Worst-title 2: After Nazis and DDR what will be Germany’s third atonement?
Oh, it’s so rare, dear worst-reader. So rare that I sit back and watch a German tv-movie. You know. Those movies that have looked, sounded and play-out the same since… Well, since post WW2/Wirtschaftswunder Germany got all whacky with their Tatort and Doctors working in the German Alps, etc, TV shows. Or something like that. But before I get too far off worst-subject complaining about the same looking actors on the same looking shows, let me worst-move on.
I watched the film Honecker und der Pastor the other night. The creative personality behind this film is no-less than Jan Josef Liefers, who I believe is one of the founders of the #allesdichtmachen campaign that I’ve worst-written about here (more info below). In the spirit of keeping my worst-writing as short as possible, allow me to say this as my worst-critique of this movie: what a missed opportunity. Now that we have that behind us, let’s get it on.
The thing is, dear worst-reader, I was here when the wall came down. At the time I was glued to the news and tv and papers and magazines through the whole ordeal. I took a few train rides to Berlin during that time. I remember trading a pair of Levis for a watch with a random guy from Dresden that I’ve since lost and it only worked for a week after I got it. The reason I traded something valuable for something worthless was because the watch had written on its face: Made in the DDR. I thought that was cool. I also worked for the Truehandanstalt that was responsible for privatising and/or selling-off the DDR’s state owned enterprises. Yea. I did all that while at the same time securing my future as a loser on account I should have jumped ship just as fast as I did when I left my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant. You know. I’m one of them slow learners. So it took me a few years (a few years too late) to figure out that once the train got rolling that would become REUNIFICATION, as a foreigner, my days were numbered as a productive participant in good ole Germania. Hence, by the end of the 90s, I got the full wrath of Deutschland den Deutschen (Germany for Germans). Obviously I never left but I also found a way to give up any career aspirations on account there are just too many lonely people in godforsaken Germania and #Eurowasteland. And so. Having been forced into a kind of early retirement, I gave into the idear that I would simply marry-well, stop working all together and that’s that. But enough about worst-moi and the uninspiring choices I’ve made, eh.
The early days of German reunification was kind of mind-boggling. That the Helmut Kohl government committed to a one-to-one exchange rate of West Deutsche Marks to (worthless) East Deutsche Marks was a shocker. Then there was the Solidaritätszuschlag which was an abrupt and not insubstantial tax surcharge that would be added to a life of über-taxation–which to this day I believe still exists. And let’s not forget about the Ossi vs. Wessi culture war that engulfed the new unified country–and which I had a particular fun time with on account it added to the schtick I played as a stupid Ausländer (foreigner) making fun of both sides. But none of that holds a crock of significance compared to how the commie cocksuckers of the DDR got away with more than just murder. In fact, I was shocked out of my wits when the Germans let the Honeckers leave for Chili. For let it be worst-said here, dear worst-reader. If there’s anything I hate more than monarchs, it’s commie cocksuckers that get away with (more than) murder.
Which brings me back to my worst-critique about Honecker und der Pastor that Jan Josef Liefers screwed up. For you see, dear worst-reader. Germany has much to atone for in its short history. Keep in mind. The country of Germany, as we all know and love–you know, its Fräuleins, its Bier, Cars, Autobahns, bread and the women, the women, the women–has only been in existence since 1949. And in that short period of time it has to show the world that it can do better than Nazis. Unless, of course, you are a fcuking commie cocksucker. Which also means this relatively young country has to show the world that it can do better than the DDR. As far as I’m concerned, it’s done a pretty good job regarding all them fcuking Nazis. But it’s not done a good job about the DDR. Why that is remains to be seen but I’m guessing it has to do with stuff that I’ll never understand. You know. Pacifism (for the sake of pacifism). Free will (until it has something to do with someone else’s money). And let’s not forget that whole god and religion thing. For if you’re not aware, dear worst-reader, religion still plays a huge role in the life & times of most of #Eurowastelanders–and especially Germanians.
The story of Honecker und der Pastor is about a brief relationship between a DDR Evangelical pastor who takes into his home the former leader commie cocksucker Eric Honecker, who just happens to be, due to certain circumstances (sarcasm off), homeless and destitute. Of course, the pastor doesn’t just put up Eric Honecker but also his wife Margot, who is more of a commie cocksucker than Eric. These two people, who once brutally and ruthlessly ruled East Germany as though they were the hand of some commie cocksucker evil-god, stayed with the pastor and his family until they would eventually leave Germany for Chile. Now. That’s fine and dandy. Jan Josef Liefers does a good job of putting this story together. Where he fails–in worst-writer’s opinion–is finding more ways to be critical of what commie cocksuckers really are. Namely. Commie cocksuckers and any other form of authoritarianism, whether religious or political (ideology), deserves no respite when it comes to ridicule, criticism and being portrayed as anything other than, well, commie cocksuckers. It’s the job of the artist–the true artist–to do just that. That is why as I watched this movie I had the following dialogue with my better-half.
Worst-moi: What’s the point of portraying the Honecker’s as human? It’s the same mistake they made in the movie Der Untergang (Downfall).
My better-half: The movie is not about the Honecker’s it’s about the Pastor and his family. It’s a nice story.
Worst-moi: No woman! You’re wrong. It’s not a nice story. Germans don’t have nice stories. And besides it should be a movie about how this fcuking country should atone for all its sins, which now includes the fcuking DDR! Fcuk. This $hit pisses me off. How come they don’t hire me to write this $hit. I’ll give you and your fcuking Germans a story. A fcuking worst-writer story about fcuking commie cocksuckers, baby.
My better-half: Oh. Atonement. Yea. More atonement. That’s a good one.
As good as the movie Der Untergang is, it shares one thing with this movie. For whatever reason the Germans are having a hard time, at least in their story telling, dealing with their past. Politically and legally, I have no issues with Germany. In fact, unlike my beloved & missed #Americant, I’d put Germany up against any western country that claims to be law abiding and politically just. As far as Germany’s capitalism, well, that’s a whole other worst-post. But let me worst-say this. Considering how Germany’s capitalism has reunited this country, I’d say there are worse examples out there regarding the what/how countries distribute consume-to-survive and/or wealth. Is that, perhaps, a reason Jan Josef Liefers thinks it’s ok to portray monsters as humans? And even if Honecker und der Pastor is about the humanity of a DDR evangelical family, I’m worst-wondering if this movie would have been better served without so much of the Honeckers that history only needs to remember for their disservice and abuse (of humanity).