Month: November 2016

Stupid Are Us. Or. Is Da Newz Really Fake At Da Mud Fest?

mud fest.jpg

What do you call it, dear worst-reader? After attempting a google search here and a wiki peak there, I’m as confused as ever. Is it…

  • Mud Bogging
  • Mud Pit Racing
  • Mud Run
  • Peanut Butter Mud Race (seriously, I found this in a search and the name comes from the colour of the mud)
  • Deep Pit?

Indeed. The list goes on. But we’re not here to worst-blog about the fun #americants so fastidiously invent for themselves. No. We’re here to address the issue of so-called fake-news. Or is it fake-newz?

Screen Shot 2016-11-29 at 11.18.31.png

The links below that motivated this worst-post detail the intricacies of how really, really stupid people in the first world can be taken advantage of because, (relative) wealth, comfort, boredom and #american public schooling will cause people to fall for anything. I think someone famous once called it:

…A sucker born every minute

Which brings me to Faceblahblah (you know what I’m worst-referring to). Now don’t get me wrong. I use Faceblahblah–even though only as a spring board for the content I create through my worst-writing. I also use it to communicate with a few old friends. So I’m not condemning the service. To each his/her own! Same goes for mud racing, btw. In fact, I’d love to attend one of those races someday. Well, maybe not. I reckon I’m gettin’ too old for that sort of thing. Nomatter.

According to some (real?) news I read this morning, without Faceblahblah there would be no fake-newz. Can that be? I mean, seriously? Faceblahblah is in part responsible for fake-newz? If what the real newz reporters are saying is true, well… Boy are we in trouble.

Still. I gotta hand it to those young folks in places like Macedonia. That they can post fake-newz on Faceblahblah and because of the stupid people in #americant that click on it they actually make click-money from advertising. Wow! More power to ya, Macedonians. And I’m sure, as soon as you save up enough from your fake-newz earnings, you’ll be on the first plane to Mississippi or Alabama or bumfcuk #americant to have some fun in the mud.

Links that motivated this post:

Rant on.

-t

Chasing Meaninglessness Beyond The Pale Of Wishing Your Bubbles Are Bigger Than Mine

http://www.chasingbubblesmovie.com/

Warning: major spoiler alert.

This is a really cool little documentary. If you can call it a documentary. If you don’t call it a documentary then what do you call it? A movie? A film? A TV show? A theatrical trailer for a film that is actually a warning to future generations about the pitfalls of…

  1. Not being able to chose your parents
  2. It’s not worth it anymore to actually work for a living (and for that you can thank your parents).

But I digress. And here comes the spoiler. Would you believe that some schmuck from a rich family who had everything paid for him from birth to his education and then even provided him a van to live in while he sought the meaning of life struggling to work for the only industry left in #americant–the financial sector–and then, out of life-frustration bagged it all so he could sail around the world in a f’n boat? That’s right, dear worst-reader. The star of this film is a kid who was born with PTSD or became so confused with his rearing that in order to cope with the pitfalls of having to work among other greed-mongers and automatons he lost his sh*t and decided to prove to the ocean that things float. When he finally realised that all his floating was done, guess what happens? He docks his boat and continues his travels on land and finds the trash-heap of the earth, India. While in India he catches typhoid fever and f’n dies.

Let me repeat that because Stupid needs to be repeated about as much as Stupid needs to have documentary films made.

This kid takes something like a three year journey around the world on a (relatively) cheap, used sailboat, partying the whole time with his friends, alluding to the trauma of his family, and when he’s done he realises that all he’s achieved is the humdrum of his birth. And because that’s not enough he continues his pseudo-thrill-seeker bullsh*t life and goes off to India without getting any immunisations–because he so smart from the first world!–and catches typhoid fever and dies.

Now let’s make a documentary film TV movie about this kid.

Oh. And here’s another spoiler . I guess you could also call it the catcher of this film. Right at the end the film maker(s) throw in the thought that maybe this whacked-out rich kid ain’t dead after all. Really? How original. I mean (sarcasm on)… the world really is gonna miss this kid (sarcasm off).

Still. Since I love sailing, it is a movie worth seeing. Hence my worstwriter recommendation. And so. May stupid white people that have created this f-upped world find their cheap thrills and then catch some fever and go, finally, away.

Prosit stupid people and be careful when you drink India’s grey water.

Rant on.

-t

Disagreeing With The Greatest Disagreeer. Or. How Your World Of Worst Is Finally Catching Up To You.

300x169-R1244_FEA_Trump_A_SML
#americant’s comb-over & chief

News link that motivated this post:

“Noam Chomsky: People Who Didn’t Vote For Clinton To Block Trump Made A ‘Bad Mistake’” | HuffPost

Noam Chomsky thinks that those who sat out or protest-voted this election have made a mistake. Is the ageing über intellectual right? Don’t get me wrong. I was for Clinton. Well, I was for Clinton till about the end of July, early August. That’s when I started leaning toward Bernie. By the time the Democratic convention started I was all for Bernie. Needless to say, email scandal here or there, when those Wikileaks came out of how the DNC was so blatantly trying to sabotage Bernie I really started to lose my sh*t. Although I had always known it, The Clintons really showed their corporate automatons faces this time.

Obviously the DNC is every bit as dysfunctional and destructive as any human organisation whose sole purpose is hierarchy, power and control over others and, of course, MONEY. I mean, come on, dear worst-reader. Isn’t that what makes up corporate #americant today? Just look at the work environment in #americant? Look at how people subject themselves to hour long tours to get to work and then home again. Look at how people behave in their offices, how they dress, act, talk, etc. Look at how they consume! Look at how everyone is so desperate for MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. The behaviour of the automatons that make the wheels of this machine turn is where all the answers lie to the question of WHAT THE FCUK IS GOING ON.

If I were a young voter, untainted by the madness that has over taken the country since Ronald Reagan and I saw a little speck of hope with Bernie and then saw how The Clintons along with the DNC tried to delegitimise him, I would have sat out this election too. Indeed. Fcuk it.

Anywho. Enough about the mob structure of consuming to survive that #americants have earned.

Back to Noam.

Chomsky says in the article above: “I didn’t like Clinton at all, but her positions are much better than Trump’s on every issue I can think of.”

Really, Noam?

Other than the immigration issue and walls that should rival The Great Wall of China, I’m not aware of any issues Trump has with anything. The man didn’t say a thing about how he’d do things. The only thing he did was project himself to a desperate nation on the verge of a psychotic breakdown as a ray of hope that rivalled Bernie Sanders. Does that mean, according to Chomsky, that Trump is unqualified for the job? Does it mean that we should be afraid of Trump? Please! Come on Chomsky. Lighten the fcuk up. #Americant has chosen for president a left over from the 1970s who wears a comb-over just like the nation wears consumption galore.

People might want to start embracing what has happened this election. Embracing because, sometimes, just sometimes, in order to turn things around you have to go beyond three hundred and sixty degrees. Way beyond. Perhaps this is finally the beginning of the end of the madness that is #Americant. If that’s so than it’s a lot better than the world of worst you’ve been hiding in all these years.

Or maybe not.

Rant on.

-t

Problems With The World Today, How You Know It’s So And How To Save $5 And Look Cool Doing It If You’re Smart

drum-brakes-on-new-cars

Obviously it’s hard to see. Reason? Sight. It’s really that simple. Sight is not the ability to see.

But see what, dear worst-writer?

Well. Let me tell you, dear worst-reader.

While walking Beckett the Killer Pug this afternoon, I came across something that I see all the time. In fact, I see it without sight. And each time I see it I say to myself, wow, how can that be? In this case, I passed a new Smart car and I took sight.

Just look at that new Smart car!

It has drum brakes at the rear…

Drum brakes? Ok. Ok. I’m sure some über-edumacated #eurowasteland engineer might have suggested to the corporate automaton management team at Smart (or is it Mercedes?) that only modern brakes should be installed on this little piece of krapp pseudo-car. But as we all know, the automaton management of said company always wins this type of… idealistic discussion? The fact that disc brakes are much more expensive than drum brakes goes without saying. And what about the issue of archaic governmental regulations that hold back a company like Smart from having a car with only two brakes instead of four? Indeed. Drum brakes are still being used in many automobiles these days. Which brings me to the following worst-question:

Why not just forgo brakes on the rear of this car? Not only would that LOOK cool but it would BE cool.

At the least, forgoing brakes on the rear wheels would save weight and money. Speaking of money–i.e. the god whom all prey to. I wonder if drum brakes still cost something like $5 to make. Yes. That’s what they cost twenty years ago when I was a research analyst working for the German car industry and someone suggested–even back then to get rid of drum brakes on all cars. Twenty years ago. I wonder what is going to be the drum-brake of the iPhone in ten years.

Rant on.

-t

Blog Migration H-Eeeee-Double-Toothpicks And Why I Left #AWS

wordpress

Due to (technical) knowledge constraints I thought I overcame, I recently gave up hosting my blog with AWS. According to the conspiracy theorist inside my third-eye, I think the problem I had hosting at AWS was due to the fact that they couldn’t up-sell me and my lolly blog from being free-tier to being (insert $-amount) per month. Yeah, “free-tier” at AWS is only worth it if:

  • You don’t get many hits at your blog
  • You’re a webserver expert.

The only way AWS would help me with any problems was if I paid them for the help. In other words:

  • Free-tier web hosting at AWS is cool until you need even the slightest amount of help.

