Another Reason Why #AWS Tech People Shouldn't Sail The Boat

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Actually, the saying goes: boat builders shouldn’t sail the boat. But we have to modify the saying today on account we’re dealing with techies. But I digress. §Got a atypical techi email (i.e. previous blog post) the other day that took me a while to comprehend. I was told by #AWS (Amazon Web Service) that my instance (a name used to confuse people about what a server is) was going to be retired on June 2, 2016 at so-n-so time. Ok, I thought. Maybe this is one of those Kenya emails where a pseudo prince is trying to scam me, albeit less Kenya. And guess what? Indeed it is a scam email. Obviously, by taking advantage of users–especially users who just want a cheap blog hosting platform and get a kick out of technology but don’t live by it–Amazon thinks it can whip up some tech problems in order to get users to dish out more free money. (“Free money” for corporate overhead, of course.) I mean, that’s how things work these days, right? That’s how things work in a trickle around and fail-upward society. As we know, dear worst-reader, no one actually “works” for a living anymore. Instead what people (automatons) do is behave and follow certain rules and regulations for their daily living. Hence, anyone with a friggin’ job and/or career (there really is no difference between the two since people don’t achieve anything other than consumerism with both) is a compulsive behaviourist. Also. Compulsive behaviourists are part of a system that is dependent on psychosis. And so. When Amazon techi shitkickers send out emails about how their hardware will fail, they do so with the advice that one should pay more money

  1. in order to understand what the problem actually is because they use words that confuse and convolute more than inform and assist
  2. for advice
  3. to fix the problem that they themselves facilitate and create

But what is the AWS problem that has so engorged my nasty parts with rage? Get this. AWS, the most profitable part of Jeff Bezos shitkicker company, has hardware failure issues. I don’t know about you but it sounds more like Amazon and Jeff are having problems that can only be solved with viagra. I mean, come on! Are you serious, Amazon? I know that hardware fails. Since when does the burden of hardware failure–even for cheap customers–fall to weary bloggers? Obviously something is amiss here. And because of that AWS sends weary customers–who are barely proud to have been able to install a wordpress blog on your fucking instance bullshit–emails scaring the shit out of them thereby making them think that if they don’t do something, i.e. pony-up, pay the Kenyan pseudo-prince, send some money, etc., etc., before the deadline their online lives will disappear. Why a customer has to partake in AWS’s inability to manage its hardware (failures) is enough of a mystery. Or is it? I mean, is this the reason that hosting a simple blog on AWS is almost free? Talk about all-things preposterous. AWS has hardware that fails and because it fails it’s up to the customer to make sure that that failing hardware doesn’t cause the loss of a fucking blog? And before I bust another nut…

There is actually a very simple solution to this AWS problem. All one has to do is stop and restart his/her server… sorry, instance. That’s it. It took me three days to figure that out–because it’s not mentioned anywhere in their documentation. Instead what AWS tries to do is up-sell you with other services. Talk about convoluted. Luckily I found the answer after I…

  1. Stopped re-reading the email AWS sent
  2. Stopped reading AWS documentation that supposedly covered the issue
  3. Started reading advice from a google search (and a FB friend) where it became clear that there are as many confused people, with much more advanced techi skills than me, dealing with this issue.

The biggest hurdle in understanding this nonsense was whether or not my blog, i.e. my data, was safe when/if I stopped/restarted my instance. Obviously I have a daily backup of my wordpress blog. What I don’t have–and what I don’t want–is to have to go through the bullshit of installing another server (instance) and setting it up with Apache & Co and then re-installing wordpress. That a simple, one sentence, explanation for this problem is nowhere to be found at AWS says everything about this service. Instead they want you to create backups and virtual copies and and and… all for a fee–because their hardware fails. Gee. I wonder how many Win95 experts are working at AWS. But I digress.

Solution AWS instance retirement:

If you’re running a simple blog on a AWS instance and you get an email stating that that instance is going to be retired, just stop the instance and restart it.

At least that’s what worked for worstwriter.

Rant on.