Praise Be To The Bighorn Sheep Of The Monolith Mountain Of Stupid

The one true god. Or maybe not.

Sub (or worst) title (2): Making über fun of conservatism because… well…

  • it can’t understand Kubrick’s monolith
  • it’s fun making fun of stupid

First. Conservatism ain’t and never was about workers. You know, workers being the same as the-working-poor. For don’t you know, dear worst-reader, there’s no such thing as a poor conservative. Or? I mean. There are plenty of stupid people. There are also plenty of poor poeple. And so. Put stupid and poor together, add in a bit of faux-newz plus Limbaugh & co., and there you have it. Never before have stupid poor people joined the ranks of their own demise until the late twentieth century rise of post Ronald Reagan #Americant. Indeed. But let’s not get too tied-up high-n-dry in the never-more of #Americant politics. Or?

Second. It’s been a while, eh dear worst-reader? I mean. For a while there, recently, I thought I was gonna give up worst-blogging. Then I got to thinking: there have been times before that I wasted a thought or three about quitting this nonsense. And by quitting I don’t just mean worst-blogging. For in these times of greed and stupidity there is so much to quit. And so. Let’s just call the last two months of nothingness… a hiatus (see previous post)? Yeah. Whatever.

Worst-subject of the day? Well, don’t you just know it. Somewhere hidden deep in your bones–or is it the amygdala part of the brain–there lies a worst-writer issue worth addressing–and, perhaps, worth bringing worst-writer out of hiatus semi-pseudo-retirement. And so. The worst subject of the day is all about STUPID. As in: LAND OF FREE TO BE STUPID. Which means: your question, dear worst-reader, can only be: oh, worst-writer, but how STUPID is #Americant? Good question. Yeah, let’s go there.

It all worst-begins with a helicopter flying around the good looking wasteland canyons of Utah in search of bighorn sheep. For, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, helicopters are needed by the state to look after sheep–as in: don’t let the flock run amok. Shame the same doesn’t work for sheeple, right? Also. Here’s another idear and/or worst-thought about what this is/could be about: them bighorns gotta live large, don’t you know. For they are a protected species. And. Once again. Sheep do need protection. Gee! I’m now wondering if these protected sheep wear red hats with something really, really, really stupid written on them? You know. Like: MAKE AMERICA EVEN STUPIDER! #Nomatter.

While this helicopter is flying around and looking out for bighorn sheep, the pilot is distracted by something in them-thar canyons. You know, something bright, something shinny, something like a boob but probably a bit more distracting. Indeed. Something that may or mayn’t make the dog in your head go: squirrel! And so. Worst-writer can only guess that the pilot is distracted by a glow caused by natural or unnatural phenomena under the hooves of bighorn sheep. Keep in mind, since the area is protected land, any and all observable anomalies have to be recorded in the name of… you guessed it: protecting the environment. Yeah, we know how rural bumfcuk #Americant loves a good investigation into the suspiciousness of inspecting the environment. And so.

Thanks to the wonders of GPS tracking and a few too many loudmouths here and there within the confines of conformist government agencies, soon a monolith–i.e. the glow that stirred our pilot, derelict mentioned previously–is the centre of Utah nowhereland along side a bit too much television-interwebnet for-stupid-people. And so. If you want to know more about the monolith that made it to the newz, see the links below. For, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, such a ornament, work of art, sign from the heavens, actually interests me very little. Reason? I’m all in on monoliths. I understand how they can be interpreted by some (#MAGA hat wearing morons) as something that they are not. For. Indeed. I get what Kubrick was up to in 2001 Space Odyssey. Yet if it weren’t for the reaction by certain #Americant reactionaries (#MAGA hat wearing morons), the likes of which have, for all practical purposes, long since overtaken my beloved & missed united mistakes, I would have just let this thing go.

But we are here to worst-write about STUPID–of which there is so much to wort-write about. Am I wrong.

The worst-thing that caught worst-writer’s interest about this monolith thing is this: will/can those interested in this phenomenon react to it not unlike Stanley Kubrick predicted? That is. Here’s the thing. The reaction to this phenomenon is two fold: The monolith…

  • was planted by aliens
  • is a golden (biblical) calf, i.e. false god and in the confines of #MAGA hat wearing #Americant must be destroyed at all costs, even if that cost entails missing out on your next ice cream with sparkles

Either way, dear worst-reader, those who have picked up on this newz report are trying to turn it into yet another proverbial match that could/should be thrown into the gaslight of #Americant politics lead by right-wing batshittery. Again. Am I wrong.

But before I worst-continue with calling-out my republican, conservative brethren (for all their STUPID), allow me to provide a bit of context. If you haven’t seen Kubrick’s 2001 Space Odyssey, here’s a quick worst-writer summary. First. 2001 Space Odyssey is a three-part movie from the mindset of the 1950s to the end of the 1960s. That mindset, of course, is driven by comic-book sci-fi but is also a stream of consciousness if not picturesque cinematic novel.

In reverse order, part three of the movie is a 1960’s drug induced fantasy sci-fi without beginning and end–which may or may not be the end of ALL stream of consciousness antics post Ronald Reagan (hence Kubrick’s vision). Part two is a sci-fi wonder that is, like so many other Kubrik movies, unfinished but still worth watching (I’m thinking of the movie AI). Part one of the movie is the crutch of the film and depicts what is simply titled: The Dawn of Man. It is part one of this movie that #Americant conservatism can’t understand or grasp or comprehend but is somehow pushed to the forefront by those who embody so much STUPID all on account they can’t interpret anything unless it’s portrayed on a bumper sticker or a t-shirt.

In part one of Kubrick’s masterpiece a monolith plays a pivotal role along side prehistoric man. Or should I say: along side the precursor of man? #Nomatter. It is the monolith that depicts man’s awakening (at man’s evolutionary dawn). In fact, this monolith is so powerful that the movie suddenly breaks from prehistoric but upright evolved man to space flight as it continues directly into part two. What an achievement eh. But could Kubrick have known–back then–that his monolith would eventually be over-taken by #MAGA hat wearing morons in the name of #Trump and THE LAND OF FREE TO BE STUPID because the grand teapot in the sky says so? For, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, this monolith thingy that has been in the newz of late is being seen as exactly that which it is not. It is not a false god that must be torn down. It is instead a request (to humanity) to cut out all the STUPID.

But I die-gress.

As you’ll note in the links below, especially the video link of the #MAGA-religious idiots tearing down a subsequent monolith that was put up in California and thereby claiming that #Americant is a christian nation… I mean… Come on! How far does #Americant religious batshittery have to go before a second enlightenment need come? Am I wrong, dear worst-reader? Do you get what the enlightenment was really about? What it was for? What purpose it served? Or are you too waiting for a second enlightenment–so that we can finally move on from what obviously made #Americant so f’n STUPID post Ronald f’n Reagan to president pee-pee-hair? I mean. Seriously. Fake monoliths, somehow installed on government land, make the eyes pop out of people because somehow, somewhere, they are reminded of the fact that Stanley Kubrick took certain liberties with an Isaac Asimov story and thereby turned an object of something or another (a monolith) into a religious symbol that ultimately brought mankind out of the intellectual darkness only so that it could eventually devolve back to that same darkness in the form of president piss-hair and his money-grubbing, fail-upwards followers. Or maybe not. Anywho.

Let the devolution continue. That way at least worst-writer can still be entertained.

Rant on.