Never Quite Knowing Exactly What You’re Doing–The #Americant Way

three dollar bill apple logo (low res)

Disclaimer: some poignant and verbose language is in this post. Good luck.

Yeah, dear worst-reader. We’re here once again. It’s time to get it on about my beloved & missed #Americant, the Land Of Free To Be Stupid, where dysfunction wallows in a toilet bowl that some think is a swamp and will never, ever, be cleaned. So what’s on the ranting plate this time? More mis-newz about the greed $hitshow of dysfunction that is the realm where college grads do their automaton corporatism at the behest of hierarchy, spite and, my favourite, sweet-bitter-schadenfreude. And what corporation best exemplifies it all? That’s right. You guessed it. Apple.

So. Like. I’m walking Beckett the killer pug and listening to the latest MacBreak Weekly podcast the other day and suddenly the pseudo-bourgeoisie talking-heads of Silicon Valley start talking about an article that tries to explain how #Americant can’t manufacture anything anymore–even if it wanted to, let alone follow the delusions of President Stupid. According to the article (see link below), the delay of delivering its über-expensive, trash-can über-Mac back in 2013 was due to the #Americant assembly plant’s inability to either get or make special screws that were required for the device. This caused Tim Cook & Co.–Tim is a specialist, by-the-buy, in manufacturing and sourcing, he is not a business or tech guru!–to have to resort to some extreme actions and order the screws needed to make this thing… you guessed it… In the end in order to make anything, even make something in #Americant, it can only be done via China.

Whoop-dee-fcuking-doo, eh.

Now. That’s all fine and dandy. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have made heads or toes about the issue. But then the Silicon Valley talking heads starting to ramble on about why #Americant can’t make the screws–instead of getting on about what the real issue is–what the real issue should be. For you see, dear worst-reader, it’s not about whether or not Tim & Co. can source the parts they need from inside the US in order to make the claim that an Apple product is made in US. The real issue, and the thing Apple doesn’t want anyone talking about, is the simple fact that the screws for the device are part of the companies ever lasting desire to monopolise everything. You know, as in, make everything it does, everything it sells, everything it shows, EVERYTHING, proprietary.

screwed screw
Apple proprietary $hitty screws from 2010 MacPro HDD trays.

The problem is, when corporations get so fcuking greedy and resort to this level of, well, GREED–I mean what else is it really?–then things go awry. The reason they go awry is because customers don’t want to be burdened with proprietary stuff that shouldn’t be proprietary. I mean, we’re dealing with screws here, dear worst-reader. I get it that Apple owns its software and hardware technologies and it is the anthesis of open-source… But screws??? Seriously?

As you’ll note in the pic above, I’ve already scorned Apple for this level of bull$hit. Although the cheese-grader MacPro (I owned a 2010 MacPro until recently) was the best piece of hardware ever–and I wish I could have kept it–Apple’s lust for making great products obsolete has no boundaries (hence the reason I got rid of my MacPro). Of the four trays I had on my MacPro, each with four special, non-standard Philips screws made out of some form of soft-metal, at least two of the screws on each tray were stripped because I couldn’t get the proper screw-driver for them. Why? Why would a company do this? What purpose does it serve? Obviously Apple’s college edumacated bull$hitters–all of whom have probably never created anything–could answer that question toot-sweet–with more bull$hit. My point, though, is this: they don’t have to do this. Just like President Stupid doesn’t have to be an a$$hole and #Americants don’t have to be… #Americants… Then again… If everyone’s an a$$hole…

They’re just fcuking screws, man. And because the screws don’t meet the whims of corporate $hitbags that couldn’t manage their way out of a paper bag… The reason Apple can’t make its $hit in the US is because workers in China are better slaves than #Americants–but just give #Americants a bit more time. Plus shareholders and hoarders and greed-mongers love things the way they are. Ain’t that right, dear worst-reader? On that note, typing this worst-post on a new MacBook, I hope Steve Jobs is getting fcuked in the a$$ down in Hades lair right now.

Rant on.


Links that motivated this post:

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