Had to look it up, dear worst-reader. Had to look up what a white lie is. Reason? National (or is it media) gaslighting can be confusing. Or? Don’t you know. That thing that has turned my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant into a hellhole of mass shootings, train wrecks, bridge failures, shooting down a twelve dollar balloon with a four hundred million dollar anti-aircraft missile, potholes galore and last but certainly not least, the #Americant BFF, #Trump.
When I was a kid, a white lie was told when you got caught, crumbs on your face, with your hand in the cookie jar, and you deny having taken a cookie. It‘s simple form of defence, don‘t you know, against the tyranny of parents—or whatever authority is watching over you and your broken family life. Now. According to the definition above (pic), I‘m wrong. The definition above relegates a white lie to being unimportant or trivial and does no harm, etc. Let‘s see about that.
Today’s worst-post is about former prez pee-pee-hair vs what‘s left of rational thinking people in the LAND OF FREEDOM TO BE STUPID. For #Trump, rational thinking people could be the same as tyrannical parents—which I‘m sure he had. The problem is, as is the case with most peoples struggling to cope with the reality of consuming-to-survive, just like Mango Mussolini btw, all think that lying is relative. And so. Does it really matter if a lie, white or not, is trivial? If so. Can a white lie be as trivial as a big lie? Obviously—it sure can.
Think: corporal vs capital punishment.
The reality is, dear worst-reader, most of us are forced or coerced, in one way or the other, to kick the lie habit that childhood, broken or not, forces upon us. And that’s a good thing, right? For it should be common sense, from the get-go, that lying can, when pushed to the limits, make life difficult. But we’re #Americants, eh. Wait. Did I just worst-write common sense with the mention of a certain nationality? #Nomatter.
Lying effects relationships whether friend, lover or foe. It can ruin careers and burn bridges. And it can certainly ruin ones taste for cookies—out of Mom‘s cookie jar. Then again. If the lying life doesn’t or can‘t change, should it provide a lavish and luxuries life—for those who can pull it off because they know nothing else? You know. People like #Trump and most #OKBoomers. The privileged ones. The ones who have lived the lie that is meritocracy. Or. If you are reared in a world of lies, should it be a surprise to anyone that a new generation is falling for it? You know. George Santos or the physical manifesting of Beavis, Matt Gaetz? And let‘s not forget the daily use of lying (and cheating) that is a corporation—who are people too.
I no longer think about how or why #Trump and his kind aren‘t prosecuted. It‘s obvious that between the DOJ and moneyed interests, something has gone beyond being simply über wrong. #Americant! The only question I have is when will enough people wake up? Enough being more than a political majority. And that‘s where the ticket is, eh, dear worst-reader. The genius of #Trump is not his abilities to lie and cheat and grift. No. He‘s obviously been caught with a hand in the cookie jar his whole life. And so. It‘s the genius of the moneyed interests combined with political ideology that facilitates and enables lying and grifting and buffoonery at a cultural, social, political, WWE way of life—which so many are coerced, forced to assume.
Considering the recent evidence released from a defamation lawsuit filed against FoxNews can it be more obvious how a cultural of lies and grifting and scamming has permeated every aspect of life? Or is this the best evidence ever that it‘s time to stop via regulation—severe regulation—the political propaganda laid out for all to see twenty-four seven on the TV that turns so many people into complete and utter dunces? Indeed. Life can be a cookie jar even when the jar is empty.
Can you believe it, dear worst-reader. Don‘t you know. Am I wrong. A newly elected house of mis-representative brought granades to work and dished them out as symbols to his compatriots. WTF. Indeed. Or. I guess. He did such a thing to celebrate his entering the sanctimony of the united mistakes of #Americant house of–you-know-what. Again. WTF. According to other worst-sources, this person is a child of my beloved & missed #Americantswaroftheworlds. That is. He is part of a world that has given-in to the narrative of 9/11. Yet he (as so many others) have never asked… WHY would they do this? In other worst-words, this is what happens when you raise your boys NOT with education and cultivation but with guns and toys and tanks and toys and games and submissive wives, and and and, etc., etc.
Granades. Inert granades.
This is a person whose only solution to any political issue is… You guessed it. That‘s right. Violence. And we‘re not talking corporal punishment here. You know. The/that form of punishment that has, shall we say, influenced so many young people in my beloved & missed #Americant. Add to that. This is a war-child reared… You guessed it again. In/on war. And I’m worst-sure he served well. Then again. He knows NOTHING else. Such a gesture of gifting inert granades, made in the state he represents, proves that. Or? The saddest part? Technically he was never in a war. A declaration of war never happened in this mans life. The armies he fought against? Rag-tag criminals with a seriously ill-bent religious ideology. Is that an enemy? Well. Sure, it is. At the least. It was an enemy in the Middle Ages. And here we are.
The Middle Ages.
The thing is, dear worst-reader, I don‘t know what to be more sad about. All the death and destruction taking place because a once really, really cool nation-state was cool but has since been relegated to poverty galore aka consume-to-survive or the wanton ignorance of NOT rising above–all the above.
Well. Don‘t you know. Dear worst-reader. Worst-writer is still pretty tickled with the new iPad Air 5. In fact. Since the iOS 16.2 update, where there are significant improvements to driving a second monitor, I haven‘t touched my 2017 twelve inch MacBook. This iPad not only blows the MacBook away–even as a replacement for running my MacBook on my desktop in clamshell mode–every time I use it I can‘t get over how fast it is. That worst-said. I’m almost full-in on the iPad replacing the/my Mac. For example.
Using Apple’s StageManager means that I can easily integrate my entire workflow on two screens and at times it feels like I have three monitors. The thing is, I rarely used my MacBook monitor when on my desktop, hence clamshell. Even though the twelve inch MacBook is Apple’s smallest, the iPad has a much more useable desktop footprint. Again. Space saving clamshell mode. Obviously I also don’t have a very large desk, so space saving is important. As far as multi-monitor performance, the only issue I’m having is adapting to the differences between MacOS and iOS. As an old Mac user, the differences are not unsubstantial. But I think I’m making progress.
The main issue I‘m having with the iPad right now is, would you believe, that someone at Apple thought it a good idear to not make AirPlay available when the iPad is connected to an external monitor (see screenshot above)? WTF! I mean. This is/has to be an error. Or? #Nomatter. The work around I‘ve found for this, well, is to not use Airplay. Instead I’m connect via using Bluetooth to a Raspberry Pi 3b that has a Hifiberry DAC hat that is connected to a stereo and it works great. For those not in the know, the RPi3b has to have a USB bluetooth dongle, since it doesn‘t have BT onboard. There are still some issues with bluetooth connectivity but I‘ve worked them out by just sticking with Hifiberry‘s in-house OS for music play I’ll continue to work on them until Apple gets it together with Airplay. My pay-grade means that I can‘t get bluetooth working on any minimal Linux distribution on the RPi3b. HifiberryOS works like a charm, though.
A few other minor issues I‘m having? I‘m using the Keychron K2 version 2 external keyboard and for whatever reason it seems to disconnect out of the blue. It doesn‘t do it often but every once-a-once, usually after the Keychron recharges, things get hairy. Although it indicates that it reconnects right away once it‘s charged, typing doesn‘t work. Solution? Lot‘s of iPad restarts. Hopefully I don‘t have to replace this keyboard because I really dig typing with it. Might I eventually move to an iPad keyboard case? Maybe. Recent travels with the iPad haven‘t convinced me I can go without a physical, external keyboard.
Then there’s the issue of a Terminal app. Unlike MacOS, which comes with a Terminal app, that I need to manage all the Raspberry Pi‘s I have around my house, iOS doesn’t have one. Although I’ve tried a few via the AppStore, I’ve not been able to get any of them to work/connect. Again. WTF! Ok. Since I’m on a worst-roll. Another minor issue. And this relates to me getting used to iOS. The world of apps is really weird. The thing that kept my away from iPads through the years was the fact (idear) that Apps are not programs, at least they‘re not to me. Are they written/coded like programs? Sure. But I don‘t care. The thing is. Apps are nothing more than a way to make a webpage standalone–and look like it ain‘t a webpage. But. Again. I reckon I‘ve got a bit more iOS acclimating in front of me. Oh. Before I forget. The iPad as a desktop machine works really well with Apple‘s Magic Mouse. You know. Since I hate touchscreens. Who‘d a thunk it.
So there you have it, dear worst-reader. Worst-writer is on the verge of giving up on MacOS. This little iPad with only 64gb is flat-out stealing the thunder out of my Mac world, even though it still has a few flaws. Considering how I‘ve used iPads for only a short period of time and the significant improvements Apple‘s done with iOS, I can‘t praise it enough as a worst-writing work-horse.
Wow, dear worst-reader. As if there’s not enough to busy the worst-mind. You know. Enough mindfcukbat$hit that turns the head(s) of MAGA aka THE LAND OF FREEDOM TO BE STUPID aka my beloved & missed #Americant. Oh. It is everywhere. Namely. There’s former prez Cheeto-jeezus. Forgotten him yet? Talk about right-wing bat$hit looney run amok. Yeah, he’s a doozy, eh. And what about flatearthers–which has obviously been around for a while–unless you consider, I worst-suppose, there might be little difference between flatearthers and deep state believers. By-the-buy, the deep state is nothing more than two sides of the same financial and economic authoritarianism fighting for top or bottom on a bed of rotten roses, underneath hideous and flaky bedsheets. Oh! And let’s not forget that the moon landings were faked. Yeah, baby! Fake newz galore. And the Illuminati? That’s a classic one, right? But what about the new bat$hit stuff? Like the last generation. Oh wait. No. They’re actually kinda cool, kinda real, not bat$hit. Moving on.
