Sub-worst-title: Thoughts on Apple’s Sept, 2022 event.
First, dear worst-reader, the title of this worst-post is from the song Silent All These Years by Tori Amos. If, btw, you want to melt worst-writer, put me near Madame Amos. I would jump off mountains for her, bring down aeroplanes full of conservative idiots for her, crush Republican man-children for her, thereby squishing their innards between my toes, laughing and giggling through my nose, all the while listening to the thunder of one of the greatest rock music composers ever–that just happens to also be the epitome of the human female, female and more female. But on that note I should die-gress for my loins churn me to unrest.
Since I’m on the subject of menstruation and technology and my love and respect for females, something extraordinary caught my eye and ears yesterday while watching Apple’s marketing circus, especially the part about the new Apple Watch. Or am I over worst doing it when I say that I couldn’t help but think of the politics of my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant as Apple presented its newest incarnation of a time machine that can also track a woman’s cycle? The video link above, by-the-buy, is time-stamped for the presentation, which starts at about the nine minute mark. And what a presentation it is IMHO.
The thing is, dear worst-reader–and fellow lovers of all-things feminist–I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Apple might be taking a political swipe with this presentation about its wunder-watch capabilities. Well. Political as much as profits go, don’t you know. Specifically. Apple is using this five minute presentation, certainly seen by millions of people, to explain how a watch tracks a woman’s cycle. Now. That’s great. Technology is fun. But. And I may be worst over doing it here. For what do I know about ovulation? Indeed. Using a female doctor to explain all this, she also uses words like privacy and women’s health numerous times. Important words in selling a gadget? Again. Indeed. What do I know about this stuff? Then again… For those not in the know, allow worst-writer to recap one of the pillars of the political krapp-show that is #Americant:
What one should never forget about this landmark decision dating back to 1973 is that it’s not entirely about abortion. It is, in fact, about privacy. Hence the recent overturning of Roe is at the same time an attack on what should be an inalienable human right, with or without a Constitution. That misconstrued man-children, including their delusional if not abused sister-wives (what other kind of female would marry these extreme conservative men), think they have the high-ground on the morality of abortion is only further proof of what’s ahead for my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant–unless it can get itself out of the (political) $hithole it’s dug itself in with the likes of the GOP, republicans and so-called centrists. But let’s not get too far off subject here.
During the watch presentation I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Apple was taking a swipe at the current political situation #Americant has gotten itself into by voting for republicans and conservatives for the past fifty friggin years. Does that mean that a watch will help women in need? Of course not. Is there a ten year old rape victim in need of an abortion that can afford one of these watches? But. Again. I die-gress.
Other than privacy, the other issue of misconstrued #Americant politics regarding inalienable human rights that only apply to females is that all-things women’s health should NEVER be questioned by the state. It’s none of the State’s business. It is, in fact, nobody’s business except for the woman. Apple seems to know this. But until that inalienable right is given the freedom she deserves, worst-writer can only hope that an ingloriously profitable corporation making gadgets no one needs, but are still kinda fun, is at least taking one small stance on what is the right thing to do or say.
And so. Apple has a new watch gadget that tracks a woman’s cycle and they want people to know that privacy and health is a priority. I love how they go about explaining that. In times like these, I’m still dreaming about the one that got away and in that same dream she’s singing to me Silent All These Years by Tori Amos.