Stuff I Never Knew Existed Or Why Not Politics In A Redneck Pub

stuff never knew existed brussel sprouts
Living abroad so long means not being able to follow all the new über-happy hip food designs.

I know you’re not supposed to talk politics while consuming beverages at your local redneck pub. This is doubly so when beveragizing during happy-hour. Yet. Being the politically accute person I am, there are times when I can’t help myself and I do that which I shouldn’t. (Does that contradict being acute?)

Scene: extremely windy late afternoon, the sun is shinning, the hour of happy at local pub just started. I walked from my parents ageing beach house down wind–the whole time conscious of how many beers I would consume to make the same trip upwind. Put another way, even sober, if my long coat got caught in the downwind I’d be blown off the sidewalk. Nomatter. The day was less weather hectic compared to previous days and the winter storm had passed us by to the north. The temperature was just below freezing.

When I reached the bar I entered through a door that looked as though it had been broken into recently. The rim of the door was reinforced with steel platting and heavy rivets. The bar was not yet steamy from bodies and drink but a few fellow rednecks occupied the seats that got the most sun through the large front window that was mostly covered in neon ad lights. I sat on the corner of the bar next to an older lady that had bouffant hair. She wore too many pieces of jewellery and when she reached for her tall, pink drink the rings on her fingers clanked and clicked. I ordered my first draft and thanked the easy-on-the-eyes bartendress.

By the time I got my drink a group of four entered and sat at the shadowy end of the bar. The bartendress obviously knew the group. While she filled their drinks and also added drinks to the few people next to the bouffant lady, a commercial flashed on one of the many TVs hanging from the wall behind the bar. It was an add for the army. When the commercial was over the bouffant lady yelled: make America great again. The people next to her said here here here. Astonished at what I just witnessed I turned to the bouffant lady and asked:

“Mam, I’m curious. Were you not offended by Trump’s vulgarities during the campaign?”

“Hell no,” she said. “I know for a fact that men have said worse things about me. And besides. That damn Bill Clinton raped five women…”

And so. Dear worst-reader. That is how it begins. That is how one opens a can of worst-worms in the redneck happy-hour bar that is (my beloved) #Americant.

Which brings me to the following question: Why do shredded Brussel sprouts (pic above) remind me of how an entire country can sink so deeply into a cesspool of the obscene where intellect is the enemy, where rational thought a rarity, where life itself cannot find a way out of the psychotic. Oh my.

Rant on.

-t

Twenty Bucks To Fly Across The Atlantic And Other Industry Antics Indicative Of How We Are So Thoroughly Screwed

screen-shot-lh-flight-receipt

No reason to be shocked. This flight, technically, I guess, has a “price” of “20.00 €”. And why shouldn’t it? Talk about a bargain. But then again, I did fly once across the Atlantic about thirty years ago–and for the life of me I can’t remember the name of the airline–that costs somewhere around a hundred dollars. Back then that was THE BOMB. It was the coolest flight ever, too. Everybody bought their own brown paper bag full of lunch and other munchies because there was neither service or stewardesses available. There were only these nice ladies dressed in purple that would provide water because there was some kind of regulation requiring the airline to at least hydrate passengers. Since the the entire fuselage was filled with economy class seats there was nothing but the boring sound of an a nine hour flight and the crunching of plastic bags, chips & doritos, and a few cracks of beer cans during the entire crossing. I think, if you paid (lots) extra, you could get those weird  tube headphones and watch a movie from a drop-down cathode ray tube. And there is one other thing I can’t remember about the past (where my expatriation began). How much “Taxes and carrier imposed fees” did we have to pay for flights back then? Nomatter. I suppose if anything does matter anymore it’s where all the money goes that we have to pay to consume to survive. And by-the-bye, the “OPC” charge is for the use of a credit card. But I digress. Rant on. -t

