The Cherry Bat v. Coincidence v. Coordination

coincidence dictates
Just kidding!

Is it me, dear worst-reader? Am I the only one to worst-write about conspiracies? Wait. It’s important to note here–for the sake of posterity–that I don’t worst-write about conspiracy theories. Reason? There’s a difference, you know, between conspiracy and conspiracy theory. Just as there’s a difference between coincidence and central planning–as in central planning of a Big Brother state. But I’m wheezing around the subject-tree. Nomatter. Let me just put it out there this morn. After spending the last two days in awe of news galore, last night something hit me. It didn’t hit me like a baseball bat on the back of the head, which is normally what causes the bleeding. No. It hit me like a cherry bat that lingered around my silent room, the shine of my computer screens causing it to swirl and twist around my head until it finally found the time and effort to give me one good slap. Its wing claws dug into my scalp and I could feel it inserting its needle teeth only to be repelled by the thick skull bone protecting my brain. They say the blood around the brain is the best. But bats rarely get to that. At least they don’t get to it among the living. Still. Its incision was deep enough and the blood began to ooze and I could hear its tiny little tongue lapping up my skull blood. It was obvious that it didn’t taste as good as brain blood. But I digress. Here’s the thing. The whole time while I was reading and convincing myself not to itch that thing stuck in my head, something (else) was bothering me. It was something that didn’t fit in the landscape of what I was reading and/or trying to wrap my head around. Luckily. Eventually. The adorable little bat was full. So I went to bed. And then I woke around 5am. And I realised: The Intercept has nailed it. Or have they? Just get a load of the fancy website featuring their latest “journalism” coup d’état (see link below). And wouldn’t you know it! This latest phenomenon in the world of informing a dumb-downed public is due to another… Get this. Wait for it. Yes. It’s due to yet another whistleblower. Indeed. The world needs another whistleblower. The world needs it right at the moment when we thought we didn’t need another. Wow, eh. But all kidding aside. There is one thing that really gets under my skin here–other than that damn cute bat. Indeed. And it goes like this: is it coincidence or is it coordinated that The Intercept releases its newest journalistic find via (insert # here) whistleblower just as Barry O announces the US is staying in Afghanistan? Or maybe not. Rant on. -tommi

Links that motivated this post: