Chancellor Of The Automatons Person Of The Year

merkel oh natural
Even though this blog is NSFW, I couldn’t bring myself to post the whole pic. If you’re interested in the rest of it, give your fav search tool a try.

Well, there you have it. Finally, after all these years–almost thirty years to be exact–a human female makes the big cover, the big issue. Time magazine has chosen its “person” of the year. Now. During such an occasion other (privileged) humans can see who/what… a human female that runs a really, really, really big corporation actually looks like. I know. I know. It’s a eurowasteland corporation. Some prefer that it be referred to as a club. But then, if you refer to it as a club in the wrong place while drinking the wrong schnapps, Swiss people get offended. Switzerland is, by all means, this planets largest country-club but also a relative small country-corporation. Or? Then again. Is there another reason for choosing Angie Merkel to be on the cover of such a prestigious, respected magazine? (Excuse me while I itch that shred of sarcasm on the back of my neck.) But then again. Let us put worst-writer’s (aka Tommi’s) misogyny and nation-state hate aside for a moment. For we not only have a woman on the cover of this influential magazine (more itching) but also an East German. When was the last time that happened? Well, it’s never happened. So I guess it was time that it happen. The last West German on the cover was named Willy and it was 1970. Actually his name wasn’t Willy it was instead Herbert Ernst Karl Frahm. But that’s neither here nor there. Anywho. I actually had the opportunity to meet Willy when I was a sailor parked in Hamburg. On numerous occasions I would frequent a pub near the water named Muschi. But don’t bother looking for it. It shut down years ago. Anywho. After a while I had stop Willy meeting in Muschi because Muschi went dry. Muschi did some bad stuff and the Hamburger authorities shut the place down. It couldn’t deal with the onslaught of new Willy’s coming in from the recently freed East. Indeed. Muschi couldn’t handle too many East Willy’s. But I digress. I don’t know about you, dear worst-reader, but I’m so tickled with Angie’s win here that I have the need to run around Germania right now yelling and screaming “Hey Toots, Muschi has reopened. Where’s Willy!” But enough about me and my Americania vulgarities and/or poorly influenced experience living among the Germanians for so long. For this is a day of celebration–even I find it a bit much to ruin such days. I mean, it’s not as though Germania has to worry about things these days. No. Germania is in fact a utopia state and highly profitable corporation that deserves having its leadership on the cover of #americant magazines. In fact, Germania has made massive headways into the societal infrastructures of both the now and the future. Germania, with a female at its head, is currently in the process of laying the blueprint for future corporate states where no one has to worry about VW execs screwing the pooch or Sig Sauer losing a new gun deal. No. Things are well in the nation-state Germania and that is the reason Angie has been chosen. And there you have it. Congratulations. Now it’s time to give out some corporate gifts like pens, t-shirts and for those with advanced degrees, neck-ties and business socks. Automatons the world over unite. The Germanians, lead by a female reared at the hand of Margot Honecker, is running the fucking show. Oh. And btw! If the world needs any more space for “refugees” just call Angie. Her doors are open and there’s plenty of sleeping space on her Autobahns and cheap labour spots on her corporations. Yeah, baby. It all reminds me of the good’ole days with Willy and Muschi. Or maybe not. Whatever.

Rant on. -tommi

Source: TIME Person of the Year 2015: Angela Merkel