Now ain’t that suspicious? It’s especially suspicious when it’s obvious that a problem occurs not because of what I did but becuae of what AWS did which amounts to things being:

  • Suspicious.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m only blowing off some steam here. The problem I had with hosting my Worpress blog at AWS was solvable. I just didn’t know how to solve it–and something was telling me that if I’m gonna have to pay to have that amount of limited service, AWS isn’t for me.

The pseudo dream has always been to actually set up my own server at home and run my compulsive writing blog there. It’s really a rather simple thing to do. That’s what makes it extra frustrating that I couldn’t solve the problem at AWS. All one has to do is connect a home webserver to the outside world. For this you need the proper bandwidth. It’s no coincidence that we all can get high downloads speeds with our home Interent connections but only measely upload speeds. In Germania, as well endowed with phone lines and cable lines as the country is, I’m sure that the powers-that-be don’t want people to start hosting their corners of the internet at home. Indeed. And so. I constantly had the following error while hosting my blog on a Linux server at AWS:

  • “Error establishing a database connection”

As best I can tell this “error” is due to a mix-up between WordPress, which is my blog content management system, and AWS’s management of its server iterations. The mix-up or “error” occurs when one or all of the following happens while hosting a WordPress blog:

  • Free-tier blog gets too much traffic
  • AWS fiddles around with its systems and thereby forces changes to WordPress configuration files.

The thing is, I don’t feel like going that deep into all this technology krapp. It was actually a fun project a few years back when I went from 1und1 hosting to AWS. Installing Worpress on AWS was cool. But it’s now clear that free-tier doesn’t mean what you think it means. And that’s fine. I can deal with that. And I can even pay a couple of bucks a month to WordPress in the hope that all those database error messages are over.

We’ll see.

Rant on.

-t

Of the few people I wish I could have met. Or. At 12 I learned the Bible story of Goliath v Comrade David

Due to broken family relations, I attended a few bible study classes in my early years. At the time, while sitting in the back of the class, I didn’t think much of it. According to my mother, I had to go, I was paying my time. In later years recollection of those classes both haunts and fascinates me. For one, it was Catholic bible study. Second, I’m not Catholic. But that’s neither here nor there. The thing is, I probably have retained more from a year or two of Bible study class than I have from twelve years of  state-forced parochial schooling–except for typing class in High School–not to mention the fact that to even get through the whole Sunday church thing, I spent more time reading the Bible so I didn’t have to listen to the preacher, the chorus, or the prayer followed by money collecting. One of the things I will never forget from those years of attending church was how Mrs. Ricardo, a regular Bible study teacher, told the class how much she hated Fidel Castro and that if we followed God and America we could then help in ending his rule of “my” people. When she said Castro’s name, I lifted my head form the doodles I was making on the desk. I’ve heard of that guy, I thought to myself. He was on the news a lot back then. Something about being America’s nemesis only a short swim away from Florida. And then there was the whole communist thing. Yeah, when I was young, communists were as evil as the devil. Or maybe communists were the devil. Nomatter. Needless to say that Mrs. Ricardo was a beloved Bible study teacher and she talked just like Ricky Ricardo on the I Love Lucy Show. Oh well.

Link that motivated this tweet: Castro Dead. RIP. | WorldPost

Rant on. -t

Adieu Democrats Or How I Know I'm Smarter Than #Hillary

card-carrying-democrat-no-more

Well, dear worst-reader, obviously I’m not smarter than Hillary Rodham Clinton. But does that matter at this point? It most certainly does not.

I suppose there is no better subject to tackle after a two-month hiatus of worst-writing and an incredible 18 month long batshit election. And so…

I tried.

I’ve really tried.

I have tried to believe and I have tried to have faith. I have fought the good fight of defending my heritage nomatter where my expat travels have taken me. Here’s just a sample of what I’ve dealt with in the name of Truth, Justice and the American way of consuming-to-survive.

  • From an Indian landlord in India: “You’re not a republican are you?”
  • From a French sailor in Mauritius: “What’s with your lust for war?”
  • From a Thai hotel manager in Bangkok: “What’s it like to have a black president?”
  • From an Egyptian customs officer in Cairo: “Your country is stupid.”
  • From a Austrian teenager in Frankfurt: “You’re a fascist.”

As all things in life must come to pass, e.g. an attempt to grow, mature, get smart, be true to women (or partner or donkey, etc.), we must also detach. Yes. Detach. Like a word of the day. Detach from all the above. From all that is above you–you working schmuck. Even though in this election year I was a bit more detached than usual–for it has been yet another very hectic and trying year–I don’t mind saying that maybe it’s finally time for something more than detachment. Wait.

I’m too old for this shit. And you now what else? I’m too fcuking smart for this shit, too. And I’m also fcuking tired of defending a level of ignorance that is not worth defending (see bullet list above). Or maybe not.