Fascism: The New Rainbow Coalition

fasces-rainbow

So I’m sitting at a bar, nursing an Obstler. I can’t figure out if my drink tastes like peach or pears. And that really confuses me when I’m on one of them special self-medicating evenings. Btw, for the longest time when I was a child I never really understood the difference between peaches and pears. Of course, obviously, both look different and they even taste different, but to me, while youthfully contemplating fruit, there was so much more of a difference between pears and oranges that trying to figure peaches and pears was just too much. Which brings me back to the subject at hand–i.e. steering gallantly away from my subpar intellectual youth. And so. Like I said. While nursing a drink at a local pub a man and a woman near me were arguing about politics. And not just any politics. They were arguing about grabbing pussy-politics, i.e. fascism–which means, in short, they were talking about my beloved #Americant. The thing that made the argument interesting to my ears, though, was the fact that the woman was defending #Trump. According to emancipated-slash-feminist Euro-babes, Trump’s boy-talk while exiting a bus wasn’t such a big deal. Obviously it’s gonna take #Eurwastelanders a bit longer to get over Trumpism and I suppose many a pub, bar, kneipe, drinking dump will see conversations like this one en masse. Or maybe not. Which is fine by me on account these confused, tribal people (Eurowastelanders) are a hoot to behold while they discuss pussy-politics. Seriously. Europeans are clueless to politics these days, especially real politics. (For those who get it… pun intended!) Seriously. The only thing Europeans can do is buy stuff, pay taxes and take in war torn refugees because of wars of oil, etc. Anywho–before I get too far off subject yet again…

Almost finished with my drink and about to pay, the man next to me who was gayly arguing with his counterpart reached around and said to me: can you define fascism?

How do you know I’m American, I said to him.

He then pointed to the bartender to give me another drink–on him. Not one to refuse the kindness of strangers, I gulped down the remainder of my drink and had a long look at the woman my new friend was drinking and arguing with. I said to myself: I’d have a gooh with that philly.

My new drink arrived. Obviously my benefactor was a friend of the bartender because the drink was definitely a double. I took a sip, stopped goo-goo eying the mans arguing counterpart and then said: are you sure you want to talk to me about this stuff? Besides, I continued, Europeans don’t know politics anymore. It’s been kinda beat out of you, don’t you know. Except, of course, maybe the French. Yeah, the French know politics a bit. But you Germans… (gulp, gulp, gulp; the Obstler was starting to have an effect.)

Fascists are just authoritarian capitalist, right, the woman said.

No, they are political extremist, racists, bigots, they are the riffraff that behave in any manor that would facilitate their day-dream of rags to riches, my Obstler benefactor said.

As the only American in the room, it was time I took control.

Well, my fellow comrades, Freunde, federalists, I’ve actually given Fascism a thought or three during my years as an expat on the continent. Without turning over all the rocks we’ve politically lined our shores with (from under which rare jumping oysters thrive), allow me to put it this way. It’s really quite simple. Fascism is nothing more than a political answer to communism. If you want to define fascism you can read all the scholarly and academic writings about it or you can just look up communism, then try to understand what went on in the former Soviet Union, and what’s now going on in China and North Korea, among other countries, and then simply find the polar opposite.

The polar opposite, the woman asked.

Well, almost the polar opposite I said taking another swig from my Obstler. Let me put it another simple way. Fascism is the answer to post 1917 communism. There would be no fascism without communism. Communism came first, never forget that. Fascism is the only way for capitalists to save their own greed souls when humans turn to social collectives. What we have now with America’s new Trumpism is simply another colour, another version of Fascisms many faces–or as an old friend of my mine once called it: the rainbow coalition of greed mongers.

My phone. My editor from LA was calling. So I gulped my drinking benefactors drink, smiled at the Euro-babe he was arguing with and left.

Not a moment too soon.

Rant on.

-t

Why there is no Elon Musk or Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, etc., in #Germany

Link: Could Frankfurt become the new Berlin for startups | The Local

The confusion continues. With the insertion of (fill # here) refugees into an already dysfunctional social-market-economy (Germany’s newspeak for its politburo, pseudo-communist status) there’s little room for anyone in an already bursting-at-seams country (unless, of course, you’re a PHD totting white German). But let’s skip the old talk about Elbogen (elbow room) since we all know where that lead. Instead lets have a laugh at the idear that yet another German city could become a technology hub. As far as I can remember… (sarcasm on) the tech hub cities so far have been (not necessarily in this order):

  1. Darmstadt
  2. Munich
  3. Berlin
  4. And now Frankfurt (sarcasm off)?

Keep in mind, and according to the article linked above, Frankfurt is already a business hub–for banks. But since #americant’s president-elect owes Deutsche Bank something like 300m Euros–which might not be “peanuts” anymore–it’s only logical that the country has plenty of cities where the ills of negative creativity reign free and can prosper. And besides, Germany doesn’t need hub-cities where industry can promulgate. No. All it needs to cure its ills is to kill the families that own all the 19th century industry that’s been sucking the life out of everything, always. And while you’re killing all those useless, greed-monger families, kill all the senior and junior corporate executives that keep those useless families buying their yachts and whatnot.

Or maybe not.

Rant on.

-t

Things To Come, Things Been, Don’t Worry: Buy Something

Screen Shot 2017-01-02 at 11.03.10.jpg

The singer in the pic is an example of what’s to come or she’s just more of how it’s all been. Or did you miss her pseudo performance the other night? Btw, I’m wondering if I too could pack myself into something tight for a winter gala and still look that good while performing so poorly. The funny part about Mariah Carey’s recent NYC New Years performance is that it’s not the first time she’s had her way with the audience. Didn’t she screw-up a national anthem once at a sport event? And didn’t she screw it up badly? Nomatter. The reason she exemplifies what #americant is about is because people still consume her. We love gimmicks and feel-good krapp. I mean, she does look plumply delicious, or? And that’s the ticket, ain’t it dear worst-reader? Or maybe not.

Link: She rings in 2017 as only she can | HuffPost

Rant on.

-t

When Money Talks Bullsh*t Rules

picture-of-america-future

Look closely at the pic above. It is the pic of your future. Your future is now. And there is nothing to come after it. Except. Maybe. Another candidate full of Hope & Change. But I digress. In the pic above an a$$hole businessman did something that will make a bunch of a$$hole follower’s hearts beat a bit faster. The businessman is something like Japan’s richest man and he had just met with #americants pseudo-richest man, i.e. comb-over & chief. These two men, as are most businessmen, are nothing more than bull$hitters that have reached the top–a “top” that rests on the lives of The Stupid. These men are, indeed, that which has built a society of greed galore–of stupid galore. How all this came to past is another useless post from worst-writer. So allow me to just focus on the pic above. The pic above is another great example that no one will understand because it is so full of truth. Make America Great Again! Great compared to what? Oh, the idea of America was great. The dream was great. The patriotism is great. And now? Elect your comb-over & chief so that your misdirected anger that allows you to never look in the mirror is itching you right now–so keep looking away while you scratch. In a way, the pic above is part of your mirror. In fact, it’s such a small part that you can look at it without seeing the truth of who you are. It’s like going to a wrastling match. WWE. Do you know why wrastling is so popular? It’s popular because the people who watch want to be ridden, abused, mis-used, etc., it is all they know. These people get satisfaction out of their misery because they have been programmed to KNOW that someone else is to blame for it. Which makes them feel a-ok. Like a snort of cocaine, a needle in the arm of heroin, smoking some meth. And so. There is no difference between the content of the “signed” piece of paper–that promises so much nothingness–wrastling, and a political system that is able to exploit the drugged-up-stupid. But you can’t see that. Because you actually think that a businessman has signed a deal with another business man that will bring you jobs and wealth because you believe you are going to be great again. Itch. Itch.

Rant on.

-t

PS Go ‘head and look up the companies listed on the top of the BS signed page in the pic above. Remember the time when all those people jumped to their deaths because they couldn’t deal with building Apple iPhones? Foxconn is Apple’s manufacture since all the company actually does is design shit in Cupertino. Since then Foxconn installed nets around the roofs of their slave buildings in order to catch the slave jumpers. These are the “jobs” promised in the signed document in the pic above. Enjoy your next WWE match.

Favourite Bullets About The Demise Of All

capitalism_not_quite

Little to say, much to read. Been putting off reading Michael Hudson’s Book:

Killing the Host: How Financial Parasites and Debt Bondage Destroy the Global Economy.

But I’ll get to it soon enough. Till then here’s a link to a great article written by another of my fav world-ending writers, Chris Hedges, who quotes a lot from Hudson. Here a few bullet points worth remembering (along with my weak-minded snide, ranting sarcasm).

  • In just a few short words Hedges manages to summarize presidents since Reagan and what they all are about–and it ain’t pretty. (What a surprise, eh.)
  • “The rich never have enough.” (No shit Sherlock.)
  • Neo-liberalism = state sponsored extortion. (But how should the dumb-downed, i.e. #Americants, know what neo-liberalism is?)
  • Rentier class, economic rent, interest rates, monopolies… (buy some starbucks on a credit card you can’t pay off?)
  • Traditional economics is being turned up-side-down. The confusion of this transition has put #Americants in a state of shock. It has literally disabled the entire country from being able to make rational decisions, especially when it comes to politcs. Even though The Donald deserves praise for what he has done to the sh*tbag republican party, what he and his ilk will do to the country now that he has been elected president, especially based on what those who have paved his way have done, is pretty scary. But hey, at least Ivanka looks good. (This last bullet is mostly from moi, aka worst-writer.)

Rant on, baby.

-T

Link that motivated this post.