Here in Germany there’s the Reichsbürger which has somehow connected itself to Qanon. Go figure! Yet. For those in the less slightly-bat$hit-know, let’s not forget libertarianism. The king and queen and monarchy of twenty-first century bat$hit. Libertarianism, according to worst-writer, is a conservative system of thought that, for whatever worst-reason, you have because you lost, at some point or other, your balls, which is the reason why your true calling, aka darwinism equates with economics, confuses the bee-jeezus out of you to the point that you can’t tell the difference between right and wrong, left or right or who/what you attempted to rape the previous night. Blah blah blah.
Oh yeah. Accelerationism.
On a pod-cast the other day, dear worst-reader, I got thrown for a loop. And don’t you know, just when you think the bat$hitters can’t come up with something new, you sneeze and look up at what you just heard and bam! The new kid on the bat$hit block, dear worst-reader, at least for worst-writer, is Accelerationism. In worst-short, according to the #Interwebnets, it is thus:
Accelerationism is a range of Marxist and reactionary ideas in critical and social theory that propose that social processes, such as capitalist growth and technological change, should be drastically intensified to destabilize systems to create further radical social change referred to as “acceleration”. -Source: see wiki link below
According to my worst-research, Accelerationism has been around a while but perhaps not as long as, say, The Illuminati. Ha. Ha. Ha. With that in worst-mind, and with such a comparison, it’s easy for worst-writer to categorise this new faith/belief/ideology as not only bat$hit but right-wing. If the above wiki quote doesn’t sound bat$hit enough or is a bit misleading, allow worst-writer to worst-illuminate.
Accelerationism, in short, is the idear that bat$hitters, as mentioned throughout this worst-post, in order to marginalise those who would question the legitimacy or merit of wealth, can only be controlled or subjugated by increasing social and political pressures that serve the wealthy. Now. That may or mayn’t sound contradictory because Marx is also mentioned as a proponent of Accelerationism. But. The reason it sounds contradictory to worst-writer is because many of those who attach themselves to Accelerationism obviously have no idear who/what Marx is–or they’ve found yet another new way to re/un/dis/label him–as has been the case for the last century or so. These people have all been reared in a world where political and social issues rely on propaganda as opposed to any understanding of history. If you read the wiki article (link below) it is clearly assumed that there is a left and right form or Accelerationism. Of course. The left form is Marxist. For worst-writer this connection is no different than both-sideism. In worst-short, IMHO, Marx and Accelerationism would be better connected if one understands the concept of counter-revolution–which can only happen after a revolution. Where has there been a revolution–that would cause Accelerationism to reach its current popularity? Neo-liberalism ring a bell? Austerity? Economic turmoil? Political bat$hittery? The greed $hitshow? But I die-gress.
I’m gonna go out and on a limb here and make an assumption–just like one needs to do when considering the differences between Antifa and right-wingers as they have been labeled in my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant. Marx would have used Accelerationism for revolution, I’ll give it that. The bat$hitters of today, libertarians & co., right-wingers, etc., have attached themselves to Accelerationism as a form of counter-revolution. Which is a form of, who’d a thunk it, fascism. With that in worst-mind. I think. It begs this worst-question: what was/is the revolution being countered?
Worst-Alternative title: iaWriter vs. Ulysses or the battle for writing minimalism
For worst-writer, dear worst-reader, it all started with some kinda tex-edit program or what today would be called a note app. Or maybe not. Yeah. Anywho. So it started. As in the late friggin 1980s. I’m worst-writing, of course, about writing on computer machines back when they were, indeed, glorified typewriters. Still are? #Nomatter. Seriously. They all sucked and still suck. On top of that. What happened to the idear of word-processing? But. Wait. I have to worst-admit. Now that I worst-think about it. I kinda dug WordPerfect back in the day. Again. #Nomatter. WordPerfect too was a bloated behemoth of lingering nothingness within the masterbatory-wings of windows-98 über-software krapp. Moving on.
The thing is, dear worst-reader, writing apps–software–are still struggling to not be krapp. With that in worst-mind. They’ll always be krapp. And so. No. Seriously. For most of my worst-writing life I’ve relied on apps that are, more or less, über-minimum when it comes to the $hitshow that is/should be worst-writing on a computer-machine. And so. Don’t you know. For. I can’t spell. I don’t even know what grammar is all about. And I really worst-hate the idear that when I’m writing something that something has to technically reside within the confines of the software I’m using. Hence. I haven’t written a thing in Microsoft Word in twenty years. The .doc file format sucks bat-balls. Although I like Apple’s Pages, for the same reason, I don’t use it. Then again. WTF! All ￼worst-writer has ever wanted is to be able to worst-write and, get this, store what I worst-write in a folder on my computer–that is in a file format that isn’t dependent on any particular software. What a crazy thought, eh. Which brings me to… Scrivener.
There was a short stint where I thought Scrivener was the writing app I needed. Heck I even bought it. But you know what? I’ve never written anything in Scrivener that I’ve then published on my blog. Although my novels drifted in and out of Scrivener, I’ve since stopped using it. Everything on my blog is written in one of three apps. Apple’s Notes, TextEdit or iaWriter. Why iaWriter? For $hits & giggles, I guess. The thing is, I could use the Macs Note app to write a novel. Then again. While we’re on the subject of $hits&giggles, I gave Ulysses a test the other day. It’s always been on my radar but I haven’t used it cause of its subscription business model. Subscription business models suck. And guess what? I fiddled with it and immediately deleted it. Reason I dumped it? The same reason I dumped Scrivener–above and beyond the business model. It’s just too complicated. The thing is, with TextEdit, Notes or iaWriter, I don’t care about all the snappy software gimmicks that are supposed to make writing less worst. All I really want is some spell and grammar checking and whatever file/document/text I create I can then open in any other app or in any other operating system. Yeah. That’s the ticket. I don’t want files corrupted by dependencies from an app. Indeed. Worst-writer simply wants his worst-writing to be pure, uncorrupted, and accessible via whatever app or operating system I use. Yeah. That’s the ticket.
Alternative worst-title: iPad Air 5 pseudo-review number 3 or how I might lose my worst-mind
Was so looking forward to iPadOS 16.2 update, dear worst-reader. Reason? As noted here, worst-writer is kinda enamoured with the new iPad Air 5 (M1). In fact. I’m so impressed with this glass slate of tech I’m on the verge of ending my relationship with Macintosh. What is the thing that has made this such a decisive device for worst-moi, you ask. Unlike my trusty MacBook, a laptop a few years back I never thought could be replaced by a tablet, this thing can do just that. Well. It kinda can.
It’s the external monitor support that’s got me. Keep in worst-mind, I already have an external keyboard and mouse, which accompanies my MacBook when in clamshell mode. These two things are (kinda) required when connecting an external monitor to an iPad. Also. I worst-mean. Even though the speed of M1 iPad Air overwhelms—it is literally blazing fast when it comes to loading webpages and puts my 2017 i5 MacBook Air, with the faster 500gb HDD, to shame—its portability and the fact that I’m really coming around to iPadOS, is the real magic. But I’ve already worst-said most of that.
When I received the iPad about three weeks ago it immediately updated to iPad OS 16.1. I quickly learned that I’d have to wait for 16.2 to get the full benefits of what, from the specs indicated, sold me on this device, namely the iPad’s ability to drive a separate monitor. Even though the monitor mirroring it has with 16.1 was totally cool, I checked almost every day for the release of 16.2–because it was/is supposed to support full dual monitor connectivity. And it does. Now. I’ve always used my MacBooks with a separate monitor when at my desk. Which means there are a few things I’m gonna have to get used to with the iPad. That worst-said. I don’t fear the learning curve here. I’m impressed with 16.2’s monitor support and can only wonder at the reason it’s taken Apple so long to do this. This being providing real world applicability to a product that, for worst-writer, I never thought would/could replace Macintosh.
Stop the worst-presses.
Which brings me to the screenshot above. Turns out that Apple doesn’t quite have iPad OS 16.2 under control. Or is there a reason that when driving a separate monitor I cannot use airplay? WTF! Hopefully this is a bug and not a feature. That Apple would include such a warning (pic above) does seem to indicate something more than a bug, though. Or? Ok. Wow. Can you imagine, dear worst-reader, getting all productive and giddy with your new apple product and suddenly when you want to listen to some tunes to hold your mood(s) you get this message? Yeah. WTF–double.
So. Like. This happened the other day. I’m in town approaching the bio-market and out of the blue sirens start going off all around me, even on my phone. At first I startled, thinking it was a bank robbery on account I was at that moment walking past a bank. Then I remembered. Oh yeah! It’s that new fangled wireless emergency alert test. Yea, that’s the ticket. It goes something like this. In Germany they still use those über-loud sirens every once-a-once that is supposed to wake up Das Volk to batten down the hatches, trouble is coming. But now, with these changing times, z’Germans are finally getting their $hit together as those old sirens need replacing. I guess. The new siren, which is supposed to provide a more efficient warning, is based on embedded sim technology known as CellBroadcast. And that’s fine and dandy. It worked on December 8, as promised (see pic above). But here’s worst-writer’s question: How is it that the German government is able to send a message to my phone like this? Obviously the cellular phone network, that all our phones are attached to, is being used for this. But. Again. Fine and dandy. It’s just… How did they get my phone number to send me this message? Ok. Wait. I’m not asking the right questions.
The thing is, dear worst-reader, they don’t need a phone number to send this message. Which says a lot about what this technology is all about. But we’ve known that already, right dear worst-reader? Our digital life is not a one-way street. Or is it a one-way street–just not in the direction we think it is? Wow. And so. Beyond this being kinda invasive, what other surprises await us. You know. What else can the government push our way?
In the ordinary moral universe, the good will do the best they can, the worst will do the worst they can, but if you want to make good people do wicked things, you’ll need religion. -Christopher Hitchens
Alternative worst-title of this worst-post: The troll conundrum.
Been worst-contemplating, dear worst-reader. Or. Like you. Should I just blow it off? You know. Blow off the troll conundrum that some unknown (to me) rap singer is spewing due to his skewed, distorted view of life? I mean. Is this guy trolling someone, something or somehow? Is he trolling Alex Jones? In other worst-words, dear worst-reader, did an African-American male, who is relatively young, it should be noted, go down to the white-man devil‘s liar in Maga-Lard-O, FL, and bring with him a white supremacists cohort, in order to troll former prez pee-pee-hair? WTF is going on with Ye?