See. Here’s the thing. I’m starting to think that ignorance, at certain moments, is worth defending. We all do stupid shit, right? Like, for example, voting. Even though I’ll remain a wannabe political liberal-hippie at heart who always got a kick out of voting, it’s easy to see post 2016 election that voting and ignorance might just outweigh voting and smart.

Let me just put it out there:

I’m no longer a card carrying member of the Democratic party of America. (Oh! Sorry. #Americant!)

Somehow being a Democrat-Expat kept me attached to the place I wish I could return. As of last night I used to be on Democrats Abroad’s email list. Heck, I even went to a Democrats Abroad meeting once (many years ago). In all these years abroad this little political attachment to The Homeland has been the only sense of rational political thought that kept me somehow sane when confronted in foreign lands about my brutality, my vulgarity, the murdering greed-lust of my nation-state birth place. Indeed. After this election, as so many ponder and wonder, detaching ain’t such a bad idear. But, again, detach from what… exactly?

I’ll be the first to admit that I live a life of illusion and from that illusion, this day forth, I rid myself of the likes of the illusion of Hillary Rodham Clinton. In other words, I refuse to let my illusion become (Her?) delusion.

Oh how I wanted her to be president.

Oh how I wanted a woman to finally run the show.

Oh how I hate a world run by stupid, vulgar, war lusting, hate-filled, comb-over, stupid, really stupid, white men. I hated it all because I was under the illusion that She was the smartest person in the room. Yet even as Clinton’s qualifications were a spectacle, those qualifications must run-off and hide now. Smart, obviously, has nothing to do with it. For it is high time that Her Smarts find a place in a dark closet of a dark museum of our/a dark #americant history. That she played this game and lost so thoroughly has to be the most astonishing political event in the history of (our?) democracy. I mean. Come on. Proof is in the pudding of how “smart” she is and how the Democratic party so arrogantly refused to heed the call of the wild that gave us a viable alternative to Donald Trump. She didn’t just lose this election. She beat Bernie–she beat him and his ideas to a pudding-pulp. Or am I the only one to feel this way–as a former Democrat? That someone as smart as me couldn’t see through how arrogant and lustful and, probably, spiteful Hillary Rodham Clinton really is, is OK. What’s expected of little ole’me–who left the country I love so much 25 yrs ago?

HOW COULD HILLARY AND HER STAFF AND HER MINIONS AND HER HUSBAND AND THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY NOT KNOW THAT THEY WOULD MAKE #AMERICANT EVEN REDDER WITH THEIR ARROGANCE?

Hillary and the Democratic party have given #americant The Donald. A lot of people out there are thankful for that. I’m sure, at the least, Bernie Sanders will be thankful for it come 2020–if, by then, he’s healthy enough to run at the ripe age of 79 for president. But I suppose that’s neither here nor there now. For this is where I now know that I’m smarter than Hillary and all those mechanical, robot suckers that fell for her shit. And so. I quit this fcuking political party. As good as it was that dipshit-Dubya gave us Obama, Hillary and her Democrats have cock-blocked Obama and thereby given us The Donald. While #americants whine and dine and weep and falsely protest till January 20, 2017, about this true and fair election, heed this:

Welcome to your delusion.

I have never respected an election like I respect this one. Popular vote here or there. Hillary has lost more than just the electoral college–which was setup for exactly this reason.In fact, I have to hand it to republicans. Is this there payback for the respect they didn’t earn for their 2000 election? Oh, you spiteful powerful conservative, neocon, republican… monster.

Yeah, think about it.

Republicans are and have been the smartest person in the room for the last (insert number) years. OYG! Look at a 2016 electoral map. Look what the republicans achieved. Take California out and Hillary would have lost the popular vote by tens of millions of votes. For that, I thank the United States Constitution and the electoral college! No over populated state should decide an election for the entire country. Could Hillary not see this coming by prancing around a stage in Philadelphia instead of meeting Deplorables in Oklahoma or Wisconsin or or or? And she even lost Pennsylvania! What! Did no one on her staff know that PA is right in the middle of Alabama and Georgia? (Sorry. That’s part of an old joke that I’ve long since forgotten.)

With that in mind, Hillary should go far, far away now. And she should take all her minions with her–especially her dirt-bag husband (who I used to like) who also, obviously, couldn’t see what they were all really doing. The red-states, as ugly and ignorant and redneck as they are, are not deplorable. Thank you red-states for renewing my faith in the Constitution. At least they’ve renewed it till the delusion of January 20, 2017, sets in.

I will forever miss the America of yore. And I’m not happy that I got out in time.

Good luck suckers.

Rant on.

-t

PS Don’t worry dear worst-reader. I’m not going to become a card carrying Republican. For me, right now, enough of #americant politburo politics.