It is the new & forever improving/changing #Americantcreed, don‘t you know, dear worst-reader. Fake it till you make it. Considering how things are going, of late (on this planet), or at least since the beginning of the twenty-first century, if you don‘t live a life of fake it till you make it then you must face the reality of an unambiguous choice between two sides of the same dirty, rotten, greed coin: are you a Have or are you a Have-Not? Indeed. Then again. For those in the worst-know, there are the Have-Mores–but they‘re so friggin rich, like gods, I worst-suppose, their world(s) need not be ￼contemplated. Or do you worst-wish to think about how they ALL got so rich? Am I wrong. Then again again.￼
The thing is, dear worst-reader, as I scan the newzungloriously in search of all-things worst, it‘s never been easier to spot fake it till you make it. BTW, some refer to fake it till you make using a pejorative. Perhaps you know it? Bull$hit. Or, perhaps, you now the bull$hit meter. And so. Is your BS meter off the charts? Or do you, unlike worst-writer, refrain from the newz?
Obviously the current greatest fake it till you make it persona has to be former prez pee-pee-hair. I worst-mean. He‘s been faking it since the day his mother‘s bouffant fell into his warm glass of chocolate buttermilk pudding the night after his hideous father whipped his arse so bad that it caused his hair to start falling out and he was only three. Of course. There are numerous other personas of fake it till you make it. Ain‘t history awash with them? The likes of Anna Sorokin, though, is too obvious. Or what about that German who claimed to have found Hitler’s diaries? Yeah. Those people are obvious. Fake it till you make it is more than conmen and grifters, don‘t you know. Or is it? #Nomatter.
The real fake it till you make it people are cut from another slate, dear worst-reader. Again. The best living example, or most successful, has to be former prez mango Mussolini. But what about ALL the #Americant mega-church preachers? And what of all of the CEOs running #Americant corporations for the past fourth or fifty years? Aren‘t they part of this ship of greed? With that in worst-mind, what‘s with all the fake it till you make it wannabes? You know. Like the Elizabeth Holmes or the FTX guy? Wow. How bout Elon Musk since he bought twitter? I mean. I really thought he had the potential to be one of the great ones. You know. One of the great ones that didn‘t fake it till you make it. But I suppose the jury is still out on that one.
Oh. Before I forget. While catching up on this stuff I came across a an article that has a new name for fake it till you make it. It‘s called behavioral activation. Not sure about you but there are rare moments when the old ways are sometimes better than the new ways. Then again, worst-writer is a big fan of renaming, if not redefining, the word career. It should be called compulsive behaviorism. Yeah. That‘s the worst-ticket.
Alternative worst-title: Musk and the new wave of CEO mismanagement or how to giggle-barf profusely at Zuckerberg and does Beos creep you out?
Probably can’t worst-write about it enough, dear worst-reader. That says a lot considering how much worse there is out there these days. So let’s ask a few worst-questions instead. For worst-example. Are you having a Freudenschade moment? Do you feel for all the tech people losing their jobs? Are we (consume-to-survivors) on the verge of a/the great tech chasm that may or mayn’t (finally) put the interwebnets back in the hands of Das Volk i.e. users as opposed to automaton corporate goons? Does Amazon even deserve to exist? Then again…
What the bee-gee-zees is going on in the tech world?
Within the coming months somewhere between thirty and forty thousand tech workers are gonna lose their jobs. WTF! I mean. Don‘t get me wrong, don‘t you know, dear worst-reader. I was employed and fired several times in the short stint of a tech career that someone told me I had. Every time I was fired (laid off) I giggled my way out of the company. Well, I giggled till that last giggle stopped turning into a new job. Yeah. I was sort of a job-jumper more than I was a careerist. That‘s obvious.
So what’s the big deal with the tech world these days?
Well. First. Social media, at least to worst-moi, ain‘t the tech world. Using the web as a storefront/distribution business aka Amazon also ain’t about tech. ￼On the other worst-hand, worst-writer would give more credit to the likes of Twitter as a tech company. Facebag? That is a media company. What is a tech company? Yeah. You might want to do your own #interwebnet stuff on that question.
Although I have no idear what‘s gonna happen to Twitter, Musk buying it was not a very smart tech thing to do. So is Musk, perhaps, not very bright?
￼The things is, dear worst-reader. I can‘t care much anymore about all this chaos in the world. Reason? Simple. I don‘t have a full life ahead of me. At my age, my days are numbered. Then again. There is this little speck of desire, not unlike that tickle I can still get sometimes in my pecker that reminds me of those banging days–where I tried to fit into a world of compliant, compulsive, automaton behaviorists but in the end (as in end of my job/career days) I managed to find a way out that was/is only comparable to winning the friggin lottery but never buying a lottery ticket on account, well, I just can‘t get behind the idear of voluntary taxation. But I die-gress.
Although not an AirTag user, worst-writer is digging this report. For. Don’t you know, dear worst-reader. Where is there a better example of pure, unadulterated corporate arrogance than airlines? That this happens to LH shouldn’t surprise worst-moi. If I have a choice when flying to my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant I always use LH. But I assure you. I don’t use it for its service. I use it to a avoid US carriers. Still. That these AirTags can show lost luggage location when the corporate automatons sit around and twiddle thumbs between arse and mouth is delicious.
How bout the weather in #Eurowasteland these days, dear worst-reader? Yesterday D’dorf hit 36°c (96°f). For a place where air conditioning is only available in your car, that’s pretty friggin hot. For the past two days we have had all the windows closed, the shades drawn and we’ve taken great care not to leave any terrace or patio doors open so as to not let in the heat. Or is it not let out the cold remaining in our flat from a long and wet winter? #Nomatter. Although it’s a task to keep our flat cool for the whole of summer, we need to do all we can to hinder that such an early heatwave doesn’t extend the inevitable. The way this summer is going, I’m sure by the end of June or early July there will be nothing we can do to prevent things from heating up. With that in worst-mind, I actually took a sun-bath nap in the late afternoon yesterday and when I woke my sun-lounge was drenched with sweat. Did I achieve the right amount of tan-line that my better-half digs? Maybe. Then again, after spending the last three weeks in the cold and rain of the Baltic coast, a bit of über-sun felt pretty good even though it was the hottest June day ever in some parts of Germany. Plus. It gave me a chance to catch up on some reading. With that in worst-mind…￼
How is it that some think there is a new kind of right-wing in my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant? Or did you not know that Republicans, in contrast to Democrats,￼ need a new thing every now and then? According to the Vanity Fair article that motivated this post, there is whole bunch of unsung diversity among Republicans. But before I worst-get to that. It’s not enough that the right-wing of my beloved & missed #Americant, especially the bat$hit right-wing of the Republican Party (for there is certainly a right-wing of the Democratic Party–but that doesn’t mean I’m a bothsiderist), has found ways to branch out, diversify, interject new and bold idears, it’s mostly about how they are shameless in doing it￼. As much as it hurts to admit, I’ve admired Republicans because of this ￼for a while now. Whether it’s the bat$hit of Alex Jones, the man-child, trustxfund baby￼ whining of Tucker Carlson or the buffoonery of thumb in arse to thumb in mouth that is #Trump, Republicans sure do know how to mix things up. The thing that entertains worst-moi about it all, though, is how much I laugh and giggle and cackle watching #Americants eat it all up while #Trumpist wave smelly fingers in front of their faces. Hee-haw, baby.
The worst-thing is, dear worst-reader, the Democratic Party, as middle of the road as it has become in the past (insert your number here) years, can’t seem to shake the stigma of nomenclature stuck somewhere between 1950 and the fall of the Berlin Wall. You know, the nomenclature that is communist, socialist, marxist, liberal, hippy, etc. I mean. Other than a few & far between lingerers that manage to traverse (or is intersect) political ideology, all the Democrats have is an Independent, Bernie Sanders, a feminists, Hillary, and a youthful and gorgeous millennial, AOC, who is from, of all places, Brooklyn. Wait. They are the only source of anything blue in the country, right? #Nomatter. My point is, Dems have no diversity–politically speaking￼. Wait. What about Antifa, you ask. Well. No. That ain’t it. Antifa is a right-wing thing, don’t you know. At the least, it’s part of the right-wing cartoon. At the least-least, Democrats should have embraced antifa. Instead they let faux-newz control its meaning changing if from being short for Anti-Fascist to being… whatever. Or do you really believe that some Democrats are fascist insurgents or proto-fascist enablers that want to take your guns away, force government paid abortions that will coincide with government paid contraception, prosecute you for yelling FIRE in a crowded theatre and don’t forget about all the porn that is gonna stream for free to pizza parlours where children are groomed for sexual slavery in basements while hooligan evangelists crush the paws of puppies￼. The cartoon working for you yet, dear worst-reader?
And now for a short worst-reality check. Considering that it was with a Democratic president (Clinton) that my beloved & missed #Americant enabled/facilitated its greatest post WW2 economic boom (Dotcom) and there hasn’t been anything like it since, Democrats are now the communists? Wow. That’s why it must be a struggle for Dems to do what Repubs do. Indeed. The Republican side knows how not only to get it’s mojo on but how to keep it on–viagra style, baby. So let’s worst-run down the list again: the tea-party, Neo-cons, Reaganites, #MAGA, Q-Anon and what I like to refer to as the brown-shirts aka The Proud Boys and Oath Keepers. Again. Wow. So much excitement on the right side of things.
The problem is, dear worst-reader, it’s not enough for political conservatism to have more political diversity in its ranks. It’s more about the idear that there always needs to be something more, something new, differentiators galore. Like a junky and his next hit or that same junky finding a better hit (fentanyl)￼, it’s all about the hit. Conservatives have to push on and on and on because they can never see the one-way highway that is their only way. It’s almost as though, unlike liberal minded peoples, who IMHO are enlightened about the world, conservatives lust for illiberalism because it is the spark in their dried up forest they know they can always rely on in a pinch. A/The pinch that will save their arses when/if/as the world comes to an end because, well, illiberal peoples the world over are usually not smart enough to work or manage their way out of a problem–but instead rely on coercion and violence and authority–to just burn it all down instead of admitting to so much un-enlightenment. The saddest part is liberals don’t have time to care. Reason? I’m not quite sure. Is it passivity? Too many generations of leisure? Weed? How political conservatism￼ has murdered culture just like it decimated the countries manufacturing base￼? I don’t know. More worst-thought on that perhaps in a later worst-post.
Right-wingers are easy prey to the whims and idiosyncrasies of reactionary politics, particularly when politics are cartoonish. Conservatism breeds anti-intellectualism, anti-science, religious dogma, the want of a saviour, but also a former president that spends more time in the morning on his hair than he does learning about the world, etc. That’s not to say that The Left doesn’t have diversity. It’s just that, for worst-writer, labels like Antifa, which, to my surprise has its own wiki post associating it with the U.S., or Socialists like Bernie and AOC, simply can’t play the cartoon game. First. Enlightened peoples (Liberals) can see through the bull$hit of the one-way highway that is The Right. This was best exemplified when former prez pee-pee-hair commented after Charlottesvillethere were fine people on both sides. WTF? But there’s one new thing right-wingers have up their sleeve that not many people are concerned about. But should be.
In the end, baby, it’s all about the money.
