Tag: Eurowasteland

Excercise(s) In Translation: A Schlampe Is Not A Bitch. Or Is She?

There are moments, dear worst-reader, where I love the German language. There are also moments when I don’t love it. But that’s not what this worst-post is about. Even though I’ve given up studying the language–because I reached a point many years ago where I not only would dream in it but I achieved such advanced forsight in it that I could read German facial expressions, German innuendo, German conspiracy-theory, etc., etc. German had become more than a second language to me. And that scared the living beejeezees out of me.

The thing is/was, as an avid, willing and unabashed Ausländer (foreigner) that reached a high level of language understanding (even though I still can’t write in it), I came to realize that I was NEVER, NEVER, NEVER-ever gonna be… A GERMAN.

And so.

There are times/moments, for shits & giggles, I open my first edition, original paperback of Das Capital and give it another go. (That’s right. Wanna know what it is to be German? Read Marx.) It doesn’t take long before I’m once again frustrated–and not only at Capitalism and the families that own all German businesses–but at the fact that I would never, never, never-ever be… one of them. Nomatter what I read, nomatter where the language takes me, nomatter how many of its women I have, all I hear when Marx or a German news broadcaster or a German actor says anything, is this:

Deutschland … Den … Deutschen … Ausländer … Raus!

Germany is for Germans and foreigners should leave.

With that in mind, it’s no wonder that I could barely save myself (from more shits & giggles) as Margot Honecker’s step-daugther, Angie Merkel, started letting refugees into Germany as though there’s no tomorrow. And don’t get me wrong, dear worst-reader. It’s not that I’m against helping others or helping those in need. War refugees, especially from wars-for-oil that the West has been fighting and profiting from since 9/11, do deserve our help. But what are these people supposed to do that come into Germany under such pretence? Wait. Do you see that can of worms I just opened, dear worst-reader?

Nomatter.

Not unlike the grandparents of North Africans that jumped the Colony-train and made their way to France, 21st century war-for-oil refugees will never integrate into German (European!) society. And before things get too out of hand with all this worst-writing, that lack of integration has nothing to do with religion. In white northern Europe (and white wannabe rest of Europe), dark skinned people are out of luck and out of power. That’s just the way it is. If I’ve learned anything since living the past quarter century in #eurowasteland, it’s how tribalism and racism can turn the collective into a fucking madhouse where the cheese and cured ham and white spargel in spring-time taste unbelievably delicious. Whooop-di-fucking-doo!

But I’m off subject. Again.

I wanted to worst-write today about the German language and not how the Germans so naively circumvent their world power by seperating their greed functioning economy from their greedier dysfunctioning a-social politics/society. Part of this discrepency lies within the German language. Ever heard the story that during America’s founding the founding fathers debated what the country’s standard language should be? Well, indeed, German was at the top of the list. But do you know why they didn’t/couldn’t pick German as America’s language? I think it was Ben Franklin that summed it up best.

“Those Germans are seedy and their language makes them so.”

-worst-writer paraphrse of Ben Franklin

It’s no coincidence that Germans aren’t funny, btw. Their language just doesn’t allow humour–at least not without great effort on the part of any drunken audience. German, unless you understand  the context, can be very vague and imprecise–unless, of course, it’s used to build things, to govern things, to write Das Capital and thereby invent authoritarian communism. Oh yeah, and there’s Germans and their elbow-attached beer halls! But let’s not get too lingui-sticky here. (Linquistics and sticky? No? Move on.)

Anywho. Let’s cut to the chase. Below are two screenshots from online news sources that I frequent. Here one can clearly see the confusion there is for those struggling to grasp the German language.

nazi slut
Typo correction, red-line, from moi.

Still, although not funny, German can be fun. One of my favorite German words is Schwer. In English it means both difficult and heavy. Although that’s not a very fun German word, try this one: “Schlampe”. Now that’s a fun German word–especially after you’ve had so many German women, been married to them numerous times, you mother is one and, well, let’s face it, you’re a bit of masochist.

The word Schlampe means many things in English. Here’s a short list:

  • Slut
  • Hussy
  • Trollip
  • The chick that has that “fuck me” look on her face
  • Hot but not marriage material
  • Untidy
  • Lazy
  • Gluttonous
  • Sloth (which I believe is where the word stems from as it was initially used by Indo-Germanic tribes as they hauled off their women by the hair into caves)
  • And last but not least: Sloppy

nazi bitch wrong translation

Indeed. One word can mean many things–depending on the context inwhich it is used. And so. With so many ways to translate something, I really, really hate it when the German language gets abused to the point where those NOT in the know mistranslate it and thereby spread misinformation–potentially hurting not only the language but human communcation.

The one word that Schlampe does NOT translate to is: Bitch.

Again. For posterity’s sake.

A Schlampe is not a Bitch.

Even in German… A Bitch is a Bitch. Woof. Woof.

Or something like that.

Rant on.

-t

This Thing I Call French Love

I love the French. Although having grown up in a world that gives rise to to the likes of #Trump, ever since I got somewhat of a grasp of history, I’ve always had this thing for the French. Obviously it’s never bothered me what happened in the WW2, especially when one considers what happened in WW1. (If you don’t know what I’m referring to then just ask any American white male from any “red” state that was born before 1970 what he thinks of the French.) Besides being fascinated by Napoleon’s Egypt campaign–my goodness, the man wasn’t even thirty years old then–he means nothing in comparison to what I really, really love about the French. And so. Are you ready for it, dear worst-reader?

Up till today I’ve loved the French for one thing and one thing only. But this morning that changed. I never knew that the French had a law that prohibits media coverage 48 hours prior to the start and finish of a national election.

What a great f’n idear.

The French actually have a law that tries to at least curb some of what makes humanity so f’n stupid and also might be of some use regarding Putin’s lust for ruining the West. In fact, any other country with a half-bit more brains should probably implement the same thing, if not adding a few more hours to it. But we know how it is these days trying to find a country with brains, eh. For you see, dear worst-reader, from what I’ve read so far, the same group of Russians that hacked the Democratic National Committee last summer, thereby ending my relationship with that party, and also ruining Hillary at the same time, just hacked Macron. But the news can’t publish anything about it.

God I love the French!

Obviously, for Hillary, things were different with her and the DNC hack. I mean, those damn DNC emails really hurt her but they were in the news and thereby fodder for bathsh*t republicans for months prior to the election. Free speech is a bitch! Does this mean, even though the Russian hackers are pretty damn good, they didn’t do all their research about how the French govern their elections? Indeed.

Yeah, let’s hope Authoritarians the world over won’t be able to rejoice with the election of France’s fascist party which will most surely lead to the demise of #eurowasteland. Yeah, let’s hope.

Oh yeah. Almost forgot. The #1 reason I love the French.

The f’n French Revolution. The way they got rid of a useless monarchy… As far as I’m concerned, that was/is one of the greatest human achievements ever. It’s unfortunate that so many other countries still adhere to that krapp. Yeah, real unfortunate.

Ran on.

-T

The Lie Of The #Eurowasteland Mind

Scream no fear all worst

When I moved to the Germania tribe of the EU in 1989, just before the Berlin Wall fell, money was all-kinda confused and at border crossings, especially to Holland, guards still checked my baggage for drugs. Was I relieved when the money got simple and I didn’t have to worry about them finding a few ounces of hash packed in coffee grounds in my backpack? Hell yea. But that’s about the only good that has come out of the European experiment. The thing is, I was always a Euro skeptic–hence my failed attempt at trade-marking “#eurowasteland”.

I even used to try and converse with Europeans about their future. The question I would ask was simple. Are you German/French/Dutch, etc., or are you European? The question threw a few people off. But in the end the answers were all the same. After pondering their heritage, their language, the cheese they eat and the bread they suck on, they all eventually said, “I’m European but…” The EU is and has been bound to fail–especially as the world comes to terms with the boil & toil it’s gotten itself into in the last twenty or so years. I mean, come on, we are at the beginning of WW3, or? With that in mind, let’s go down Tommi’s little worst-list of what makes the EU… the fucking EU.

  • Although its history and planning goes back much further, the EU really started at the fall of communism. Since communism is, literally, a European thing, how would/could a united Europe orient itself politically if one of its greatest inventions failed so miserably?
  • A single government in Brussel was/is mistake number one. The EU is all about the turmoil and chaos of tribalism. Add to that the bullsh*t of church, monarchies and so so so many people that really, truly believe that they sh*t roses… (Just go to any major EU city and watch the people that live and work there. They all also think they shit Marie Antoinette cake.)
  • The idea of a united Europe based on the United States was a mistake from the get-go since the US was founded by people who ran from the political and social chaos that houses both monarchies, pseudo-communism and the single greatest scam in human history: the fucking Vatican. (Keep in mind that all countries of the EU are centrally controlled states whose economies are dependent on the wills and thrills of banks and churches THAT ARE STATELESS.)
  • Like all pseudo-democratically elected governments (the EU parliament is not democratically elected–they are appointed!), Brussel failed to provide even an ounce of truth to its minions about what it’s really up to. Like any other pseudo-capitalist entity it can only do what a bank allows it to do. This is why countries like Greece and now the UK have to face reality harder than countries like Germany. While the EU parliament was playing around with the lie of governing and political representation the world has been, literally, falling apart over oil and cheap labour. That level of falling apart is easy to hide when you have (almost) free health care, half decent transportation infrastructure (except for Köln, of course) and a system of socialism painted the colours of a rainbow. All of this is perfect for rekindling old tribal ways.
  • That the EU even partook in bailing out Greece is a fucking joke on a grand scale and, not ironically, the catalyst for the UK’s current reaction to this mess. And, btw, Greece had two similar mandate elections regarding its position in the EU–which is ultimately what Greece voted for. The UK has just had it first mandate election. Gee, when’s the next one coming–or hasn’t the queen decided yet? All of this means that as far as banks are concerned, the UK is no different than Greece. The moronic working classes that eat their own shit will never fully understand what’s really going on here.
  • The EU invented “austerity”. Austerity is the reason that kings and queens and socialists (i.e. pseudo communists) exist. Well, that and “belief” in spaghetti monsters traversing the universe in teapots made of unicorn shit. What’s happening to the world right now in the form of economic austerity mixed with globalisation is payback by the ghosts of (19th century) aristocrats that all lost their shirts when people rose up to demand human rights. And so. The biggest problem the world has today is that all those people that rose up against the capitalists pigs of the early 20th century, all died off and left nothing behind. Indeed. Smart people don’t breed! Yeah, baby. The robber baron comeback is done.
  • Everybody with half a mind should be following The Donald right now. Nothing better exemplifies the mindset that has lead to the EU problem (and #americants problems) than Donald J. Trump. I mean, let’s face it, Trump is from another failed European experiment best known as the grand united mistakes of #americant. While a closed class of pseudo aristocrats run all the businesses in the world (of which The Donald is not one!) in collusion with banks (another class in and of itself) where a few people are allowed to suck the teat of it all (which is where The Donald is really from), the only thing left is to watch reality TV (which is also a European invention) and hope for the best.

But I digress.

The EU failed from the get-go because Europe and Europeans have only given two things to human history. One is communism and the other is monarchies that can’t but should die.

Good luck suckers.

Rant on.

Links that motivated this post:

Another Do-It-Right Check For #Eurowasteland

capitalism_not_quite

Aaron Swartz would be proud? The only problem is, what would make him proud ain’t happening where it should be happening. I mean, who cares about #eurowasteland anyways? Nothing comes out of #eurowasteland except new fangled ways of implementing centralised government and nifty ways to tax the sh*t out of people. On the other hand, while #americant continues down its path of Darwinian greed mongering, literally turning society into a cesspool of Mad Max movie extras elbowing each other in the eyes, #eurowasteland, every once-a-once, does throw a glistening light of hope into the ether of worldly greed. Yet, in the context of information being free, worst-writer has this question:

How do you differentiate between what is publicly funded vs what is privately funded?

Which raises another question.

If privately funded research results in discoveries that benefit society, shouldn’t that research also be freely available?

The problem in both the US and Europe is that conservative, neoliberal politics has so successfully merged public (government) with private (corporate) interests that information has become a commodity, informing has become a privilege and Mickey Mouse is the ultimate form of evil because, well, its copyright will never die. It’s a really good thing that #eurowasteland at least attempts to free information from the tyranny of greed, although I doubt this will make much difference in the end. Stupid will always be freer than… But I digress.

Rant on.

-Tommi

Link that lead to this post:

Boardroom Gender Quotas vs Cologne On New Year's Eve vs The Meaning Of Freiwild

what is freiwild.png
Left: a band. Right: police making sure no one enters the church.

What a grand opportunity Germania has right now. Will it act on this opportunity? Of course not. And why not? Well, the answer is simple. There’s no money or taxes to be had in acting on a human failing that, up to now, cannot be made financially exploitable for the centralised state. Misogyny and (mafia) patriarchy are fundamental to the Germania lie–the lie of a social-market-economy. I suppose one can give Germania credit for at least trying. The land of wurst, kraut, autobahns that require drivers of awesome cars to drive all the time with their brakes and cleavage did pass a law last year that requires the centralised corpo-state to add females to its roster of corpo-managers. The idear of actually having some female corpo-leadership is, indeed, a fine one. The problem, though, is that requiring females to be corpo-state-managers means that you first have to have conditioned females that can actually do it. I mean, “conditioned” is the only way to get ahead in a corpo-state, in a centralised economy, among automaton comrades that all must share elbows and cubicles–aka the western (white) world. That would also mean, since most Germania females aren’t all that interested in engineering or banking, the corpo-state would have to do more than just provide tampons in advisory board bathrooms to get Germania females to actually do it. Germania simply doesn’t have enough females that think like the males that have made the country what it is today. And so. As the saying goes: Germans aren’t funny… but some of the laws they make are. Which brings me to the article below. Germany enacted a law last year that is supposed to help change the German mindset–that got the country to where it is today. Ist das dein ernst (are you serious), asked the one-eyed, red-haired pirate born and reared in Saxony. Du spinnst (you’re an idiot) responds his Westphalia rival. Both men tap the bottom of their Kölsch glasses, kiss with their eyes, and sing Kölle Alaaf in front of an audience that doesn’t know which way to sway or get out of the arm-lock they are in. Indeed. §I couldn’t help but snicker as I read the article below. Nomatter what the subject, nomatter what the issue in Germania today, it all boils down to one thing and one thing only: Money. And so. There are two mindsets in the western world battling over (Kölle Alaaf and) money.  On the Anglo side that fight evolves around this: it’s all mine and you can’t have any, i.e. the haves and the have-mores. On the Germania side of doing things the fight evolves around this: it’s all mine and you’ll get what I feel like giving you when I’m ready and my tax revenue allows it. Yeah, baby. Long live centralised, pseudo-communist states faking it (the economy and capitalism) like a drag queen selling out for a drinki-poo. And since I’m on the subject of drag queens. What about Freiwild. It’s all over the place right now. I suppose a naked supermodel with a protest poster in front of the Cologne Cathedral helps spread the word. But to be honest, I had to do a double-take on the word because I hadn’t used it in such a long time. It means something like “fair game”. But I suppose in the context of what’s currently going on in Germania, especially old Colonia, it means something much more specific. And to be honest, one of the reasons you have words like Freiwild means that you also have words like Karnevalsflüchtlinge. Karnevalsflüchtlinge is a word that describes all the people that leave Germania because they fear all the touchy-feely that comes with a corpo-centralised, mafia-patriarchy state that MUST party when the bell rings–which is all that Karneval is these days. Well, it’s that and lots of drinking. But I digress. As I worst-wrote at the beginning of this post: Germania faces a grand opportunity right now. I wonder what it will do with it. Prosit! Alaaf! Maach et joot! Rant on. -Tommi

Source: Boardroom Quotas: The Slow Pace of Gender Equality in Corporate Germany – SPIEGEL ONLINE

Madness Says You're Welcome

the madness gun

Two worst-news issues this morn, dear worst-reader: gun control and privacy. What do these two issues have in common? Well, my guess is… Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Or? While reading through the hysteria that is the byproduct of madness on a scale never before seen, I couldn’t help but find some irony in these two stories. With that in mind. Let’s go there, shall we. § First. President Barry O asked the “media” to talk about America’s gun problem. Thankfully the media reacted. The graphs and charts are kinda mind-boggling. Of course the only thing I get out of them all is the WOW factor. Wow, I had no idear that so many people were killed by so many different methods. There’s car crashes. Doctor malpractice. Breast cancer. Suicide. And then there’s the best method of all: terrorism. Of course, it need not be mentioned that Barry O kinda opened the flood gates on that one. I mean, the US is spending trillions on fighting terrorists. In that fight we have so far slaughtered millions. How then can anyone expect the US to spend money on fighting the rampant gun deaths at home? It just doesn’t make any sense. Yet Obama’s recent call to “talk” about the gun problem might pay off. But to what end? Remember, dear worst-reader, it’s not so much the gun lobby (NRA) as much as it is years and years of conservative and batshit politicking that has brought the country to the brink. I mean. Come on. What is supposed to happen when a Democrat president calls for action on guns? I refer you to the supreme court case District of Columbia v. Heller. This case basically guarantees gun ownership under the 2nd Amendment—even though the amendment was written during times of muskets and includes “provisioner writ” regarding a well organised militia. The supreme court ruling also guarantees that you can own any gun you want–even really, really, really big and fast guns. So, again, what is supposed to happen when the president calls on the media to show a country of morons that…. shit happens? Oh yeah, we get to see graphs and charts and numbers. Of course, let there be no discourse regarding the demise of a country’s infrastructure—and I’m not referring to roads and bridges—where psychopaths, who obviously belong in psychiatric care, are instead faced with making pharmaceutical companies huge profits and then living in basements where it’s gun playtime. Obviously some form of gun control is on its way. But how that’s gonna happen with the current supreme court is a mystery to me. Keep in mind, the only supremes up for retirement are liberal ones. If people are serious about gun control then partaking in who nominates and approves of supremes should also be considered. It’ll be a long, arduous road, indeed. § Nomatter. § Let’s move on to European privacy, shall we. But before we do that, let’s set the mood. Say it thus: privasee. That’s how the British say it. Go ahead a repeat it a few times. Feels good coming off the tongue, don’t it? § What’s interesting about privasee and the recent EU ruling protecting it is how it relates to Edward Snowden. Without Snowden’s leaks the EU would have let all this slide, i.e. the moving and collection of private data from the EU to the US. Although I’m a skeptic regarding Snowden–that is, I just don’t think the info he released is very interesting because it’s more about the How and not the What regarding US spying–it seems as though the after-effect of what he’s done is starting to shine—at least in Europe. Europeans are really pissed off at the US about spying. It’s almost as though every frickin’ European has forgotten about the cold war (which spying helped to end) but still remembers the devastation of the great war (WWI+II) where they really learned how to spy on each other. Remember, Europe pretty much gave humanity industrialisation and with it the lust/need of espionage. Because Europe’s antiquated privasee laws are much stricter than in the US it’s only natural that Europeans react in this manner. Or? I suppose it doesn’t hurt matters very much that every European country has its own IP domain (e.g. .de, .es, .fr, .uk, etc.). Why doesn’t the US differentiate its states in this manner? Without using stealth proxies or any other IP trickery, digital content from Belgium or Spain can be easily traced but only within the parameters of EU law. I’m sure that plays a role whether or not US tech companies maintain EU data in the US. But in the end that doesn’t really matter because, well, the EU is just pissed off at the fact that US companies think they can horde everything and, when asked, turn it all over to the government. And that’s all fine and good. But it leads to a question. § “But, dear worst-writer, what does EU privasee law have to do with US gun law?” Well, like I alluded to above, probably nothing. On the other hand, I’ve been more interested in learning about Edward Snowden’s motivations more than anything else. I’m also curious as to why so little information is given to us about who these “mass shooters” really are–and who the hell is Edward Snowden? Is there information out there that someone or some entity doesn’t want to be public? Who are these people? Where do they really come from? What drugs are making them extra crazy? Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to cloud or discredit the issues here (privacy and gun control). But I do recall an interview with Snowden’s father that revealed an atypical mindset of these times, that of a government hating, gun totting, Amurikan. Yes. Indeed. The riff-raff wannabes are all having their time in the limelight. Some of them murder, other’s find refuge in Russia. Either way, the place many others call home continues to spiral into a frenzy of madness. § Good luck suckers. Rant on. -tommi

Links that motivated this post:

Und Der Fährt Immer Noch

vw no diesel in america

There is a scene in the satirical movie “Schtonk” where it’s said that Adolf Hitler claimed in his diaries that he invented the Käfer. You know, that cute little German car known as the beetle or bug–not the new plastic krapp copy they’ve got now. And not only did he invent the original bug, but he also invented the company that would make the car: Volkswagen. The people’s car. Fittingly, someone adds later in the film: “And it’s still on the road”–Und der fährt immer noch. The implication is that the car was built so well that it will drive forever. I guess. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Schtonk! is based on a true story. It is about a bunch of gaudy, slimy, yellow journalists who think they have found the Hitler Diaries. As is the case in the true story, it’s all nothing more than a grand hoax. But that hoax had a bit more to it than what we see in the film. One of the reasons Stern magazine was so easily manipulated into this hoax was the fact that Germans were starving for some sort of inner reconciliation regarding their recent past. In the movie the top manager of the magazine that was financing the acquisition of the diaries even says, after hearing the first words that Hitler (supposedly) wrote: “We’ll have to re-write German history, this is sensational, this means that he (Hitler) was a person like you and me.” Indeed. A privileged corporatist claims that a past can be changed as long as a new future can be arranged. Or something like that.

The gaudy, slimy, yellow journalists in Schtonk! are no different than the gaudy, slimy, yellow managers that run corporations today. For it is true, dear worst-reader, that the only way to get by in a world where monopolies and oligarchies and plutocrats rule everything is by hoaxing and manipulating and cheating–and arranging new futures. This is the true face of unabashed, predatory capitalism that is drowning us all. And not just drowning all of us minions. Some of the corporations have to drown, too. But only some.

What is the difference between a car made in Germany or a car made in the US? Sure, there are quality differences, maybe even one will last a bit longer than the other. But all in all, they are the same. So how then do you make money if there is nothing to differentiate your product from the next product? Or what do you do if there is no more money out there to buy products? Indeed. You arrange things. In the end, it’s all just corporate bullshit–that has been arranged. With that in mind…

Diesel vs gas = gas wins (in the US)

According to one of the articles I read, 20% of all diesel passenger cars sold in the US are made by VW. That’s fucking huge. Reason? Diesel cars get great mileage–and that whole obsession-thing America has with Germans doesn’t hurt either. Can you say Fahrvergnügen? On the other hand, gas mileage is kinda important to Americans these days, even though Americans don’t really know anything about gas. They most certainly can’t understand why the stuff is such a huge determining factor in their living standard. Seriously. They don’t get it. The wars, empire, failed Texas oilmen elected (twice) to the land’s highest office. Nor can Americans understand that all the money they pay for gasoline, thereby deminishing living standards, goes into the coffers of a few people. That means there are a few gas company execs out there ranting and raving about slimy Europeans encroaching on their turf. And who do the gas companies collude with? Again. A significant # of diesel passenger cars on US roads are made by Europeans. Did no one tell those Europeans that America is gasoline? Diesel is European. And you know what Americans think of the French, right? Freedom fries, baby!

Supply vs demand = supply loses.

They call them recessions and not depressions because the latter is so definitive. They also use the word recession because inherent in the word is the idear of recovery. The western world and the concept of a living standard that permeates it has yet to deal with the fact that there is no difference between depression and recession if there is no recovery. The whole point of Too Big To Fail and bailouts is that corporations don’t have to actually answer to the market. Instead they keep on supplying, i.e. manufacturing, producing, etc., as though nothing has happened. The problem is, there is no such thing as the market. There’s only “growth” which feeds stock prices and open lines of credit. With that in mind, my guess is that VW has simply over-produced. Since there is no recovery insight from this recession (depression) something has to be done with all those unsold cars. But it can’t come out that America’s favourite diesel motor can’t be sold on account there’s no money to buy them. What would Ford or Chrysler say about why their cars are not being bought either? Oh, yeah. They’re all in the same boat.

When multinationals get into trouble this is what they do. They pretend something went wrong. They claim foul from government regulation or foul against a competitor. Or they get government regulators to claim foul against them. They make crony politicians do them favours. Some even hire universities (via grants) to do a study about, gee, I don’t know, …emissions. Next there might even be a study about tire pressures. Are tire manufacturers in dire straits?

Just look at GM’s recent debacle. Didn’t Toyota recently recall a shit load of cars? Does any of this sound familiar? These companies are allowed to get away with what ever they want. They simply push the burden of being unmanageable elsewhere. It’s the slimy, gaudy, yellow thing to do. They arrange (their) futures.

Rant on. -Tommi

Links that motivated this post: