The saying “you can’t write this stuff” doesn’t apply anymore. Reason? Someone has written this krapp down. My only regret is that I ain’t that someone. For it is indeed a script for the history books, don’t you know.
Welcome to the #Americant b-movie or hyper soap-opera that is the beginning of the 21st century. And what a better way to bring it on than to appoint yet another sexually repressed $hitbag to #SCOTUS. But I’ve already kinda ranted about that here. Indeed. So what I really want to rant about in this worst-post is the reason, dear worst-reader–according to worstwriter–why President Stupid actually picked this guy.
Is there a better way to legitimise bad male behaviour than to pick a $hitbag just like you as though normal is only normal as long as normal comes from me (#Trump)? Not only that, as with most other stuff coming out of the White House, this is a great smoke-screen. But I don’t want to get into President Stupid being on the verge of firing the guy that is in charge of overseeing DOJ money being spent on that BS that is Russian election interference. No. Let’s stay on topic, eh.
President Stupid has picked this upper middle class, über-privileged white guy–that hides behind #Americant Christian $hitbaggery–because it’s time for Das Volk (deplorables?) to learn that everything, no matter what it is, especially when it comes to all-things submissive and sadistic (sex), is ok as long as privileged ones do it. You know, if you’re a star–or a republican judge–you can grab women by the pu$$y or cover their mouths at seventeen (to stop her from screaming) anytime, anywhere, anywho. Of course, the worst part about it all is that most #Americant women don’t mind this behaviour. How else could so many of them have voted for #Trump? As long as the behaviour lands a woman the legitimacy and financials of marriage, they’re up for it. The problems arise, though, when enough gets to be enough for all the women-folk that weren’t so lucky in their quest to land those financials–or become Mrs. #SCOTUS. Talk about $hit outta luck, eh.
My worst-point is this: you gotta hand it to President Stupid. His ability to take stupid to the next level seems to have no end. Fill the world of (judicial) power with those who think/act like you or, at the least, legalise and protect reverse Robin Hood tax breaks, protect you (President Stupid) from money laundering and election fraud and, let’s not forget, over-turn a woman’s right to chose what to do with whatever it is a $hitbag puts in her body–forevermore.
Where will all this lead–in a country run by so much greed-mongering stupidity?
Actually I’m not done with it yet. In fact, after about half-way through it, I put it down last week and have been reluctant to return to it. Reason? I know most of the history already. What I was hoping for, though, was that Tom Holland would consolidate a bit. You know, cliff-note the history but then go crazy with some interesting narrative. For it is, dear worst-reader, a narrative non fiction book. Boy, were my hopes misgiven. That worst-said, Holland is not a bad writer, but he does write a lot–where perhaps a little less would be just as good. Does he have to fill pages? Is there a publisher out there wanting to print more? It doesn’t matter. History is history. With that in mind, I enjoyed reading Caesar’s Civil War more. And so…
Currently reading the book Rubicon. It’s a celebrated narrative non-fiction of the rise and fall of the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire. That’s right, dear worst-reader. They were two different things. But, as previously mentioned, I’m not as tickled with the book as I had hoped to be. Holland’s writing does not pull me in. Does it push me away? I’ll hold off on that question for now. Of course, this book did make my reading list a few years back after reading about it. And now I’m battling through it. So let me just worst-write a few thoughts based on what I’ve read so far–in case it joins my list of I give up books.
Even though the author is British, I get the sense that through his “narration” he is chronicling the fall of today’s Western empire–with my beloved & missed #Americant in mind. Considering that one of the reasons I chose this book from my to-read list now is the fact that #Trumpism and his lust for authoritarianism is running amok, I’ve always wanted to know why it is that so many many many people can fall for something as stupid as, well, believing and then electing… a President Stupid. I mean, I get it that there is a faux-newz channel in the united mistakes of #Americant. I also get it that Rush Limbaugh has played a major role in corrupting already vulnerable half-baked minds. In fact, the whole right-wing narrative that has corrupted practically everything in #Americant, has never been more obvious. Yet, even after Ronald Reagan, after what one side of politics in the US has done (I am NOT a both-siderist!), I’ve always believed that more than a few people by now should wake up to reality and do the simple task of not voting for the shit side all the time. As usual, I am wrong and I am probably off subject.