As mentioned above, right-wingers have the tea-party, Q-Anon, #MAGA, etc. These people are the minions. Dems have Hillary and, perhaps, Hunter Biden’s laptop (or is it Benghazi)? This is cartoonish media fodder. #Nomatter. But there’s now something else right-wingers can pull out of their cartoon hat and thereby maintain control of the spark and their dried-up, old white man forest. Some call them Libertarians. Neo-liberals might also be a/their buzzword. In any case, these are people, according to the article below, that somehow claim, rationalise, that their beliefs (ideology) transcends both sides of the #Americant political spectrum which may or may not make them neutral or, at best, not radical￼. How ingenious of them, eh? But all worst-sarcasm aside.
The author of the article, who I’m guessing is liberal, does a pretty good job of wadding in the shark waters of pseudo-republicans so he can get an interview. You know. He buttons-up for the money-mongers of both new-republicans waiting in the wings for the old republicans to all die-off and the money grubbers hell-bent on making sure that nothing as banal as government bureaucracy or legislation can get in the way of their über-selfish interests, e.g. Peter Thiel. Although worst-writer is aware of the likes of Peter Thiel and JD Vance, I would have appreciated a bit more brass-balls when writing about these people. Peter Thiel is an ideological ￼horror show with a huge bank account. A bank account he is willing to open up to those who like his horror￼. ￼Vance is the same but he’s dependent on Thiel because he is a politician–or the author of a very weird book￼￼. The main problem with Neo-liberals and/or libertarians, dear worst-reader, is simple. These are in essence bat$hit Republicans without (brass) balls. They will always be dependent on the past never thinking about the future. Well, at least they will never think about a future that doesn’t include money grubbing. Although ￼they believe that they have better idears than the old guard, in￼ essence, they are young $hit-flies regurgitating on the ancient dungheap at the foot of a dried up forest￼. Indeed. Unlike old Republicans who are the spark holders￼, these younger, money-grubbing Libertarians, having polished-up their right-wing jargon, and will do nothing to stop what is obviously the coming end of the perpetual state of slow-crash into a smoldering rotten forest ￼that is my beloved & missed #Americant.
Good luck suckers.
Rant on, baby.
Why am I surprised, dear worst-reader? Did I believe that Bitcoin was impenetrable? Did I think that the government or authorities would never crack the kryptonite–that could take down the likes of Bitcoin? Or did I simply think, ultimately, Government doesn’t really care–if there may or may not be some competition? That is, somewhere in the back of my worst-mind, I thought (dreamt?) that because government monopoly on currency could never be broken and only at best dented by crypto-currency, it would just stand by and watch the show go on and on and thereby giggle once or thrice as the masses lose their collective $hit about the value of block-chain generated currency. But guess what, dear worst-reader? Worst-writer be all-kinds of wrong.
According to reports, government crypto authorities (FBI) employed one of three tactics to break into the recent ransomware payments from the Colonial Pipeline attacks that almost crippled gasoline supplies for the entire south east of the united mistakes of #Americant. An act, by-the-buy, that made me laugh my arse off. Not unlike any of the ransomware acts previously perpetrated, worst-writer couldn’t help but perform cartwheels along with exuberant $hits & giggles with these recent perpetrations. Indeed. So is it entertainment for those of us who not only question the idiocy of old money in #Americant but also could give a hoot what happens to that old money? That said and before I get too far off worst-subject, the three tactics employed by crypto authorities (FBI) in order to reign in the simple genius of ransomeware pirates includes the following:
Someone from Darkside snitched and provided access
The criminals were careless which could have given access to emails or other related correspondence
Either Bitcoin or a Bitcoin exchange snitched
Not sure about you, dear worst-reader, but something about this story gets to me. I mean. Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad they recovered something from the ransomware. Heck, over $4m dollars (of very, very old money) was paid out and just over $2m was recovered (which, of course, don’t make it new money. Am I wrong.). Obviously criminal activity like this ain’t right. But if you allow me to put this in a bit of worst-context…
A private company was hacked due to private company negligence. Put another way. Capitalist entities today are one of two things. First, corporations are borderline criminal entities. It’s the only way they can function in the fiction and pseudo-science that is today’s the market place. Corporate taxes, CEO compensation and stock evaluations should be evidence of this. Second, since the demise of the Dotcom boom–which worst-writer considers that last attempt at subverting the return of the robber barons–old capitalist entities, old money, has been struggling to make sure that that sort of thing doesn’t happen again. Reason? The greatest struggle of old money (unearned wealth) is the reversal of all forms of corporate costs–which is what capitalists have been fighting since FDR. In other words, corporations have been given the green light since the so-called Reagan-revolution so that they…
Don’t pay taxes
No longer have to worry about labour or unions interfering with profits
Use stock price, whether inflated or fake (stock buy-backs), to determine the value of the company which also determines management compensation, etc., etc.
So. Again. I could give a hoot if an old-money corporation like Colonial Pipeline (doesn’t the name give worst-reader the creeps) takes one up the poop-shooter because ransomware made one of its privileged and useless employees click on the wrong email link. Again. Whenever I hear about ransomware my arse starts laughing! But that’s neither here nor there.
Capitalism is pretty much, according to worst-writer, upon its nadir. If you’re not in the know, dear worst-reader, just have a visit to my beloved & missed #Americant to see it. The sheer number of #Trump flags making ridiculous claims or conspiracy theories running rampant about how that idiot is gonna be re-instated as prez pee-pee-hair by August 2021 or just look at how much debt people have because gas prices are still at Iraq war levels… Heck! It’s a wonder there aren’t more ransomware attacks. Not that I’m wishing it on anyone, don’t you know. But my arse is puckering up for more laughter. Am I wrong.
A United Airlines plane with a Pratt & Whitney engine that failed on Saturday had flown fewer than half the flights allowed by U.S. regulators between fan blade inspections, two sources with knowledge of the matter said.
As mentioned in my previous post, dear worst-reader, there is something to worst-say about the dilemma the world is in that is (obviously) lead by my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant. That dilemma is nothing less than the status quo that is post WW2 political conservatism run amok that thinks, well, why not not just keep the $hitshow going on and on and on, on account so many inept fools (Das Volk) won’t notice as we (the moneyed interests) have them by the wag-tails. Unless, of course, they start to actually see/recognise the obvious signs. And indeed. So it is. On the other worst-hand, if there were ever signs that the end is NOT nigh but instead we’re actually living in that end, as in, you know, COVID, perpetual wars-of-choice, airliners dropping out of the sky, #Trump, etc., would any of the inept fools do anything about it? Of course not. Reason? If they can’t maintain an Airliner how are they gonna maintain a country? I wonder if there are #Trumpers in airline companies protesting the reality of physics that require airliners to stay in the sky? Trying to imagine what intellectually goes on in the confines of corporate boards regarding the reality of seeds sown… Oh well…
Time to go there again, eh, dear worst-reader? I mean, I’ve dabbled in banking and finance krapp on this blog before. You know, dabbled, as in, from my couch. At the least, I’ve tried to comprehend what ultimately has become a casino madhouse free-for-all that is the current (mis)banking world. And where best to begin with that sort of rigamarole? That’s right, baby. It all begins in the land of my beloved & missed #Americant. The greatest land of… FREEDOM TO BE STUPID. On the other hand, there is also this thing with Germania. You know. Germany. My host expat country. Where Huns and their dachshunds romp gayly through mountain forests of yore singing… Lass uns bumsen.
On the other hand, if you can stomach it, I’ve attempted to comprehend the world of freaky finance here, here or here. Good luck with that.
With this worst-post, though, things are gonna be a bit different. It’s time to focus solely on… z’Germans. Namely. Deutsche Bank is once again having a new arsehole ripped through its innards by regulators and I don’t know whether to laugh or tickle my fancy till I puke rainbows. With that in worst-mind, here’s an excerpt from the motivating article that I’ve linked to at the end of this post. This is from a Deutsche Welle article where they concisely list seven or so Deutsche Bank Scandals. Here’s the scandal that interests me the most. Footnotes are from me.
Subprime credits1 are considered to be what caused the global financial crisis2. It was above all Deutsche Bank that bought up the poorly secured mortgages from US home buyers, wrapped them up in highly complex financial products, slapped them with top ratings3, and sold them on to other banks as secure investment products4. When the market collapsed, the bonds5 became instantly worthless. Meanwhile, internally, Deutsche Bank had long bet on a crash — and made a lot of money doing so6. In 2013, the bank was given a first penalty; it had to pay $1.9 billion to then-nationalised US construction financiers Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae7. The bank agreed on a settlement with US authorities in 2017. Initial talks were of $14 billion, equivalent to financial ruin for Deutsche Bank. In the end, the bank paid $7.2 billion8.
US Mortgage Transactions, source: see link below
I’ve been trying to understand this krapp for years. Quite an entertaining endeavour, don’t you know. Reason for my efforts? Well, get this. I think there’s a conspiracy afoot. And when I say conspiracy, I don’t mean conspiracy-theory. In fact, I sometimes stop what looks like a banker in the streets. I compliment him on his fancy snake leather shoes and matching belt and then reassure him I’m not a fag looking for a quickie. Then I ask:
There’s a bit of here & there as the banker adjust his tie and belt and then begins to take a defensive posture against the Ausländer talking $hit about his number one national bank.
The thing is this, dear worst-reader. I’ve suspected for years that the reason Deutsche Bank is in so much trouble is due to 1) historical circumstance and, perhaps, 2) geographic location (which amounts to it not being in London or NYC). And so. There are powers-that-be who think the bank can be used as a patsy–in the middle of #Eurowasteland. The problem is, Germans don’t make good patsies. Or do they?
Again, because of its historical circumstance, DB would gladly be a player in the Anglo-casino game. But like any capitalist pig, it would be willing to lose only so much. That said, it participated in the casino free-for-all that took place in my beloved & missed post cold-war #Americant–with only its investment banking entity. As noted in the excerpt above, that entity won bigly. When the subprime crash hit in 2008, it was time to cash in its casino chips. Of course, the Anglo bankers didn’t like what they saw. Namely, when the casino bell ended all bets, the Germans were standing there with all the chips, or at least a lot of them. The losers, as mentioned in the excerpt above, where organisation like Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae and who knows how many more–to include, I’m guessing, a few large American banks. I suppose, under normal circumstances, things would have worked themselves out. But circumstances are/were not normal. Remember: Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae had to be taken-over by the US Government. In other words, the casino changed the rules. Instead of the US Government having to bail-out even more banks, it simply found a way to prevent all chips from being cashed.
Let me try to put that another worst-way. And keep in mind, this is purely worst-writer speculation and I ultimately have no idear what I’m writing about. #Nomatter.
There’s a reason that when you go into a casino you have to bet with chips. You go to the casino bank, give them your (real) money, they give you the chips. You then go around the casino and play whatever game you like, betting with your chips. You play blackjack, credit default swaps, craps, subprime mortgage blah, blah, etc., etc. When you’re done playing, you take all your chips, if you won, back to the casino bank and cash-in. In Deutsche Bank’s case, the casino (Wall Street) simply never let it cash-in its chips. And so. That makes me guess (speculate) that Deutsche Bank’s wrong-doing is a cover-up. It’s not a cover-up for the gambling, though. No. It’s all about covering-up, protecting, an insolvent American banking system–that no longer has enough money to cover gambling chips. It’s really that simple, dear worst-reader. DB won so much as the subprime casino crashed that it couldn’t get any money out of the casino bank–because there was/is no money there. Of course, the real joke is: all of these fines DB faces are literally taken out of the value of the chips that were never cashed in the first place.
Who owns you, baby? And once you finally answer that question, whether you’re a #MAGA moron or a tree-hugger genius, the future might just open up to you instead of being dark and dreary like the transplanted roots of #Trump’s pee-pee-hair. Or maybe not.
So here’s the thing, dear worst-reader. Have you seen the brilliant advert from the makers of some fancy-pants computer game that totally demolishes the universes greatest (most profitable) corporation and thereby turning corporate hierarchy into exactly what was going on back in 1984 but kinda upside-down, if not inside-out? I’m referring, of course, not to Orwell’s book, 1984, that so ingeniously, and obviously, predicted the end of my beloved & missed #Americant–as republicans and conservatives turn the country into a $hithole of suburban hell, newspeak, big-brother bat$hittery, etc. Indeed. I’m referring to the 1984 of Steve Job’s wet-dream that would become one of the most famous adverts of all-time. An advert that was supposed to show the world that Apple ain’t evil. But before I get too far off worst-subject.
One of the most astonishing things to this expat every time I would traverse the Atlantic to visit mother back in the new country (#Americant), was the reality of how the country was nothing if not a bastion of modern day corporate monopolisation run amok. By-the-buy, the word monopoly is pretty much synonymous with corporate, if not Econ-school newspeak’s: vertical industry. And so. Whether it’s your cable company, bank or grocery store, there are so few choices when it comes to how/what you consume, that it’s no wonder the country is stuck in an internal mind-battle of good and evil, right vs wrong, #MAGA hat or rational thought, etc. There are simply too few choices when it comes to consuming-to-survive, which means, ultimately, you’re value as a citizen is dependent on who/what sets that value. Capisce?
Of course, worst-writer can’t get too detailed about this sort of stuff on account I ain’t no economist, but instead I am just your average wannabe pseudo social scientist. (Or maybe not.) What is clear to me, in these times of greed-galore, is that even if you can make the case that there are a few cable companies or phone companies or banks, etc., that give the illusion of choice, it most certainly doesn’t contradict the idear that industry itself isn’t monopolistic. Take grocery stores, for example. Even though there are a few stores to choose from, the chickens and eggs that are sold there are from monopolies, hence vertical industry. But. Again. I’m probably getting into territory beyond my capacities. So let’s move on.
I for one was tickled to death when I first saw the vid above. Epic, the maker of the game Fortnite, nails it. I mean, why didn’t I think of it. As an Apple fanboy, I’ve been frustrated with the company’s direction for years. I hate how they have been turning my Mac into a device that only they can control. That’s the reason I’m not an iOS fan, btw. iPads are horrific to me in how the system is so shut off from the world. Now that Apple is turning Mac hardware into the same monolithic system, it’s quite possible that I will move to Linux in the near future. I’ve already replaced my home network Macs with Linux based SBCs. All of my media players, too, are on raspberry pi hardware–also because I can’t stand the idear of “subscription” music services, I won’t touch an Apple HomePod. But. Again. Allow me to die-gress.
Let’s break the video down, shall we? Epic Games rightly claims that it is Apple in 1984. Keep in mind, back then, Steve Jobs hated Apple’s main competitor: IBM. Almost identical to the original, here an animated female runs into the corporate conference room with big brother Apple on the screen telling the groupthink corporate automatons (of Silicon Valley): “…platform unification directives”. The female then releases her unicorn hammer into the screen, destroying it. As she walks out of the conference room we read the following:
Epic Games has defied the App Store monopoly. In retaliation, Apple is blocking Fortnite from a billion devices. Join the fight to stop 2020 from becoming “1984”.
Even though I’m not a gamer and have never even seen Fortnite, I’m all in regarding what they’re trying to do. This is yet another battle in the war of #Americant that has been suffering a long, slow death by a thousand little political (right-wing, Neo-liberal policy) cuts since Ronald Dip$hit Reagan filled peoples heads with subpar acting talent that can only be followed by the vulgarity of white trash reality TV in the form of President Orange Shit. And let’s not forget all the wars of choice that have sucked the life out of post WW2 middle class greed run amok. Has there ever been a generation so deserving of seeds sown! But, again, I die-gress.
The thing that bugs me the most about all this greed and one sided politics is how so many can’t see through the grift that is #Americant. It’s as though the pledge of allegiance or the star spangled banner was draped over the rotting corpse of your mother because something has to hide her murder and you’re just playing around with rainbow $hit fresh from a unicorns… But I die-gress.
When you’ve failed-upward this long and this far… it’s too late to face the/any truth–and thereby hope you can turn things around–as in turn things toward a better outcome. Blah. Blah. Blah. Or… That’s what’s missing from the recent and brilliant realisation from a billionaire claiming to have the answer(s) for all the fail-upwardness of the world (right now). Indeed. Check out the article and vid below, dear worst-reader. The second link below contains progressive commentary that might also be worth hearing. But don’t let it cloud your (mis)judgement.
A billionaire investor–that may or may not be on the correct side of the financialisation $hitshow most of us are forced to live in–said recently on a cable newz show (i.e. The Media) that it’s ok for Airlines to fail (i.e. go bankrupt) because by doing so they are then renewed by those who are more responsible. Or something like that. Not only is the video making the rounds on the Interwebnets because its tone is not quit radical right-wing and/or bat$hit business crazy, some are claiming it’s a meek-shall-inherit-the-earth-moment. As though us meek don’t have enough to worry about in these virus-zombie days, eh dear worst-reader? I mean. It’s nothing new for generation after generation to heed the call of (their) upbringing which ends up being nothing but a repeat and/or regurgitation of the past, i.e., fail upward #Americant. Hence, there can be no claim that capitalism, at its core, has anything to do with creativity–but it may have a bit more in common with the amateurism of hobbies. By-the-buy. Creativity is but a means to a financial end for Capitalists. You know. As in. Teeth ain’t for eating but instead for selling toothpaste. Anywho.
For the answer to everything is most certainly investing, ain’t that right, dear worst-reader? Ain’t that the only way to do things if all that’s left in the $hitshow is financialisation? And that, in essence, is all the talking heads are talking about. Or? At least that’s all they’re talking about in this/that part of The Media, i.e. the business media. On the other worst-hand, and as usual, what is being said is nothing new. It’s just wrapped in a different cloak/coat. Didn’t Mitt Romney say the same thing in 2008? You know, about bailing out the entire $hitshow as it was failing then? Ok. Ok. The guy in the video I’m including here is a bit different than Mitt. At the least, this new guy ain’t a bat$hit republican religious nut job. Or is he? #Nomatter.
The thing to remember about financialisation people is this. Mitt Romney wouldn’t be a billionaire today if it weren’t for the generation after generation of hand-me-down smart-assery of fail-upward parentage. So let’s be clear in all our unclarity. Mitt wanted GM to go bankrupt in 2008 so that he could continue his vulture capitalism ways (of the 1980s and early 90s) and thereby sell-off the #Americant companies in order to circumvent labour. That’s how he became a billionaire without actually EVER creating anything. This new financialisation guy, on the other hand, is a kind of anti-Mitt. He thinks that letting corporations fail means that new corporatists can join the bandwagon of the $hitshow and improve on previous failures. Even though this situation can be painted by either side of the political spectrum, I’m not sure which one is worst. The only thing that is clear to me is that one has fewer sharper teeth than the other and perhaps doesn’t know how best to sell toothpaste to the teethless.
Trying to figure out the linked article below, dear worst-reader. Sometimes I have that problem as I scan the Interwebnets being the info junky I am. And while some articles perturb me, others disturb me, this one kinda makes one side of me head glow as though I were the missing target of unicorns and their rainbow shooting liquid carbines. Either that. Or. This article is meant to get buyers to buy more APPL stock. Wait. Or could it be meant to get more suckers, like worst-moi, to buy more Apple stuff? Nomatter.
To worst-moi this is an interesting analogy. Comparing the value of a single company’s stock to the value of a country’s entire stock market… Well, I guess I wish I would have thought of that. But here’s the thing, dear worst-reader. Not only am I an Apple fan-boy but I’m also an expat that has been living in the #Eurowasteland tribe of Germania for almost thirty years. And so. Having some experience with the Huns, it’s a bit hard for me to swallow an article like this. Reason? Comparing a company that is the epitome of failupwards, free-for-all pseudo-capitalism, i.e. #Americant, where the manufacturing base has been completely decimated due to the political ignorance of voters, to a country that actually makes stuff (Germany is still a manufacture juggernaut), is a bit of a stretch. And all because of the price of… financial funny paper galore aka stock from a market that uses (stock) buy-backs in order to increase compensation packages of a bunch of compulsive behaviourist CEOs and and and…?
Or am I the only one noticing NOTHING from Apple is actually made in the (my) beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant? Wait. Is that the point that the article is trying to make? Or how ’bout this:
Designed in Cupertino, baby!
Yeah, #Americant corporatism has perhaps culminated in companies like Apple. But at what cost? I mean. Where do you think Apple would be (stock price) if it made products where workers had to actually be paid a living wage?
No. Seriously. Dear worst-reader. What could you get away with if there were no rules? For don’t you know, just the other day, I came across something that blew my mind. It was about getting away with things. Or was it about there being no rules (in life)? Nomatter. While scanning the news and perhaps listening to a podcast here or there, a rational human, who is proficient in the ways of the dark-arts better known as Economics, was going on and on about Neoliberalism. Out of the blue he said something along the lines of: Neo-liberals aren’t so much about small government and deregulation but instead they are about authoritarian government and re-regulation. Hold the presses! What did I just hear? Re-regulation…what? Talk about being thrown for a loop.
Yeah, I worst-thought. That’s it. That’s the word-game-link I’ve been missing for years regarding all worst-thought about what it is that makes/facilitates my beloved & missed #Americant, the land of FREE TO BE STUPID, post Ronald Reagan. #Americant politics in my life-time has never been about cutting and/or reducing government but instead it’s been about increasing it, infiltrating it in the name of a certain ideology, and then making it stealth so that an already dumb downed public won’t know the difference here or there as moneyed grubbers and their ilk get on about bidness that rides on the backs of others. And then, after they’ve done all that, thanks to the likes of Limbaugh and faux-newz, there is no such thing as deregulate, but there is/has been lots of re-regulate. Get it? No? It’s ok. Go back to your couch. A bag of chips is waiting. A favourite tv show! Or run off to your favorite third-world country where you can abuse women younger and stupider than you because, well, you’ve got a dollar or three in your pocket–and your mortgages are being paid by the military industry complex.
And that’s not what I wanted to get-on about today, dear worst-reader. Or is it? No. Today we want to get-on about some tech krapp–that is, perhaps, related in someway to re-regulation galore. Specifically, let’s have a go with smart-tech. For don’t you know, dear worst-reader, smart-tech ain’t and has never been what some may think it is. At the least it ain’t smart. Look where it’s from? It’s from the land of… that’s right. Regulate or deregulate or… Wait for it. Re-regulate. Indeed. The greed $hit$how that is my beloved and missed united mistakes of #Americant, in desperation to find more and more and easier and easier profits, is always hastily hoping to find the next hit, the next wunderkind, another Steve Jobs, albeit one without all the drugs, and in doing so, mega-unearned-profits ooze out of the ether like a stupid man’s religion.
In the last ten or twelve years I’ve consumed two refrigerators. Wait. Is that right? Yes. I’m on my second fridge which I bought within the last ten years. I think my mother has a fridge that is well over twenty years old. Nomatter. The first fridge I bought was an LG standalone1 fridge. It was a piece of shit. But it had some bells & whistles. You know. It had a water dispenser, a special beer rack, and an ice maker that would deliver three types of ice: whole, crushed or ice with smiley faces. The problem with the fancy fridge, though, was that within a year it started leaking at the bottom. I put up with it for a few years while having to put a towel underneath it to soak up the leak. And while it ruined the wood floors it stood on, I cursed it and this consume-to-survive life of hell I’m forced to live in. After that I bought a Liebherr fridge. It has no frills or bells and whistles but works great–and it doesn’t leak. So hang on a sec as I try to bring this post around to a cohesive subject.
Anyone remember that smart-fridge with the Windows 8 screen on the front door? I remember staring at the thing while buying that piece-of-shit LG fridge. “This can’t be good,” I thought as the sales guy pitched me about a fridge being a IoT device for the home. “You want this thing to hook up to my home wifi,” I asked. “Sure,” was his response. Little did he know that I had worked at the end of the Dotcom boom for a company that created a tool that allowed online retailers to parse URLs and thereby alleviate the need for cookies and still track users. Wonder what happened to that company. Nomatter. And let me not even get into the experience of buying my last flatscreen TV and how I tried to tell a salesman to stop trying to sell it as a “smart” device. “There’s no such thing as a “smart” device,” I said. “And IoT is gonna bomb,” I added. Yeah, the lie of IoT sucks as much as IoT sucks. Which brings me to…
I’ve solved both my fridge and TV problem. How? I bought devices that are not “smart”. But then the “smart” speaker thing hit. Or were you not impressed with Sonos when it first hit the market, dear worst-reader? I was most certainly impressed. Reason? I was sick & tired of multi-speaker surround systems. I had fiddled with them for years. More on that here. The main reason I never bought Sonos, though, was simple. IoT sucks! And. As soon as I looked at the software controlling the Sonos speakers, I knew it wasn’t for me. Like the smart-fridge or the smart-TV, these things are not in a anyway regulated and yet they are a total and complete compromise to my home network system. Above and beyond that, I have absolutely no control over the software that makes them work. I’ve long since adopted open source in my life. But that’s another worst-post.
Not only was Sonos charging delusional prices for stuff that should have cost a third their price, there is no waaaaaaay that they would be able to maintain the software if they were creating a device that was supposed to compete (mimic) what someone would/could own for half a life time. I’m worst-writing, of course, about the product life span of speakers and stereo systems. Obviously Sonos put marketing before product. It probably also thought it could mimic Steve Jobs’ success with having done the same thing. But. Again. The problem is, playing with computers isn’t the same as sitting down and listening to music. Sonos tried to make something smart that was already way beyond the marketing hype. Long story short. I knew at the get-go from Sonos that it would have a problem in the future maintaining speakers as it also tried to improve the customer experience. Lo and behold, Sonos recently announced that its solution for that experience. Again. Dear worst-reader. We are at a cross-road of forced corporate obsoletism.
Indeed. This is what happens when sales guys run the greed $hit$how. Or am I the only one to have given up on Microsoft as soon as that whack-job took over after Bill Gates? Nomatter. Although Sonos was/is a great idear, it was/is doomed to fail on account, well, the software that makes those speakers function sucks bat-balls.
Updating upgrading hardware software = can only lead to forced obsoletism of older devices3
What do you do when competition starts to kick your ass?4
To this day Sonos speakers can’t play FLAC files5.
Worst-writing about companies that are run into the ground because ship builders shouldn’t sail ships–or–sailors shouldn’t build ships… Here’s yet another example of it. Boy am I glad I never bought Sonos speakers. Lesson to be learned? You betcha! Can anyone say Boeing?
As worst-writer has always worst-said: the rarest commodity (product worth anything) within not just The Corporation but the corporate mindset… is creativity. For it is the one huuuuuge element, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, that the rest of us must endure if/when all-things go haywire or, possibly, shoot us to the heavens. When it goes haywire, like a seething wound, bound by thick puss on the verge of hardening–but never quite hardening enough–the minions of a corporate and neo-fascist world wait in the wings entertained or disgusted–all in the name of shareholder value. But don’t get me wrong, dear worst-reader. There are a few cases of gallant corporate effort. Steve Jobs comes to my worst-mind, don’t you know. Even though I would never have wanted to work with/for him, I’m a big fan on account he was able to take his crazies to new levels and thereby quite literally change the world. Carlos Ghosn, on the other hand, is quite the opposite when it comes to being a creative corporatist. Or am I wrong? For he did come up with a pretty keen way of escaping Japanese corporate $hitbag justice. If the story is true, see link below, he escaped bat$hit corporate Japanese justice by hiding in a musical instrument case and then hopping on a private jet that managed to sneak him out of a country without showing his freaking passport. That alone should get him arrested anywhere in the world. But let’s not mix hairs here, or? Like most corporatists, the man got away with it with no consequences. Just like so many others. Talk about golden parachutes.
Even though I wouldn’t have put it quite the way he did, I’m diggin’ Bill Maher’s good-riddence to David Koch the other night (see vid link below). When is the other Koch brother gonna pass, is the only question that remains–at least for worst-moi. Then again, there are a lot more Koch-types in the wings, eh? Nomatter.
I can’t remember how many books I’ve read that mentioned the destructive brilliance of the politics that is the Koch brothers. Whether it’s massive funding for right-wing, bat$hit think-tanks, buying university economics departments so as to teach generations how to NOT think but instead behave–as in do what you’re told and question nothing–or whether it’s to promote the inherited moneyed status-quo that is #Americant. Why is it that these guys are so powerful? Oh wait. Welcome to modern #Americant where you have to have a lot of THE LAND OF FREE TO BE STUPID to make things happen.
So there’s that.
I have a bit of a different take on the Koch brothers. It’s obvious that this family is the epitome of old money and that they are one among many such families. But there’s something else that makes them tick. As you may or may not know, the Koch brothers inherited everything. Nothing that they have, they made themselves. Even though they are accredited with university credentials and supposedly are considered great masters of business, the fact remains, of their industry, all that they own, they have done nothing new or innovative. They are rich because they found a way, perhaps better than any other inheritors, to protect the interests that their father gave to them. Interests, by-the-buy, that are stuck in a past that won’t die. You would think, with so much wealth given to a person, that you could at least try and apply it to something worthy of the future–especially if/when the patriarchy dies. Yet the Koch brothers whole heartily remained in that patriarchy.
Obviously there is little room in this phase of capitalism run-amok for change, innovation or anything new. How else could misconstrued politics end up with the likes of #Trump. Yet I can’t help but laugh at all those #Americants that enable this level of dysfunction–all in the name of greed, spite, bigotry and abuse. Indeed. Not only should Bill Maher make a joke about the painful death of one man who has lived a life of greed-galore but he should also start joking more about all those who keep this $hitshow going.
When did it begin in my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant, dear worst-reader? When did the obsession to consume-to-survive through the happy monetary machine of plastic begin? When did that little plastic card replace hard earned cash someone’s grandparents slaved for–or wheel barrelled into a bakery in Berlin in 1923 to buy bread? I mean, we all know when the greed $hit$how began, right? You know, the $hit$how where you can and must live above and beyond your means–so that you are always beholden to some/one/thing else. Yeah, baby. #Americant indeed.
Go with the following worst-thoughts for a sec, eh, dear worst-reader.
I’m worst-guessing, off the top of my worst-head, that the fascination with systematic consumer loan-sharking, or the credit card industrial complex, as a means for nation-state consumption, began in the seventies. Why the seventies? Well, by the end of the sixties, the powers-that-be realised that it was time to shift the costs of war-mongering, from which they had oh-so profited, onto the backs of something or someone else, otherwise the $hit was gonna hit the fan again–just like it did in 1929. And so. Now that the great wars-of-need were over all that was left was the creation of Empire through minor wars-of-want1 (aka wars of choice). While the military industrial complex was taking advantage of The Stupid (the riff-raff), the lords of commerce were diligently getting rid of that other burden that was in the way of über profits galore: labour. These two things put together are a potent poison, don’t you know. All that’s needed to get them both out of the way are a bunch of willing suckers, i.e. a huge consumer base that can only culminate in #MAGA. Yeah, baby. Let the riff-raff (The Stupid) pay from now on–and they will. You want a car? Well, good for you sucker. Good thing getting a car is never about the actual price of the thing. No. It’s about what they can get you to pay for that car per month–for the rest of your fcuking life. You want a computer or a smartphone? Pay 23.99% interest while you pay monthly for it, even while that device is manufactured for obsoletism in less than two years, because that’s the way it is, sucker. And not only let them, the riff-raff, pay, but let’s make them also pay double or triple with political capital, too. Enter Faux-Newz (early 1990s) and an industry of propaganda that is making Joseph Goebbels cream his deadman rotten shorts. Yeah, that is the power of misconstrued patriotism mixed with greed and spite and hate and bigotry and and and….
Wait a sec. Am I on about credit cards yet?
The reason for credit-cards as a means to consume was required because someone thought new & improved great wars must be avoided at all cost. Banking and finance in the sixties wasn’t as devious as it is today and thereby couldn’t simply jimmy and screw and dazzle The Stupid (the riff-raff) with interest rates. The powers-that-be were all still frightened out of their minds by the concept/reality of inflation, socialism and it all mixed with an informed riff-raff (the not-so stupid?) that would not only jump from skyscrapers in NYC but also rise up with AK-47’s disguised as pitchforks and then go around mass-shooting everybody and everything in El Paso, Dayton, Columbine, Las Vegas, etc., etc. As we all now know, the fun & games with interest rates, to prevent not only hyper-inflation but also stock market crashes and great wars, would be a long term game. So too would the AK-47 slash pitchfork phenomenon carried by the by-product of Dr. Americant Frankstein. Wow. Little did anyone know how willing the riff-raff (The Stupid) would become in this game, eh. Welcome to #MAGA.
But I wanted to get on about credit-cards.
Oh, how I remember those American Express commercials in the late 70s. And what ever happened to Diner’s Club? Why is it that I always think of Benihana restaurants when I think of consuming-to-survive back in the day when it was exotic to pay for anything with a plastic card? Elitism hits you young, don’t you know. It was the aura of the times, eh? Not unlike the lore of travel. High-end products. Airports and luxury. Being serviced by people who at least acted like they were interested. Pan Am. The TV show Mad Men reminded me of those days. But wait. I’m getting off subject again.
As of early 2019 I’m finally allowed to use Apple Pay as a means to consume-to-survive. I mean, it’s kinda like a credit card, right? At least it’s attached to Visa, I think. It’s been a long time waiting, dear worst-reader. The long wait has something to do with Germania’s banking system. I mean, it’s not like The Huns needed other means to enable the purchase of $hit. Their EC-Card system, which is basically nothing more than a debit-card system directly attached to your bank account, i.e without the third-party enablers like Visa, M/C & co., actually works pretty great. The only problem with it is, well, in order to have the coolness of something like Apple Pay, the bank would have to enable a third party to make it happen–which greedy little Huns don’t want to have to pay for in the form of fees. Hence, since expatriating to the Germanin tribe of #Eurowasteland so many years ago, I guess I’ve been waiting secretly to finally run up a credit card bill to see if/how they repossess me for over-draw galore. Has that secret day finally arrived with ApplePay? Not quite.
Although Apple Pay has been available in Germania since around 2017, my bank turned it on at the beginning of this year. It took me till two months ago to finally set it up on my iPhone and, of course, my AppleWatch. After that it took a few more weeks before I had the guts to actually use it. Now that it’s working, I don’t want to pay with anything else. The only problem is, The Huns are still a bit behind in making it available everywhere. I mean, wouldn’t it be cool if those stuck-up Bier servers at those great Bier halls could take payment with just a click from my watch? Or, if I need a train/tram ticket, wouldn’t it be great to just flash my phone at the ticket dispenser? And what about being able to use it in those houses of il-repute? You know, where most German males have to go in order to get some relief from being married… you guessed it… to a fcuking German female. Oh wait. Banks the world over have issues with financial transactions and… houses of il-repute, don’t you know. Yeah, cash-only still works.
The good news is: don’t worry; at this point in my worst-life, I don’t have to worry about credit. Not much into hookers anymore either. I’ve long since learned to live within my means–and I’m no longer ashamed of relieving both my balls and my prostate through other left-handed means. And although I consume-to-survive a lot of material $hit, especially tech gadgets, I think I’m pretty prudent when it comes to spending. The drive/need to exercise my prostate is also waning. Still, it would be cool to finally have a bit more payment modernity in the old country and to wait-n-see if a hot-chick repossessor rings my door-bell wearing porn clothing and carrying a bottle of that lube found in Osama Bin Laden’s bedroom at his last Pakistani stand.
But I should really really really move on now.
Using Apple Pay got me thinking about my brethren in my beloved & missed #Americant. For one thing–and get this, dear worst-reader–I haven’t had a revolving credit card for almost thirty years. For another thing, in the Germania economy, revolving credit ain’t a consume-to-survive necessity. People here have spendable income through both savings and earnings. And so. When I hear things from President Stupid that the economy in my beloved & missed #Americant is doing great but then read about how much debt is held by the Riff-raff… Come on. For the life of me, I have no idear how/why so many people subject themselves to the whims of #Americant loan sharking. I mean, is it so hard to live within your means–as opposed to charging everything until the repossessor comes or you just pay every month after month on that revolving, interest laden account for the rest of your life? Would I too be as bitter as #Americants are today–and thereby resort to drugs and violence and disarray–if I had to afford something less than this fancy, jewellery MacBook that I’m typing on now–and/or lose patients for 3pm to arrive where I can finally poor that first Gin?
And while doing all this useless, worst contemplation about all the suckers (the riff-raff) that enable and facilitate #Americant, while enjoying the fact that I finally have a modern western world form of payment in the old country, I happened across the new-fangled AppleCard’s user agreement–which, for goodness sake, no one knows when it will be available here. Anywho. The user agreement kinda threw me for a loop, don’t you know–even though I’m no where near possessing it but instead reading the rules & reg regarding a form of monetary payment made out of titanium that is obviously waaaaay cool. Whaaaaa? It has no numbers on it either. It only as the owners name on it and, of course, the emblem of the corporate elitism so many (worst-moi included?) espouses. Is this the next future of modern payment I’m waiting for?
First, did you know that AppleCard is nothing but a Goldman Sachs master-card credit card? Whaaaaa? Second, get a load of those interest rates. I mean. Goldman doesn’t even tickle you a bit here. Nor do they give you a small, slight, conduit kiss… before they get right into how they’re going to fcuk you with interest rates. I mean, come on. Are you serious? 13-24% interest rates, dear worst-reader? What idiot pays this $hit? Then something else hit me. I’ve been gone so long. I’ve been so far away from the essence that is my beloved & missed #Americant–i.e. credit-card and working poor mayhem–that I completely misplaced somewhere deep in my worst-psyche what it is people must be going through and hence only the worst of the worst of human behaviour can be the result. No wonder you’all are killing each other and no one can figure out why nor can anything be done about it.
Don’t get me wrong here, dear worst-reader. I’m no conspiracy theorist. I know that there is no single group of men (powers-that-be?) that sit around in a star chamber and hammer out a plan to screw the world. Yet, what is it that makes people accept 13-24% interest rates on doing the only thing that anyone can/should/must do to survive in the West today? Sure, the other parts of the Goldman Sachs AppleCard are a pretty good deal. There’s no transaction fees, no penalty fees, blah, blah, blah. But then the card is going to be an elite card, right? A very controlled bunch of people are gonna get it, right? You know, like American Express once was elite. Or Diner’s Club. By-the-buy, I could never get a Diner’s Club card and I only briefly was able to get an American Express card through an employer once–which I no longer have nor would I touch with a ten foot penis.
And that’s not the worst of it. What the fcuk is a Credit Bureau? Yeah, that’s the $hit that registered with me when I read the corporate user agreement. It’s bad enough that #Americants enable idiotic politicians that only favour rich people but it’s another thing when they also enable the scammers? Wait. What am I saying? They just elected a scammer as President. Ok. Ok. All politicians are scammers. But Pee-Pee-Hair #Trump is a scammer of a whole ‘nother order, or? And on top of that, there is the scam of having to rely on credit in order to consume-to-survive but to get credit you first have to go through a credit bureau, which is privately owned, that makes or breaks your credit reliability which then determines how much interest you pay for having or not having an elite credit card, and then, you know, paying between 13-24% interest….
Jesus fcukin‘ christ!
Come on #Americant. You are a country of scams. Everything is a scam. And why the fcuk did I buy this Apple computer in January in Europe where these things are even more expensive than, say, tax free Delaware? Oh wait. It cost, like, 1400,-€ but I paid cash for it. So I guess I’m not being totally scammed cause I had the fcuking cash to pay for it…. Fcuk!
Credit bureaus, people. Credit bureaus, or credit rating agencies, are an industry. What should be something more akin to a utility is instead a private, profit making industry owned by a few people with the help of more shareholders. Indeed. Like so many others, they took one scam industry to make another scam industry and when will the next scam industry happen? But wait. You also took a guy with pee-pee-hair and gave him the highest elected office of scammer-ville. Yeah, this makes sense, now don’t it. This is #Americant galore, baby. THE LAND OF FREE TO BE STUPID.
Reading through the customer agreement document for the new titanium AppleCard got me riled, dear worst-reader. It got me riled because, well, even though I’ve been an expat for almost thirty years–and I’ve only recently received the privilege of being able to pay for $hit with a modern form of payment–the most shocking thing is how nothing has changed back home. As backwards as things are in #Eurowasteland, everything has gotten über-worst in my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant. I suppose this document only re-emphasised the fact that, for worst-moi, there’s no return. Not because I don’t want to go back but instead because I don’t know how I would deal with so much STUPID. Either that or I wouldn’t be able to buy anything anyway on account, well, I’ve got no credit.
Beyond all the compulsive behaviourism–so many call work or career or achievement–that I’ve successfully avoided all these years, there’s a few things in the greed $hit$how that stick with me and have, of course, left me skewed. Perhaps these things are stigmatising and pursuant of all my/the ill-will towards the world and all things that be, yet I’ve learned to live with them like so many of you have learned to live with yours. You know, the slime, the residue, the crumbs left behind that wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the sight of the lumpenproletariat consuming it (all). For it is something that must be seen. And so.
As the world turns, all that’s left is to… let’s make a deal. For that is the new way of doing things, ain’t it? Especially considering a man like #Trump can cum so far in life and yet be blessed with so little. Indeed. That’s where we are, dear worst-reader. Us deal-makers. Right smack-dab in the middle of a hell-hole made up of greed and ignorance–i.e. the bell-pepper of ringing tunes that steer the mind’s eye into the pauper-hand of mendacity galore.
Let us gorge ourselves on it, shall we. Like no other there is so much to be had–and so much for you to give the likes of your #Trump. Or is the jail-cell where Jeffrey Eppstein, trying so unsuccessfully, albeit deservedly, to kill himself (wishful thinking, eh), becomes too much for even you/me to face as we judge his existence next to our own? Because the deal has been made, has it not, dear worst-reader? Now that so few can realise such a deal forevermore doesn’t mean we can’t own it. Yeah. Let’s own it–since we’ll own nothing else.
Let’s finally move on, eh.
One of the skewed deals in my life, other than marriage and/or too much penetration, took place about twenty years ago. Yes. It was just a few years before embracing all the/my forced early retirement. I was with wife number two or three or whatever at a summer company grill party (her company, not mine). Part of the entertainment for the day, beyond the consumption of brats and packaged potato salad, was an auction to raise money for the company. I know. I know. Why would a company have a grill party to raise money for itself? Indeed. So much for the failure that capitalism has become, eh. But let’s not get too far off subject.
The idear for the auction was a bit unconventional. Employees were supposed to bring a toy which in turn would be bid on but whoever won the bid wouldn’t get the toy. The toy was subsequently donated to a local, struggling Kindergarten. Keep in mind, dear worst-reader, this was at a time when Germania, mostly Western Germania, was in full confusion mode due to the cost of integrating East Germania into the capitalist fold (of the West). One of the really, really great things about East Germania was their Kindergarten system. Since wife number so-n-so was also the only one to produce something worthwhile out of all the/my penetration, that in turn showed me the struggle of acquiring a Kindergarten spot, it was more than relevant I participate in this/the charade–or is it, in current parley, deal? Of course, the other part of the charade/deal was that the money raised would go back to the company. And there you have it. An example, if there’s ever been one, that proves you are living in a con and/or one should never marry for love. But let’s move on.
Obviously the auction was a joke. Of course, for the careerist, there is no choice but to participate in the/that joke as we all do at some point or other in this/that life. But then something happened just as I began to chomp down on my second grilled brat. An object appeared in the auction and guess what. I wanted it. Since everybody knew that it didn’t matter how much you bid on an object, it was also obvious that there was no point in counter-bidding. Yet, immediately after I submitted my bid, one of my wife-number-so-n-so’s colleagues offered up a counter bid. I was like: “WTF, dude!” He smirked and smiled and hid away his motivation. As usual, as an #Americant living and participating in the budding #Eurowasteland nightmare, I let it pass–and not only because of an impending divorce and the man that most likely caused it. So I immediately called him out for breaking the un-bespoke rule of the $hit$how game. “Foul,” I yelled. The small crowd of compulsives (careerists) all turned to me while swallowing half-chewed brats. I could see it in their over-educated and under-employed eyes, don’t you know. They were all saying: what’s the point? The point is, I wanted that object I bid on and felt that it was my right, due to historical enlightenment or not, to have it. So I countered the counter bid. And the game ensues.
