Pseudo-Review: To Sit Or To Stand

Consumed-to-survive me one of them fancy-pants Ikea electric adjustable desks a few months back, dear worst-reader. And don’t you know, it’s a pretty half-decent, fairly useable thing–if you need/should stand while worst-writing. Luckily for worst-moi, as you can see in the pic above, the smallest version of the desk fits perfectly into the only remaining wall space of my mancave. It’s like having an adjustable corner to stare into the light/darkness of my brain as pseudo-ness-galore swirls around dribbling words of nonsense. Or maybe not.

After a rough start, dear worst-reader, I’ve been impressed with this desk. Why the heck it’s so expensive, I can’t say. But isn’t everything we think we need expensive? That’s how they get us, right? Even though desks of this type are pricey, and this one might lack in a bit of bling-bling compared to others, it definitely holds its own. I mean, five hundred or so Euros ain’t nothing to shake a worst-stick at. And that was the biggest hindrance to getting the thing in the first place. Yet, after a few months of use, slowly un-regretting buying it, getting a hang on how the thing works, I’m actually impressed. Oh. Wait. It should have more variety in colours. Yeah, my better half made sure I understood that. She hates the colour. Nomatter.

For five hundred or so Euros and you get a very solid, adjustable desk. And when I say solid, I mean the desktop is waaaaay sturdy. In fact, one of the things I really like about it is that when I’m sitting down and I’m done working, even though it doesn’t touch the wall for support–on account there has to be some space from the wall so that the desk can rise up and down–I can still push on it so that my seat can roll out from underneath. The desk doesn’t shift or move at all. Indeed. A very sturdy desk whether used while standing or sitting. Even though I don’t use one anymore, I think it would even work well as a sturdy undercarriage when typing on one of my old mechanical typewriters. Ah. A moment of nostalgia, eh. Sturdy under-carriages galore while typing…? Moving on.

Typical for Ikea desks, this one also has one of those net thingies underneath it for holding/organising cables. Although during assembly I managed to break one of the mounts that holds the net and I haven’t yet bothered to fix it, it works. I was so pissed at the moment I broke it, don’t you know. Why and h-e-double-toothpicks does Ikea instruct one to use a real–as in metal–hammer to hammer in cheap, plastic mounts in order to secure the net? First, using a hammer like that means there’s no feel regarding how much force is required for the mounts. I broke the first one. After that I inserted the mounts with my fingers and then carefully went over them with a rubber hammer to make sure they were secure and in place. If hit too hard, though, the rubber hammer might break the mounts, as well. Anywho. The net has enough mounts that one missing doesn’t seem to effect it. Come on, Ikea!

The only gripe I have with this desk is height adjustment. Although sleek and discreet, the lever works fine and the desk raises and lowers smoothly. Height adjustment is a bit of an oddity, though. If you bother to research/shop for this type of desk, you’ll find there are others that offer better height control. Unfortunately for me those other products aren’t readily available where I live, plus, when compared with all the bling-bling, this desk is very competitive. Bling-bling here or there, this desk isn’t less functional. That is, other brands offer preset buttons for desk height. I thought that was something I needed. When asked, Ikea simply said that this unit had no presets. Whaaaaaa?

It has presets. When you connect the app, you can set three desk heights. You would think that after setting the heights all you have to do is tap the height setting in the app and the desk will activate accordingly. But that’s not how it works. You still have to use the lever on the desk or the up/down arrows on the app. What isn’t explained anywhere–at least I didn’t find it and the Ikea person I talked to didn’t know either–is that once you have set a preset height, all you have to do is hold the lever and it will go to that preset height and stop. And that’s the ticket. You have to activate the lever. Could this be done differently without breaking the bank? Sure. Why not. It’s just a matter of doing a bit more with the app. Come on Ikea, get your $hit together.

All-in-all this has been a worthwhile purchase. In fact, if they come out with an all white version, my better-half might even get one. As of the writing of this worst-post, they are only available in brown and black desktops with the odd, off-colour (is it beige?) legs. Aghast! Again. Come on Ikea.

Rant (and consume) on.

-T

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