The only thing that stands out after reading half of Rubicon is the relationship between the ruling elites and the willing slaves that supported those elites through both the Republic and the Empire of Ancient Rome. But then again, if you’ll allow this tangent, I am obsessed with hating not just President Stupid (the perfect imbecilic example of a 20th century wannabe emperor) but the minions (modern slaves?) that put him there–just like those idiots of Rome that ransacked the world in the name of greed, lust, hoarding, spite and bigotry, etc. Yeah, history sounds familiar, don’t it?
I guess there’s no point in reading a book that tells me neither anything new or anything original about ancient Rome. But for those who know nothing of it, this book might be a great place to start. Who knows, I might finish it eventually out of sheer boredom and that unwillingness to put Caesar’s dagger through my left temple.
It’s not so much about the rulers anymore, dear worst-reader. You know, the kings and queens, the tsars, the CEOs, the patriarchal, the parents… tennis umpires–and how they rule over you/us. No. It is instead about those so willing to be ruled. As though adhering to your place in life, as well as on the court, was never an issue. Considering the state of things–politically, anabolically and child-rearingly–it is a wonder that anything happens without an umpire sitting atop (us). Or? For they/we are, indeed, lusting to be ruled. Am I wrong? Just look at any #Trump rally. Or even watch a tennis grand slam. Those #MAGA (again again again) hats, those t-shirts, the redneck puss dripping from the dead souls wanton of willful ignorance–is this not a horde of useless eaters yearning to be ruled yet playing “professional” tennis as though it weren’t a game? Serena Williams is also ruled, don’t you know. She’s ruled by ignorance (and not at all hysteria). Yes, be ruled. And when you don’t like it blame the ruler (umpire) and throw in some sexism because you can or because your steroids have worn off.
Serena Williams’ mistake in the debacle that hopefully will be known as the grand slam that finally got her off the court can be worst-summarised thus: she not only made it personal with her umpire attack but she also–like the child-mind she obviously is–convoluted the mess (of her making) by bringing up women’s rights–and let’s not forget human procreation. Such a thing can only come from a rich, spoiled, dead-soul American mind–not unlike that which has given the beginning of this century #Americant. Ironically, Serena’s behaviour is the same behaviour that can only culminate in Trump-land. It’s also the same with most reality TV, WWE, and, of course, greed mongering republicans, Neo-liberals, etc., and those who simply can’t face the reality (which is the reason for so much conspiracy-theory ranting and raving of last twenty years or so) of what they’ve allowed their country to become. Or is this just an issue of race, gender, baby-making and bad umpiring? Yes/no? The problem is with the near-future dystopia we’re all suffering in right now, there is a whole group of really, really influential rich but also really stupid people that have somehow, through some illbegotten means, never graduated–mentally!–beyond grade-school. Could this be the never-grow-up syndrome of #Americant spoiled-rotten-ism manifest in the demise of the presidency, material über-wealth and where the likes of pu$$y grabbing galore means there is no seeing through to… truth, justice and the land of free to be stupid?
The sad part is, I started to lose interest in Tennis–especially women’s tennis–when the Williams sisters got their grove on. How long has Serena dominated now? Twenty years? Nomatter. Obviously Serena and her sister are tremendous athletes and their skills on the court well-learned. But whenever Serena’s personality seeped into the limelight above and beyond the court, I couldn’t help but cringe. Oh lord, I thought. Here we go again. Yet another child-brain in the body of an adult that can hit the ball really hard and fast and precise. And it speaks, don’t you know. It speaks and grunts (on the court) loudly. But the things she says, the things that come out of her child-brain! They’re bad for the sport, I thought. Serena’s bickering on the court was always about Serena–not the game. Her history of sore losing is obvious, best exemplified in her most recent loss. But wait! Stop the presses. How’s this for a worst-thought that may or may not explain her stupidness? While breastfeeding she probably can’t fill up on all those chemical enhancers that may or may not have partaken in her having such a rough first child birth–at thirty-seven. Yeah, going cold-turkey can cause you to lose a game against an opponent almost twenty years your junior.
In the 2018 Women’s US Open final Serena was so outclassed by Osaka that a tantrum is all that remains. Compared to the antics and hilarity of John McEnroe (my all-time fav tennis player, btw), Serena Williams’ recent uproar turned my stomach. Her subsequent post-game press conference made things even worse. She oozes a form of arrogance and disingenuousness that is appalling, if not downright cringe-worthy. That she mixed her tantrum with the issue of women’s rights and claiming that she doesn’t need to cheat because of her daughter… Whaaaaaa the fcuk are you talking about über-athlete bimbo? Shut the fcuk up and play with your racket and ball–even if you’re gonna lose. Either that or, hey, third-grade-mind tennis professional, read a fcuking book, why don’t you. Her attack on the umpire where she called him a liar and a thief and then demanded an apology was preposterous but fitting of a recessed, regressive child-mind. Approaching the end of her career, after all these years, you’d think she’d learned the slightest amount of decorum with which to exit the game. But no. Not this level of #Americant money making. Instead, Serena doubled down and gave the world her “fake”, made-up claims, not unlike President Stupid who paved the way for what should be mindful attacks on real sexism.
Go away krappy careerist, monotone athletes. You’ve never inspired through your abilities but instead ONLY through admiration for your bank accounts.
(noun) The practice or act of intentional and blatant avoidance, disregard or disagreement with facts, empirical evidence and well-founded arguments because they oppose or contradict your own existing personal beliefs. This practice is most commonly found in the political or religious ideologies of “conservative” Americans. Many times it is practiced due to laziness–people not wanting to have to do the work to rethink their opinions, the fear of the unknown, the fear of being wrong, or sometimes simply close-mindedness. -Urban Dictionary
“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” -MLK
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is as good as your knowledge.” -Isaac Asimov
“Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. For the sake of humanity, we must be that cure.” -Neil deGrasse Tyson
Free is not free anymore. It’s now just free to be stupid. -worstwriter
Watching/reading about the proceedings regarding scariest #SCOTUS appointment ever–that #Americants deserve? Also a few pics from #Eurowasteland that coincide with it all. (Actually I’ve since learned that, in Germany, women who died from botched abortions, did so because of knitting needles not coat hangers.)
Never un-know, dear worst-reader. Never forget what you don’t know. -worstwriter bitterness
The mindset of conservatives has no limits to the depths it will sink. Granted, the liberal mindset may be convoluted as it flutters between sinking and failing to rise, especially when considering how Clinton transitioned it to neo-liberalism–which is nothing but conservatism less the sharp, pearly-white, cum-stained teeth of a thorned penis shark with opposing thumbs and interest rate payments. Yet as chaotic as the motion of political liberals has been in the past thirty or so years, it’s never been more clear that #Trump and his ism is truly seeking in the darkness of fail-upwardness a floor or a ceiling to hit… Biiiiiiigly. Will they hit it? If you ask worst-writer, I’d say they are about to. And since I am chained to the reality that ugly, stupid and repulsive conservatives are forever real, I have to give credit where credit is due. With two generations of faux-newz, Limbaugh and now Alex Jones living in the full bloom of a self imposed ignorance orgy, a few lost souls within the Republican political machine have definitely proven their value. There really are a few Republicans that can lay claim to being the smartest guys in the room. Jesus H. Christ! Look at what they’ve done!
Who the genius men are doesn’t matter. In fact, at this point, like the article linked to below, they can remain anonymous forever. For they have won, dear worst-reader. They have won gloriously. And how do I know they’ve won? Just read the linked NYT op-ed. Written by conservatives for conservatives and for republicans and for neo-liberals, the tone, texture, cadence of their words is clear:
Even though our Doctor Frankenstein has given you your #Trump monster, have no fear. We, the true, real conservatives are still here to battle the coming inroads of liberals who do as we do–they just fcuk you softer… and won’t protect your 2nd Amendment rights to shoot abortionists. -worstwriter bitterness
It is truly shocking to read the NYT op-ed. Obviously a few of the smartest guys in the room have seen some reality, they’ve seen what their years and years and years of republican political trickery has lead to. But do they really care for what is about to happen? How hard the fall will be when it finally hits bottom? Of course not. Like republicans and conservatives and most neo-liberals, so much $hit is hitting the fan right now in my beloved & missed #Americant, not even the smartest guys in the room know enough to fix it. And so, you spin it. They actually have the gall to write krapp like this NYT anonymous op-ed in the hopes it will be a kind of padding for when the wall or floor or ceiling of their fail-upwardness crashes. And that’s the ticket, dear worst-reader. Things are about to crash and the only question that remains is who has life-boats, where are the parachutes, can you put some padding on those shoreline rocks I see below?
In other words, when republicans, i.e. those who made this whole $hitshow more than any Democrat ever did, tries to tell you that there are adults in the room who care about what’s going on, take a look at the smoke screen they are also pumping out of their a$$es.
Afeared yet, dear worst-reader? Afeared of the gloom you and you’re #Americant brethren have wrought? Indeed. I was done with you at the re-election of war-mongering Dubya (2004). Barry-O was a godsend but since you idiots think your religion–and your money–is only about you, you left Barry-O alone and didn’t elect more of him to the Congress. (Only idiots believe that a president’s job is to run the country. There is a whole other branch of government for that. But enough worst-civic lessons for today!) So there’s no wonder Barry-O failed, eh. And now you have the ultimate of ultimates in President Stupid and his disgusting, stuck in the 1970s, golden-shower hair. Or do you? I mean, the smoke screen that is the current political and social crisis in #Americant is proof enough of (your or collective) idiocy. As a rocket scientist once said to me after admitting she voted for Jill Stein, and I paraphrase: “My intention was to rock the system.” Well, did you rock it, rocket scientist? I’m sure your narcissism equals that of the president you indirectly elected–and not just the president, but also your vice president. Since the vice president is a $hitbag religious zealot of the worst kind only #Americant can produce, all that’s left once President Stupid is impeached, quits or croaks, is the $hitshow that is #SCOTUS and finally filling it with someone who will gladly, in the name of his golden-calf God, repeal Roe v Wade. Are you imaging now your daughters, grand-daughters aborting with coat-hangers as your grandmothers and great grandmothers did? Which brings me to…
How much do you know about sexual repression, dear worst-reader? If you’re a #Trump voter and/or even a #Trump anti-voter (that is, like the rocket scientist, you indirectly elected him because you hate #Hillary), then knowing anything about sex is a mute issue. With that in mind, here’s the reason you should be frightened out of your mind if the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to #SCOTUS goes through. The man is so sexually repressed that when I first saw his face I couldn’t help but run out to the next house-of-ill-repute and pay twenty Euros plus an extra ten for a glorious Clintonesque blowjob that delivered an even better facial donut glazing of a gorgeous Budapest slut named Mistress Eierbear. The crown (or cherry on top) of my civil disobedience, of course, is knowing that paying for such service (physical gratification in the form of special happy-end massage techniques) goes back in human history to a time predating the knuckle-dragging, mindless invention of religion. Indeed, the oldest profession in the world is a godsend in these times of sexual repression galore. And every time I pay Her fee, I think of all the $hitbag conservatives and how they will never win in this their quest to rule by stupidity. They simply can’t oppress everything forever. Or?
A glimpse at the face of Kavanaugh and any conservative under the age of sixty shows two things.
Sexual intercourse is only for pro-creation.
He has never emotionally or intimately satisfied a human female other than inseminating her for the purpose of pro-creation–which is all conservative female breeders are capable of.*
What is it with these white-men that you directly and indirectly chose to rule you, dear worst-reader? Look at their faces. Look at their skin. From Steve Bannon’s gluttonous ugliness to the current #SCOTUS pick who has an obvious judicial record of oppression that seeps out of his pores like santorum, to President Stupid and the disgust that he manages to wear day after day after day. Are you still clueless to how screwed you are because you enable, you giggle your way through life, you count your interest rates, your bank accounts, your consumer credit line? The world is not being ruled by stupid white men, it is being ruined by them. But I’m once again off subject. Or?
The thing to worry about when it comes to sexual repression is where it actually comes from. As you’ll notice in the pic above, according to worst-writer, my beloved & missed #Americant is ruled by a seriously fcuked-up democracy of–at most–forty percent of the population. (FYI, I won’t be addressing the sixty percent; that’s for another post.) That forty percent breaks down to the one-percent, which is easy to comprehend. As we all know, a very small group of filthy rich individuals own the whole $hitshow. Of course, to not only own it but to make it work, as the one percent does, they need a band of useful idiots to make things run. The useful idiots are, of course, the thirty-nine percent of the white middle-class and the few & far between of those who think they are part of the middle class but in fact are nothing but pawns held a bay by the gluttonous lust of millionaire wannabe pipe-dreams. Of this group of useful idiots, guess who wants to be… Melania? That’s right, dear worst-reader. Of the thirty-nine percent of useful idiots that provide the one percent its self-evident powers of hideous mass-destruction, there are the submissive women-folk. This is that stat of female voters that voted for #Trump–as they could give a hoot about a man grabbing pu$$y because, well, their pu$$y has never been grabbed even by their sexually repressed, religious $hitbag husbands.
On that note I’ll end this worst-post with one last thought. On Sunday I plan on driving just across the boarder to Holland where there is an #Americant-like outlet mall. I plan on buying at least three pairs of Nike shoes in honour of finally FINALLY a suck-bat-balls corporation has done the right thing by, although making it disgustingly commercial, honouring Colin Kaepernick and what he’s done. Way to go Nike!
*Sexual repression of conservative men is obviously more diverse than what can be seen in their faces and/or how they practice their missionary positions. In this worst-post I’m purposely avoiding the third type of sexually repressed white male. Perhaps there’s another worst-post to cover him later. Till then, if I were to list a third form of sexual repression, it would be the one where stupid white men literally fcuk anything and, of course, never-ever know the joy of sexual activity that is NOT sadistic.
Subtitle 1: E-Book reading. Looks like there’s no turning back (for worst-moi).
Subtitle 2: A pseudo-review of e-readers.
I first started e-reading on a Kindle 2. I loved the design of the Kindle 2, especially the analog page change buttons and the odd but fully functional keyboard that enabled the best note-taking (at the time) while reading electronic books. Luckily, including voice dictation, I think I’ve finally found a viable replacement for the only Kindle I’ve ever loved. More on that in a sec. Because the battery died on my Kindle 2 and Amazon offered no upgrade, I broke down and bought a Kindle Paperwhite while it was on sale. From day one I’ve hated the thing. Talk about technology going backwards! Ok. Ok. The “Paperwhite” screen is pretty good, especially during night reading. But to be honest, that really doesn’t matter until night lamps go the way of the Dodo. Also. What can one expect from a guy like Jeff Bezos, the greatest mooch and scavenger capitalist the world has ever seen? Or do you actually believe that hijacking already marginalised capitalism from the likes of Walmart and retail, physical book stores is really such an ingenious endeavour? Please. Amazon and Bezos suck bat balls on account he’s only found a way to lead in the race to the bottom. But before I get to far off subject.
I’ve pretty much given up on Kindle as my e-reading device (for now). Here a few reason:
Eco-system. There’s basically three digital eco-systems that I would consider using. Amazon and Google have lost out to Apple (for now). But to be honest, if/when I have to change eco-systems, my next choice will be Google.
3G. When I needed it, it never worked. I remember once traveling through Asia and not being able to download a book for a research project. Not only that, when I finally connected to WIFI in an airport lounge, Amazon wouldn’t let me download the book that way either–something about copyright. Go figure!
Performance and obsoletism. We’ve had three Kindles in our family so far. Sure, they are relatively cheap devices but now that Amazon has gone full expensive with their newest fancy-pants Kindle (as of 2016 or so), where’s this gonna go? Their colour screen tablets are a joke. They can’t make a phone. And that voice-AI speaker thing… No thanks!
Of all the Kindles we’ve had (I can’t remember exactly but it’s somewhere between three and four), they are all, after eighteen or so months, great door stops. The third gen Paperwhite in the pic above is also so incredibly slow that it’s no fun to use. Yeah, Jeff Bezos. Innovation ain’t just about bringing something to market but also making it better without breaking the bank.
I gave up using an iPad 4 three years ago. The main reason for giving it up was because 1) I’m a Mac guy and 2) I have an iPhone. Although I did learn to appreciate the iBooks interface and preferred it over the Kindle, the iPad 4 was just too heavy as a reading device. There are times when I read for more than two hours. But last year after my wife upgraded from her shattered iPad Air 2 to an iPad Pro, we also discovered in a drawer her shattered first gen iPad Air. We traded in the shattered iPad Air 2 and she got a pretty good deal on a new iPad Air Pro. But since Apple only lets you trade in one device for another device, we put the shattered first gen iPad Air back in the drawer. While visiting our local Apple store a few months later, I happened across a conversation with one of the dunces in the blue shirts. When I mentioned that I still had a shattered iPad Air he quickly checked inventory and told me that if I trade it in, he’ll sell me a brand new one for €250,-.
A brand new what, I asked.
Oh. Sorry, he said.
Even though Apple had just announced their new low-end iPad line which had a better processor and more storage, the hundred to hundred-fifty price difference wasn’t a factor. Reason? I don’t need an iPad. I especially don’t need a low-end iPad. I mean, let’s face it. As much as I fight it, it looks like Macs are doomed. Apple is going full iOS. I’ve since learned from my wife’s multiple iPad to iPad Pro experience, that I’m eventually gonna have to give in. Of course, it’ll take till iPads can drive a second monitor–as that’s the way I use both my 2016 MacBook and my 2015 MacBook Air–I’m putting off full iPad integration into my life. Again. All I really needed was a new e-reader on account of how much I hate the Kindle Paperwhite!
Long Apple-Store story short: I went home and got the shattered iPad Air. I traded it in and nervously paid €250,-. Gee, I thought, I just got the best e-book reader there is, didn’t I? And not only that. It really was a brand new first generation iPad Air with 32GB and cellular. It’s not even a refurbished one. Say what you will, dear worst-reader, about my lack of scruples when it comes to consuming tech $hit. I mean, I could have easily afforded the new iPad. I just don’t need a new iPad for anything but watching the occasional video while it’s propped up in the kitchen and I’m cutting onions or I’m consuming lots and lots of research, reading, study, etc. Since the newest Kindle (that’s waaaay overpriced one) cost almost the same… Yeah, it was a no-brainer.
I think I lucked out. I’ve had the iPad Air (version A1475) as a news reader, the occasional Plex client, definitely a useful you-tube watcher and, when needed on account I’ve already purchased books there, it’s great with the Kindle app, for about six months now. And to be honest, I’m enjoying reading/using Apple’s iBooks more and more. Not only is the iPad Air much lighter than that iPad 4, but its also got a much better screen. The only negative with the iPad as an e-reader is the battery life. Yeah, Amazon does have the advantage with that one. Which means I have to charge the iPad every night… along with all the other krapp I have to charge. But then again, compared to the Kindle, it’s a fcuking computer beast.
As stated, I really like to interact with what I’m reading. I like to write short notes in the margins of pages (of real books) and also underscore text. The iPad does that huuuuuugely better than the Kindle. In fact, with the iPad I can highlight text and if I have a comment about the text, I then call up the note function and instead of using the cumbersome iPad keyboard, I just dictate my comment and voice recognition transcribes it. Also, if I need to write anything longer, I can immediately go to Apple’s Note app, which I’ve actually become more and more dependent upon even when using my Mac. So I’m really digging Apple’s eco-system right now. It works great when reading.
Who knows how long relations with Apple’s eco-system will last. Btw, I’m still not using iCloud for all my files. I prefer Dropbox for that. Also, as far as home media is concerned since we stopped watching TV ten years ago, I haven’t and don’t plan on upgrading my old AppleTV3 anytime soon. For one thing, as stated, we don’t consume TV anymore. When we do watch stuff, we do so through the internet or our Plex server which is on a 2010 headless MacPro in the basement. Replacing our living-room TV with a new bookshelf system where my wife and I are able to combine our entire (physical) book collection into a really, really cool private library, has been one of the best choices we’ve made yet when it comes to life and living at home.
Subtitle: Enamoured after reading Schiller’s Die Jungfrau von Orleans… In German!
Note about book cover above. This is my first read of a Reclam e-book. I bought this on iBooks (2,49€) and am very pleased with how the publisher has taken the time to produce it, align it, make a joy to read on a screen. I have to admit, dear worst-reader, there’s probably no turning back for me. Although I’ll enjoy my physical book collection for the rest of my life, by slowly and surely re-reading from it, here, it doesn’t look like I’m gonna miss buying real books anytime soon.
It’s been a long time, dear worst-reader. Probably waaaay too long. So I finally broke down the other day after reading this quote from The Hitch (Christopher Hitchens) and jumped on the good foot and bought me the Reclam e-book version of (one of) Schiller’s Meisterwerks. The English title of this book is: The Maid of Orleans. Although I recall dabbling in it (for quotes) years ago in its original German, I was never able to get through much of Schiller’s writing. What a shame, eh? So let me just put this out there, dear worst-reader.