Long worst-story short, I eventually won the auction and grabbed the object and left the party–breaking all the rules. Wife so-n-so and I fought over her embarrassment until I butt fucked her one last time before divorcing and that was that. Yet I remember the auction to this day as I read about the goings and cummings of this new world order that so many compulsive behaviourists can’t seem to break free from. Oh, how they all love the auction of their lives.
Which begs the question:
Can anyone see the great deal-scam they’ve bought into?
The great deal-scam may or may not be an auction, don’t you know, like the one I participated in so long ago, but if they are not totally inept to reality, it is a deal-scam all the same. Considering the current state of affairs of my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant, is it a complete boggling of mental capacity to assume that they (the compulsives) will never stop? As in: yeah, dumbass, you’re fcukednomatter what happens. And beyond that, you’re kids and grandkids are probably fcuked as well. Yeah, baby.
All this fcuking is going on because a few dumbasses that managed to elect the likes of Barry-O are incapable of un-electing #Trump. Or are they all just waiting for the fcuking to start happening to #Trump? Now that’s the ticket, ain’t it, dear worst-reader? Yeah. Let’s see if the tentacle-slime that made #Trump and his/our deal-scam will actually turn on and rip him to shreds on account, well, being stupid should be a crime, too.
Is it time yet, dear worst-reader? Time to start trademarking worst-writer? How bout I also trademark one of my other favourites: #Americant? And what about my use of the word fcuk? What? That’s not a word? Come now, come now. Of course it’s a word, don’t you know. It’s a word because, well, the powers-that-be make it so. You know, they make it so through their use of hypocrisy, bigotry and hate–all part of the mechanism that so well facilitates the way things are. Hate (and all the above), fyi, is the basis of all-things conservative in these times of Kavanaugh, #Trump and, of course, minds hell-bent by Limbaugh & Co. Indeed. The powers-that-be, after recent #SCOTUS decision involving some dushbag clothes maker who thinks he’s creative (or something like that) by giving his brand a kind of counter-counter culture name that sounds like the past participle of the word f*$k, seems to think they’re OK with certain words–as long as those words will never interfere with their power. And that’s the ticket, ain’t it, baby? At least that’s the ticket as I worst-see it.
While on the subject of conservative dushbags, what will this recent #SCOTUS decision mean for an up-and-coming rock band–that I only recently discovered while reading somewhat deeper into the issue–that also uses a kind of counter-counter culture name? That name? Thunderpussy. And what a name, eh! Or am I splitting hairs here claiming that a dushbag clothes maker, using the word Fuct (past participle of the f-word?) as a brand name, which is now sanctioned by the highest corrupt court in the LAND OF FREE TO BE STUPID, is the same as a rock-n-roll band that clairvoyantly saw the future when they picked their name? I’m referring to a future, of course, that would end up with the likes of President Stupid and his grab them by you-know-what. I mean, Thunderpussy was founded, according to their wiki page, before President Stupid decided to grace us with his presence and thereby show the world the true, ugly, disgusting face, including piss-hair, of #Americant.
I’m sure Thunderpussy is elated with the #SCOTUS decision. Why would they even care how freedom of expression is enabled as long as, just like the dushbag clothes maker, they can make a buck or three with what it is they do? Yet somehow worst-moi is less enthusiastic about the whole deal. Reason? Simple. In this world there are dushbag clothes makers and there are also really, really fantastic rock bands that are playing on the/a/my past on account, well, in music, since, let’s say the nineties, there has been very little creativity1.
There’s no doubt in my worst-mind that the arbitrators of #Americant one-sided law are up to no good these days–nomatter what/how they interpret law. Several recent #SCOTUS decisions may even have some people thinking they are a bit outside whatever immoral compass guides them, i.e. moneyed interests galore. That worst-said, I think what #SCOTUS has been doing since Kavanaugh is a rues the conservative majority is playing so as to prepare (go get some butter) #Americant for what they really intend: total and complete authoritarian rule based on money and immorality galore, i.e. the #Americant way, baby.
Forgive my prejudices here. The/my reality is, I rarely consume music anymore on account, for me, raised in the sixties and seventies, there simply has been no music worth consuming for most of the past twenty or so years. If this is the result of lack of creativity or the likes of iTunes & Co., so be it. Still. I really dig a few new bands like Thunderpussy, Greta Van Fleet and if it weren’t for Grunge, I would have consumed absolutely nothing in the nineties. But on that note, I die-gress. ↩︎
Disclaimer: NSFW material towards the end of this worst-post.
I dreamt of waking in a cold sweat. But then quickly fell asleep again only to dream of a place from twenty years ago where a large blonde woman stands behind me while I sit at a desk attempting to research the hell out of finding the cost of everything so that our client can cheat his way to profits. Yeah. I worked for a $hitbag management consulting company once or twice. It still grinds my conscience. You know, those organisations that never actually do anything but suck the life out of people convincing them that cutting costs for clients is an achievement. Sometimes I’m still shocked at how naive I was. For don’t you know, dear worst-reader, even well into my thirties I took the krapp-work laid out for me in stride as I wasted my best years on the two ills of life: working for The Man and, of course, his bitch, marriage. But at least, in this end, I did learn that both (work & marriage) are nothing but a transaction. And transactions can and should end or be left behind us as one learns new strides on the way to his or her end. Indeed. They should all end especially when it’s realised that you’ve lived your life for someone else, for something else, for the nothingness that is consume-to-survive. But I suppose I’m off subject.
Last night’s/this morning’s dream-in-a-dream has been haunting me lately having had it several times in the past few weeks. I think I’ve finally gotten it out of my system. I mean, I don’t think I’ll be having it again. Reason? I’ve discovered the thing that’s motivated it. In other worst-words, it’s the lying and the cheating that’s catching up to my conscience. It’s slowly being laid out in front of me–as I watch The West deteriorate further and further into blissful-ignorance galore. Or is it laid out in front of my therapist? Nomatter.
The thing is, I’m starting to be good with it all (my past) now because, well, I was able to see through it and then realise it’s time to move on. Yes. It took a while. But it’s happened. Unlike so many other things.
What the big blonde woman is actually doing in my dream-dreams is not watching over me like a corporate sage watching over a minion, thereby protecting someone’s profits, position or stature. No. She’s instead watching over me as I cheat. Again. Keep in mind. She is a minion above my minion-hood. And so. The research I’m doing in the dream-dreams isn’t about finding our clients competition’s cost structure. No. It’s about finding ways to lie. But lie to whom? Which brings us, dear worst-reader, to the links below.
Today’s newz links are about the two biggest lies that seem to never lead to truth. I mean, isn’t that what lies are about? In other worst-words, lying isn’t about the lie. No. It’s about the truth. The two lies that make up the duality of life and death are simple enough. One is nature (climate) and the other is corporatism (run amok). But let’s get back to the dream-dreams, blondes in corporate pants suits and and and, shall we.
When I read articles like the two linked below, I can’t help but associate them with my dreams within dreams (dream-dreams) that I’m either having or may eventually have. Perhaps that has something to do with all the lying I did in my short-stinted career as a corporate stooge. What lie, you ask. Well, my lies were always quite simple really. Once when I applied for a new albeit internal job at one of the many jobs I jumped, I asked a higher ranking colleague if she would have a look at my resume and then give any advice. The problem for me back then was, I did the work of PHDs. It was easy, don’t you know. For you see, back then, the globalisation greed-$hitshow was just getting under way. Corporate leadership hadn’t weened enough of the under-educated workforce yet to coerce real PHDs to lower their expectations, i.e their value. In other worst-words, PHDs were still too expensive. Corporate leaders therefore salivated all over people like me. Obviously without the proper credentials I couldn’t demand PHD wages but I must admit that I got pretty close once. Obviously things have changed as I write this twenty or so years later. Now PHDs are indeed a dime-a-dozen–and I even giggle at them every once-a-once on account, although they have their credentials, none of them have ever been able to realise what they’ve done. But on that note I should digress.
By the time I was forty years old, I had written more words than any PHD in the history of the world. It’s true. Just check my closet for manuscripts, ghost-writing and old corporate presentations. And don’t even think twice about all the consulting reports I’ve written that are locked in vaults at various clients. Yet, as the globalisation advantage for shareholders was just starting to take hold, I confused my ability to write–or my ability to write a shit load of bullshit–with actually achieving something. In fact, I was doing nothing. But let me ask you, dear worst-reader, should we minions question the fruit of our labour? Again. Nomatter.
My problem was, although I was writing stuff for others to publish, I still wasn’t published. Back to internal job seeking and, hopefully, blondes in corporate pants suits.
The blonde standing over my shoulder in my dream-dreams was actually coaching me on how to lie on my resume so that I could get a better job. That sort of thing is always cloaked in something else in the corporate world, don’t you know. As in finding cost structures of your competitors, which was just one of my many PHD-non-PHD tasks. Nowadays I’m not quite sure what they’re all up to on account, well, obviously, there ain’t much competition out there. Monopolised, monolithic organisations don’t have to worry much about competitors costs. There’s no competition. But they do need to cheat on other things. So there’s that. I guess.
When I questioned Blondie about what she was suggesting I put on my resume she simply said it is what everybody does and then added: it’s called tweaking. And so. I think of all the wasted college credits that run free through the world never realising their owners incapabilities, incompetence, mendacity, etc. Such is college in this new & improved century, eh? But they HAVE played somebody’s game well. Isn’t that obvious? The corporatists. They’ve played it, in fact, much better than I have. Perhaps that is a catalyst to all my dream-dreams. Am I jealous of all the fruit they’ve acquired for their labour? And that’s the ticket, ain’t it, dear worst-reader? All the college grads running the $hitshow, especially in my beloved & missed #Americant, are, at best, tweakers–not achievers. In the olden days, I guess, they were just cheaters. Weird how what goes around comes around, eh? Hence #Trump is such an obvious achiever… (giggle, smirk, fart, puke)
That’s one of the reasons I haven’t worked for the last twenty years–and then have odd but relevant dreams about dreams. Or is it dreams within dreams? Anywho.
It was that last resume that I ever formulated and the last time I would let someone watch over my shoulder, tweaking not just me but all of corporatism. Indeed. I realised: I can’t do this anymore. Of course, eventually, the blonde had her way with worst-moi. Yeah, that sort of thing happened a lot in my youth. Even though she wasn’t a looker, she had the right shade of pale and smooth skin. She was fifteen pounds over weight, too. That said, I kinda like ’em big. As far as romping goes, one nipple was larger than the other and both sat high on her bosom, which were quite large and extruding with heavy, gleaming under-boob. That always gave me more wood. She also didn’t mind ejaculate on her face and even told me to finish in her mouth after each romp. Even though we used protection, I assumed that such a request was so that she would be sure to not endanger her current career path with unwanted procreation via my sketchy supply of prophylactic. Or maybe not. She even blew me in her office early one morning where I failed to tell her that she still had me in her hair–twelve or so hours later. I guess a few colleagues assumed she had chunky dandruff. And so. While my marriage was ending and the realisation that I was a bad choice-maker (in life) was hitting me as hard as I was fcuking her, going back for seconds and fourths, there was one consolation within me. I was yet to be fully corrupted by it all. Again: I can’t do this anymore. Luckily, eventually, inevitably, she told me that I was boring and that I’ll regret not having taken her resume advice–but I was welcome to call if ever in town again–which is corporate code for “good luck with your career”. She giggled as best as anyone who had nothing to lose and then went about her corporatism. And so. We both said goodbye amicably. Just like the way I said goodbye to my marriage and my ill-fated corporate career. So many goodbyes well worth it.
The dream-dreams are alive and well, dear worst-reader. They are with everyone that can’t see through the rigamarole of things like what’s presented in the articles below. Even though the articles do tell a truth about something very specific, the larger lie that we all live in–or should I say you’all live in–on account I found a way out of the lie–and that makes me better than you–something is missing. So I’m wondering if the lies have become so abundant, so large, so catastrophic, there is no room for truth anymore. There are only the dream-dreams and the corporate blondes worth a fcuk or three. Wow. Life’s a hoot, eh.
What are your fav four-Rs, dear worst-reader? What? Don’t have any? Well go there, then. It’s not hard, you know. All you have to do is spend some time in the arena of news. Of course, I spend most of my time in the left-wing news arena. But that’s obvious, ain’t it? Reason? Right-wing newz is just insulting. You know, as in insulting to my über-intelligence. Or am I the only one that can barely stomach a few seconds of anything faux-newz? In fact, I haven’t watched more than ten minutes of CNN in a decade. And CNN used to be kinda fair and unbiased (20 yrs ago). I don’t really know what’s happened to that network. Nomatter. And so… I rely heavily on the #interwebnets for my news (not newz). In fact, I’ve got a nice little bookmark folder of news URLs I visit daily. Hopefully the corresponding screenshot above doesn’t reveal too much about my mis-personality and/or lackadaisical bias towards trying to get informed. It’s just, here’s my thing about newz v news: I can judge for myself if it’s newz or news. Beyond that I’ve got quite a few URLs memorised, as well. I also rely heavily on news aggregators–which I’m guessing are going to be more and more regulated in the future if #eurowasteland, more on that here. Yet there is something out there that is starting to bother me about the (liberal) news. It starts with the likes of Joe Biden, don’t you know. Here’s a recent short worst-post about him. The thing is, why is this old white guy still in the newz/news? Didn’t he have his heyday as Vice President to Barry-O? I mean, when is enough-enough for guys like this? Why is it that these types of men can’t just fade away? Why do they have to drag us all down along with them–as though an entire ignoramus population were sitting on a doomed Boeing 737 Max-8–by fcuking choice. Indeed. That’s what worst-writer is pseudo-comparing today. The old guard that never dies and criminal corporate activity of a pseudo-capitalist entity that should join it–in death. I mean, come on, dear worst-reader. Am I once again the only one that thinks/knows the compulsive behaviourism of pseudo-corporate leaders at the top of a company like Boeing should be held criminally liable for recent wasted life on two of their planes that could have been prevented if there weren’t so much FREEDOM TO BE STUPID running the grand $hitshow that is my beloved & missed united mistakes of #Americant? At the least they should be charged with manslaughter! These a$$holes literally avoided making the product safe so that they could sell a plane cheaper and cheaper and cheaper. And so. #Americants could get rid of Biden & Co. and at the same time get rid of the incompetent behaviourist (for work is no longer work it is behaviourism) cock$uckers running $hitbag monopolies making un-earning shareholders more and more and more riches and thereby creating, enhancing, facilitating a system of mis-government that is/can be only #Americant.
(Deep breath:) What’s wrong with journalism is not the fakeness or the fake-newz but how it simply gets things wrong on account those practicing it (journalism) aren’t really journalist but if they are they are journalists of a new era where journalism isn’t the same as it used to be because now those who pay “journalists” don’t want things said or written that would OUT the payers. (Breath.)
Actually, to be honest, the guy that wrote the Buzzfeed article (linked to below) kinda scares me. Here’s why:
“Due to the way algorithm changes made earlier this year interacted with the fierce devotion in France to local and regional identity, the country is now facing some of the worst riots in many years — and in Paris, the worst in half a century.” -Source: some buzzfeed pseudo journalist who doesn’t deserve to be named.
It is matter-of-factly explained (in the whole article) to an obviously imbecilic audience (#Americants?) what’s going on in France because of Facebag. Like most neo-liberals–or those stuck in the lie-of-the-mind of fail-upwards-ness, i.e. compulsive behaviourists, the uncreatives and automatons, generation after generation that has never grown out of the shadows of not only their parents but the ills created by those same parents–try to connect the chaos in Paris with a social-media platform made up of those who don’t know the difference between WWE, reality and the inside of a fresh but empty Cheetos bag. For indeed, don’t you know, dear worst-reader, Facebag is the best example yet of…
INTERNET FOR STUPID PEOPLE.
People wearing yellow (emergency vests) and doing what all free people should be doing when trying to oppose economic oppression and class-tyranny and corporatism run-amok, is not stupid. In fact, it’s pretty smart. But before I get off subject.
The buzzfeed article is a well written, well formatted and well structured piece. The only problem is, it adheres to the already established fake narrative about Paris: that people in yellow jackets are burning cars and are somehow unhappy with politics and don’t know what to do with themselves and so…. (Sarcasm off.)
Btw. Does any of that sound familiar? Other than the various fancy charts in the article, it sounds a lot like what I remember reading about Occupy Wall Street. But what do I know?
So much for krappy journalism that isn’t exactly fake–it’s just bad journalism.
Speaking of all-things krappy.
Is it any coincidence that a krappy company like Quora* even made it this long? I remember when they first started. I gave them a glance and immediately my martian antennae tickled. I knew from the get-go what they were doing couldn’t be good because, well…
In short, a person signed up to Quora submits questions. Others review those questions and where applicable answer those questions. The whole time while that’s going on–this really krappy company thought it could own everything. Nothing new there considering the companies survived the dotcom boom/bust, eh. And here we are in these days of greed-galore. And so. All one has to know about this company that is currently on the verge of (deserved) total failure, is that it was started by former Facebag employees. So I guess it’s no wonder that it also probably orchestrated recent 100m breach of registered user info. I mean, why not orchestrate something like that as part of your fail-upwardness? Donald Trump–the scammer and chief of all fail-upwardness–did the same to become president and he too has the same amount of suckered users.
As I’ve worst-said here, the rich, with or without their cronies, will burn the whole thing down before giving even the smallest amount of power to the other side (of the political system) that is so desperate to do something about what’s going on these days. Even though the worst-newz this post is linked to is UK newz, it’s totally connected to #Americant. I mean, come on. Who’s #Americants bestie in this world of greed galore? Who did #Americant inherit it’s lust for greed from? And finally, now that my beloved & missed #Americant has become the Europe of yore that it tried to free itself from three hundred or so years ago, it’s gonna be harder than heck to get this monkey of its back. Indeed. The rich and the greedy, supported by beguiled war-mongers and reality TV is gonna have a hard time giving up what they think is their due.
President Stupid is the perfect scapegoat for what is about to happen. And those #MAGA again again a$$holes that still can’t see what this man is all about also deserve what is about to happen. Namely they (the rich) will burn it all down first. It’s in our nature.
Let us begin, dear worst-reader, with a worst-writer transcription from a great movie. Sometimes I get a kick out of doing this sort of thing. It has something to do with my love of typing. Here’s another one, if you dare. The reason I chose the movie Trading Places for this post, by-the-buy, is because, in these times of fake newz galore, is there really a difference between (comedic) fiction and all things fake newz? With that in mind, let’s get it on.
The worst-writer transcript below is from the movie Trading Places. For whatever worst-reason, the scene transcribed reminds me of the/a conversion between fiction (fake) and reality. Even though the dialogue reflects something that could actually happen in (real) life, the actors are able to cartoonize it not unlike what President Stupid has done with #Americant.
Disclaimer. I transcribed this by watching a clip on the #Interwebnets. I make no garantee of accuracy–especially since I’ve been drinking a bottle of Aldi Weissbegrunder (Pinot Blanc) for most of this post creation. Indeed. Weissbegrunder and lots of ice is a great way to battle this #Eurowasteland heatwave I’ve never before experienced while living in this gold-cage life for almost a quarter century. Good luck.
Scene: Mortimer Duke, Randolph Duke and William Valentine are sitting in a luxurious, old-money, pseudo aristocratic #Americant office of a Philadelphia, PA, infamous commodities trading firm. They are all watching the commodities market on closed circuit CRT monitors.
Mortimer Duke picks up phone, connects to a commodities trader.
Mortimer: Mortimer here. Buy two-hundred pork-belly contracts at sixty-six point eight.
Valentine: You’re making a big mistake, man.
Mortimer: Valentine, something very important is going on here. Just watch.
Valentine: Alright. But you’all gonna get reemed on this one.
Randolph: Why shouldn’t we buy now, William?
Valentine: The price is going to keep going down.
Mortimer: Randolph, this isn’t Monopoly money we’re playing with.
Randolph picks up closed circuit phone and connects to commodities trader.
Randolph: This is Randolph Duke. Hold that belly order a moment.
Randolph hangs up phone and turns to Valentine.
Randolph: Tell me why you think the price of pork bellies is going down, William.
Valentine: It’s Christmas time. Everybody is uptight.
Valentine gets up out of his chair and walks around the room.
Mortimer: (to Randolph.) Could we please buy now, Randolph.
Valentine: You want to lose money, go ahead.
Randolph: What are you trying to say, William?
Valentine: Ok. Pork belly prices have been dropping all morning. Which means everybody has been sittin’ in their office waiting all morning for the prices to hit rock bottom so they can buy cheap and go long. So the people that own the pork belly contracts are goin’ batshit. They be thinking about losing all that damn money and Christmas is around the corner and I ain’t gonna be able to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip. Ok. And my wife ain’t gonna want to f… And my wife ain’t gonna make love to me cause I ain’t got no money. So they sittn’ there and they panickin’ and sayin’ sell sell sell! Cause they don’t want to lose all their money, right? They out there panicking right now. I can feel it. They out there. They panickin’. Look at em.
Closed circuit CRT screens shows stats of pork-belly pricies on the commodities market incrementally falling.
Randolph: My God, Mortimer. Look at em.
Valentine: I’d wait till you get to about sixty-four, then I’d buy. You’ll have cleared out all the suckers by then.
Randolph is punching on a pocket calculator.
Randolph: (To Mortimer.) Do you realise how much money he just saved us?
Mortimer: Money isn’t everything, Randolph!
Randolph picks up closed-circuit phone and calls commodities trader.
Randolph: Advise our clients interested in bellies to buy at sixty-four. Mister Valentine has set the price.
Randolph hangs up phone and goes to Valentine and shakes his hand.
Randolph: Well done, William.
Mortimer: (Obviously frustrated. Getting up to join Randolph on way out.) Come on,
Randolph. We’re gonna be late.
Randolph and Mortimer exit and Valentines smiles–as only Eddie Murphy can!
And now on with the worst-post about #Trumpism run amok and all (the) things them #Deplorables will never know.
Why is it so hard to read certain newz stories? Can it have anything to do with the farce of #Deplorable facilitated #FakeNews? Seriously. “Fake news.” Who came up with that? Someone who’s never watched TV in the past thirty years? I mean, get a load of the article below, dear worst-reader. Can you believe that someone or some organisation in the journalist world is trying to sell anything #Trump–or #Americant for that matter–as positive–based on stats and stuff? Oh wait. We’re living in these times, eh. These times of all things fake. And so. If anybody thinks that President Stupid is gonna actually do anything positive for the world, stop thinking. (Not that you actually thought much in recent years.) It’s time for you and your cronies to pack it up, hide your junk, the only women-folk that is gonna fall for you is one that luvs to be grabbed by the…
But on a more worst-serious note: the Reuters article (link below) is really hard to swallow. (Wait. Did I actually just write that? Indeed, I did.) The hardest part about swallowing (it), though, ain’t the mess (left on your face)–but instead the unfake-newz (reality) that President Stupid is really there to wreck everything. The propaganda machine that he has behind him–thanks to Reagan, Rush and faux-newz–is doing a pretty good job of it. Does that mean that Reuters is part of it? Who knows. The unreal question is: considering the state of things, that is, how people are struggling, how the middle class has been decimated, the bar of Stupid has been lowered, this level of optimism and/or misinformation that contains no connection to that struggle, should be reason enough to grab your ankles and hope the inserter brought some lube.
If you’re in anyway invested or vested in what Reuters is reporting… Good luck suckers.
Here’s the latest greed-mongering-magazine’s list of top corporations in the world ranked by whatever-$$$ (I guess). I came across this list because, as an Apple pseudo-fan-boy, my favourite company-to-hate was recently downgraded. How can that be–especially after I just took advantage of a battery replacement program for my ageing phone that was probably the best deal ever? Seriously. If you have an iPhone 6s and an extra thirty-bucks, get the battery replaced. It works great.
Here’s the newest list of really, really great corporations that are doing so much greatness in/for the world–in order of $$$-significance. I guess.
(Source: Forbes 2018)
I’m actually surprised by the first company on this list. I had no idear that the rural, redneck family business of Sam Walton was back at the top of the greed $hit-show. But then again, considering the cesspool that Walmart’s nearest rival also operates (with)in, Amazon is close enough. So let’s run down the list, shall we–as only worst-writer can.
First. Nuff said about Walmart. Unless, of course, one wishes to see yet another of the family kill itself by some ridiculous means. Yeah, über-rich people and their toys. Watching the whole damn family fall out of the sky in a cheap airplane and crushed on the ground would be cool. Or maybe not.
Second. There is no surprise with an oil extraction and distribution company being number 2 on this list. Or is there? In fact, as worst-surprised as I am about Walmart being number one, I’m really surprised Exxon ain’t a whole bunch further ahead than the rest. I mean, come on. Exxon wouldn’t be where it is today if there weren’t enough poor, young #Americants trying to achieve a living-standard based on an overly outdated past and an dinosaur old-economy that could care less about them, by joining the military and, of course, fighting wars-of-choice for… You guessed it: oil. Am I wrong?
The owner, founder of Berkshire Hathaway, the infamous filthy rich grandpa that likes simple ice cream cones, Warren Buffet, has said that he wouldn’t invest in Amazon because it was a miracle company–and he doesn’t invest in miracles. When I first heard Mr. Buffet say that I was taken aback. So there are a few wise men in this greed-mongering world of greed-$hit? Nevertheless, Berkshire Hathaway makes all its money in the stock market. And for those not in the know but wish to worst-know: the NYSE is propped up by lies, lies and more lies–baked and cooked with a whole bunch of sugar-cherries on top. Go figure, eh. The only reason the stock market doesn’t crash right now is because there is no alternative to what my beloved #Americant has put forth in the world: unabated and unhindered greed. And on that note, I digress.
Although I have a lot of negative to say about Apple–especially it being ONLY the best of the worst in technology–I’m kind of relieved that its on this list. I mean, at least one company among these greed-mongering monsters actually produces something worthwhile in this day & age of worthlessness. Say what you will about smartphones, the Internet, social media, etc., Apple is the only company out of all tech companies that has managed to hold together, although not perfectly, the exploitable nature of hardware and software via the human interface. Among the many things I will never forget about Steve Jobs, the one thing that stands out the most right now is his contempt for Mark Zuckerberg and the willingness of a new generation of so-called entrepreneurs who will get rich quick by transgressing achievement and success with the simplemindedness of exploiting the vulnerable, the naive, The Stupid, i.e. Facebook. Go Apple!
The next three companies on the list are all about healthcare. There is only one word that comes to my worst-mind when I think of my beloved and missed dysfunctional #Americant and it’s ludicrous healthcare system: scam. Indeed. So many have been scammed for so long that there is probably no way to get out of the scam. Live by the scam, you become the scam. Only in the land of scam can you also elect #Trump to the highest office–and what a scammer President Stupid is, eh. On that worst-note, I’m way off subject.
For a long while now I’ve been trying to put myself in Jeff Bezos shoes. I remember vividly checking out Amazon on my CRT screen connected by RGB cables to my second (or was it third) used pizza box Macintosh computer back in the mid 90s. Wow, I thought. I could read about books. I could read what other people thought of those books. I could then order a book and… bam! It’s suddenly delivered in… a week? Nomatter. And then I thought: what a stupid idear this is. Why does the world need a retail middleman based on software and an internet connection? Why can’t products be sold directly form maker to buyer? Amazon is indeed a unique company on this list. It is unique because very few can see it for what it really is. Amazon is a scavenger business. It is the result of there being nothing left to exploit and all creativity (in business) being dried up. It is the same with companies like Über and Facebook. These businesses are bottom of the barrel scrappers. But because one of them makes a list like the one above, few people can see through to what they really are all about. Except Warren Buffet, of course.
The last two companies on the list deserve to be combined because they are old economy $hitbag companies. Indeed. AT&T and GM are the remnants of dinosaurs that refuse to be fossilised. That is their only achievement. I suppose that’s good enough for most, at least most of the privileged old economy that partake in their exploitation. Yet I’m reminded of how it was supposed to be a good thing to break up monopolies in the 70s and 80s only to see that exact monopoly return twenty or thirty years later in the form of At&T. The fact that GM received a huge bailout from the government in 2007/8 should disqualify it from being on any list. In fact, GM should be owned by the government and all profit it makes should be used to repay taxpayers for bailing it out. But what am I saying? These dinosaurs can live and prosper, as so many other companies beyond and below this list, only in the land of greed, where free to be stupid reigns supreme and where the likes of an old man like Warren Buffet exemplifies living death–with lots of money, money, money.
Wake up, dear worst-reader. I’ve got some worst-newz for ya. Did you know that there was one of the worst outbreaks of hepatitis-a in the greatest country in the universe last year? Whaaaaa? Repeat: hepatitis-a broke out in southern California! You didn’t know that? Did you not know it because, well, you’re one of the automatons that actually directly contributed to there being such an outbreak? The problems of the world today is mostly due to the passive yet indirect contributory activity of the automaton masses. Even though that mass has been systematically culled over the past two or three decades. Perhaps that’s the reason automatons are so damn nasty these days. And by-the-buy, did you also know that hepatitis-a is one of the easiest diseases to prevent? That’s right, all you gotta do is clean up after yourself and make sure everything else is clean around you. And when I worst-write about clean I’m not talking about clean sneakers or picking up after yourself when you finish your fast-food. I reckon in the land of the free-to-be-stupid taking cleanliness to higher levels–and keeping them there–is asking for a bit much. Of course, my beloved #americant isn’t alone among the so-called first world nations that’s having trouble getting rid of the one thing humanity knows how to make without exploiting others to do it. Even though the two situations I’m referencing here (links below) are quite different, one thing remains the same. You can trace the automaton worship of greed as being the point of entry to the poverty of the soul we all live for now. And the fact that the poor–I’m worst writing about the real poor here–the people that can’t even afford to wipe their a$$es–are soon gonna join the zombies (automatons) as the fastest growing population segment–without proper sanitation and/or sewage. Indeed. Until then, not only do automatons need a place to $hit in the filthy and dilapidated office buildings but the wannabe automatons who couldn’t make it (yes, I’m pretty much one of the later) are leading the way of having to $hit in the streets again (but I’m not quite there yet). Wow. Not unlike feudalism from the good old days, eh?
For what ever strange reason, worst-writing about all this unnecessary poverty in this world got me thinking about Rammstein. I mean, of course, the band and not the rundown town in southwestern Germany. There’s always been something about the song Bück Dich that has bothered me over the years. I remember struggling with the text when I first heard it. Words like Antlitz and Passgang drove me to the brink of coping with having learned this gross language. Yet these words were somehow poetic islands in the sea of wanna-cry devastation that the world has brought upon itself simply because there is so much inherent greed and hate for brothers, sisters and all the freak show inhabitants in-between. Which brings me to this new translation retry of Rammstein’s Bück Dich1:
Bück dich befehl ich dir
(I order you, bend over (and get on all fours))
Wende dein Antlitz ab von mir
(Keep your (facial) expressions to yourself (because of what I’m doing to you)
Dein Gesicht ist mir egal
(Your face doesn’t matter (which is not unlike a whore fcuking her John)
(Get on all fours)
Ein Zweibeiner auf allen Vieren
(Two-Legs is on all fours)
Ich führe ihn spazieren
(I take him for a walk)
Im Passgang den Flur entlang
(Amble along the hallway)
Ich bin enttäuscht
Jetzt kommt er rückwarts mir entgegen
(Two-Legs passes by me going backwards (but what he really means is that his subject is starting to want it))
Honig bleibt am Strumpfband kleben
(The/my honey sticks to his stockings)
Ich bin enttauscht total enttauscht
(I’m disappointed, really disappointed)
Das Gesicht interessiert mich nicht
(Faces don’t interest me)
Der Zweibeiner hat sich gebückt
(Two-Legs bends over)
In ein gutes Licht geruckt
(Finding favour in the light (where I can hone my aim))
Zeig ich ihm was man machen kann
(I show him what a man can do (to another man))
Und ich fang zu weinen an
(Which brings me to tears (of joy or maybe not))
Der Zweifuss stammelt ein Gebet
(Two-Legs screws-up his prayers)
Aus Angst weil es mir schlechter geht
(He is afraid because I’m not pleased (with his performance))
Versucht er tief sich noch zu bücken
(So he tries harder to bend over more)
Tranen laufen hoch den Rucken
(My tears flow up his back)
So I guess, in a way, dear worst-reader, Rammstein has written a homage to humanity and its ability to subject itself to Bück Dick or, putting it in a less Germanic way, bent over and wantonly penetrated so you can have a life where/while someone else can’t. That is, indeed, the only reason you have a life, isn’t it? Because someone else doesn’t? Or are we still on the great white ape thing and how humanity achieved so much coming out of the stone age? But I digress.
Note dear worst-reader: I’m taking extreme liberties with this translation. In fact, I am stretching bigly here in an attempt to capture some essence. For example, although I’m using a simple and direct translation of Bück Dich above, there are other translations that would be just as good, e.g. bend over bitch, bow (as in before me), submit (your ass to me), know your place (in this world or in this corporation), I know your place (in this world or in this corporation and will lead you to it you fcuking simpleton automaton that has never had an original thought). ↩︎