where media capitalists are today, then obviously both of the above determine whether or not I get to view online video content as it was meant to be viewed. That’s not saying that I don’t think some content is worth paying for or even watching ads for. It’s just that this show is first and foremost a TV show. That means it already has an established income stream. Trying to milk a stream that’s not there is not very bright on the part of producers–so they figure 1) why should they put up the video for free or 2) since advertisers won’t pay for viewers that cannot buy their products, there’s no need to show it to anybody else. Or something like that. But then again, Maddow’s show has been waning in both production and content–and she’s definitely toned down her liberal voice. So I wonder if this is just another sign of things to come. Has Maddow finally gone over to the dark side? Or has the main-stream media (which is the true Disney-mind of dumb-downed #americant) finally caught up to her? Yeah, baby. Darth Vader could have been a tom-boy.

Link of interest: Move Away From Left Wing TV | The Atlantic

Rant on. -t

Nitwits Killed By Fire

Nice long weekend on Spanish island in the Med. Weather wasn’t the best but that doesn’t matter. We were able to get out from underneath the darkness of Germania for a at least a few hours. Fernweh, baby. And the air is fresher too. Speaking of fresh-air. Did you know that the US and most of Europe has terrible internet connectivity? No? I’m sure you knew that. But get this. There is hope. I was just on the Spanish island of Mallorca (Majorca) and not only did the hotel there have fantastic Internet, the whole island seemed to be in an Internet access frenzy. You could go almost anywhere on the island and connect to this provider who is putting wifi repeaters on house-tops, mountains, etc. Although it wasn’t always the best connection, the fact that they are doing this speaks for itself. The point is, the only other time I’ve felt so connected is at home using my shitty 16000mbps. (But I don’t want to complain too much about home because at least there are three other ISPs that offer the same shitty mbps.) But let me get back to the hotel where we stayed on the island. Once we checked-in we were given separate wifi access IDs for each device. It worked great. I was able to download podcasts, upload blog posts and even save a krapp load of money using messaging over TCP/IP instead of cellular. Wow! But none of that makes a who-ha-difference because some dip-shit corporatist in #americant has come out and appealed to the nitwits everywhere by making them think he’s on their side. Again. Wow! And so. How ’bout a bit of Tommi worst-interpretation of recent Net Neutrality ruling by the FCC? First. Tom Wheeler is a fool. Second. Those who think this “ruling” is a win for an open Interwebnet is a double fool. But this is exactly what happens when a nation of nitwits elect morons to public office who then appoint more morons to government agencies who adhere to the status quo of political conservatism based on the rhetoric of kill it with fire. This is also what happens when so much damage has already been done that to question that damage would mean also to question the entire system that enabled and facilitated it (the profitable damage). And so. How thick is the BS of Net Neutrality? Put simply: the recent FCC ruling on Net Neutrality is a smoke screen. The real issue is this: as long as Comcast can monopolise the last mile of Internet connectivity Net Neutrality and the corporatist FCC trying to regulate openness is fiction. Hence, just add more fiction to the fiction and krapp like “fastlanes” emerge. Why this issue has come to the forefront of the whole debate astonishes worst-moi even more. As long as Netflix’s costs of having to pay an ISP more money for bandwidth doesn’t trickle to the end user, I don’t care if there are fastlanes. So what’s the debate then about? People will get angry when they start seeing an increase in their interwebnet bill because Netflix is a friggin’ bandwidth hog? Or will Das Volk get pissed when they see an increase in Netflix costs because, well, Netflix has to pay Comcast more to stream movies? Btw, Netflix, Google (YouTube) and even Apple (iTunes) are already paying more to ISPs for bandwidth. Tom Wheeler represents corporate interests only. And that is the bottom line. He knows very well that the position cable companies and telecoms are in is where they’ve wanted to be from the get-go. The only thing this new FCC ruling does is say to ISPs that there is nothing left to monopolise. Put another way. In most of the US, which has shitty Internet to begin with, the last mile of data to your house is where the magic is. Until I have the choice of at least three competing ISPs via cable or at least three competing ISPs via ADSL/VDSL (phone lines), Net Neutrality and openness is a mute issue killed by fire. Wake up nitwits. Rant on. -Tommi

Lovin The Constitution Not

Where will the story end? A few centuries ago a bunch of privileged, elite Euro (white) men were angry about paying taxes so they got together to form an imperfect union and thereby established the right to be greedy along with a few other rights, e.g. the right to be stupid, the right to prey to imaginary teapots in the sky, the right to join a collective and the right to be clueless about what’s really going on around you, etc. Now, more than ever, dear worst-reader, I’m entertained when the libertarian classes open their traps about the US Constitution. For you see, what comes out of their traps is rarely anything that reflects reality. These people really do believe that the Constitution was written for them. Hence the power of the subliminal, the force of subtlety, the ability to change the individual who obviously can’t think for himself. It truly is no wonder that so many have fallen for the silliness that is Constitutional interpretation. It makes one feel good to think or feel that the first amendment or the fourth or whatever is about you. If one doesn’t heed this call of self-wonder then what should one do? Actually try to interpret reality? Wake up from the somber sleep of ignorant bliss? Come on! Get over it already. The US Constitution is not about the individual. What it is about is the ruling classes and protecting them from 1) kings and usurpers and 2) the riff-raff. Hence the Constitution is nothing more than a smoke screen, a dummy (as when hunting ducks) and the greatest single magic trick ever pulled on humanity. With that in mind, below an article from yet another libertarian nut-bag who does his/her utmost to sound good while listening to himself bitch and moan about what ultimately is a life of missed causes. In other worst-words. All of #americants problems can be traced to one very simple idear. We are a nation of individuals misinterpreting what is clearly a declaration that protects one thing and one thing only: money and those who own it. That’s it. That is what the US Constitution is about. End of story. Good luck suckers. -T

Pop Quiz: How Many Constitutional Rights Have We Lost |

Hollywood vs Wash DC

Hollywood, a novel by Gore Vidal.

Did it take me too long to get through this, dear worst-reader? Maybe it didn’t take long enough. Or, perhaps, is this piece of work enough to make me stop in my quest to read (all of) Vidal’s “Narratives of Empire”? Indeed. Four of the seven books are left. And I was bored more than not with this one. But I fought through it–because I felt compelled to do so. I wondered at times if Vidal was just as bored writing it. Nah. A man who can pull this off cannot be bored with what he does. Or? Vidal knows for whom and for what he wrote Narratives. That in and of itself is reason to complete the series. Or maybe not.

This is my third novel from Gore Vidal’s seven book series. What is becoming clear to me is that there is a sincerity, an earnestness to these books. They are more than just fictional histories of #americant through the eyes of someone who knows politics probably better than most. It’s almost as though Vidal is trying to tell Americans something not just about history but also about who and what we are and the world we have to live in. The quest to chronicle a lands history in a concise enough form so that posterity won’t forget it–or, at best–its people won’t leave it behind, is a task to be wondered. Or? Thus far I’ve read Lincoln, Burr, Creation and now Hollywood. Wait. I know. Creation isn’t really part of the Narrative series but somehow, after reading it, I can’t help but think that Vidal wants it to be because, simply, it is a great explanation of the history of humanity pre and post religious nutbaggery, i.e. #americant in the 20th century. But that’s neither here nor there. The real question we are facing, dear worst-reader, is what’s next on the Narrative reading list? Empire, 1876, Washington DC or the Golden Age? Indeed. I’m torn. Oh well.

The one thing that saved (reading) this book for me was an ever growing interest in Vidal’s choice of characters from which to tell this story. Ironically, or maybe not, the best character of the novel isn’t even a real historical figure. For whatever reason Vidal had to make up a few characters. Enter Caroline Sanford. She is both an actress and a newspaper mogul. She is the embodiment of Vidal’s vision linking two geographic points of a fledgling nation. She reminded me somewhat of Dagny of Atlas Shrugged–but only in my imaginative effort to give her a physical presence. As far as the other characters go, it’s easy to look up the presidents, the government officials, the barons and the goons Vidal chronicles. They are all only a wiki-link away. But Caroline? Where did Vidal get this chick? I’ll be wasting hours googling to find out why Vidal created her. But more importantly, she’ll be the reason I probably read “Empire” next as she is featured in that novel, as well. I’m a Caroline Sanford fan.

The historical characters covered in the book, especially the presidents Woodrow Wilson and Warren G. Harding, are only interesting because of how Vidal presents them in the context of (their) political buffoonery. Although I did learn a few things about Wilson, like his stedfast belief in the failed League of Nations, I kept getting the feeling that these figures of #americant history are nothing more than a side-show. The things said, done and committed by the novel’s figures is nothing compared to the intrigue Vidal miraculously achieves by the juxtaposition of Washington DC vs Hollywood. Vidal literally codifies the how and why of entertainment vs politics, all of which has been willfully and consciously merged right underneath the eyes of a puritanical nation of nitwits. This aspect of the story is the unexpected grand achievement of the book. How many people conclude that the connection between these two opposing coastlines would set the stage of #americant for an entire century? Even though it takes Vidal a while to get to Hollywood from the beginning of the book, once there I was hooked. Every time he returned to the east coast, though, I found a way to put the book down–and sometimes I even rushed through the text. California here I come!

All in all, this was a tough read. I really had to battle some of the huge winded chapters and as previously stated, even rush through them and I do not feel as though I missed anything by doing so. I only hope that this was the most winded book of the series. Two other non-Vidal books are in front of Empire so maybe that will give me achance to recupearate form this one. Or maybe I won’t be able to wait that long before getting back to Ms. Sanford.

Some quotes from the novel “Hollywood” by Gore Vidal:

  • “Almost everyone nowadays had two lives, his own and his life at the movies.”
  • “The had used the movies successfully to demonize national enemies. Now why not use them to alter the viewer’s perception of himself and the world.”
  • “Show things the way they are but carefully angled, the way the camera is, to make the audience see what you want them to see.”


Rant on. -Tommi