Now that I’ve finally read it in its original German, I’m totally enamoured with this play. In fact, the other night it almost had me in tears. But it wasn’t what I was reading that caused the tears. It was the fact that I was reading Schiller’s German. Yeah, baby. I was getting it. I was understanding it. I was, in fact, enjoying it so much, emotion began to over-take me. Every sentence, every stage direction, every scene and every act put me in fifteenth century France–while reading poetic German. Yeah, baby. This story became a piece of work that I didn’t want to finish. That is, I didn’t want it to end. And so. I skipped the last sentence of the final scene. That’s how I do it, don’t you know. That’s how I stay in a piece work that I never want to end. Also, since I’m getting the hang of reading these ebooks, especially on my ageing iPad Air, I’m really loving how I can so easily access my notes or highlighted text. Wait. Did I mention how flabbergasted I am with this play?
Joan of Arc according to worst-writer.
I’ve always been fascinated with story of Joan of Arc. Reason? Of all the things the Universal (Catholic) Church can do, it’s really, really good at twisting ancient stories, sewing mystery into historic events, and just flat out making $hit up in order to propagate an agenda. The story of Joan of Arc, which I believe to have been a real person, was one of its best über-lies. The only problem is, if the Church is so good at lying or making $hit up, what should one believe if one is interested in the truth? The wiki link above does provide a great deal of info regarding the story of Joan of Arc, including links to revisionist theories. But for worst-moi, something is missing.
Here a short list of what I consider acceptable worst-writer story-lines that could contain the truth about Joan of Arc:
The standard, church version (see link above). This is the canonised version of Joan of Arc where she’s a farm girl, potentially from a rich farming father, perhaps even somehow connected to royal blood, but through contact with God, she heeds the call to not just save France from England but also to unite long warring French tribes. In the end she is burned at the stake.
The conspiracy-theory. Until reading Schiller this was my favourite Joan of Arc theory. But be warned, it’s kinda out there! In it Joan was part of what remained of the royal blood of the Cathars. The Universal Church committed genocide against the Cathars between the eleventh and fourteenth century. Very few Cathars remained by the end of the fourteenth century. Of those who remained, they gained power and wealth in the chaos of the Hundred Years’ War. In fact, this theory goes so far as to claim Joan was one of the last members of the bloodline of Jesus Christ. JC, btw, is one of the founders of the Cathars as he wasn’t crucified but instead made his way to the coast of France… With his wife and family! I kinda dig the whole idear of the JC bloodline-theory because it fits well with the evil and violence committed by the Church in order to propagate their sick, authoritarian, patriarchal agenda including krapp like the inquisition, crusades, Galileo, etc. But enough of my nonsense, eh.
I finally have a new favourite version of Joan of Arc? Way to bring it on Fred Schiller!
The thing that really threw me for a loop in Schiller’s Virgin of Orleans (literal translation of the German title), is its feminism. Not well read in literature of the era, I’m curious if there is any other work from that era where females play such a prominent role–especially when it’s all about war. And not just any war but a war that French men couldn’t win. Indeed. Bring on the Feminines, baby.
The three feminists in the story are Joan, Isabeau (mother of the king) and Sorel (the kings wife). These chicks do some serious conniving. And that’s kinda cool. Also. Unlike the canonised version of the story, where Joan is arrested and tried for witchcraft, cross-dressing, and/or back-talking stupid, ugly white men–all perfect accusations by church authoritarian patriarchal mongers–Schiller instead focuses on her abilities as a warrior and a leader of men. He also makes it pretty clear how men either follow her or fear her. She is also a stedfast believer in God that in no way contradicts the dogma of the time. This leads to her fighting off charges of heresy (by cross-dressing?) but then she dies in battle thereby freeing France from the Engelländer. (Ain’t that a cool way to write it? Schiller, you da man!)
But here’s the real question that Schiller has got me asking: why would he write/create this version of an already established, canonised story at the beginning of the nineteenth century? Would it not have been more dramatic to have Joan burned at the stake? Would it not have been more titillating to portray her as a cross-dresser? Yet in Schiller’s life-time, this was his most popular play. Did his audience like this version better than the Church’s version?
Yeah. The greatest creator/perpetrator of reality distortion fields has to be religion. So much truth is out there and so much of it distorted. Why is that? Nomatter. Schiller definitely helped me sift through it (distortion) a bit more.