How To Print Your Own Money

Adieu iPhone 4s
Can you find the odd man in this pic?

When I was a kid I remember being confused about light bulbs. Beyond the fact that few of them would go off in my head, I couldn’t wrap that same head around issues of wires, connectors and periphery that made lightbulbs an essential part of every night life. Plus. Why is it that there are so many kinds of lightbulbs? And I don’t mean just shapes and sizes. There’s different wattage, different glows, different screw-threads, incandescent, florescent, LED, etc. And that’s all fine and good. But then one day I was reading something–you know, in order to help train my brain to start making lightbulbs go off–that opened up the world around me beyond being able (and thankful) that I could read in the dark. It was a story about how the powers-that-be of the lightbulb industry were able to start printing money at will. Long story short, the lightbulb industry is/was the first industry to purposefully make products that would, after a certain amount of time, stop working so that you, the sucker consumer, without question, would have to go out and buy more lightbulbs. It’s called obsoletism. Oddly, I just put “obsoletism” in Wiki and it redirects to “archaism”. Conspiracy? Nomatter. The cabal that is the lightbulb industry which I read about so many years ago stuck with me. I knew as a good and subservient consume-to-survivor in this world that the powers-that-be had me by the balls. Not only was/am I forced to buy krapp that is eventually obsolete which means I have to buy it again and again and again, but most people are oblivious to their position in this free-for-all of greed. Reason? It’s not just lightbulbs that got us by the balls, aka wallets. The tech industry is probably the best equipped industry to fully implement obsoletism as a corporate strategy. I have a drawer full of old cellphones. I have to have a completely different drawer to house all the cable and wires that made those cellphones work. Why so many wires and cables? Gee, should the cellphone industry be asked that question? I mean, come on. Why isn’t there a standard regarding cellphone connecting cables? Is it measurable/understandable how much copper is wasted in making all those cables–that end up in the same trash as the phones? How many resources could be saved if people had the option of buying just the phone and thereby use their old cable to power/connect them? What a bag of worst-worms, eh dear worst-reader? And I digress. §The problem is, turning the lightbulb industry into a print-money free-for-all is like offering a baby honey when its teething. Babies learn quickly to want and want and want more. And so. Obsoletism is the norm. It is the engine of this consume-to-survive world we are forced to live in. Without it most corporations today would go out of business tomorrow because, as is obvious, they cannot innovate, create or begin anew. Hence we have a world full of monopolies, eco-systems, Geschlossene Gesellschaft. §Note. Geschlossene Gesellschaft, aka Huis Clos or No Exit is a fav play of mine from Sartre. This play contains nuggets of knowledge and wisdom that helped me understand the world around me–especially the greed-world that I’m forced to cope with. With that in mind, “Hell is other people.” §And so. Enter Apple computer. The love-child of famed and thoroughly dead Steve Jobs. What a freak show this company has become, eh. I mean, come on, just have a look at those yearly product introductions. The assholes that get up on a stage and present to us krapp that no one should need is an astonishing thing to witness. Tim Cook, probably the luckiest guy in the world–as he better than anyone embodies the automaton corporate stooge–is mindless, devoid of creativity, subservient, question-less–oh, the perfect combo for corporatists everywhere–yet he “manages” one of history’s most profitable corporations. Which brings me to the following joke-question: who is the Ringo Starr of the corporate world? Ok. Ok. Tim Cook worked his way up the #americant corporate ladder. I guess he deserves some credit for that. Or maybe not. Fuck him. §Here’s the thing. Steve Jobs found a way to print money at will–not unlike the greed-mongers that gave us lightbulbs. Indeed. As grand as Jobs was with his marketing savvy and product-wit, it is true that he could probably sell me a bag of salt when I need water. And not only can he sell it to me. Steve Jobs created more than a tech company making great products. He found a way to sell obsoletism better than anyone else. Hence, I will miss my iPhone 4s. A perfectly good phone that I am now forced to put aside for a new iPhone 6s–because Apple flat out lied to me that my 4s was compatible with OS updates. And to be real honest with you, dear worst-reader, after a few weeks of use, I’m not impressed with the differences between the 4s and the 6s. Would I be impressed with the 4s and an Android device? Who cares. My point is this. I tried and I tried to make my 4s work for as long as possible–as that is my contribution to mindless consumerism. But I have obviously lost the battle and, as usual, Apple (corporatism) has won. But then again, have a look at the articles below. There are some people out there with as much wit as Steve Jobs and more creativity than Tim Cook can ever muster. Yeah. Sue all corporations when they act like assholes. Sue the krapp out of them. Yeah, baby. Rant on. -Tommi

Links that motivated this post: