It was supposed to be about the wine last Sunday. But we sat across a couple from Engaland. That is, she was German and he was Cockey. Other than that, nice folks, don’t you know. But then, after an agreement on Grauburgunder there was a sudden disagreement on Monarchies. A disagreement on Monarchies, of course, lead (worst-moi) to other pseudo criticisms derived from being a failed expat. For you see, dear worst-reader, the holy trinity for the grand $hitshow that is the world we live in today is thus:
- capitalism run-amok
- religion
- monarchs
(Note on list above: not necessarily in that order.)
The thing is, at times I just can’t help myself. I mean, of all the #Eurowasteland places I’ve been, of all the languages that confuse (for none of them do the opposite of confuse), the one place that has always fcuked with my head the most… is Engaland. Sure, I share a cousin-relative language with the Brits. I also grew up in an area of my beloved & missed #Americant that even serves (lusts for) the same kind of greasy breakfast. And then there’s the confusion of our flags. You know, the Union Jack and the Stars & Stripes. Or is it red, white and blue that makes them all the same? Wait. The French and the Dutch also have red, white and blue. Ok. Forget flags.
Here’s the gist of this worst-post. After being invited to a wine tasting that I didn’t want to attend in the first place, and then letting myself go–as I can easily do when it comes to drinking–we were savouring a joyous 2018 Grauburgunder (Pinot Noir) that tasted of slate, rose pedals and a hint of berry-galore when I turned to my new Engaland comrade and said:
Yeah, but you guys, instead of worrying about playing second fiddle to the fcuking Germans–as you always do unless the Americans come to help you beat their a$$–maybe it’s finally time to heed what the continent was able to do where and when it counts: get rid of that fcuking useless queen and her inbreds. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not just singling out your piece-of-shit, useless monarchy. You should even help the rest of the world get rid of all monarchies. Come on. Wouldn’t that be a good thing instead of bitching & moaning about how Germans are better at everything–especially democracy, government services and, of course, making $hit? What purpose does a monarch serve these days? None. So come on, dude. Pull a French Revolution on hereditary privilege. (Long pause.) Prosit!
Anywho. The wine was great. We ordered something like 300,-€ worth of it, which’ll be delivered in mid May. And it also looks like I’ve failed my wife again at the task of making friends.
Rant on.
-T
worstwriter 