Settling Family Business, KGB Godfather Style

Wow, dear worst-reader. Can things get any worst–for Russian oligarchs? I bet it can. You know why I’m making that bet? There are quite a few Russian oligarchs out there and it looks like Putin has only gotten to a half dozen of them. You know. Putin is settling family business. Like in the Godfather movie. The invasion of Ukraine is his alibi, don’t you know. Michael Corleone’s alibi was a godchild’s baptism, wasn’t it? Is there a difference between a godchild baptism and invading a country? OK. Let’s cut to the worst-chase. Putin is a wannabe pseudo-godfather nation-state two-bit peasant dictator and the world should hate him. Oh. And. Things are probably gonna get a lot more worst for Putin.

But what about all the dead oligarchs popping up all over the place?

Worst-writer is sure there isn’t a lot of mourning going on for a few dead Russian oligarchs. But I do feel for their families, especially when their children are being slaughtered along side them. Considering how these men got rich in the first place, dear worst-reader… wow. What a $hitshow of greed the sell-off of the Soviet Union must have been. Can you see it? Naked, knuckle dragging white men clamouring up walls of human flesh, grinding and piercing through bloodied skin and eyes and babies, making their way to the top. Obviously, over the past twenty or so years, Putin won the $hitshow of greed. Or did he? Could that be why he’s in such a panic right now? Add to that the left-behind and forgotten peasantry of Russia not being capable of ever knowing the difference between freedom and dictatorship… Yeah. What a f’n mess.

Since the start of the Ukraine war here’s what Putin has accomplished, according to worst-writer:

  • His February 22 speech was so bat$hit crazy, more on that here, history is gonna laugh at him forever
  • After more than two months of fighting he’s gotten himself into a quagmire which might be worse than The Soviet Union’s Afghanistan fiasco in the 1980s
  • He underestimated The West’s resolve to fight against him without committing to a land war
  • If reports are correct about Russian military performance, a well equipped Ukraine might be the least of Putin’s problems

The only worst-question remaining is how much death and damage and misery will this small-Schwanz-man leave behind?

Godspeed Ukraine!

Rant on.

-T

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