Love this story, dear worst-reader. Could it be the beginning of what should have been real for oh so long? You know. The fact that Florida is probably the best geographic region of my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant to represent all-things wrong (worst) when it comes to dealing with… Wait for it. Here it comes. That’s right. The climate thingy. And to think there are people in Florida that have to deal with their insurance premiums rising on account… Wait for it. Here it comes. That’s right. Who would have thunk that on a planet where water is both a godsend and danger (on account most of it is a bit too salty) rich white arseholes would have taken better care (going back fifty or so years) about not only their stupid gardens but also… Wait for it. Here it comes. That’s right. The friggin environment.
And on that note. Seriously. Considering who has retired recently there, on account if he were to set foot in his native NYC he might be lynched, and if Florida were to fall into the ocean, would you miss it? I mean. It’s like the moon suddenly going away. Other than mass tidal floods, would you really miss the fcukin’ moon? Come on. Especially considering how that whole romantic moonlight bull$hit has turned women into the vampires that suck the life out of our hero’s like donald jay trump and the hairdo goats of Queens, NY.
Ok. Enough worst-sarcasm.
Rant on, suckers.
Florida property insurers are jacking up rates by double-digit percentages, blaming the hikes on lingering damage from past hurricanes, a wave of litigation, and a law that encourages lawyers to sue by allowing courts to award them big fees.