Some have said he’s ill, as in: sick in the head. Others say he doesn’t take his medicine, as in: like so many #Americants should–or probably should stop. Or. Maybe. He’s going through a midlife crisis. Actually, I just came up with the midlife crisis thing. #Nomatter. The worst-thing is, the stuff this guy is spewing is pretty much bread & butter #Americant. No. Seriously. Worst-writer is almost sixty. The stuff Ye has been saying the past few weeks I’ve heard all my life. Hitler this, Hitler that. He talks about the invention of Autobahns. I’ve heard (old) Germans talk about, back in the day, how they could leave their bike unlocked, which is referring to how safe their Nazi communities were. Of course. I’m not sure what Ye‘s microphone reference is supposed to be about. You know. Ye thinks Hitler invented the microphone. Seriously? Adolf Hitler, the failed artist and wounded WW1 veteran, inventing a/the microphone? Again. #Nomatter. The stuff he‘s saying, as commonplace as it is, has one major caveat and/or worst-question. When did this kind of talk become common place… outside the white man’s world of greed-galore? Does such a worst-question make me naive? Ok. But. Which brings me back round to the idear that Ye is/might be ill. The thing is. I don‘t think he‘s ill at all. I think this is the reaction of any #Americant male reared among the disease that is being #Americant male–especially in these times of the greed $hitshow that has turned the world upside down, inside out, this or that–all based on the amount of $hit you can buy, consume. Which begs yet another worst-question: how the fcuk does this deplorable-ness get passed on to an African American or, perhaps, should be more concerned with white supremacy?
Could it have anything to do with consuming-to-survive?
Perhaps there‘s another worst-explanation for Kanye West‘s slash Ye‘s behavior. As stated in the quote above, religion makes good people do evil stuff. Even though Ye‘s Hitler mouth vomit isn‘t about religion, isn‘t the new & improved greed $hitshow aka #Americant, not unlike a religion? I mean. The country is awash in conspiracy theory. It’s drowning itself in greed. A huge swath of the population (half?) believes elections, according to one side of the political spectrum, are stolen. Greed is such a huuuuuge part of #Americant life, most know nothing else. Jesus was white–and he was a Christian. If you fold a dollar bill the right way you can decode symbols that reveal the true nature of the Illuminati and how it controls EVERYTHING. Did I mention greed? Oh wait. How bout more conspiracy-theory krapp. Right? Wait. Did I mention chemtrails are what make the greed? #Nomatter.
My worst-point is kinda this. Ye, like so many others in #Americant right now, due mostly to cultural, social and economic mental and behavior issues, as opposed to merit, i.e. the fallacy of meritocracy, which determines success or failure, is in a world of trouble. First. He‘s gone through a terrible divorce, which looks more and more like he was dumped because his wife somehow found out he’s a moron. How do most men deal with being dumped? Second. He owes something like fifty million in back taxes. These are taxes that he may or mayn‘t be able to pay on account he‘s lost so much money recently–due to his inability to shut his mouth and just make music. And third. In order to fit in, I guess, he‘s aligned himself with everything that‘s proven itself to be #Americant. And once you do that, it seems, there‘s no turning back. And so. Like (a) religion, he has no choice but to do evil.
As you may or mayn‘t have noticed, dear worst-reader, worst-writer is an expat. Reason(s) for that is covered through out this worst-blog. In short, worst-writer found a way to jump the greed $hit-ship thereby avoiding a life of minimum wage poverty known as the #Americant dream. That was the end of the 1980s. And so. For more than thirty years I have been living in a foreign country. I speak a foreign language (although not perfectly). I have a foreign driver‘s license, foreign ID card, which doubles as my visa. I have foreign health insurance, a pension plan and a foreign dog named Beckett, the killer pug. My wife is a native of my adopted country and when she was young she protested my beloved & missed United Mistakes of #Americant because of its Cold War policy of stationing short range ICBM nuclear missiles in her country. With all that in worst-mind, after all these years living as an expat in Germany, when asked the question: what‘s your nationality? I always answer: American. Also. After more than thirty years, when asked, why don‘t you become a German citizen? I respond: because Germany won‘t let me. In other worst-words, even though I am technically qualified to become a German citizen, I consider the offer mute due to the fact that German law doesn‘t allow me to do so without giving up my US citizenship. In other worst-words, for me, German law doesn’t allow dual citizenship. That’s not the case for my son who has both German and American citizenship. Now. Let me worst-add this. I still am required, yes, even after more than thirty years, to get a visa to legally live in Germany. That visa has to be renewed every five years. Actually, until the last visa I got, it had to be renewed every two years. I believe, when I get my next visa, it will be for ten years. Or maybe not. For you see, dear worst-reader, the newly elected government, following the infamous Angela Merkel years, is trying to ease Germany‘s strict citizenship laws. Although the law won‘t change my status of being born to a former German citizen, my mother, who has since given up her German citizenship, and is now an American citizen, it will finally recognize my efforts, at the least, to bring some fresh blood into twenty-first century German procreation. Accordingly, if all goes well, this loosening of citizenship laws will allow me to finally have dual German and American citizenship. And so. Will I become a German citizen if the law allows it, without having to give up my US citizenship?
Had to worst-post, dear worst-reader. Found this the other day on the back of a Smart (car) while walking Beckett, the killer pug. FYI. Schwachkopf is wordplay with Schwarzkopf which is a German hair shampoo. The entire image parodies the shampoo brand. Schwachkopf literally translates to weak-minded but IDIOT or dunce is most applicable here. Of course, the silhouette works perfectly.
So. First. For some worst-context, here‘s a rundown of worst-writer‘s tech.
MacBook 12“ (2017), i5/8gb/500gb
iPad Air 5 (2022), M1/64gb
Raspberry Pi 4, 4gb
For the past year or so I‘ve been using my better-half‘s hand-me-down iPad. She has since moved on to an iPad Pro. Although her old iPad sat around unused for a while, it eventually became my go-to device for e-book reading, newz reading/scanning, YouTube and VLC for viewing movies and TV from my home media server. In short, I worst-guess, the iPad has become my main gadget for media consumption. Also. When we‘re traveling in our wunder-van (see pic above), that old iPad quickly replaced me having to take my MacBook which has also lead to me reconsidering my daily-driver computing needs. Of course. The iPad Pro I inherited is over five years old. But that’s not the problem. In fact, it works fine, updates n‘all. No. The big problem is it can‘t go more than an hour without hanging on a charging cable. What good is an iPad if it always has to be plugged in? And so. My better-half surprised me last week with the new M1 iPad Air.
As noted in my previous post, I‘m not a fan of touch screen computing. When others thought that Apple should make MacOS a touchscreen operating system, as was done with Windows, I was in the wings preying it would never happen. With that in worst-mind, once I hooked up a keyboard and sometimes a mouse to the old iPad, I quickly realized that working (worst-writing) on a tablet might not be a bad idear–touchscreen n‘all. And even though my MacBook has the smallest footprint since the MacBook Air 11“, as far as mobility goes, the MacBook can’t compete with the iPad.
Having fiddled and giggled with my new iPad for over a week now… Boy oh boy am I sold on this slate of wunder-glass. In fact, other than it not having a terminal app, or at least one that I‘ve figured out how to get working like the MacOS terminal app, there‘s nothing on this iPad Air that makes me miss my MacBook. Plus. Oh. In case you‘re not in the know. The speed of the M1 CPU in this iPad is amazing. Surprise. Surprise.
As far as my work flow goes, I‘m obviously not a power user. I don‘t do any video work and the photo work I do is minimal, including nothing more than cropping and resizing pictures I take with my iPhone. Other than scanning a document every once-a-once, I don‘t see a need for a camera on an iPad. But I guess it is nice to have just in case. As far as the iOS learning curve is concerned, compared to MacOS, iOS very different indeed. What I thought was cumbersome at first, like various settings or the entirety of a touch screen, I‘m sure I‘ll eventually adjust. Of course, there is the issue of storage since I only have 64gb. I haven‘t yet downloaded anything but I‘m considering trying out Apple Arcade–once I figure out, as a non-gamer, what games I might want to try. I use my iPhone 11 for audio podcasting so I don‘t have to worry about downloaded files cluttering up my iPad. With all that in worst-mind, I don‘t see having the minimum spec as an issue. We‘ll see how that goes.
To protect it I‘m using the ESR magnetic case but am considering getting a keyboard case. The Apple keyboard case is waaaaay to expensive so I’ll probably get one from Logitech. As far as the Apple pen goes, I’ve fiddled with the first gen Apple pen and although I find the pen a better input method than fingers on glass, I don‘t know what else to use it for. I don’t draw and would rather type than transcribe handwriting. My Keychron keyboard works great on it, which means I‘ve finally got three separate bluetooth connections for typing: 1 MacBook (clamshell), 2 iPad, 3 RPi4.
All in all, I‘m impressed with the new iPad Air. Not only does it cost significantly less than a new MacBook, it blows my 2017 MacBook out of the water when it comes to opening webpages or apps. That it could possibly be the device that replaces a Mac in my life is a bit of a surprise but so far not a disappointing surprise. This may mean that I can finally start considering a laptop solely for my Linux needs. Indeed. I‘m seriously considering buying a Framework laptop and going full Linux. Again. We‘ll see.
Alternative worst-title: Pseudo-Review of Severance, the tv show
Disclaimer: I‘m writing this pseudo-review after viewing the first two episodes only. No spoilers. So buckle-up buttercup.
Having recently purchased a new iPad Air 5, I‘m once again on the AppleTV+ rodeo–on account I get the service for three months for free. For. In case, dear worst-reader, you‘re not in the know. I don‘t dig subscription media services. For the most part, when it comes to consuming-to-survive media, I don’t mind paying as I go, which is why I prefer the Apple TV. Also. As with everything Apple, one has to be prudent with expenses just to be able to afford all this krapp, which means I do all I can to avoid paying stupid-money for AppleTV+. And so. Long live corporate monopolies and unregulated capitalism and forced obsoletism, etc. (Sarcasm off.) That said, here‘s a shortlist of what worst-moi and my better-half are currently subscribed to:
As of the fall 2022 we‘re subscribed to the cheapest service rate, which I think is 7,-€; if Netflix pushes ads through this price-point we will be canceling.
Although I started this last summer on subscription I‘ve since changed it to the yearly 100,-€ flat rate, on account there‘s a bit of money to be saved. Still a subscription in my worst-book.
Amazon Prime – JUST CANCELLED
For the last few years we‘ve been subscribed to Prime. After Amazon‘s rate hike announcement I immediately cancelled it. Since we never really dug the movie offering and it‘s cheaper, we moved to Netflix. BTW, Amazon‘s Music service sucks. Will I miss Prime shipping? Now that‘s a good worst-question. I am gonna miss Star Trek Picard though!
With three months of free AppleTV+ there‘s quite a bit to catch up on. I’m looking forward to See, The Morning Show (season 2) and whatever else I missed since 2020, the last time I got this service for free. To start, my better-half and I watched the first two episodes of Severance last night. And get this. After the first few minutes of episode one I knew I was in for something good. With that in mind, to make things short-n-sweet, here the gist of everything I have to say about this show after only two episodes.
Gosh darnit I wish I had written that.
The thing is, dear worst-reader, I wrote a play called The Good Criminal. It was about not only corporate abuse but the willingness of corporate employees to play along with the $hitshow that is corporate #Americant. The way the first episode of Severance begins, with a lone woman laying on a corporate conference room table, being woken up by a conference room speaker, and the subsequent animosity she shows for her corporate situation, fit perfect into worst-writer‘s mindset of corporate Mise en scène. By the end of the second episode my better-half and I agreed that the writer (Dan Erikson) and director (Ben Stiller) have created a masterpiece of duality that spans exactly the same-differences between Orwell and Huxley. Bravo!
For those not in the know, here‘s worst-writer‘s short-take on the same-differences between Orwell vs Huxley. Orwell (1984) writes about coercive and violent authoritarianism. Huxley (Brave New World) is about authoritarian power recognizing there is no need for violence because coercion can be achieved through mental manipulation, which includes drugs, advertising, emotions, etc.
Although surely this tv show will steer in the direction of entertainment as I continue watching it, I‘m particularly interested in how its creators, satirically or not, maintain the same-differences that abound when depicting social and political issues in this worst-world. Will the show take me in the satirical direction of movies like Starship Troopers or Robocop? Or what about Don‘t Look Up, Network or Blazzing Saddles? And there‘s my all-time favorite socially critical film: Heaven‘s Gate. For, dear worst-reader, if you want to see a depiction of the origins of #Americant watch Heaven‘s Gate.
#Nomatter the direction Severance takes, my only hope is it doesn‘t stray with typical Hollywood appeasement. You know. Hollywood can only take social and political issues so far, which, IMHO, is why Heaven‘s Gate was such a colossal failure as it literally took down a movie studio. Then again, today‘s entertainment industry doesn‘t seem to be lacking in funding? Am I wrong. Anywho. As long as Severance remains steadfast and adheres to the premise that corporatism, in all its forms, is no different than fascism, totalitarianism and is in total opposition to human freedom and dignity, I‘ll keep watching it.
Ten year anniversary dinner, dear worst-reader. Also, first time in two and half years (covid) we went out. Köln’s La Société has left me disappointed in the past. High-end catered food, I‘ve said. But not this time. Starting top right > left. Shrimp wraps, jelly wrapped goose liver, wolfsbarsh filet, baby calamari, venison filet and some kind of custard on a bed of sautéed fruit slices. Six course magic.
Took a few years, dear worst-reader. You know. Took a few years before I came round. Round to what, you ask. Well. The biggest reason I never really liked iPads and barely tolerate iPhones is because of one piece of modern tech that bugs the bee-gee-bees out of me: touch screens. Having been swept away long ago with the Macintosh, a magnificent alternative to Windows, this not only makes me old school, it makes me a bit weary when it comes to big (tech) changes. The thing is, I dig keyboards and command line interfaces. And so. The biggest move I’ve made so far with distancing my worst-self from Apple‘s hideous and monopolistic product politics, that began with Macintosh, has been to embrace Linux. And so. I‘m digging ARM based SBCs. As you can see in the pic above, I have been sharing the right half of my work space with a tried & true RPi4 for going on a year, not to mention that all my music and video and file server needs in my little townhouse are fulfilled with other raspberry pi SBCs. But this worst-post ain‘t about my having seen the light. Or is it the dark? #Nomatter. Moving on.
For years now worst-writer has been a perturbed Apple fanboy. Whether dazed and confused about hardware, software or its baked-in product obsoletism, IMHO the company has taken the fun/thrill out of its stuff—other than unboxings, of course. Even though I know how technically powerful Macs and iPads are, there‘s something about what money grubbing monopolists do that just makes things… un-fun. And I have a lot of un-fun, boring Apple stuff, don‘t you know. So. The question for worst-moi for the past few years has been simple. Will my frustration with Apple make me give up on Apple?
Discovering the joys of worst-writing on a slate of glass that glows and talks and plays music/videos and connects to the world may have turned things upside down.
The thing that has sent me over the edge over the past few years is Apple‘s new Silicon. You know. The new CPU/GPU it supposedly developed to replace the burden of having to buy over-priced chips from Intel. I‘m probably a bit naive in making this assumption but hear me out for a worst-sec. Why is it, after developing completely new Silicon and thereby not having to pay Intel‘s monopoly chip prices, are Macs as expensive if not more expensive than ever before? Keep in mind, dear worst-reader, Apple Silicon is based on open-source chip architecture. The development and manufacture of chips is supposed to be a huge part of the cost of chips. Again. Perhaps I‘m not well enough informed but to worst-moi, at the least, anything with Apple Silicon should be substantially cheaper because a big chunk of chip development doesn‘t cost Apple a thing. Then again. We no longer live in times where capitalist innovation could/should benefit consumers. It’s all about the shareholders. Am I wrong. Moving on.
As usual, worst-writer is off subject. This worst-post is supposed to be about reviewing my latest Apple purchase which could have been a new Mac–cause I‘m due for a new one. So. Thank you for indulging me. Again. Moving on.
As mentioned above, I was never an iPad fan. I hate touch screens. But. My better-half has been using iPads for years. I can’t deny the fact that she’s also been very productive with her iPad. This has lead me to look over her shoulder once or thrice which then lead to a few YouTube videos and before I knew it, she hand-me-downed her second generation iPad Pro about a year and a half ago. At first, I only used the iPad to read the newz in the morning with coffee. I then started reading books on it–having long since giving up on Kindle and Amazon. Once I figured out how to browse the #Interwebnets with it I started to find myself casually reaching for it more and more instead of putting my 2017 MacBook (the twelve inch one) on my lap. Long worst-story short. This past summer, as my better-half and I began our vanlife, I became more and more hesitant to camp in remote places with an abundance of expensive tech krapp. I mean. It‘s bad enough that we have our iPhones, iPads, Apple Watch, etc. Even though our van has a lock-n-key safe in it, my MacBook does not fit in that safe. But I‘m rambling. The worst-thing is, the more I used that old, second generation iPad Pro, the more I dug it and only took it on our vanlife trips.
My aging iPad‘s battery has been at its end for a while now. It lasted under constant use for almost five years and that‘s more than I can say for my MacBook or any iPhone. I started to complain that I had to plug it in every hour after any significant use. Complaining enough meant that my better-half was also getting bored (of my complaining). Surprise. Surprise. She bought the new iPad Air 5th gen with the caveat it‘s my early Xmas present. Tickled to death as I waited for it to be delivered, and after informing her about all the research I’d done about which iPad I wanted, I made a plan to turn it into my daily driver. Yeah. Since last summer (2022) I am digging the iPad, touch screen n‘all. Who‘d a thunk it!
Will this new iPad Air replace my aging 2017 12“ MacBook? I mean. I had the MacBook battery replaced last summer. Because it has i5 processor and a 500GB HD, it‘s also, unlike the i3 MacBooks, still quite useful. In fact, unlike the i3 MacBook, mine runs MacOS Ventura. But that‘s all neither here nor there. The thing that blows my mind with my new iPad Air is how much faster it is at opening apps, browsing the #Interwebnets and multitasking. Of course, the question remains, as my daily driver, as I have to rely on it for all my computing needs, will the Air deliver? We‘ll worst-see. This worst-test is ongoing.
So. The question now is: what in worst-writer‘s computing world will replace my Mac laptop? Keep in worst-mind, dear worst-reader, I didn‘t say, by potentially giving up Macintosh for an iPad (iOS) that I‘m also giving up on using a laptop. I don‘t think that‘s the case. What I‘m really doing is searching for a path to reduce my dependency on Apple. That worst-said. If things go as planned, I may finally replace Macintosh for iOS for all my ecosystem needs but for my other computing needs, it‘s Linux all the way.
Fascism, Capitalism, Authoritarianism and, of course, (insert your) religion-ism here, but not necessarily in that order. On the other hand, how is it that all these isms are alive and perky these days? Alive and perky like that little girl in spring who you think is running across a field of joy with her hair waving in the wind when in reality she is running away from yet another sexually repressed #Americant (white, conservative) male doing what he and all the rest do so well to the daughters, sisters, mothers, wives–and sons–of the HOMELAND. Or maybe not.
This is the worst-issue of the morning, dear worst-reader. What motivates this use of a suffix that turns an idear into a/the grand narrative? Well. Don’t you know. It may or mayn’t have something to do with the recent midterm elections in my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant. The midterm elections combined with a pop-star that can’t hold his tongue or his mind and thereby speaking the naughty stuff out-loud… Or have you missed the uproar that is THE FREEDOM TO BE STUPID that has always been #Americant right-wing bat$hittery? Indeed. A nation of the aggrieved all of whom have really, really big mouths. What a $hitshow. They can‘t seem to stop spewing all the nastiness of their most inner and cherished voices–as they just don‘t care who is listening. Or have you heard other voices since former prez mango Mussolini somehow got elected? Yeah. Right.
There are no good people on both sides but there are really, really bad people on one side. -worstwriter
Where lies the confusion, dear worst-reader? You know. The confusion that is the misunderstanding of isms? Does this confusion stem out of a lack of intellectual curiosity? Is it the result of national dumbing down? Too much TV and media and porn and computer games? Too much sexual repression?
One of the reasons worst-writer has not posted anything in recent weeks is because of the turmoil spewing round in my worst-mind. It is a turmoil storm, don‘t you know. Perhaps not as wild and willing as all those hurricanes reeking havoc on the shores of the second worst-state in the scam that is Florida, aligned just behind the leader of all State scams: Tex-ass. But let me not get too far off worst-subject. For the storm (of my worst-mind) is mostly due to the fact that, as a unwilling expat, there is very little worst-writer can do to lend a helping hand. I mean. I committed to jumping that ship going on forty years ago. Although I do vote in most elections, never before have I felt, now more than ever, with the advent if #Trumpism, it’s not votes that are gonna change anything. No. What is going to change things is more of the same–even if that same includes former prez pee-pee-hair. For. In case you are not in the know. Worst-writer thinks that most Dems, especially the powerful ones, have been enjoying the past few years. Or do you not at least slow down to gawk at the blood ridden scene of a horrific train wreck? You know. That thing in life that connects us all–even with the rich and powerful.
Of all the things that lead worst-writer to being an expat, suburban-hell racism and anti-Semitism are high on the list. Whether it was the N-word or the J-word, by the time I was a young adult and started experiencing the world, it made little sense to me how so many people back home willingly allowed themselves to get caught up in a spiral of hate. Then again, all that conspiracy-theory krapp fits perfectly into the #Americant world of hate and bigotry and spite and aggrievement. Most #Americants simply do not have anything better to do with their lives. Am I wrong.
Although worst-writer is somewhat pleased with the recent midterm election, I am certainly not as pleased as others. Losing the House is still gonna be part of the train wreck drawing so many interested viewers. Take, for example, how New York has turned kinda red. How can this be? Oh wait. Anyone remember Cuomo? Do you think he was gonna leave the scene of his personal train wreck with dignity? Yeah. Now that’s the ticket. Or do you believe New York lost so many House seats to Repubs because New Yorkers are suddenly bat$hit for former prez Cheeto jeezus? No. Not a chance. These losses are payback from Cuomo. But what the hell do I know about gawking at train wrecks?
She died a few months before I was born. It took till the late 70s before I saw one of her movies–on a black & white TV. As the 80s came and went and worst-writer started taking down all those pin-up posters of scantly clad #Americant womanhood from my boyhood room, which may or mayn’t be because of Monroe’s iconic pin-up status that started with the first Playboy magazine cover, Monroe wasn’t all that titillating anymore. For one thing, she was long dead. For another thing, her sex-symbol image had been surpassed, if not suppressed by the likes of Farrah Fawcett, Cheryl Ladd, etc. For worst-moi, the myth of Marilyn Monroe started (at best) in the mid 80s when Madonna usurped her iconic platinum blonde bombshell image in the music video Material Girl. Does that mean Madonna should be accredited with the revival of Marilyn Monroe and all-things platinum blonde? Sure. Why not. What else could have revived her?
The thing is, dear worst-reader, I watched Blonde the other night on Netflix. And I can’t get it out of my head. My better-half quit the movie after the first rape scene, which is at about twenty minutes. She says she’s never gonna watch it. Although the scene made me stand up and turn away from the screen, I found my bearings a few minutes later due to Ana de Armas. In fact, she’s the only reason I stayed in the almost three hour $hitshow of peeling the onion that is/was nineteen fifties Hollywood, even though some of the scenes with Adrian Brody as Arthur Miller were pretty good. The thing is. This movie is Ana de Armas. She’s f’n amazing and that says a lot considering I’ve never been a Marilyn Monroe fan.
What a meat grinder Hollywood must have been (still is). Is there a better example of how the meat grinder started other than Marilyn Monroe? Which makes worst-writer wonder: is this movie about the world as a grinder of human meat embodied in beauty and abuse? Whether it’s the first rape scene, the second or third, the drugs or the blowjob she gives JFK, after which he rapes her…. Holly krapp, dear worst-reader. What the hell is this film about? Even though de Armas is brilliant, this film isn’t about Marilyn Monroe. Which brings worst-writer to other worst-thoughts.
Having grown up in the suburban hell madness that is #Americant, where everything is a commodity–especially all-things love and sex–it’s no wonder that so many depend on conspiracy theory to deal with (their) circumstance(s). If a list could be made of conspiracy theories from beginning to end that determined where my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant would be today (post former prez pee-pee-hair), high on that list would have to be the affair between Monroe and JFK. I’ve never believed it. And the only reason so many prude, sexually repressed #Americants believe it is because of the pure, unadulterated sex Monroe exudes while singing happy birthday that one night to the soon to be dead president. She was hated for that. She was hated for her sexuality. For she was the first to be raw with it–don’t you know. People forget that. There is a whole swath of #Americant that couldn’t stand her because she took sex and sexy to new heights–and she did it all without crossing the lines of explicit sex. Also. Let’s not forget. It was an insult to those who thought JFK and his wife could be #Americants first chance at a new fangled form of royalty. Any idear, dear worst-reader, how many #Americants hate (are confused by) royalty as much as they hate (are confused by) sex? We all know what happened to the Kennedys. Or?
This movie has reawakened worst-moi to the myth of Marilyn Monroe. I’m considering reading the book it is loosely based on. But don’t hold your breath for that worst-review. Like this film, the book is a work of fiction. Fiction means, first and foremost, its makers make it up. They pull $hit out of thin air. The do it because, well, it’s sellable. Make money. Then again. I’m not sure reviving Monroe in worst-writer’s brain is a good thing. And I kinda mean that in a positive way. For. Dear worst-reader. I always preferred Jane Mansfield (as a brunette not as a blonde). Or what about Jane Russell? But worst-writer’s ultimate pin-up is and will always be Raquel Welch. And at eighty she’s still worth a look! But now. In this world of FREEDOM TO BE STUPID, was Marilyn Monroe the first to open the flood gates of a world full of ditzy blondes? Bimbos? Chicks selling IT! Indeed. She was/is a girl who found a way to make a living by churning the loins of sexually repressed movie goers, male or female? Bless her and bless all sex-symbol hearts. Just don’t forget the part where educating people enough so they can tell the difference between conspiracy theory and, well, a really nice girl just trying to make a living… Blah, blah, blah.
This film has given worst-moi a chance to appreciate Marilyn Monroe from another perspective. In a world where it’s taken till now to bring down at least some of the abusers and gatekeepers, aka Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Eppstein, Bill Cosby, this film should be heeded and seen by all. It’s that good at portraying the pain of the female. The eternal and unnecessary pain.
The trip started, as they all must, in D’dorf. Weather forecast for the trip indicated some rain but for the next ten days we were expecting Indian summer weather from Italy to Bavaria. Indian summer we got.
Our trip began in the early afternoon on a Thursday. Since we prefer to drive in daylight, we were able to put in about five hundred kilometres before nightfall. We spent the night at one of Germany’s, what looks like, a makeshift camp site in the town of Gutenau, Baden Württemberg. These campsites are for those on the road who need a quick overnight stay, with out camping luxury. These no-frills spots are usually available near Autobahns or small towns. There are no bathroom facilities, no electricity and no reception. You park, pay, and you’re on your own. I’ll go ahead and worst-assume these things have sprung up over the years due to campsite supply and demand, all of which have been exasperated by a Covid camping boom here in #Eurowasteland. And so. People who own a bit of land to spare, like farmers, simply cordon-off an area of their property and make it available to vans and mobile homes for the quick overnighter. I think we paid nine Euros for the night.
The next morning we continued to Italy, crossing Switzerland. We made it to our destination just before noon. And what a destination! If you ever have the chance to camp on the side of a mountain, literally parked on a terrace cutout of that mountain, with the most spectacular view of Lake Maggiore, I highly recommended it. We weren’t sure how long we were gonna stay but the view turned out to be worth four nights. A small harbour town was a quick, albeit strenuous (very steep mountain roads) e-bike ride away where we were able to enjoy all-things Italian.
A few worst-thoughts on mountain side, terrace-view camping–as the pic above doesn’t do it much justice. We stayed in the municipality of Oggebio, which is in Piedmont, Italy. According to locals, the town built the campsite for self-promotion. The site is managed by a mother son team of proprietors.
Upon entering Lake Maggiore you cross from Switzerland to Italy. You then drive about twenty kilometres on a windy, narrow highway that circles the entirety of Lake Maggiore. When you got to Oggebio you leave the mini, chaotic highway (full of chaotic Italians battling with German, Swiss, Austrian, etc. motorhomes) and drive up a very thin (one car) steep incline to the campsite. The site is first-come, first-serve. If it’s full you can park outside in a small parking lot where you can wait for an available spot. Luckily we arrived early and there were a few open spaces. During our four days there, though, we were approached by several people asking how long we planned to stay. The small parking lot just outside the campsite was always full of campers waiting for a spot. Btw, no trailer campers allowed or tents. The facility does have two small bathrooms with showers and some sinks for dishwashing. It also has electricity and fresh water at each spot. It’s not a campsite for anything long term. But then there’s the view.
Each of the twelve camping spots in Oggebio is big enough for a small motor home or, as in our case, the VW Wundervan. The spots are narrow which means most of the motor homes couldn’t extend their awnings and larger motor homes can’t turn around when exiting. Needless to say there were a few struggling drivers backing their vehicles out of the site. There are two rows for campers. The front row is the one with THE VIEW. That doesn’t mean the back row was out of luck, though. Each of these camping spots has its own terrace. The back row has a terrace above the spot behind their parked camper. The front row has it in front and below the camper. Each terrace is beautifully walled with mountain stone bricks and wood fencing. The only blemish here is the ugly and steep ladder stairs to access the terraces. We were on the front row (facing the lake) and we never used the lower terrace. Who ever designed this place did it with gusto. Unfortunately there was no way to take a decent picture of the campsite because you can’t see it from anywhere as it’s hidden by vegetation from below or the town of Oggebia from the top. Nonetheless it looks like it was carved out of the lower quarter of the Oggebio mountain side. That means a walk up to the little town centre is gonna test your cardio. With that in mind, we used our e-bikes for a bit of sight-seeing but I would think twice about returning there with bikes. Oggebbio is ALL about the view of Lake Maggiore.
This whole trip was planned around my better-half going to Greece for a few days for work. The idear was to do a long weekend in Italy together and then drive her to Munich where she’d catch a flight to Athens. After I dropped her off I spent three nights with Beckett, the killer pug, on Schliersee, Bavaria, about an hour south of Munich, just before Austria. Although nothing like Lake Maggiore, this place has its own magic. I was surrounded by luscious green forests, high hills (pre-Alps Bavaria???) and was parked in front of the cutest little lake. The thing about this campsite isn’t just the view and all-things Bavarian though. When I checked-in the receptionist ask me if I was gonna stay through the weekend. When I inquired why he was asking, for he new my reservation was for Wednesday to Friday, he pointed out the window at my van and said that there is a Bulli1 meet-up this weekend. Oh, I thought. That motivates. When he said that there were a few spots available and he’d gladly reserve one for me, I immediately texted my better-half in Athens. And so. Looks like I’m gonna drive to Munich airport on Friday, pick up my better-half, and we’re gonna spend the weekend at our first Bulli-treff in Bavaria before heading home. We’ll see if that’s worth a worst-post.
One last thought. Since May I’ve become a van man. Seriously. Never in my life did I think I’d be into van-life. Of course, as this is a life-style choice above and beyond vehicular mobility, I’d associate it more with vehicular utility. Our van is not only our only vehicle but it’s also a traveling home. But before I get deep into splitting worst-writer hairs and ill-defining my life of leisure, let me just worst-add that I don’t need a car anymore. Now. That’s not saying that we shouldn’t have a vehicle–or in this case a van. The thing is, having purchased and now experienced a mini mobile home I feel as though I’ve subverted the entire debate about saving the world and getting a car out of my life. And don’t worry my friendly tree-huggers. If I could I would have bought an all-electric van. But that’s not gonna be on the cards for quite a while.
And with that in worst-mind, you know what’s been creeping into my brain ever since this van life started? Remember that movie Nomadland? Yeah. I do. Here’s a worst-thought or three on it. As much as I enjoy driving around #Eurowasteland and not having to depend on hotels or flights or rental cars, I’m wondering, when it all comes to an end–due to Putin’s nonsense, nuclear war in #Eurowasteland, Capitalists culling humanity of useless eaters (like worst-writer)… Oh wait. Capitalists have already done that. #Nomatter. My creeping thought is worst-thus: will I also end up like Fern (Frances McDormand) in Nomadland? Have I now sealed my fate as a downtrodden, marginalised, discarded serf? Is this new life choice my last as I approach retirement age? If so… Oh well. At least I won’t have to $hit in a bucket like Fern did.
Rant and van on, baby.
”Bulli” is German colloquial for VW’s line of Vans ↩︎
Extremism is the political cost of pronounced social inequality and political stagnation. -Chris Hedges, see link below
We’ve been there before, eh, dear worst-reader? Here and here a few worst-thoughts about trying to figure out Fascism. With recent elections in Italy, with the dire-straights Putin has caused with his “special operations“ in Ukraine, and as #Trumpism continues to digest in the open bowels of my beloved & missed #Americant, worst-writer may have come up with a new idear on how to define the grand ideology that is over taking the world–once again–thereby confusing the gullible and uninformed many.
Who’s your daddy, Bitch!
Obviously the election of Italy’s first female PM is to be celebrated. So let’s have one glamorous clap and bow for her. For if you’re not in the know, dear worst-reader, the clapping and the bowing must stop abruptly. Reason? When one looks under the peaking peak of this #Eurowasteland iceberg of $hit, the issue of subservience that is fascism weighs and floats über-heavy. Which begs the worst-question: is she really the afterbirth of Il Duce? Worst-writer supposes… time will tell.
So what is Fascism? Worst-writer’s newest definition of Fascism stems mostly out of what Putin is doing to Ukraine–but it also relates to what just happened in Italy. With that in worst-mind, one cannot disregard who/what Italy just elected to run its $hitshow. Again. The open digestive track that is post #Trumpism#Americant reeks.
Mussolini is accredited with being the first leader to employ Fascism as a form of governance. Keep in mind, dear worst-reader, Fascism is and will always be the only solution to what right wing extremists fear most. What they fear most is The State controlling what they perceived to be THEIR wealth. This is how the poor, the down-trodden, the confused middle-classes are so easily wound-up with conspiracy theories, the hate of migrants, racism, etc. It’s the delusion of trickle-down wealth, working your way to success, the lie of a good life. It folds and comforts the mindless masses and opium derived ideologies. Mussolini and his capitalists enablers latched on to the hate and bigotry and thereby offered a counter-offensive to the rise of Marxist communism that was overwhelming #Eurowasteland at the end of the nineteenth and beginning of the twentieth century. Capitalists and their heirs never forgot (even to this day) the beheading and culling of hereditary privilege that was/is monarchs and/or inherited wealth since the French Revolution. Btw, inherited wealth and privilege is the foundation upon which overt political power exists. That’s why Fascism, together with Authoritarianism, ALWAYS includes violence. It runs the $hitshow with a heavy hammer, baby.
Remember who/what Putin is fighting? That’s right. According to Putin the Russians are fighting against Ukrainian Fascists. And how does Putin/Russia define Fascists? Here one has to look at the various forms of Authoritarianism around the world. Or. One has to look at what maintains, props-up, enables Authoritarianism. Of the various forms of power that rule countries and peoples, whether it’s communism (China), social market economics (Western Europe), or dictatorships (Russia, North Korea) they all rely on one simple thing when it comes to maintaining power. Surprisingly that one thing is not inherent violence. Instead. That one thing is the money.
It’s nothing new that power begets wealth and wealth begets… you get the worst-picture. The thing to keep in mind when trying to worst-understand Fascism is the who and the what the money is subservient to. And that’s the worst-ticket, dear worst-reader: Subservience. Putin’s anger toward Ukraine isn’t so much about NATO expansion or even Russian speaking people in Ukraine. It is about Ukraine’s ability to do what it wants with its own wealth within its own borders. Hence, when Russia wants/needs to export energy via ship or pipeline, the ONLY way it can export it, it HAS to go through Ukraine. Ukraine has every right to negotiate terms and conditions for those transactions. Hence, hence, Crimea was the first to be annexed because Ukraine refused to take a subservient role to Russia as it tried to dictate terms of its oil exports. Perhaps this is where the lines begin to cross when defining all forms of Authoritarianism. Take for example China. China has taken big steps in exercising its Authoritarianism since the 2008 crash which has put the world in a perpetual state of economic discombobulation. Isn’t Jack Ma an example of how the Chinese government forces (wealth) subservience?
Of course, if you’re asking: how bout #Americant in this worst-definition (equation) of Fascism (Authoritarianism)? Yeah, that’s a great worst-question. Worst-writer’s answer? Simple. #Americant has built its Fascism around the idear that The State is subservient to wealth. The difference to Russia or China here is a fine line, IMHO, because Putin has personally profited from his hate of Fascism. That is: Putin controls the wealth. In worst-fact, the realpolitic of Authoritarianism is universal. The only question that remains is: who’s your daddy?
#Americant capitalists are given a chance to pay their share to politicians who in turn maintain capitalist profits. This may or mayn’t be a contradiction–to maintaining both wealth and power of a nation-state and/or calling it Fascist. Unlike China or Russia, #Americant has a kind of symbiosis between the rich and the poor, the powerful and the powerless, the HAVES and HAVENOTS, etc. This may or mayn’t be known as the grand delusion of the middle class(es) and that symbiosis is currently being tried & tested like never before. Compared to others, though, #Americant is still quite functional–with or without the likes of former prez pee-pee-hair–including his masses of delusional nitwits who couldn’t define Fascism if it came up from behind and tickled their genitals with the tongue of a porn star whispering the word Antifa.
Indeed. #Americant has not only won the Cold War of idears but it’s also able to hide the truths of subservience. Considering how the world has been slow in responding to this ill, and as blatant Fascism arises once again in Italy, maybe things aren’t all that bad. Wait. What? Did worst-writer just worst-write something optimistic? Well. Don’t get your panties in a bundle, dear worst-reader. Remember. I just like typing–especially when most of what I worst-type probably doesn’t make much sense. And so. Are you as excited as I am for my next definition of Fascism?
Well, there you have it, dear worst-reader. The best example there is of hereditary privilege, the belief in mysticism and the need for meaninglessness run amok has (finally) died. And now? Oh wait. Long live the… the King? Yea. There’s that.
It’s 2022. Monarchies still exist. Why? Oh wait. Why did so many #Americants vote for mango Mussolini? Wait. Whaaaaaaaa?
“You mean,” dear worst-writer, “that the British royal family has anything to do with former prez Cheeto-jeezus?”
Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying, dear worst-reader. For you see, when there’s is so much STUPID in the world, it is inevitable that (the belief in) magic and un-reality (fake newz) rule the day. The will of the STUPID, don’t you know. Or did you think there was NOTHING underneath The Orange One’s pee-pee-hair? I mean, doesn’t he have dreams of royalty underneath his fake (transplanted) hair? These privileged people and their want of power… How does humanity maintain such a blemish on its existence? Yea. That’s the ticket. But let’s move on.
Obviously worst-writer has a worst-thing or three to worst-say about monarchies. I’m also sorry that the old lady had to die. Then again. Are you looking forward to what Engaland replaces her with? Yeah, can’t wait to see how that turns out.
Sub-worst-title: Thoughts on Apple’s Sept, 2022 event.
First, dear worst-reader, the title of this worst-post is from the song Silent All These Years by Tori Amos. If, btw, you want to melt worst-writer, put me near Madame Amos. I would jump off mountains for her, bring down aeroplanes full of conservative idiots for her, crush Republican man-children for her, thereby squishing their innards between my toes, laughing and giggling through my nose, all the while listening to the thunder of one of the greatest rock music composers ever–that just happens to also be the epitome of the human female, female and more female. But on that note I should die-gress for my loins churn me to unrest.
Since I’m on the subject of menstruation and technology and my love and respect for females, something extraordinary caught my eye and ears yesterday while watching Apple’s marketing circus, especially the part about the new Apple Watch. Or am I over worst doing it when I say that I couldn’t help but think of the politics of my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant as Apple presented its newest incarnation of a time machine that can also track a woman’s cycle? The video link above, by-the-buy, is time-stamped for the presentation, which starts at about the nine minute mark. And what a presentation it is IMHO.
The thing is, dear worst-reader–and fellow lovers of all-things feminist–I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Apple might be taking a political swipe with this presentation about its wunder-watch capabilities. Well. Political as much as profits go, don’t you know. Specifically. Apple is using this five minute presentation, certainly seen by millions of people, to explain how a watch tracks a woman’s cycle. Now. That’s great. Technology is fun. But. And I may be worst over doing it here. For what do I know about ovulation? Indeed. Using a female doctor to explain all this, she also uses words like privacy and women’s health numerous times. Important words in selling a gadget? Again. Indeed. What do I know about this stuff? Then again… For those not in the know, allow worst-writer to recap one of the pillars of the political krapp-show that is #Americant:
What one should never forget about this landmark decision dating back to 1973 is that it’s not entirely about abortion. It is, in fact, about privacy. Hence the recent overturning of Roe is at the same time an attack on what should be an inalienable human right, with or without a Constitution. That misconstrued man-children, including their delusional if not abused sister-wives (what other kind of female would marry these extreme conservative men), think they have the high-ground on the morality of abortion is only further proof of what’s ahead for my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant–unless it can get itself out of the (political) $hithole it’s dug itself in with the likes of the GOP, republicans and so-called centrists. But let’s not get too far off subject here.
During the watch presentation I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Apple was taking a swipe at the current political situation #Americant has gotten itself into by voting for republicans and conservatives for the past fifty friggin years. Does that mean that a watch will help women in need? Of course not. Is there a ten year old rape victim in need of an abortion that can afford one of these watches? But. Again. I die-gress.
Other than privacy, the other issue of misconstrued #Americant politics regarding inalienable human rights that only apply to females is that all-things women’s health should NEVER be questioned by the state. It’s none of the State’s business. It is, in fact, nobody’s business except for the woman. Apple seems to know this. But until that inalienable right is given the freedom she deserves, worst-writer can only hope that an ingloriously profitable corporation making gadgets no one needs, but are still kinda fun, is at least taking one small stance on what is the right thing to do or say.
And so. Apple has a new watch gadget that tracks a woman’s cycle and they want people to know that privacy and health is a priority. I love how they go about explaining that. In times like these, I’m still dreaming about the one that got away and in that same dream she’s singing to me Silent All These Years by Tori Amos.
Grew up listening to his dad. Even took apart and old, cheap e-guitar, painted it with spray paint in red and white stripes, eventually never learned to play it, but the memory is good enough. And that pure, American rock sound of VH… Love it. Miss it. And now. This morning I learned that Wolfgang has an album. And what a fcukin album it is. Looks like I got something to listen to for hours to come.
Big changes, dear worst-reader. Hence lack of summer worst-posts. The deal? Well, it goes something like this. My better-half and I have been battling with the idear of mobility in our lives for the last ten or so years. We bagged the two car household about six years ago. Subsequently we went full-on ebike w/ the funds from the reduction. The only time we need a vehicle is with really bad weather (and I mean really bad weather) or the occasional road trip. For the last few years we’ve been seriously considering getting an electric car. Driving range of todays cars is more than adequate for our needs. The big hurdle with the e-car, though, for us, is the charging. Reason? Since we are renters (of a really cool little townhouse) we would have to rely on the property management company to deliver at least part of the charging capability. They made it clear that the cost of rigging the property (with a half decent charging connection) would fall 100% on us. There are two other electric cars in our parking garage and neither of them charge their vehicles there. The expense has something to do with the property’s electric grid, which has to be altered to provide electric car charging. So they ingloriously claim. ;-(
As winter was winding down this year, the wife asked me for the umpteenth time, especially considering that Covid had made it extra popular, if we could rent a mobile camper and do the camping thing. She was getting desperate for a vacation. I told her, as I always have, I’m not ready to join the Spießer (petty bourgeois) camping community. My Spießer comment didn’t go over well. It was then I tried to add a vacation solution. So I performed some husbandry…
Come on, baby. Let’s wait another half year. Covid ain’t gonna last forever. Don’t look at me like that, baby. Listen. How bout this. We haven’t been on a decent vacation in what? Two years? I know. It’s tough. But. That means we got plenty of funds for a nice stay in Bali or Thailand or maybe South Africa. What do you think, baby? Come on. Don’t make me hang around all them old people and their smelly, gritty campsites.
She wouldn’t let it go. She always wanted to go camping—so she claimed with those… eyes. Really, I thought to myself. I never got that impression before that she was a Spießer—I mean camping fan. Are there other surprises awaiting this—going on twenty year—relationship? Oh my.
Long worst-post-short. During some after dinner marital discourse with her filling my wine glass more than usual, I told her about the time I spent a weekend in a T1 VW camping bus just outside of San Diego, CA. It must have been thirty or more years ago. What a blast that was, eh. Of course. I left out the part about the the beautiful Danish chick I was with who turned out to be a ravenous succubus who wouldn’t leave it alone even when I was trying to sleep or get out of Nordic-driven commitment hell… But enough of worst-writer’s search for (the meaning of) love.
A few days after our nice evening of marital discourse—and I having nightmares of too many succubus experiences—she came home with a brochure from a camper rental company. On the cover of the brochure was a new VW Camper, dressed in full glory camping kit, with cute little stickers all over it that reminded one, with any imagination, of the hippy bus of yore. Between some great marital discourse and the cool-factor of VW still making this Bulli after fifty friggin years… yea. She won.
We spent three weeks in the rental Bulli driving and camping along the Baltic coast and had a blast. Not only that, this frickin VW drives like a dream. It reminds of an early 80s Cadillac that I drove back in the day. Ever driven a Cadillac, dear worst-reader? They’re dream-boats, baby. But the real magic of this vehicle, ultimately, is the fact that it’s just a car. Sure. It’s a big car. It can sleep four. It has a sink with running water, a two-burner gas stove and a fridge. Heck, it even has a shower in the rear. Toilet? We had to buy that extra and it’s small enough to fit under the sink. All that and its height is what makes it not quite a car. And it still fits in our garage. And when the time comes it’ll also fit through all those little towns and villages that we’re gonna visit in France, Spain, Italy or Greece.
In worst-closing. We were so enamored with this Wunder-Wagen that after fulfilling the wife’s camper dream we immediately started looking around to buy one. To hell with ideological worst-wishes of environmentally friendly e-cars—give or take the few caveats regarding how environmentally friendly they really are. Instead. Our quest to be car-less has become a discovery of utility. Leisure utility, baby. As worst-luck would have it, even though orders for this thing are backed up for up to eighteen months, we found a dealer that had this one in “pure grey” that he was using as his dealer car. Although it was used for test drives, it was mostly driven by employees.
Our Bulli is a 2022 model, front wheel drive, 150hp and gadgets and do-dads till the cows come running. The pop-up roof is electric and the upper bed is one of the best I’ve ever slept on. The mattress has these funky rubber plates that work like springs. Even though you can feel the plates through the relatively thin mattress, it feels like you’re sleeping on a thousand baby hands. We had to wait six weeks —after committing by contract to purchase it—for delivery. And get this. We also had to sign a whole bunch of contract amendments because we are, technically, buying a used commercial vehicle. The thing that stressed me the most was the fact, when we test drove it, it had just over eleven thousand kilometers. We had to sign—and pay for it—and allow the dealer to put up to 5000 more kilometers on it. WTF!
When we finally did take delivery and the salesman could see the stress from the veins popping out of my bald angry forehead, he showed me, of the six weeks we had to wait, it was only driven for three where they put a thousand kilometers on it and not five thousand. The other three weeks were due to the delays in Covid having pretty much brought German car registration bureaucracy to a stand still. My blood pressure began to subside and I managed to get on my knees and thank Germany, VW, and the universe for allowing me make such a purchase. Slap. Thank you mother, may I have another.
Pseudo-Review of the T6 California Edition VW Bulli
Well. There you have it, dear worst-reader. I finally did it. Although it’s not a notch on (my) bucket list (on account I don’t have the privilege and inner-banality of a bucket list), I finally took the plunge and cruised around in a (modern) hippie van souped-up as a modern day Glamper. And what a Glamper it is. With that in worst-mind, let’s have a quick review of the VW Bulli T6.
First. My better-half and I spent three weeks driving around the German, Polish and Danish baltic coast starting with a short stint in Berlin and then to upper Usedom. From there we went to Rügen, Rømø and ended it all in Sylt where I ate some of the best oysters ever. Our camp grounds of choice were either on the Baltic Sea or any of the various and vast lakes in north eastern Germany. Accompanied by our trusty e-bikes, we would setup camp with the van and sight-see on two wheels, including, by-the-buy, Beckett the killer pug in a basket. The thing is, dear worst-reader, this VW wunder-van is one cool piece of kit–and Beckett the killer pug, at fourteen, didn’t seem to mind hanging out with us. The worst-thing, though, I’m sure, is that we didn’t get to use half of what the VW Bulli is capable of. Reason for that requires a bit of nit-picking.
It took us three to four nights to figure out the Bullies tech. For example. This vehicle/camper comes with an onboard diesel heater. It has a burner/heater underneath the cabin that siphons diesel from the vehicles tank. After the third night, when it got cold, we screwed something up with the onboard computer that controls the heater. We spent a night in six degrees celsius without heat. Thank goodness for German down covers and a lot of body heat, including whatever Beckett the killer pug could spare. The next morning customer service from the van rental company talked me through an onboard computer reset that required pulling a fuse underneath the driver’s seat. The reset worked. Which is a good thing cause we needed it as we received no favour from the weather for the rest of the trip.
The other issue was the propane tank and the twin stove burners that are part of the onboard kitchen that is included with this model of camping Bulli. There was a serious leak in the gas line which meant our gas bottle was empty after the first three nights–and I assure, dear worst-reader, we smelled it the whole time. Although it was easy replacing the propane bottle, there was nothing customer service could do for us regarding the leak–other than recommending we buy a separate camping burner so that would could cook our tea in the morning. After a bit of convincing (my better-half who was afraid of the obscene smell of propane) I resorted to opening and closing the propane bottle as we used the stove. An inconvenience but we got used to it–and nothing exploded.
Although the van is only two years old and has about twenty-thousand kilometres on it, it has probably gotten quite a bit of use. Camping–or as I’ve learned: Glamping–has surged during the pandemic for Germans. Considering the trickery of this vehicle, I’m wondering how many others have had issues with it and have dealt with those issues￼ without respecting the extremely limited tolerances of how this thing is put together￼.￼
Another problem￼ was the pop-up roof, which is where we slept the whole time on account it was just too cool to resist￼. As mentioned, we didn’t have a lot of luck with the North German weather. At times both wind and rain was brutal. This may or may not have caused the pop-up roof to not lock in place and the surrounding (roof) tent would sag. We had to lower and then raise the roof a few times so that it would re-lock. When not locked (or sagging) the lights in the cabin wouldn’t work, the board computer kept giving us weird warnings, all of which was especially problematic at night as the sides and front of the roof would flap around like a loose tent thereby scaring Dorothy in her quest for the Wizard of (my) Oz￼.
The last nit-pick I’ll mention has more to do with worst-moi than the vehicle. Although we rented a porti-potti I was hellbent on NOT pissing in a bucket, don’t you know. Since I grew up in poor suburban-hell #Americant I’ve had about enough of pissing in buckets. But that’s neither here nor there, eh, dear worst-reader. The most important thing about Glamping in an imaginary hippie vehicle is whether or not you can do it without an onboard toilet. Since we only stayed in camping parks, toilet access was no problem when climbing around the rooftop bed or walking in the middle of a cold night to the camping facilities.
It was a fight, don’t you know, dear worst-reader. My better-half wanted to go Glamping and I wanted room service with a short layover in Bangkok. Well. We know who won. The only concession I earned from the vacation fight was that we wouldn’t rent one of those uncool (spiesig) mobile home truck/camper/things–onboard toilet be damned! For worst-moi it was the VW camper–and dreams of hippies–or nothing. But get this, dear worst-reader. My better-half is so impressed with this vehicle after three weeks of first-world Glamping struggle, she asked a number of times if we should buy one. WTF? To make things worse, I didn’t immediately discard the question. The thing is, dear worst-reader, we are at the point in our lives where we don’t need a car. That is to worst-say, we need a car sometimes–like for extreme weather shopping and errands–but otherwise why not replace the car with a modern hippie van where we could take off every other weekend, getting more use out of four wheels, and if we need to do some shopping or run some errands we can easily do it with this van￼. That’s the trick with this vehicle, dear worst-reader. You can either camp in it or if you want to see parts of the inner city of a small town (or go shopping) in God knows where Europe you can park this thing anywhere a car can park.￼ Which we did a number of times.
We drove for three weeks well over two thousand kilometres. The VW bus cruises on the Autobahn and back roads with ease and comfort–including DDR backroads. It has plenty of storage space, two beds, swivel driver and passenger seats and a heater that heats the cabin with ease–even when sleeping in the pop-up bed at some pretty low temperatures. Once we figured out how to use the leaky propane stove–which I’m sure can be easily fixed–we were able to cook several meals (zoodles with homemade Bolognese sauce and plenty of fresh eighteen month old parmesan or a cheese and mushroom omelette) in the cabin, subverting bad weather and allowing us to watch a movie on the iPad. Making fresh tea and coffee is a breeze. The fridge holds enough wine and cheese to help us watch a second iPad movie during another day of bad weather. Did I mention how well the friggin’ heater in this thing works (once we got it working)? Did I mention how bad the weather can be in Northern Germany in early June on the Baltic Sea? When connected to electricity there is plenty of USB ports for iPhones and iPads and normal juice for charging e-bike batteries. Oh. This thing comes with Apple Car Play–which I’m now convinced I would never buy a vehicle without. And while I’m on the subject of Apple. I even brought along one of our HomePod Minis to see if I could use it on-the-go. It works like a charm and there were a few nights jazz filled the camping halls of Valhalla and/or confused other pöbel campers with their convenient albeit ugly (uncool) campers–even though they do have built-in toilets. Heck. For going on sixty and having some pee-pee problems, I think I did pretty good finding my way to a toilet in the middle of a North German camping night.
As noted, we ended out trip on the island of Sylt. This was my second attempt to visit Sylt. The fist attempt was a disaster. Last October we had booked ten days in a cute little bungalow but because of the weather we skipped out on the last three days. I have never seen so much rain and wet in my life outside of tropical regions. Keep in mind, dear worst-reader, Sylt is a very special place for Das Volk. It is, as best as worst-writer can describe it, the ultimate German vacation spot–with the worst fcuking weather ever! What the heck draws so many Germans to this place is a mystery (to worst-moi). For. Don’t you know. The only way to reach this island is either by train or by fairy. This time we entered Sylt from Denmark and fairy. Otherwise you have to get to the island via a train you drive you car on and it carries you across the North Sea backwards for a few miles and you get all confused and it doesn’t matter because, well, at least there’s plenty of good wine, food and oysters once you get there. Wait. The weather on Sylt sucks.
Der Porsche Pöbel Insel Überhaupt
Yea. Sylt is the place where old Germans (the only ones, btw, who can afford them) take their Porsches to feel young again driving up and down the lone Sylt highway considering whether or not they’ll get Königsberg back or maybe, just maybe, they’ll get a chance to buy Greenland from Denmark before the #Trump-ist of my beloved & missed #Americant do. Or maybe not.
Putting all worst-writer nonsense aside, there is one redeeming factor to visit the German über-island of Sylt. Due to some sea barring goddess of Viking lore Sylt managed to import Irish oysters and now they’re everywhere in the muddy North Sea German waters. And if that ain’t bad enough, they’re f’n delicious. Keep in mind, dear worst-reader, worst-writer was born and reared around the Chesapeake Bay. There was a time when Chesapeake oysters ruled the world. Reason? The brackish waters of the bay produced über oysters. That is. They were everything Botticelli dreamed of when he was dreaming of The Birth of Venus. Sweat. Tender. The smell of the ocean when the sun shines upon her. The texture of human tongue languishing in the feminine of life that is seventy percent of her earth–that only a real man can reap. Or. The oysters from Sylt are so good I’ll go back when I can just to eat them (her).
And by-the-buy. The VW Bulli camper rocks. I’ll keep you posted if we get one.
It’s time, dear worst-reader. Better-halves of the world unite as the SHE decides what/where/how regarding all-things Holidays. In this case, the decision has been made to cruise around the Baltic Sea for a few weeks in a… wait for it.
That’s right. My better-half has decided, for this years holidays, to drive around in a house on wheels. In other worst-words, let the confrontation(s) begin.
The confrontation is the simple idear worst-writer can’t be seen in a house on wheels.
But she insisted, claiming that we’re old enough to be a bit Spießig. I added that road campers give me the creeps because they remind me of how I should’ve ended up in life. For, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, there is somewhere in this grand world of worst a trailer in a trailer park on cinderblocks with my name on it but instead its lived in by #MAGA morons and #Americants of ill-repute who are unable to master any luck in their search for a life of leisure and/or sticking it to the man by not being a working-poor schmuck. But then she insisted and insisted and insisted and her masterful teary eyes, full of yearning and desire, for a camping vacation–that she’d always wanted… Yea. We know how this is gonna turn out.
Can’t we go to Thailand instead, I asked.
No, no, no, she said. I always wanted to go camping and now it’s time and we’ll do Thailand when the Covid thing has been declared over.
Really? We have to wait for the Covid thingy? I thought we have to worry about monkey-pox now? WTF!
Indeed. It may be time–both for compromise and a reality check about this worst-world of viruses galore. But then I had a idear.
Ok honey, I said. How bout this? We don’t do it in a house-on-wheels, which I think is embarrassing and scary, but how bout we rent a hippie-van? Yea. Hippie-vans are cool. Remember those?
A what, she said while those tears quickly dried and were as quickly replaced by woman-scorned skepticism.
You know, I added. Flowers on the dashboard. Maybe even a bobblehead of Elvis. We can forget the tie-dye t-shirts. I’ll let my beard grow and you’ll forget your bras and we’ll sleep in the back of a VW Bulli with hand painted peace signs all over it. How bout that?
She stepped away from the confrontation with her phone and started her google machine. A bit relieved that I had avoided a confrontation of blows, during breakfast the next morning, she blurted out that the VW Bulli thing is fine.
Wha…, I thought. I’m gonna have to get back to practicing ways to avoid all HER wishes with weak compromises. And with that in worst-mind, looks like I’m playing hippie in a hippie bus, come what may.